Push Push Push Rest Rest Rest (WT632)

Push Push Push Rest Rest Rest (WT632)

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WT 632 Push push push Rest rest rest

Wowza, have the past two weeks been confronting for me.

I have been completing a time log for 10 out of 14 days.

The idea is to see where you are spending/investing/wasting your time in order to get more productive.

It’s not meant to be judgemental although I’ve gotten myself in such a tizzy judging my time entries.

I’ve also noticed the difference between the personality types as I’ve listened to some of my colleagues talking about productivity versus self-care.

My “Driver” colleagues go “push push push”. More productivity. More Tasks. Get more done. Pay someone to do a lesser costing job so you can do tasks that add more value.

My “Counsellor” colleagues say “rest rest rest”. Look after yourself. Be kind to yourself. Nurture yourself. You’ll burn out if you don’t.

In my opinion, both have merit.  We do need to “drive” ourselves and push to get things done and we also need to look after ourselves.

It’s been interesting for me to see my reaction when I log time with Ross to sit and talk (which happens to be my Love Language – Quality Time & Conversation) and enjoy dinner with him or sitting together on the lounge of an evening and the feelings of guilt, frustration and fear that surface, in anticipation that someone will analyse my time log and judge me to be wasting time.

Wowza!

I have identified some areas I could improve my productivity however the biggest aha for me has been the realisation that I am still fearful of other’s judgement (so I judge myself first).

How do you think you’d go if you committed to documenting your time from the time you wake to the time you go to sleep at 15 minute intervals for 2 solid weeks?

If you’re keen to do it, you can either record the times and the activities on paper or digital thingy or you can determine the categories and record the category entry in a spreadsheet that has 7 days of columns and 15 minute intervals for rows. 

My time log finishes on the weekend. I’ll let you know what further insights I have next week.  Let me know how you go if you decide to do it.

Where do you sit on the Push Push Push Rest Rest Rest continuum?

P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

It’s Not Happening To You (WT628)

It’s Not Happening To You (WT628)

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WT 628 It's not happening to you

It’s 4:12am in the morning.

I got up especially early to attend an online training.

There was no email with the login details.

I checked last night and I double checked this morning.

That’s odd. They always send an email reminder.

I logged in to the training portal to get the link.

The training date is tomorrow.

Damn! I got up early just for this and it’s not on until tomorrow; that means I have to get up early again tomorrow.

Did they change the date?

I was sure I had it right.

I almost let myself go into the Primal state of psychological suffering.

I almost started to blame.

I almost started to get angry.

And I remembered, “Life is always working for us”, (even though at times it may not be to our preference).

Life happens for us, not to us.

So I changed my mindset.

How is this working for me?

It gave me the time to watch the training that I missed last week (because I slept in and forgot about it) and get caught up before tomorrow’s scheduled training.

It also gave me the topic for this week’s thought and it gave me the opportunity to remind you that Life is always working for us. Life happens for us, not to us.

We can change our mindset in a nanosecond. We can stop the suffering.

It’s a decision you make as to how you deal with the things that happen in your life.

Choose to see that it’s not happening to you. Life is happening for you.

P.S.  Click on the link to purchase your copy of The Loyal Lieutenant book and get access to many templates and checklists. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/books

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

You Can Convince Yourself (WT627)

You Can Convince Yourself (WT627)

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WT 627 You can convince yourself

This week we exchanged contracts on a house.

We’d been looking for a while and were initially looking for something to renovate as well as develop in a few years.

We hadn’t found anything that met our initial criteria, so we decided to change the criteria.

Within a few weeks, we found a number of properties which met the new criteria.

One property was a fully renovated property although the rooms were small.

Another property had an extra bedroom and bathroom and a better outlook, however it needed a complete renovation.

We were serious about purchasing the first property which was going to auction. Whilst the rooms were small we convinced ourselves it suited us. After all it was fully renovated and there was nothing to do but move in.

When we found the second property, we started to convince ourselves that the first property wasn’t suitable. “The rooms are small. The renovations cover up a lot things and we don’t know what’s under the renovations. The building inspection said there was rising damp in the rooms downstairs and on and on we went.”

Similarly with the second property, we convinced ourselves in favour of the renovations. “We can do what we want with the property. We have a clean slate to work with. The outlook is amazing, we can see the water. It’s on the high side of the street which is what we want.”

Or we could convince ourselves not to buy it. “The driveway is really steep. There’s a lot of work to do and it’s going to cost a lot of money. Trades are hard to get and building prices have gone up so much.”

Here’s my point – You can convince yourself of anything.  We look for the evidence to support what we are thinking.

Michael Singer describes this beautifully in his book, “The Untethered Soul”. He demonstrates how we argue with ourselves (not others) and we convince ourselves for and against decisions we need to make, judgements about people, you name it. We convince ourselves.

Here’s your activity for this week. Take notice of how often you argue with yourself. Take notice of the debates you have when making a decision or passing judgement on a colleague, customer or family member.

In reality nothing external is changing. It’s all in our heads. We waste precious time and energy arguing with ourselves and convincing ourselves only to change our minds again and again.

Let me know what you find. See if you can convince me too.

P.S.  Click on the link to purchase your copy of The Loyal Lieutenant book and a special bonus to access many templates and checklists. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/books

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

Tell Me What You Don’t Want (WT626)

Tell Me What You Don’t Want (WT626)

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WT 626 Tell me what you don't want

If I asked you what you want, could you tell me?

Could you tell me in great detail or would you be vague?

Would you say something like, “I don’t really know”?

Or would you start to tell me what you don’t want?

This is very common. Most people cannot say exactly what they want however most can say what they don’t want. It makes it hard for people to give you want you want or help you get what you want, if:

  1. You don’t really know, or
  2. You can’t articulate it clearly.

So here’s a little exercise you can do, for yourself and/or with others:

  1. Take out a piece of paper or ipad or something to write on.
  2. Have a pen or texta or electronic writing thingame…
  3. Turn your page to landscape.
  4. Draw 3 columns.
  5. In the first column heading write the words “Don’t Want”.
  6. In the second/middle column, write the words “Why not?”
  7. Go to the first column.
  8. List all the things you don’t want, e.g. I don’t want to start work at 6:30am.
  9. Go to the second column.
  10. List the reasons “why not”, e.g. I want to do yoga, meditation, tapping, journaling etc. before I go to work.
  11. Now for the third column heading, write the words “Do Want”.
  12. Look at your list in column 2 and use that to help you get clear about what you do want, e.g. I want to start work at 10:30am so I can get up each morning and do my yoga, meditation, tapping and journaling.

Using the above example, without this exercise, you may have had difficulty saying you want to start work at 10:30am because:

  1. You might feel judged by others for saying so
  2. You might know you want to start at that time and yet not have been clear on exactly why
  3. You just may not have known that the later starting time was important to you, until you discovered the reasons for what you don’t want.

Give it a go.

Tell me what you don’t want and see if that helps you discover what you do want.

Remember, that’s my mission in life – to inspire, educate and support you to be, do, have and feel what you want.

P.S.  Early Bird Discount, (saving up to $1500) for our August Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience ends on 30th June. More info here:https://shirleydalton.com/leading-yourself-leading-others-may2020/

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

I Just Want A Cuddle (WT624)

I Just Want A Cuddle (WT624)

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WT 624 I just want a cuddle

This past week or so has been tough.

I woke up with a sore throat. Ross teased me and said it was because I snored all night.

Very funny!

The next day I had to cancel a lunch. I rang my friend and as soon as I spoke she started to laugh.

“Cancelling lunch today Shirl?”

I thought I had what people were calling the “Superflu”, so I went to get a PCR test to confirm.

I was totally shocked when the results came back to say I tested positive for Covid-19.

Oh boy! Seven days in isolation. Now that was going to be tricky.

We don’t have a spare bed and I wasn’t going to sleep on the lounge. I social distanced myself from Ross and wore a mask, even to bed.

The hardest thing for me was not having my daily morning kitchen cuddle. I also missed holding hands whilst watching TV and generally having a touch here and there.

“I just want a cuddle”, I cried.

It was horrible. No touch for 7 days.

Author and family therapist Virginia Satir once said, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth”.

After 7 long days without any touch, not even a handshake from a colleague (obviously in isolation), all I wanted was a cuddle.

How about you?  Even if “Touch” isn’t your love language. I’m guessing that you too don’t mind a hug when needed.

Oh and by the way, this week we celebrate 12 years of Weekly Thoughts and still haven’t missed one week.  If I wasn’t so sick I’d be doing cartwheels over this.

This year we’re giving away a copy of my book The Loyal Lieutenant as well as a REACH personality profile to 12 lucky subscribers. (You have to be subscribed to receive the thoughts via email to be eligible to go in the draw.)

P.S.  Early Bird Discount, (saving up to $1500) for our August Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience ends on 30th June. More info here:https://shirleydalton.com/leading-yourself-leading-others-may2020/

P.P.S.  Buy the Book – The Loyal Lieutenant – How The Second-in-Command Brings The CEO’s Vision To Life. Order your copy here, https://shirleydalton.com/books

P.P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

Say “No” – Get Your Time Back (WT622)

Say “No” – Get Your Time Back (WT622)

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WT 622 Say no, get your time back

This concept comes up time and time again. Pardon the pun.

It’s so important to be able to say “No” to things that don’t serve you or move you towards your goals and outcomes.

Here’s an example. I have to say, I’m feeling very proud of myself right at this minute because I said “No” and I now have extra time to write to you as well as a topic to discuss with you.

Since launching my book, The Loyal Lieutenant, Kellie O’Brien, my marketing lady, has been looking for opportunities for me to be a guest on podcasts etc.

She’s put an enormous amount of effort into finding the right hosts and audiences.

This morning I had a zoom meeting with a potential host.

The host mentioned to me that she was intrigued about my story, not of being the Second-in-Command, rather what tools and tips and strategies her audience might be able to use to ensure success.

I shared a little of my own story of being employed in the franchise organisation without anyone to help me figure out the job.

When I finished, she said it was a good story, however she wanted to be able to provide real value – more meat for her audience. Essentially, she was after the How and tips to help her audience think about what they need and what internal and external resources are available to them.

It was at this point that I realised that I was not a good fit for her show or audience.

The answer for me and my message is more about mindset. It’s about dealing with the situation and having the confidence to move forward and figure it out. It’s about understanding the value you bring as someone who can solve problems.  I might be wrong, however that’s the message for me.

I’d love to know your thoughts.

Anyway, I called it. I thanked her for the opportunity. I acknowledged that as a former radio and TV show host myself, that I understood she has her audience and how she wants to help them and the fact that I struggled to answer the question the way she wanted, I didn’t think I was a good match.

With that, we politely ended the conversation.

I got an extra 40 minutes back. I felt so relieved to be able to say “No”.

This is my message to you today.  Look at your To Do List.  Are the things on your To Do List, things you want to do? Are they things that are the best use of your time, energy, skills and expertise?  If not, say “No”. It’s okay to decline. It’s okay to delegate.

Say “No” and get your time back for the things that add the most value to you, your family, your business, your clients, your colleagues and your life.

P.S.  Buy the Book – The Loyal Lieutenant – How The Second-in-Command Brings The CEO’s Vision To Life. Order your copy here, https://shirleydalton.com/books

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

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