The Happiest People (WT618)

The Happiest People (WT618)

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WT 618 The Happiest People

You’ve probably heard of Anh Do. He’s a TV presenter, comedian and author.

He wrote a book called “The Happiest Refugee” based on his experience as a Vietnamese refugee.

From what I have seen of him, he is a great role model for someone who is grateful.

His book title was the inspiration for this week’s thought – The Happiest People.

In my experience, the happiest people are those that are grateful.

They are the ones who gush praise and thanks when someone does something for them.

They are the ones who see the job completed and are so happy that it has been done. They are not the ones who see the bits that were missed or the mistakes that were made.

This is relevant both at home and at work.

When I was a young girl and living at home with mum and dad, I would often offer to hang the clothes on the line for mum.

Instead of being grateful and appreciative of the help, mum would stand on the back verandah and correct my technique – same with the ironing.

The end result – she was never happy with what I did and I wasn’t encouraged to want to help.

The happiest people are those that are thankful for the work or the effort and they express their gratitude, which encourages us to want to do more.

So, which category are you? 

Are you grateful for the help and the work that your team or colleagues do? Do you thank them and praise them or do you often find fault with what they do and let them know how they could have done it better or different?

Next time you might be tempted to become a forensic investigator, put away the magnifying glass and look at the big picture.

The happiest people are those that are grateful.

P.S. The Loyal Lieutenant – How The Second-in-Command Brings The CEO’s Vision To Life. Order your copy here, https://shirleydalton.com/books

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

Almost a Blotched Record (WT616)

Almost a Blotched Record (WT616)

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WT 616 OMG! Almost a  Bloctched Record

It’s Good Friday. I was at the sink washing up, preparing for family to come to lunch.

“OMG! I forgot the Weekly Thought”, I screamed to Ross.

With 10 minutes before our guests arrived, I’m sitting here writing to you because I don’t want to ruin my record of not having missed a week in almost 12 years.

It’s an important goal and commitment of mine – to be consistent.

I’ve been working really long hours the past few weeks and I set another goal that I would finish work last night at 5pm and have 4 days off over Easter.

Well, I finished at 6pm, so an hour later than I planned.

Still, I was determined to set boundaries for myself and not do any work.

I completely forgot that I hadn’t organised the Weekly Thought until just now.

You know that feeling, when you remember, remember someone’s birthday right up until the day and then you forget.

“Doh! How painful is that? How much do you bash yourself up, wishing you had remembered on the day?”

So far, I’m not late and my record is intact because the Thoughts are due each Friday.

Phew!

For me there are a couple of morals to this story.

  1. It’s not too late to go for and meet your goals and commitments.
  2. When you forget, let it go and get on with it.  Carrying negative energy over something you can’t change doesn’t serve anyone.
  3. Set your boundaries and stick to them.

So I wish you a very happy Easter break and I trust you’ll set yourself some boundaries and allow yourself some downtime.

Downtime is important. We need to rest and recharge and the only person who can ensure that happens is yourself.

No need to be guilty.  You do need to take some time for yourself.

Okay – record intact. Guests just arrived.

What will you do next time you almost miss a goal/commitment?

P.S. The Loyal Lieutenant – How The Second-in-Command Brings The CEO’s Vision To Life. Order your copy here, https://shirleydalton.com/books

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

What’s The Right Thing To Do (WT614)

What’s The Right Thing To Do (WT614)

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WT 614 What's the right thing to do

I was sitting at my desk, which is opposite the window in my office.

I noticed a young boy and a dog walk past.

Thankfully the dog didn’t stop to you know what.

Next thing I heard the lid on the neighbour’s garbage being opened and shut really quickly.

That’s odd, I thought.  The neighbour was at work. It was about 4:00pm. I didn’t give it any more thought until Ross happened to mention the garbage lid.

Ross was outside when the young boy and dog walked past.

He watched the young boy lift the lid on the neighbour’s bin (which usually sits outside on the nature strip in front of his house).

The young boy had a small plastic bag in his hand which he threw in the neighbour’s bin.

Yep. It was the dog pooh.

“Uggh!  Wow!” I exclaimed to Ross.  “That’s not very nice.”

“He does it all the time”, said Ross.

“Oh, that’s a bit ordinary. I wouldn’t like it in my bin.”

“Well, he’s sort of doing the right thing” argued Ross. “At least he picks it up.”

Oh boy. This conversation wasn’t going anywhere I wanted it to go.

Still Ross had a point.

What’s the right thing to do?

Pick up the pooh, even if you dump it in someone else’s bin or not pick up the pooh?

Or pick up the pooh and take it home with you or throw it in a public garbage bin?

I know one thing for sure, I certainly won’t be leaving my bin out the front any longer than it needs to be.

Over to you, what’s the right thing to do?

Another of those values collisions?

What’s that you ask?

A values collision occurs when we have a difference of opinion and yet there is no tangible effect on me for you having a different opinion or value.

Values collisions require different skills to resolve.

And I’m curious. What would you do if you were the young boy with the dog?

P.S. I’m so chuffed. People are reading my book and the feedback has been awesome. “A pocket full of goodness” said one reader. That makes me so happy that a. it’s being read and b. readers are getting great value from it (Win Win).  Order your copy here, https://shirleydalton.com/books

P.P.S Dates for our next Leading Yourself and Leading Others experience have been set for May in Newcastle, NSW.   Tuesday 3rd May, Thursdays 12th, 19th and 26th May.  For more information go to https://shirleydalton.com/leading-yourself-leading-others-may2020/

P.P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

What I Missed (WT613)

What I Missed (WT613)

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WT 613 What I missed

Years ago, like nearly 30, I was employed in various government departments. At the time, one of the buzz words was “community”.  I confess, I really didn’t understand what it meant.

In fact, it wasn’t until years later that I understood it to mean people knowing each other and looking after and supporting each other (my definition).

Last weekend I happened to be walking along the street with a new friend when I bumped into an old friend. Immediately we hugged (ooops, forgot about Covid) and had a chat.

It was so nice to see someone familiar; someone with whom I had history.

We had both been members of The Newcastle Speakers Club for years, during which we got to know each other and support each other as well as our fellow members and families.

It was a close knit “community”.

As we drove home I reflected on how nice it was to be out with friends and to see old friends.

I realised that this was something that I had missed whilst we were travelling.

We would arrive at a new location and know nobody.

If we needed help, we felt awkward to ask because we hadn’t had the opportunity to help others first.

I was also less concerned about my appearance because I was confident I wouldn’t run into anyone I know. Now we’re back, thank you for the accountability.  Minus 7kgs so far.

What’s the point?

The point is we need each other.

None of us are islands. It’s nice to know that there are people around who know us, like us and care for us.

Thank you for being part of my “online community”. Let me know what your definition of community is.

P.S. If you’re interested to learn my 4 step process for streamlining your business, or you’ve found yourself in the second-in-command position at work, you might find the information in the book helpful. Order your copy here, https://shirleydalton.com/books

P.P.S Dates for our next Leading Yourself and Leading Others experience have been set for May in Newcastle, NSW.   Tuesday 3rd May, Thursdays 12th, 19th and 26th May.  For more information go to https://shirleydalton.com/leading-yourself-leading-others-may2020/

P.P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

We Didn’t Know What We Were Doing (WT612)

We Didn’t Know What We Were Doing (WT612)

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WT 612 We didn't know what we were doing

One of the concepts we include in our Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience is “synergy” where 1+1=5. In other words, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

What this means is that when you have a high performing team you can create magic. You can achieve far more with your team than what you could by adding up individual efforts.

Here’s why this is relevant.

I am so grateful to Kellie O’Brien and Chrystie Hile who jumped on board to create a team with me to get my book published and launched.

I couldn’t have done it without them.

None of us really knew what we were doing. We learned as we went along.

In fact, all of us were quite nervous and anxious before the launch.

Chrystie was anxious that when the book was printed it would look good and the formatting was correct. Chrystie is our graphic designer and taught herself how to typeset and format the book for the printer we had chosen.

Kellie was anxious that the book would actually be printed on time. We hadn’t used the printer before and there had been some mixed reviews about timeframes for delivery, and of course, we were on a very short deadline.

I was anxious about how the book would be received. Had I included enough information? Was it interesting? Was it helpful? What would people say?

Now on the other side, we have systems and processes in place, ready for the next one (on People and Leadership). It will be so much easier and quicker (once I write the first draft).

Kellie will edit. Chrystie will design, format and typeset and Kellie and I will hold hands again, (virtually) as we press the “Go” button to order the first copy.

Looking back now, even though we didn’t know what we were doing, that didn’t stop us.

Some personality profiles need to know “how” before they get started. Others need to have a plan, whilst my personality type is happy to figure it out as we go and the fourth personality type will delegate and tell us all the outcome we’re aiming for.

When you want to achieve something, it doesn’t matter if you don’t know what you’re doing because you learn as you go.  In fact, Aristotle’s words ring true for me, something along the lines of “the things we think we need to know how to do before doing, we learn by doing” or as another mentor of mine, Lisa Sasevich says, “build the plane as you fly it”.

I’m very proud of the book and I am so grateful to the team effort, including Lee Woodward from Realtair for helping to distribute the book and giving us deadline. I’m also grateful to Kip McGrath for the foreword and to Mark Kentwell for his words of praise along with words from a couple of my other fabulous clients.

We didn’t know what we were doing and yet we achieved something far greater than we could have individually.

What is something you want to achieve that you think you have to know how to do before you get started or you think you have to do on your own?

I encourage you, just get started and enlist the help of a team. Please do let me know what it is. Use that as a little bit of accountability for yourself.

When you get to the end, you’ll not only have achieved your goal, you will have learned somethings along the way and also shared the journey with some great team mates.

P.S. If you’re interested to learn my 4 step process for streamlining your business, or you’ve found yourself in the second-in-command position at work, you might find the information in the book helpful. Order your copy here, https://shirleydalton.com/books

P.P.S Dates for our next Leading Yourself and Leading Others experience have been set for May in Newcastle, NSW.   Tuesday 3rd May, Thursdays 12th, 19th and 26th May.  For more information go to https://shirleydalton.com/leading-yourself-leading-others-may2020/

P.P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

Change Me (WT610)

Change Me (WT610)

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WT 610 Change me

As we wrap up Day 4 of the Leading Yourself and Leading Others experience, one of the main concepts we learn is that of “Change Me – Change You”.

What that means is that rather than asking, demanding or expecting the other person to change, we understand that because we are in a relationship with someone, if we want the other to change, we must change first.

To demonstrate this, I move from one end of the room to the other. Because the participants and I are in a relationship, they shift in their seast to be able to see and hear me. It’s then that I explain that because I have changed, and we’re in a relationship together, so too have they.

If I had remained at the front of the room and instructed them to turn and shift in their seats and look towards the back of the room, they may or may not heed my instructions. And yet, when I change positions, so do they.

If you want to change your relationship or the way another interacts with you, you must first change yourself. Change Me – Change You.

On a similar note, I came across a quote which expands this concept to what’s going on around us.

“You can’t change what’s going on around you, UNTIL you start changing what’s going on within you.” (Source unknown.)

We create our world, whether we are conscious of it or not. When we understand this and take responsibility for what is happening in our world, we can choose to change it.

If you’re experiencing people or situations that are not to your liking or that are challenging, take a deep breath and be open to looking to find your contribution to the situation.

How are you showing up?

What are you thinking?

What is your belief around the situation?

What benefit are you getting from the situation?

All behaviour is motivated by a benefit that we receive, even being a victim has payoffs.

If you want to change what’s going on around you, start changing what’s going on within you.

Change me – change you.

P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

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