Don’t Defeat Yourself (WT735)

Don’t Defeat Yourself (WT735)

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by Shirley Dalton | 26 Jul, 2024 | Blog, Mindset, Systems and Processes

WT 735 Don't defeat yourself

Last week I mentioned the 6 week Confidence on Camera challenge that I completed.

This week I was talking with a client and mentioned that I was about to put the learning into practice by creating a Facebook ad with a video to promote the next Loyal Lieutenant online training experience.

“Oh, that sounds exciting”, she said.

“Yes, and it’s as scary as hell”, I replied.

It’s so interesting how fear and excitement seem to sit on the opposite sides of the same coin.

This week I was also tapping along with The Tapping Solution app on my phone to release any blockages I might have to manifesting what I want.

One of the questions was “What holds you back from manifesting what you want?”

I was surprised at my answer. I thought I had worked on this for a while and yet here it was still rearing its ugly head – I was still saying “No” before the customer does.

It reminds us to not defeat ourselves before we even get started.

It would be so easy for me to put off making the video and creating the ad. And if I did, I would just be defeating myself. I would be ensuring that I didn’t stand a chance of achieving the outcome I desire.

How about you?

Do you defeat yourself?

Do you give in before you’ve even started?

If so, let’s remember Aristotle’s quote: “The thing we think we need to know how to do before doing, we learn by doing.”

In this instance, I can’t say I have learned, even though I have been exposed to the content, until such time as I begin implementing.

So let’s keep ourselves accountable.

What or where are you defeating yourself?

What action can you take towards what you want and who or what can help keep you accountable?

Let me know. I can’t be the only person on the planet who habitually defeats herself.

P.S. Go to the Contact page and message me if you’re interested to know more about The Loyal Lieutenant online training. You’ll learn how to streamline your operations which will improve consistency of your product or service, give you back more time in your day, week, month and year plus reduce all your stress. https://shirleydalton.com/contact-shirley/

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thought delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/Weekly-Thoughts.

It’s Hard To Start (WT734)

It’s Hard To Start (WT734)

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by Shirley Dalton | 19 Jul, 2024 | Blog, Mindset

WT 734 It's hard to start

Do you ever hear yourself saying “it’s hard to start” or something similar?

Do you find sometimes you need a bit of inspiration?

That once you get started, the rest is easy?

Me too.

I recently completed the Confidence on Camera challenge with Authentic Education.

The first 21 days we recorded ourselves and posted to a “safe” group.

For the final week we were challenged to post publicly.

This was a big thing for me because I hadn’t posted videos on Facebook for years.

I had been hiding.

So I put my big girl pants on and faced the challenge.

I shared why I had been hiding and how it was now time to re-emerge.

Once I completed the initial post, I found it easy to record and upload more posts over the coming days.

One of my colleagues happened to mention that he had seen the posts.

I was a little nervous about the feedback he was about to give and to my surprise he told me his reaction was “Damn, Shirley’s gone and done it. She’s just put herself out there and just did it.”

His reaction was curious to me, until he explained that the fact that I had put myself out there, actually inspired him to take action as well.

Wowza. Of course my mission is to inspire, educate and support you to be, do and have what you want, however I never expected that anyone would be inspired by the fact that I just did it.

He also continued to say that “It’s hard to start, but that once you get started it becomes easy”.

It certainly does. Overcoming the procrastination and stories we might be telling ourselves is the hardest part. Once you take action, all that mental anguish stops.

I hope this week’s thought inspires you to take some action towards what you want.

Just start!

Just take one small action.

Let me know what it is.

P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thought delivered directly to their inbox.

Go to https://shirleydalton.com/Weekly-Thoughts.

Don’t Let Your G.O.A.L Become Your G.A.O.L (WT732)

Don’t Let Your G.O.A.L Become Your G.A.O.L (WT732)

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by Shirley Dalton | 5 Jul, 2024 | Blog, Mindset

WT 732 Don't let your Goal becone your Gaol

This week’s topic might be a little thought provoking.

I hope so.

I received a link from my colleague Lee Woodward to listen to an interview he did with Charles Tarbey. Lee is widely known in the real estate industry and has been training principals and sales people for over 30 years. Charles is the Century 21 Australasia Chairman.

Charles explained to Lee how destructive goals can be and how goals are really short term objectives on the way to achieving our dreams.   Link below if you’d like to listen to the interview.

As it turns out, I was coaching with a client, we’ll call him Barry, a couple of days later who was concerned he didn’t have goals. He was questioning whether he wasn’t allowing himself to have goals or maybe he wasn’t destined to achieve them.

This led to a very robust conversation about goals, goal setting and mindset.

In fact, it was Barry who said, your goals can become your gaol.

I thought this was very profound and the reason I put dots in between the letters in the heading is to distinguish between the spelling of goals and gaols.

At times we can become so fixated on the goal and how it is meant to be achieved that we lose sight of the fact that goals are there to propel us forward on our journey.

Goals set the destination, however it’s the journey to the destination that we remember. If you’re like most people, as soon as you have achieved something you wanted, you quickly reach for something else.

So here’s another concept to add to the mix, that of “precession”.

Buckminster Fuller defined precession as “the effect of bodies in motion on other bodies in motion”.

Precession is the action that occurs at ninety degrees to bodies in motion.

When applied to goals, the concept of precession means that we can set out to achieve a goal and find that we achieve it in a totally different way to what we expected (i.e. ninety degrees).

For example, a young man decides to go to Europe to find a girlfriend. He applies for a job as a tour guide. About a month before he is due to leave, he meets a girl and then has a dilemma.  Does he go to Europe to find a girlfriend, or has the goal been achieved already and he doesn’t need to go?

This is precession. We set a goal. We set the direction. We decide the how and start taking action and then somehow, miraculously, the goal is achieved, in a completely different way to what we expected.

What are your thoughts?

What do you think a goal is?

Do you believe it can become a gaol for you?

For me, I like what Charles Tarbey had to say.  Keep dreaming and set short term objectives to get into action.

Here’s the link to listen to the interview:

https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/top-100-business-stories-life-lessons-with-charles-tarbey/id1689351814?i=1000659697275

P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thought delivered directly to their inbox.

Go to https://shirleydalton.com/Weekly-Thoughts.

Perception Vs Intention (WT730)

Perception Vs Intention (WT730)

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by Shirley Dalton | 21 Jun, 2024 | Blog, Communication Skills, Mindset

WT 730 Perception vs Intention

Here’s a little story to help us see the difference between perception and intention.

Ross and I go to the gym of a morning.

Ross is generally ready before I am so he backs the car out of the garage and sits there with it idling.

I put my shoes on and close the garage door and get in the car.

For a while now, this behaviour has annoyed me.

Ignoring all my communication skills for effective confrontation, this week I got in the car and said, “It gives me the s…s when you sit there with the car idling. I feel pressured to hurry up and get going and I don’t like it.”

To which Ross replied, “Well, you can …. off. I start the car so it’s nice and warm for you when you get in.”

Ouch.

Here’s a classic example of perception vs intention.

My perception (or Automatic Listening according to Loretta Malandro) had me thinking Ross was getting impatient with me and I was taking too long.

This was not even close to the truth of his intention.

How often does that happen?

We make up a story based on what’s going on for us, that has absolutely nothing to do with what the other person intends.

Next time you find yourself making up a story, don’t rush in with a blurt that is critical and provoking. Take your time to explore the reasons why the other person might be doing what they are doing.

As in this case, they may actually have positive intentions for you.

I guess I can look forward to jumping into a cold car from now on.

P. S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

It’s Hard To Visualise (WT729)

It’s Hard To Visualise (WT729)

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by Shirley Dalton | 14 Jun, 2024 | Blog, Mindset

WT 729 It's hard to visualise

We know how powerful visualisation can be.

Remember the Harvard study of the piano players where researchers tested 3 groups:

  1. Piano players physically playing the piano over 5 days
  2. Piano players not playing but visualising playing the piano over 5 days
  3. Control group who had nothing to do with piano playing.

The brain scans for the piano players were very similar, despite the second group not playing.

This supports the idea that our brains don’t know the difference between what we might call reality (in the physical) and imagination.

If we want to create a different outcome, we can use our imagination to bring it into the physical, except when we’re in what David Bayer calls, The Primal State.

Our primal state is the state of survival. It’s fight, flight or freeze.

It’s hard to visualise when we are in that state.

If we’re worried about our health or finances or relationships or work, it’s challenging to go from being worried, even despairing to feeling joy and bliss and hope.

And yet that’s exactly the state we need to be in to visualise and manifest.

So, what to do?

Every day, your job is to get yourself in The Powerful State.   The Powerful State, according to Bayer, is the state of rest and relaxation. It matches our parasympathetic nervous system for being calm and creative.

The way to do that is to do something you enjoy.

It’s a way of increasing your vibration and when you increase your vibration you have a better chance of attracting what you want.

What are some things you like to do?

What are some things you enjoy?

Do that!

For me, I love walking along the beach. I love looking out the window, sitting in my recliner with a hot cup of tea, letting the thoughts come and go. I love reading. I love learning. I love watching dogs play.

What do you love?

If you’re finding it hard to visualise, how about taking some time to get yourself out of the Primal and into the Powerful state.

Do something you love. Raise your vibration.

When you do, you’ll find it much easier to visualise and to feel the feelings of having the things you want.

I’m curious, what works for you and what do you want?

P. S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

14 Years – You Have The Answers (WT728)

14 Years – You Have The Answers (WT728)

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by Shirley Dalton | 7 Jun, 2024 | Blog, Business, Mindset

WT 728 14 Years. You have the answers

Today we celebrate 14 years of writing a weekly thought and we haven’t missed one single week in all that time.

I am very proud of this achievement.

I am very proud of my commitment.

As I reflect back over the years, having started my business in October 2006, both the business and the Weekly Thoughts have evolved.

When I first started my business and attended networking events, people would ask me who I worked for.

I didn’t know what to say, so I said, “myself”.

That wasn’t a great answer.

They asked what I did.

I told them, “I help business owners streamline their systems and processes”.

They would reply, “Oh, you’re an IT person.”

“No.”

What I found was that when I finished a project and left the business to continue, the new systems often fell over.

Why was this?

It was because the owners and managers didn’t know how to lead and manage their people.

Evolution number 1 – I started coaching them one to one.

Evolution number 2 – I invested in more leadership training and offered small intimate intensive Leading Yourself and Leading Others experiences.

Evolution number 3 – as I learned more about mindset and neuroscience, we included Possibility into our framework of People and Process.

Evolution number 4 – changing the name Possibility to Potential.

Evolution number 5 – realizing that my clients are wanting High Performing Businesses with high performing people, high performing processes and high performance potential.

Over the years, most of my work has been word of mouth.

People would say to their colleagues, “You need to speak to Shirley”.

Speaking to some clients recently, asking them why they work with me and what benefits do they get, they all answered with a similar answer:

“I came to you because I was stuck. I didn’t know which way to turn. I didn’t know what to do. You listened to me. You didn’t interrupt. You allowed me to speak and then you reflected back what I had told you. Much like a mirror. When I heard myself through your voice I could easily evaluate what was going on. I found the answers and if I didn’t find the answers, you gave me the tools to find the answers.”

I just love that I can help you find your answers.  You have them inside of you.

Sometimes we just can’t see the label from inside the jar.

So this week, I want to thank you.

Thank you for being part of our community.

Thank you for allowing me to help you find your answers.

Thank you for being open to grow and develop.

Thank you for being you.

Thank you for being on this journey with me.

Happy anniversary!

P. S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

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