So Much to Learn (WT455)

So Much to Learn (WT455)

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by Shirley Dalton | 15 Mar, 2019 | Blog, Leadership

WT 455 So much to learn

Do you remember a time when you were first learning something new?

Do you recall how frustrated you felt when you didn’t know something? 

Do you remember feeling useless, incompetent and stupid when you made mistakes? 

Well that’s exactly how Ross and I have felt this past week, as we learned to how live in an RV. 

We left a hose fitting on a tap in a caravan park which meant we couldn’t hook up to water in the next one. 

The water tap blew off a few times sending water everywhere. 

We didn’t realise we had to turn our water pump off when we were hooked up to water and so used our 100 litres in a day and a half. 

So many lessons, so much to learn; like the difference between grey and black water and where it can and can’t be dumped. 

On so many occasions both Ross and I started to beat up on ourselves for not knowing stuff and then we remember The 4 Stages or Steps to Learning: 

  1. Unconsciously Incompetent – You don’t know what you don’t know 
  1. Consciously Incompetent – Now I know I don’t know 
  1. Consciously Competent – Practising and thinking about what I am doing 
  1. Unconsciously Competent – I don’t have to think about it; it’s now become a habit or I do it unconsciously. 

We moved very quickly from Stage 1 to Stage 2. We now know how much we don’t know. Fortunately there are many experienced people who are happy to teach and share what they know and we are keen students. 

It has been a great reminder to be patient when learning something new. 

We will master this. 

This part of the learning process and it’s an adventure and like any journey, it’s not reaching the destination, but the journey to get there that we remember and recount. 

How about you? 

Can you relate to this at work or personally, or perhaps you’re training your team and you are all feeling frustrated. 

It’s all part of the journey and the process. 

Persevere and you will surely get there. 

There is always so much to learn.

She’s Here (WT454)

She’s Here (WT454)

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by Shirley Dalton | 8 Mar, 2019 | Blog, Mindset

WT 454 She's Here

My goodness, what a difference 7 days can make.

Our beloved motorhome, Contessa finally arrived 2 days ago.

She’s here.

We placed our order about 10 months ago and for Ross and I, not having children, taking delivery of Contessa was like celebrating the arrival of a baby.

And like giving birth, it didn’t all go to plan.

The dealership promised us we would be on the road by 10am.

We arrived at the dealership at 11:30am, expecting to have a quick run through and be on our way.

Three hours later, we were nearly crying. We had no idea the induction or handover would take this long and ours was supposed to be a turbo handover.

We then had to throw a bag in the back and get going.

We arrived in Canberra just after midnight and parked on ground that wasn’t exactly level.

I was freaking out. “Don’t move! Don’t roll over.” I was scared we might roll down the hill.

Of course we were fine. It was just my anxiety and overactive imagination.

The next day we ran day one of the leadership program and it all went exceptionally well.

Today we travelled back to Newcastle to pack Contessa and will head back to Canberra next week.

She’s finally arrived and I have to pinch myself.

Less than 3 months ago, I had no idea how we would make it happen and here we are sitting in Contessa, enjoying our nomadic lifestyle.

It feels surreal and yet it is real.

We imagined this. We visualised this. We took action believing this would happen and it has.

I feel so lucky and so relieved.

Now it’s your turn.

What is it you want to manifest?

What action do you need to take to make it happen?

As Rhonda Byrne says in her best selling book, The Secret, Ask, Believe and Receive.

What most people don’t get is that the action part is embedded in the believing. When you believe something is going to happen, you take action towards it.

What’s your thing?

Ask, Believe (take action) and Receive.

She’s here!

First World Problems (WT453)

First World Problems (WT453)

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by Shirley Dalton | 1 Mar, 2019 | Blog, Mindset

WT 453 First world problems

This week I had to catch myself. 

I found myself whinging and complaining because I had to organise to pack and move out of where we were living and wait for a week before taking delivery of our motorhome.

“This is placing so much pressure on me,” I complained to Ross.

“I was expecting to carry food from the fridge in the home to the fridge in the motorhome. I was expecting to take my clothes out of the wardrobe and hang them up in the motorhome, not to have to organise and pack for the motorhome, storage and the leadership program we’re running in Canberra during March.”

I was feeling very sorry for myself and annoyed and disappointed with the dealership and the real estate agency.

I wasn’t walking my talk and as a friend reminded me last week, “Practice what you preach and breathe.”

So I did.

My understanding of how things work from all of the personal development work I have done over the years, is that I am a co-creator. There is no point blaming others because I too am responsible.

On some level, I have created this situation.

When things like this happen, I ask myself, “What am I thinking or doing that has created this?”

As soon as I take responsibility for what is happening in my life, things change.

We had no shortage of offers from friends offering us to stay at their places, whilst we are technically homeless this week.  Thank you friends.

Whilst living in chaos this week, I couldn’t find my makeup and I certainly didn’t have an iron, so I turned up for a meeting looking and feeling very dishevelled and a little embarrassed, until I realised what I had manifested.

This was the start of my new life and my new career. It’s no secret that I don’t like wearing makeup and I prefer to dress casually, and here was the universe delivering exactly what I wanted.

So I have pulled myself into gear, accepted that I am responsible and am getting on with things. These are first world problems. I do have a roof over my head, I do have people who care about me, I do have enough to eat, I am not living in a war zone and I have work and income.

How about you? Are you stressing out over first world problems and perhaps not taking responsibility for your part in the situation? If so, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate.

Let’s be grateful for what we do have.

I appreciate you reading these thoughts every week. Thank you.

And just one more tip. I often use Hoóponopono (ancient Hawaiian clearing technique) to clear myself and the planet by reciting the following phrases over and over (in any order).

I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. 

Essentially what you are saying is “I love the universe and people. I’m sorry for my part in creating this situation, even though I may not know consciously what my part is. Please forgive me to the universe and thank you for the forgiveness.”  You can Google it and learn more. It’s fascinating and it works, whether you believe in it or not.

Thank you. I love you.

Give Them a Project (WT452)

Give Them a Project (WT452)

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by Shirley Dalton | 22 Feb, 2019 | Blog, Leadership

WT 452 Give them a project

Many workplaces use the word “team” to describe their employees or various divisions within their companies and yet what they really have is a group of individuals.

A team works together to achieve a common goal. Individuals within a group work towards achieving their own results.

This week in our leadership experience, the participants experienced what it is like to become a team.

At the end of each session, participants are given homework to do; some complete the homework and some do not. Those who don’t complete the homework cause the group to “fail”.

In the initial stages, participants are concerned with their own success until they understand that their contribution or lack thereof affects everyone.

The way to move a group of individuals to become a team is to give them a project.

Years ago, a psychology experiment was conducted in America where school buddies were separated and placed into different groups at a summer camp. The groups were then manipulated and influenced to the point where the original school buddies no longer liked each other. The camp leaders and psychologists could not let the children return home with a dislike for their friends so they came up with a project which required ALL of the groups to participate to solve the problem.

As the groups worked with each other to solve the problem and complete the project, the relationships began to mend and the entire group became a team.

In our leadership experience, one person stepped up and took the lead, which the others were happy to follow. (As a sidebar, they learned that their people are looking for leadership and are happy to be led.)

There was a flurry of emails, phone calls and text messages as group members worked together to pass the assignment.

If you’re finding that your “team” is really operating as a group of individuals, reflect on the instructions you are giving, as well as the tasks.  Are the tasks set up for individual performance or is there a common goal the “team” are working towards?

If you want your people to work as a team, give them a common project or goal to achieve.

Information or Transformation (WT451)

Information or Transformation (WT451)

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by Shirley Dalton | 15 Feb, 2019 | Blog, Business

WT 451 Information or Transformation

This week I contracted to another training company to deliver a course on Business Etiquette. 

The course was written by the training company and was to be delivered to government employees. 

It was a fantastic opportunity for me because it helped me to understand that my calling in life, my passion, is to help those who want transformation, not simply information. 

My leadership experience, Leading Yourself and Leading Others, provides numerous opportunities for participants to become more self aware as well as gain skills to improve communication and understand people. 

At times some of the activities can feel confronting and participants don’t always “like” me or the feedback they are exposed to. 

At the end of the experience though, most participants express their gratitude for the transformation. To be clear, transformation in this context is what happens in the gap between where you are now and where you want to be. It’s the process of change and the outcome. 

Transformation is different to information. “Information applies to facts told, read, or communicated that may be unorganized and even unrelated. Knowledge is an organized body of information.” (www.Dictionary.com) 

I can give you information such as The ABC of Business Etiquette: Appearance, Behaviour and Communication, but it’s up to you to do something with that information. 

For me the greatest joy is working with people who want to learn and grow; people who are open and willing to change; people who want the feedback. Remember, you can’t see the label from inside the jar. 

Teaching Business Etiquette using a powerpoint presentation instead of my standard colourful flipcharts was difficult for me. I was also limited in the number of activities I could do and the room was arranged differently to the format I like to use and not all of the participants were excited to be there. 

Doing the training according to someone else’s rules afforded me the opportunity to reflect on what it is I do and how much I love working with those who keen and interested and excited to learn and grow. 

Ah. It feels so good to be so clear about my mission. 

How about you?  Are you clear or do you need to do something else to find out exactly what it is you do and don’t want to do. 

If you’re up for the challenge and want to step up to lead yourself and others, I’ll be holding a second program in Newcastle in April. The early bird price finishes on 21st February. For more information go to https://shirleydalton.com/leading-yourself-leading-others-2019-2.

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