If You Want More (WT444)

If You Want More (WT444)

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by Shirley Dalton | 28 Dec, 2018 | Blog, Mindset

WT 444 If you want more

As we celebrate the festive season, I find myself reflecting on Christmas and how it is often thought of as a time of giving.

Many of us were taught “It’s better to give than to receive”.

BNI (Business Networking International), teaches its members that “Givers Gain”.

This year, I truly understood what it means to be grateful and to express that appreciation.

As a child, my mother used to admonish me and call me an “ungrateful wretch”.

I was deeply hurt by this, yet as I got older, I understood what she was trying to teach me, that being grateful and expressing appreciation is so important, and from a selfish point of view, if you want to receive more, it’s the easiest way to make sure you do.

Let me explain.

Over the Christmas period, I caught up with some friends. One friend, we’ll call her Justine, was sharing how upset she was that she went to so much effort to find gifts for her brother’s kids and not one of them said “Thank You”.

At first I thought Justine was just complaining. After all, isn’t Christmas the time of giving?

But what she said next had a profound effect on me.

She said, “I’m hardly encouraged to buy them anything at all next year.”

Whoa! I got it.

That’s exactly how it is with the universe. 

If we don’t show our appreciation and gratitude for the things we have in our lives right now, why would we expect the universe or God to give us more and shower us with gifts.

Since that conversation, I have been very mindful to express my gratitude to the universe and anyone who has done or given me something. 

Now you might say that’s being selfish. Being grateful in order to receive more.

Here’s the thing. It actually feels good to express your appreciation and by doing so, you help to make someone else feel happy about whatever it is they have done for you or given you.

You actually encourage them to want to give you more.

DOH! 

How often do the gurus tell us, “Be grateful” and how often do so many of us miss the point? 

Thank you universe for this lesson. I truly got it. 

Thank you universe for the opportunity to share it with so many. I trust you will get it too. 

Guess what your mission is this week?   

If you want more, be grateful and express your appreciation. 

Let me know what happens.

Find Another Way (WT443)

Find Another Way (WT443)

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by Shirley Dalton | 21 Dec, 2018 | Blog, Business

One of the things I love most about working with business owners and leaders is their ability to problem solve and innovate.

I remember feeling so constricted when I worked for the government. It seemed like everything needed a committee and no-one on the committee would commit to a decision, just in case they would be held responsible.

In private enterprise it is just the opposite. I remember my former boss telling me to “Lose that piece of paper that you cover your arse with; you’re not in the Government now”.  Today we might question the political correctness of the statement, however his advice served me well.

I did lose the piece of paper and I did learn to take responsibility and make decisions.

I found other ways to get things done.

Which brings me to Christmas.

There are no excuses. It’s nobody else’s fault. I am responsible. I did not organise myself to send cards; even though I think of people and want them to know how much I value them. 

I didn’t organise gifts, even though I would often envision a gift that would be well received. 

So I asked myself, the universe and the Committee of Sleep, “How can I express my gratitude and appreciation and wish everyone in my community a wonderful Christmas and New Year?” 

The answer – a video message. 

And here it is.  My Christmas wishes to you and your family. 

Please click on the link. It’s 50 seconds.

Wishing you the merriest of Christmas’ and a bright, happy, healthy and prosperous 2019.

Thank you for being on this journey with me. I appreciate you and I can’t wait to see what 2019 brings for all of us.

When You Have a Great Leader (WT442)

When You Have a Great Leader (WT442)

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by Shirley Dalton | 14 Dec, 2018 | Blog, Leadership

WT 442 When you have a great leader

Last week I became a Number 1 International Best Seller on Amazon with the book, “Empowering You Transforming Lives”. As a co-author, I contributed to the 365 daily inspirational quotes and messages that are designed to lift you up every day of the year. It was certainly a fantastic achievement and today I want to share with you, what for me, was the best part of being involved in the project – and that was being led by a great leader – Rebecca Hall Gruyter.

Thank you to everyone who supported me by purchasing the book. I am truly grateful. I appreciate you. 

Rebecca owns one of the networks that hosts my TV show “Business Life TV”, so when given the opportunity to be part of the book, of course I said “Yes”. 

That was lesson number 1 –  when you are given an opportunity say “Yes”.  

From the moment I leaned into the opportunity, I became part of the team. 

Rebecca held the vision for the book, the impact it would have in the world and for the authors.  

She consistently reminded and encouraged us towards the vision. 

She was clear with her communication and very timely. We knew exactly what we had to do, by when. Rebecca hosted regular online meetings to update everyone involved with each step of the project. 

When it came time to launch, I was given clear instructions and sample promotional posts for social media. I knew exactly what to expect. As an example, I was advised to allocate the day to engage and promote the launch and even though I didn’t really believe it at first, it proved correct. I started at 4am with a check in call, filmed a quick promotional video, launched on social media and the next time I looked at the clock it was 11am and I hadn’t had breakfast. 

It was amazing to see and be part of the collective efforts to reach the goal of No. 1 International Best Seller. 

During the day we received regular updates about sales. We received encouragement to continue to promote. We were given templates to use and we celebrated each and every little milestone. 

At the conclusion of the launch we had a special celebratory online meeting where we expressed our gratitude and truly celebrated the effort and success. How often do we achieve something and simply move on to the next? Celebration and acknowledgement is a critical part of the process. 

Can you recall a time when you felt that camaraderie? Can you recall working with a leader who has vision? Can you recall how you felt when the goal was achieved? Can you recall a time when you knew exactly what you had to do, why you had to do it and when? 

For me it was an amazing experience because I got to experience and remember what if feels like to be part of an amazing successful team being led by a great leader. 

How about you? If you’re a leader, would your team say the same?  If not, now might be a good time to step up. You can learn to improve your skills and awareness and become a great leader. 

My point today was to share what can be achieved and what it feels like when we experience great leadership. 

If you’d like to improve your skills, our next Leading Yourself and Leading Others experience is being held in Newcastle in February 2019.  Early Bird promo finishes on 31 December 2018. For more information go to https://shirleydalton.com/leading-yourself-leading-others-2019.

Anything is possible when you have a great leader!

This Is How It Is For Me (WT441)

This Is How It Is For Me (WT441)

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by Shirley Dalton | 7 Dec, 2018 | Blog, Business

WT 441 This is how it is for me

It’s so interesting how each week seems to have its own theme. 

Generally, I find that more than one person appears to be dealing with the same issue, albeit in slightly different ways. 

This week’s theme relates to expressing how we feel. “This is how it is for me …” 

On a number of occasions this week I’ve listened as clients, colleagues and friends have expressed their frustration at situations in their lives and yet they have avoided having the one conversation they need to have. 

The following example was expressed by no less than five people this week, so I am not sharing one person’s dilemma, rather a sample. See if you can relate. 

Employees not wanting to do certain tasks that are in their job description, instead preferring to do the tasks they want to do. Employees not seeing the bigger picture and the ground work that needs to be done and the teamwork that needs to happen before the rewards can be shared. The boss feeling frightened that if they mention anything, the employee will leave. (Feeling like you are being held to ransom.) 

Here’s the thing; when asked if they had shared how they were feeling about the employees’ behaviour, the answer was “No”. 

Nothing can change if we are not willing to express how it is for us. 

I don’t know the statistics but in comparison to the general population, there are very few psychics. I’m being sarcastic. Your employees cannot read your mind. If you don’t tell them, they don’t know. 

They may be able to guess something is wrong, especially when you are barking orders at them or walking off in a huff. They will experience the energy, and yet most will not understand what’s causing your reaction. 

If you are not having the conversation, you are not being honest with yourself or your employees or colleagues or family members. 

A simple way to start is to ask for some time to discuss the situation and introduce the topic by saying, “I’d like to share how it is for me”.  Most people are open to listening to what is going on. 

From there, be open to how things can be resolved, rather than wanting to direct the conversation to the outcome you’ve already decided.  

Your mission this week is to be honest with yourself. Are you avoiding expressing how you are really feeling? If so, I encourage you to initiate the conversation. Even if it brings out defence from the other person (and it probably will), at least you will both know the truth of what is going on and you can both work towards resolving it. 

“This is how it is for me …..”

A New Way to Look at Goal Setting (WT440)

A New Way to Look at Goal Setting (WT440)

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by Shirley Dalton | 30 Nov, 2018 | Blog, Mindset

WT 440 A new way to look at Goal setting

Do you find that you set a goal and then seem to procrastinate on taking the action to actually achieve the goal? 

Have you ever felt overwhelmed when setting goals because you think you have to set 3 goals for every area of your life and then find you’ve got 15-21 goals in front of you? 

And remember the SMART acronym for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timeframe? 

I do. 

This week I learned a new technique from Coach Mary Ayers and I thought I’d share it with you. 

Mary came up with an acronym for GOALS: 

Go 

Out 

And 

Love 

Something 

If you’re like me, when I set a goal, I often go to my head and “try” to work out “how” it’s going to happen.  Mary’s way is much easier and much more fun. 

Think about how you feel when you love someone or something? 

Don’t you want to spend time with that special person or doing the thing you love? 

Katrina, my hair stylist has recently fallen in love with bare foot skiing. She can’t get enough of it. Her goal is to qualify for the nationals in early 2019.  

Because she loves it, she doesn’t complain about getting up at 5:00am to practice. She doesn’t complain about the bruises on her body from all the stacks. 

She’s doing what she loves. 

Think about yourself, when you love something you can’t wait to spend time doing it. It makes you feel good. Now compare this to the traditional way of setting goals and ask yourself whether the goals make you feel good. Here’s the “aha” for me; we don’t like doing things that don’t make us feel good, ie. for me, that means procrastination and no action, means no achievement. 

According to Mary, if you Go Out and Love Something, you will want to do it and of course the measurement or achievement of the goal comes from the action. 

Think about someone you love. On some level, you’ll be asking yourself, “How can I express my love?” Mary gives the example of taking someone out for a special evening. To do this, you have to decide where to go, what time, make a reservation, determine how you will get there and get home. These are all action steps you need to take to achieve the goal and here’s the magic, when you love something, you enjoy and often get excited about taking the action – it’s not a chore and it doesn’t make you feel bad. 

This week I’m looking at my goals and culling them down to just two and then I’m going to reassess the action steps I can take to achieve them and make sure that these steps are things I love to do. 

How about you?  Do you love your current goals? Are you happily taking action? If not, how about resetting them so you can Go Out And Love Something.

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