Say “No” – Get Your Time Back (WT622)

Say “No” – Get Your Time Back (WT622)


WT 622 Say no, get your time back

This concept comes up time and time again. Pardon the pun.

It’s so important to be able to say “No” to things that don’t serve you or move you towards your goals and outcomes.

Here’s an example. I have to say, I’m feeling very proud of myself right at this minute because I said “No” and I now have extra time to write to you as well as a topic to discuss with you.

Since launching my book, The Loyal Lieutenant, Kellie O’Brien, my marketing lady, has been looking for opportunities for me to be a guest on podcasts etc.

She’s put an enormous amount of effort into finding the right hosts and audiences.

This morning I had a zoom meeting with a potential host.

The host mentioned to me that she was intrigued about my story, not of being the Second-in-Command, rather what tools and tips and strategies her audience might be able to use to ensure success.

I shared a little of my own story of being employed in the franchise organisation without anyone to help me figure out the job.

When I finished, she said it was a good story, however she wanted to be able to provide real value – more meat for her audience. Essentially, she was after the How and tips to help her audience think about what they need and what internal and external resources are available to them.

It was at this point that I realised that I was not a good fit for her show or audience.

The answer for me and my message is more about mindset. It’s about dealing with the situation and having the confidence to move forward and figure it out. It’s about understanding the value you bring as someone who can solve problems.  I might be wrong, however that’s the message for me.

I’d love to know your thoughts.

Anyway, I called it. I thanked her for the opportunity. I acknowledged that as a former radio and TV show host myself, that I understood she has her audience and how she wants to help them and the fact that I struggled to answer the question the way she wanted, I didn’t think I was a good match.

With that, we politely ended the conversation.

I got an extra 40 minutes back. I felt so relieved to be able to say “No”.

This is my message to you today.  Look at your To Do List.  Are the things on your To Do List, things you want to do? Are they things that are the best use of your time, energy, skills and expertise?  If not, say “No”. It’s okay to decline. It’s okay to delegate.

Say “No” and get your time back for the things that add the most value to you, your family, your business, your clients, your colleagues and your life.

P.S.  Buy the Book – The Loyal Lieutenant – How The Second-in-Command Brings The CEO’s Vision To Life. Order your copy here,

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to

Polite Doesn’t Mean Pushover (WT574)

Polite Doesn’t Mean Pushover (WT574)


WT 574 Polite doesn't mean pushover

I was conducting a recruitment interview for a client today.

I asked the candidate to explain his definition of “Assertive”.

“It’s someone who is quite forceful in getting their way”, he replied.

“Wow”, I thought to myself. “That’s not my definition.”

To be assertive means to be honest and congruent. It means that you get your needs met AND not at the expense of others. In order to get your needs met you need to:

  1. Be aware of your needs
  2. Take responsibility for getting your needs met, and
  3. Use your communication skills (I Messages, Active Listening and Conflict Resolution Skills as examples).

Participants in our Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience and Online Membership get to experience this in a number of ways.

There is a difference between being Assertive and Aggressive.

Aggressive people want to win and don’t care if others lose.

Assertive people also want to win, however they look for a win win, to make sure both parties get what they want.

Passive people lose. The give in and hardly ever get what they want.

Passive Aggressive people are the same as aggressive people in that they want to win and don’t care if you lose, however they are not as loud or violent. Rather they are sneaky and manipulative.

Assertive people who use their communication skills are often described as being polite.

Make no mistake, polite doesn’t mean pushover.

Polite people use their manners.

Polite people consider others.

Polite people look for a win win.

There is nothing wimpy about being polite, in fact, being polite can often help you gain support and help from others to get what you want.

Ross found this out when he gave a book to the receptionist at the van park. He took the time to talk with her when we arrived, found out she liked reading books, gave her one to read and add to their swap collection and she’s been very helpful ever since, which she isn’t always with other people.

This week your challenge is to be polite and still go for what you want.

Give it a go and let us know your results.

Polite doesn’t mean pushover.

P.S. Our next face to face Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience will be held in Newcastle, NSW in September 2021. You can find out more by CLICKING ON THIS LINK.

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to

Let Me Finish (WT541)

Let Me Finish (WT541)


Let me finish WT 541

This week we’ve been driving back up the coast of New South Wales and celebrating having the borders reopen.

As I was driving, I received a call from a representative of a hotel group who was keen to reinstate my membership.

(Hands free), I complimented him on his opening script. It was very well crafted, even though I knew what was coming.

“Hear me out”, he said. “I want to let you know about all the new properties and brands we have added to our group.”

He then went on to list a heap of hotel chains that I have no interest in or intention of staying at. When I politely told him I was travelling and working my way round Australia in a motorhome, he then changed tack and started to tell me all about the restaurants I could visit.

He asked me where I was right now. I told him.

He then proceeded to tell me how much I could benefit from the offers in Sydney.

I told him I wasn’t interested in going to Sydney and staying in a hotel.

Then he attacked. “You stayed at x hotel on x date. Isn’t that right?”

It was right. However, I also enlightened him on the reason. We stayed there because we had to use up a free night’s accommodation before the membership expired, not because we particularly wanted to go to Sydney.

“Hear me out”, he repeated, with a slightly raised voice.

“No thank you”, I said. “I have no interest in continuing the conversation.”

He continued to talk over the top of me, demanding that I hear him out.

By this stage I was out of patience. This was not the way to get me to renew my membership.

“I’ve been polite. I’ve told you my circumstances and I have no interest in continuing the conversation. I’m hanging up now.”

He was still talking and doing his best to engage and convince me when I hung up.

Wow! There’s a Weekly Thought. Let your customers finish what they are saying. You might have a better chance of engaging them if you listen to what they say and ask questions relating to their circumstances, rather than talking over the top of them and making them wrong.

And, this message isn’t just for customer service. It applies EVERY TIME you are engaged in a conversation with another. Let them finish.

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