Put Your Big Girl Pants On (WT439)

Put Your Big Girl Pants On (WT439)

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by Shirley Dalton | 9 Nov, 2020 | Blog, Business

WT 439 Put your big girl pants on

Years ago, I was mentored by the fabulous Mitch Axelrod. Mitch wrote the book, “The New Game of Selling” and was teaching me how to conduct a sales call. 

He had an amazing philosophy and system that completely resonated with me; “look for the highest and best outcome for all,” he said, including me. 

As all great coaches and mentors, Mitch wasn’t just interested in teaching me the information. He wanted to see me put it into action.

I had a sales call booked that very day.

Mitch made me practice asking the questions.

I could do it with Mitch but I was terrified to put it into action with “real live people” (not that Mitch was a blow up doll).

Frustrated with me, Mitch challenged me and to this day I can hear his words. In fact, I’ve even used them myself with my own coaching clients.

“Shirley, put your big girl panties on and go and have the conversation,” he demanded.

I gulped. I knew what he was saying was right and yet I was terrified.

What if I stuffed it up?

What if I said the wrong thing?

What if they didn’t like me?

What if they said “No” and rejected me?

What if they said “Yes” and I got the job?

Oh my! The dialogue that went through my head.

Knees knocking, I did put my big girl pants on and showed up for the appointment.

They said, “Yes”.

I was so grateful; grateful to Mitch, grateful to my new clients and grateful for the work.

It truly was the highest and best outcome for all.

And so you might be wondering why I am writing about this today.

Well, guess who got to coach and mentor and share Mitch’s famous words?

I can’t wait to hear the outcome for my client.

And I’m now realising that the universe uses me to talk to you. Is this the message you need to hear today?

How about you?  Do you need to step up and put on your big girl or big boy pants?

We can’t stay little forever.

Become Resolute (WT498)

Become Resolute (WT498)

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by Shirley Dalton | 10 Jan, 2020 | Blog, Mindset

WT498 Become resolute

It’s the start of a new year.

Do you make new year’s resolutions?

I gave up on them years ago because I found myself disappointed at the start of the next year when I reflected back and observed that I hadn’t achieved my new year’s resolutions.

But that all changed a few days ago when I discovered the way David Bayer looks at setting new year’s resolutions. 

If we look at the language, we are looking to “resolve” the year that passed; to become resolute about the coming year. 

Here’s the exciting part. What we know from David’s teachings is that the brain is a goal achieving machine, however, it is going to find and stack the evidence for whatever decisions we’ve made about life.   

The key word here is “about”.  It’s the beliefs or decisions we’ve made about ourselves and our lives that determine our decisions “to do”. 

Instead of making new year’s resolutions about things to do, let’s look at making decisions about. For example, “This year I resolve to love myself more and release myself from the fear of financial insecurity.” 

If I work on that, my chances of achieving goals like releasing 10kg and becoming engaged as one of David’s Coaches will happen because I will be changing my limiting beliefs and hacking my brain. 

It’s our limiting beliefs that sabotage us and when you understand this, it’s easy, with the tools we have, to create new beliefs and achieve what you want in life. 

So, what will 2020 be like for you. Will you become resolute? Will you do the work to change your Limiting Beliefs and focus on the decisions you’ve made ABOUT life instead of decisions TO DO?

Planning is Essential (WT488)

Planning is Essential (WT488)

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by Shirley Dalton | 1 Nov, 2019 | Blog, Business

WT488 Plannning is Essential

Ever have one of those weeks or months when you keep hearing or seeing a message? 

I’ve had a few of them lately. 

The first message came from a member of our online membership program, he reminded us that Planning is Essential but Plans are Useless. 

The reminder was appropriate for the discussion we were having at the time and I left it at that. 

Fast forward a week or two and one of my mentors mentioned it in his weekly training, Planning is Essential but Plans are Useless. 

Three times lucky, this week I heard it again when we had to evacuate the park we were staying in to escape the north coast fires. 

“Ok, maybe I need to have a look at this,” I thought to myself. Let’s dig in. 

Here’s what it means to me. Let me know your thoughts and experiences. 

Without a plan, I have no idea where I am going. I have no focus, no direction and certainly no timeframe. I don’t know what action to take nor what to prioritise, or who to work with, so planning is essential. 

However, plans are useless because much of the time we find ourselves not sticking to a plan or changing a plan before we’ve achieved our outcomes. 

The curious thing about this is that the universe always has our back and at times when it seems like we aren’t getting what we want, the universe knows better and in the long run, it always turns out for the best. 

I remember years ago we went away for a weekend to develop our 5-year plan for our carpet cleaning business. We were really happy with where we wanted the business to go and were excited to implement the plan.

A few weeks later we met with some friends and were sharing our 5-year plan. They asked us a couple of key questions and by the end of the meeting we had decided to sell the business.

“Whoa! How did they happen?”

Turns out it was the exact right thing that needed to happen in order for us to move forward with some other goals we had. Planning is essential, plans are useless.

At the time I was upset and disappointed and I think I gave up on planning. Over the last few weeks I’ve been reminded of the importance of planning and getting into some sort of action, in order for the universe to work with us, to help us achieve our goals, even if they turn up in a different way to what we envisioned. 

How about you?  Do you have stories where this has happened for you?

Are you a planner or an avoider?

If you’ve been avoiding, perhaps this is the message you need to hear (read) to get you into action so the universe can work alongside you to give you what you want.

And for Ross and I, we’ve made a clear decision to find our piece of paradise on the Australian East Coast. I also have a vision for being a Lead Trainer in Australia for David Bayer’s coaching. It’s one of the most exciting transformational methodologies I’ve come across – ever. We’ve worked out a plan, and we’re working the plan. I can’t wait to see how the universe tips that upside down in order to deliver on our vision.

You Need a Driver (WT481)

You Need a Driver (WT481)

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by Shirley Dalton | 13 Sep, 2019 | Blog, Business

WT481 You Need A Driver

I’ve mentioned a few times about the REACH profile. In the past few weeks, I’ve worked with a number of companies where the executive team have completed their profiles.

It has been really interesting to see the results.

In some companies, they have at least one of each profile (Counselor, Coach, Advisor and Driver), whilst others are missing a Driver. 

You need a Driver. A Driver is focussed on the “what”. They are results and outcome focussed and they will push us to get things done.

Without a Driver, we can tend to take it a bit easy and may not accomplish as much as we are capable of.

Ross is a Driver and I’ve noticed how he drives me.  On occasions when I want to wimp out and leave it for another day, he will push and let me know that I have to get my work done so he can do his. Uh! I don’t like it. However, I recognise the need for someone to do the pushing.

Here are the key words for the profiles and how they fit together.

Counselor – “who”. They focus on the people and are great at creating team and welcoming and inducting new team members. 

Coach – “why”. They’re great at inspiring and rallying others around a cause once they understand why the cause is important.

Advisor – “how”. They want to know the details and will push you to share how you plan on achieving your goals.  Interestingly, one of my clients recently demonstrated this perfectly in a management meeting when he pushed the Chair (a Counselor) for “How? How are we going to achieve this? What is your plan?”

Driver – “what”.  What are we looking to achieve? What is the outcome we want? What resources do we need?   

Ideally your management team should have at least one of each to ensure your company covers all important aspects as mentioned above.  At the very least, you need a Driver.

You’re Such an Idiot (WT474)

You’re Such an Idiot (WT474)

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by Shirley Dalton | 26 Jul, 2019 | Blog, Mindset

WT 474 You're such an idiot

Of course I’m not talking about you.

This is what I’ve been saying to myself the past few days; even though I know better than to do that. 

Sometimes my ability to criticise myself astounds me.

I’ve been working day and night to make sure I have everything ready for our launch today for the Leading Yourself and Leading Others Membership Site.

I have pushed myself to learn about 4 or 5 new software programs to make sure they all talk to each other.

I was setting up the member logins and wanted to simply add their details to the new site.

There was an action step that generated a Welcome email, which I did not want to send.

Without realising that I had duplicate automation sequences, of course I chose the one that included the Welcome email and away it went before I realised.

“Damn!” (Well I said worse than that.) 

“Quick, send another email to make sure the members don’t try and login with the details in that email.”

I quickly put together an explanation and again, hit Send, only to find, to my horror, that in my haste, I had forgotten to update the Subject Line which was announcing our next Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience in August in Newcastle.

“Damn!” (Again!)

There was nothing I could do.

My Inner Critic had a field day.

“You’re such an idiot.” “How embarrassing?” “How could you have been so stupid?” “What will people think?”

On and on and on it went, until I screamed “Enough!” “Stop it!”

“Yes, I made a mistake. In fact I made two mistakes in quick succession. That doesn’t mean I give up. I’m learning. People will forgive me. Let’s look at all the things I’ve done right over the past few weeks to get this ready.” 

Does this happen to you, too?  Is your Inner Critic quick to judge and call you names?

If so, here’s a tip I learned from Jack Canfield a long time ago. He taught us to turn our Inner Critic into an Inner Coach.  The critic is there to help us improve, so we can thank it and let it know we’re aware of what needs to be changed or improved and we’re working on it. The name calling can stop.

Understanding that the critic only wants the best for us and for us to do well and achieve our goals makes it a little easier to bear when they can be so detailed with their improvement list.

I’m curious. What strategies do you use to silence your Inner Critic?

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