It’s Just an Experience (WT501)

It’s Just an Experience (WT501)

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by Shirley Dalton | 24 Jan, 2020 | Blog, Mindset

WT501 It's Just An Experience

I recently travelled to Orlando, Florida to graduate as a Transformational Mindset Facilitator for David Bayer’s Phenomenal Coaching Methodologies – in other words Mindset 2.0 but that’s not what I want to talk about. I just want to give you the context for this week’s thought.

On my return flight from Orlando to Los Angeles I was waiting in line at the Security Checking stations. I wasn’t paying attention and like a sheep, I simply followed behind the people in front of me, until …. a hand waved in front of my face, gesturing that I should move back behind a sign (that I hadn’t seen). 

“Step back”, he yelled. “Ma am, read the sign. It says ‘Wait here until I call you’. I’ve got two lines to check and you have to wait.” 

Inside I was fuming. I was embarrassed. My heart was racing and I could feel myself blush the colour of a ripe red tomato from my neck to my forehead. I went into what we call a Primal State. 

I did as I was told. I know better than to upset the American Security Guards, especially at an airport. 

As I stood there, I remembered my training from David Bayer; it’s only an experience. There is no suffering in the experience, only the meaning we give it, so I decided to let it go. There was no need to make anything more of it. Let it go.  

We have hundreds of experiences every day. We don’t need to attach meaning and suffering to something that is over. 

With that I carried on with my journey home and entertained myself with positive happy thoughts of my reunion with Ross and visualised the things I want to create in my life. 

I would be silly to waste my energy on the negative and cut myself off from the creative inspiration and infinite intelligence, that is only available when we are in, what we call, a Powerful State. 

How about you? 

Would you have carried it or let it go, realising it is just an experience?

There is no suffering in any experience; only the meaning we attach to it.

Your challenge this week, and every day of your life, is to maintain living in the Powerful State rather than the Primal State.  (Just to clarify, from David Bayer – the Powerful State aligns to the parasympathetic autonomic nervous system which is rest and relaxation.)

I Want To Get Better But… (WT499)

I Want To Get Better But… (WT499)

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by Shirley Dalton | 17 Jan, 2020 | Blog, Mindset

WT499 I want to get better but...

This week is a bit of a wake up call for all of us.

On Sunday, I head to USA to graduate as a Facilitator of David Bayer’s Phenomenal Coaching System (and it is phenomenal). 

One of the requirements to graduate (and there were many) is that I attend a 2-day conference/graduation event in Orlando, Florida. 

I did ask if I could join virtually. “No. You have to attend in person.”

Dang!

That means I have to fly over 20 hours for a 2-day event and fly back again, not to mention the cost involved in travel and accommodation.

And I’ll be heading back over there in March for his 3 day Powerful Living Experience Event.

So here’s the point.

This week I opened our Leading Yourself and Leading Others Online Membership for the second time. It’s not something you can join unless the doors are open and I had numerous people tell me, “They want to get better but…”.  “They want to improve their leadership skills but ….”

Here’s the wake up call.

We don’t get better by wanting it without taking any action.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a big believer in visualisation or mental rehearsal because we know how the brain works and how we can hack it to get what we want. However, we have to take some action in order for the Infinite Intelligence, also known as Life, to correspond with us.

If there’s something you want or someone you want to become, it’s not going to happen without you taking some form of action.

Something has to change for things to change.

I get it. We get scared. We don’t want to put the effort in. Believe me, if I knew what I was signing up for with the Facilitator Training, I probably wouldn’t have. Once I committed though, I did what was required to graduate.

What will you do?

What is it that you want?

Will you commit to taking some form of action towards having it?

If you want to grow and develop, it’s the only way.

One last point. If you’re sick and you go to the Doctor and he or she prescribes you some pills or bed rest or exercise or whatever it is, do you take the advice on board and follow your prescription or do you tell the Doctor, I want to get better but …..?

Become Resolute (WT498)

Become Resolute (WT498)

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by Shirley Dalton | 10 Jan, 2020 | Blog, Mindset

WT498 Become resolute

It’s the start of a new year.

Do you make new year’s resolutions?

I gave up on them years ago because I found myself disappointed at the start of the next year when I reflected back and observed that I hadn’t achieved my new year’s resolutions.

But that all changed a few days ago when I discovered the way David Bayer looks at setting new year’s resolutions. 

If we look at the language, we are looking to “resolve” the year that passed; to become resolute about the coming year. 

Here’s the exciting part. What we know from David’s teachings is that the brain is a goal achieving machine, however, it is going to find and stack the evidence for whatever decisions we’ve made about life.   

The key word here is “about”.  It’s the beliefs or decisions we’ve made about ourselves and our lives that determine our decisions “to do”. 

Instead of making new year’s resolutions about things to do, let’s look at making decisions about. For example, “This year I resolve to love myself more and release myself from the fear of financial insecurity.” 

If I work on that, my chances of achieving goals like releasing 10kg and becoming engaged as one of David’s Coaches will happen because I will be changing my limiting beliefs and hacking my brain. 

It’s our limiting beliefs that sabotage us and when you understand this, it’s easy, with the tools we have, to create new beliefs and achieve what you want in life. 

So, what will 2020 be like for you. Will you become resolute? Will you do the work to change your Limiting Beliefs and focus on the decisions you’ve made ABOUT life instead of decisions TO DO?

Don’t Dim to Fit In (WT496)

Don’t Dim to Fit In (WT496)

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by Shirley Dalton | 27 Dec, 2019 | Blog, Mindset

WT496 Don't Dim to fit in

Merry Christmas (if you celebrate it), and Happy Holidays if you don’t.

One of my favourite things to do is to read and on Christmas Day I almost devoured this book “Light is the New Black – A Guide to Answering Your Soul’s Calling and Working Your Light” by Rebecca Campbell (2015).  Ross gave it to me and I love the fact that in the book she writes how whomever is reading this book, whether they bought it for themselves or found it on a bookshelf or received it as a gift, our higher self called it forth. Thank you Ross. Thank you Universe!

There was a page in the book that I want to share with you. Headed “Don’t Dim To Fit In”, it really resonated with me and I think you might like it as well. 

“Don’t dim your light to accommodate someone else’s smallness. We are all born to shine big and bright. The Universe is expanding and you are part of the Universe, so expanding is part of your nature. 

“If someone makes you want to retract, notice and slowly back away, they are not for you and you are not for them. Or better yet find it within yourself to expand and shine your light anyway. Flowers don’t open and close according to who is walking by. They open and show their beauty regardless.” (p86)

I love the last two sentences.  

On page 140, Campbell also writes, “The world will only acknowledge you to the degree that you acknowledge yourself.” 

Wow! I must have heard something similar to this, hundreds, if not thousands of times before and yet today for some reason, I really heard it. It landed. So, I made a decision. I’m going to be a flower and let my light shine regardless of who is walking by. In other words, for me, letting go of the fear of being rejected, of not fitting in.  Fact is, I never have fit in. I even wrote about this a few weeks ago and here it is again. I’m trusting I am not the only one who needs to hear this message.

So, what will you do with this information? Will you be inspired to come out of the closet and start sharing your gifts or will you read it, nod in agreement and file it away?

I do believe the Universe is ever expanding and it’s our turn to play, too.

The more you shine your light, the more you inspire us to do the same. One simple way to start shining your light is to do more of the things that “light you up”; the things you enjoy. For me, that is writing. I love to write and so I am committing to writing more, just for the sheer fun of it, without any expectation of where it may go, etc.

What lights you up? Will you commit to doing more of that in 2020?

As we head into the new year, I wish you a year of shining lights. Happy New Year! May it be everything you want it to be and more.

Cheers,

Shirley

Change Your Password – Reset Your Brain (WT495)

Change Your Password – Reset Your Brain (WT495)

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by Shirley Dalton | 20 Dec, 2019 | Blog, Mindset

WT495 Change your password - Reset your Brain

Have you been keeping up with the latest breakthroughs in brain science? 

I’m absolutely fascinated with understanding how the brain works. 

In summary, your brain as part of the human being operating system is both a goal achieving machine and a Google search engine. 

Imagine you have a project to complete and you go to the library and ask the Librarian for some help to get some resources for your project. 

If she’s a good librarian she’ll be able to direct you to exactly what you want in really quick time.

Well your brain is like that, only it doesn’t filter the information. It points you in the direction that it thinks you want to go because of your beliefs and your thoughts – which is why it’s critical that you pay attention to your beliefs and thoughts. 

If your brain is sending you to the wrong aisle, it’s because your thinking is off. 

You can rewire your brain.  

You can train it to go to the right aisle. 

How do you do this? 

You neurosculpt. You make a new decision and then keep reminding yourself of the new decision and finding more and more evidence for the new decision so that eventually your brain understands the path you want it to take. (David Bayer) 

Think of it this way. Have you ever changed your password and then found yourself forgetting it for the first few days and having to look it up every time you wanted to access your computer or credit card etc. and then after a few days you started to remember it and didn’t need to look it up until you changed it again? 

Your brain is similar. When you make a new decision, it may take a little effort to look up the password until you remember it and your brain starts to cooperate and go in the direction you want it to.

I don’t know about you, but I find this information fascinating. We can change our brains. We can have what we want. We can be who we want to be. 

You just need to change your password and reset your brain. 

And that’s something I encourage you to do, especially over the festive season when you might have some more time to yourself.

Thank you for being part of my community in 2019. As the year draws to a close, I am grateful to have the opportunity to hang out with you and I wish you and your family and friends and colleagues a wonderful Christmas and New Year. I’ll be here next week as well.

Cheers!

It’s a Set Up (WT492)

It’s a Set Up (WT492)

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by Shirley Dalton | 29 Nov, 2019 | Blog, Mindset

WT492 It's a Set Up

When Ross was employed as a Site Supervisor, one of his team members used to joke that it was a “Set Up”, when things didn’t go according to plan. 

This always amused and impressed me because he was able to make light of the situation. 

In my recent studies to become a certified coach of David Bayer’s Phenomenal Coaching Methodology, he too referred to the concept of being set up.

David’s take on the set up is that it is part of what he calls The 4 Blessings of Failure: 

  1. Education (we learn something from the experience) 
  1. Redirect (life’s infinite intelligence is pointing out that we are off course) 
  1. Reflection (time to look more deeply into ourselves and understand more about who we are) 
  1. The Set Up (all of the above). 

You might be wondering where this is going and why I am sharing it with you, so let’s digress for a bit. 

Steve Jobs is often quoted as saying, “You can’t join the dots going forward” but if you look backwards you can always see how perfectly life has worked out. 

Both of these teachings really hit home to me this week as I realised for the first time on a really deep level that my life (and yours) has been one big complete Set Up.

You know my purpose in life is to inspire, educate and support you to be, do, have and feel what you want. I couldn’t live into that if I was like everyone else. I couldn’t travel the world and learn and share with you if I had had children. I couldn’t learn as much as I have and share it with you if I had maintained the same job or lived in the same place for the past 30 years. I couldn’t be there for you if I had a big family that needed support. 

If I look at my life (and yours too) from a different perspective, I can imagine myself on the other side deciding to come to planet earth to fulfil on my mission. In order to fulfil on this mission I’d have to have certain experiences. Whilst I’m here living the experience I don’t necessarily have the insight and certainly don’t enjoy all of them, however if I (and we) join the dots, we can see how life is always working for us and it is one big giant set up. 

So my objective for this week’s thought is to have you reflect on your life. Join the dots. Look back and see how things have always worked out for you, even when you might not have enjoyed the experience and if you’re not enjoying the experience right now, have faith, that this too is all part of the set up and that you are right where you are meant to be and that this too, shall pass.

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