Put Your Hand Up (WT591)

Put Your Hand Up (WT591)

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by Shirley Dalton | 22 Oct, 2021 | Blog, Mindset

WT 591 Put your hand up

This week’s theme is about “Independence”.

Years ago one of my bosses was telling me a story about his grandchildren.

He had three grandchildren – twins and an elder sister.

“The eldest is so independent. She will not accept help of any kind”, he said.

“When I offer her help (and she’s only 4 years old), she replies “My Can Do It”, he continued.

“The twins are completely different. Not only do they accept my help, they will often ask for it, “Grandpa, I need you to help me”, he added. (They were 3 years old at the time.)

I find this fascinating that right from the get-go, we are different in how we respond to accepting help.

This week I’ve been working with lots of clients who are similar to the elder sister.

“My can do it.”

Yes you can. And it’s ok to ask for and accept help. Afterall, aren’t the independent ones, the ones to be the first to offer help.

Imagine if we all said, “My can do it”. None of us would have the gift of being able to help.

Which of the grandkids are you most like?

If you’re like the eldest, could you please reframe your mindset and tone down your independence by asking for and accepting help?

We’re all in this life together.

It’s ok to put your hand up.

If you don’t put your hand up, consider yourself stingy.

What? Stingy?

Yes, stingy. Stingy because you are depriving others of the joy of helping or put another way, what if I said to you, “You can’t help anyone else until you accept help from another”. Would that encourage you to put your hand up.

This week, I encourage you to be open and honest with those who care about you. Putting your hand up and asking for or accepting help takes courage.

Be courageous and put your hand up.


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Put It In An Envelope (WT589)

Put It In An Envelope (WT589)

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by Shirley Dalton | 8 Oct, 2021 | Blog, Mindset

WT 589 Put it in an envelope

It was 4:30pm and we were on our way to the next location.

We were about 45 minutes away.

We had planned to pick up a script from the local doctors on our way.

I thought they closed at 5:00pm but thought I’d ring and see if I might be able to collect it.

“Could I please check what time you finish please?” I asked.

“5:00pm”, said the receptionist.

“I have to pick up a script and we’ve been travelling and I don’t think I’ll get there by 5:00pm”, I shared.

“You can pick it up tomorrow”, she said.

Oh well. It was worth an ask. I was no worse off.

That night we decided to get up early the next day and head to our next location, en-route to Kangaroo Island via ferry.

“I won’t be able to pick up the script”, I said to Ross.

“Oh well, it’s not urgent. It can wait for another week or so”, I thought to myself.

As I started to pack up, the thought struck me that I could have asked the receptionist to put it in an envelope and leave it at the pharmacy next door.

The pharmacy and surgery were joined via a connecting door internally.

“You know there’s always a solution to a problem, if you’re looking for one”, I said to Ross.

“I could have asked them last night.”

Our brains are goal achieving machines and they must find you an answer.

But and the but is, you need to be in the right state of being to be open to creative solutions.

Clearly, I was not in that state when I spoke to the receptionist.

I’ve mentioned it before that our goal each day is to be in, what David Bayer calls “The Powerful State” every day, for as long as we can.

It’s from this state of being, that our creativity and problem solving ability flows. It’s from this state of being that magic happens. It’s from this state of being that we come up with different thoughts and ideas.

I really wished I had been in this state the night before and asked the receptionist if she could put it in an envelope. If so, it would have saved me a whole lot of time and effort.

What state are you in right now?

If you’re in the state of anxiety, anger, frustration or sadness, you’re in the Primal State. This is not a good state to be. It’s not helpful for solving problems.

Do what you can to get back into the Powerful State. Simply becoming aware of the fact that you’re in Primal can help change it.

If that doesn’t do the trick, go and do something that makes you feel happy or that you enjoy. 

Remember, everything you want comes from the Powerful State.


P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

Sorry We’re Full (WT588)

Sorry We’re Full (WT588)

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by Shirley Dalton | 1 Oct, 2021 | Blog, Mindset

WT 588 Sorry we're full

It’s school holidays and a long weekend and we didn’t realise until it was too late to book in to another location.

Ross kept ringing the caravan parks.

“Do you have any vacancy for the weekend ?” he asked.

“Hahahahahaha”, laughed the park managers, “Sorry, we’re full. We’ve been booked out for weeks.”

“No problems. I just thought I’d ask. You never know. With the weather turning cold and raining there might have been a cancellation. It doesn’t hurt to ask.” replied Ross.

Ross wasn’t attached to the outcome.

He thought it was a long shot, but asked anyway.

Thirty minutes later the phone rang.

It was a park manager, the one who laughed the loudest.

“Are you still looking for a site for the weekend?”

“Yes.”

“We’ve just had a cancellation.”

“Fantastic.”

“What’s your phone number?” asked the manager.

“Hahahahahaha”, laughed Ross. “The one you just rang.”

Apart from knowing we have a site for the weekend and it is in the Clare region in South Australia with all the fabulous vineyards to visit, what’s my point?

Actually, there are a few:

  1. Always ask for what you want
  2. Take action towards what you want
  3. Don’t be attached to the outcome
  4. Be determined to get what you want
  5. Be persistent

Your turn. When you want something, what do you do?

Do you give up when you’re told “No”?

Do you have a tanty?

Or do you generally get what you want because you expect it and follow the above points?

“Sorry we’re full” can change very quickly.

Have a wonderful weekend.


P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

I’m Happy to Pay (WT585)

I’m Happy to Pay (WT585)

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by Shirley Dalton | 10 Sep, 2021 | Blog, Mindset

WT 585 I'm happy to pay

Today’s thought is about what we value and how those values show up in our every day interactions and affect others, whether we’re aware of it or not.

Here’s what happened:

I had been working from the tiny table in our motorhome and was looking to rent a room at a library or community centre so Ross could take the motorhome for a service.

I called the local libraries; no joy there.

I emailed the room coordinators at the libraries; no joy here either.

I was getting fairly desperate to be able to do my work and present my online training.

I needed a room.

On a return visit from the amenities block Ross mentioned that he had walked past a room near the lounge area in the camp kitchen.

“Fantastic! I wonder if I can hire the room?”, I said to Ross.

Ross went to the reception area to ask.

“There’s normally a fee to use the room”, said the Receptionist.

“We’re happy to pay”, answered Ross.

The Receptionist gave Ross the key and said he didn’t have to pay.

Over the next few days he went back to borrow the key so I could continue to use the room.

He came back after one visit and said the Receptionist was scowling at him when he asked for the key.

After a few hours of using the room, I locked up and took the key back.

I mentioned how grateful I was to be able to use the room.

The Receptionist scowled again.

“It’s a bit tricky”, she said.

“What do you mean by tricky?” I asked.

“Well we’re supposed to charge for the hire of the room”, she said.

“I’m happy to pay”, I answered.

“We can’t keep giving you the key and having to spend time cleaning the room and you’re using the electricity”.

Well this was news to me. I’d be using electricity whether I was in my motorhome or the room, so that didn’t make sense and as for the room needing to be cleaned, I didn’t use anything except a chair and table and I put those back when I finished.

“But I’m happy to pay” I repeated.

“I appreciate being able to use the room.”

“It was built for the kids to do activities”, she informed me. There’s supposed to be a hire fee payable if we’re not using it.”

By this time I was getting annoyed.

How many times did Ross and I have to say “we’re happy to pay”?

Clearly, hiring the room and paying for it wasn’t part of her value set.

Not once did we ask for the room without offering to pay.

“I’ll have to talk to the manager”, she said.

I would have been happy for her to talk to the manager, because “I was happy to pay”.

In the end, I felt so uncomfortable going over to ask for the key that I gave up.

I could have just as easily sat outside in the kitchen camp area and sat at a table and chair and used the electricity – the same electricity I would have plugged into in my motorhome.

Wow! I’m constantly amazed at how we act according to our values and how our values impact on other people.

How about you? What values are you demonstrating to others and how might they be affecting others?

And, just for the record, if I need a room and I often do, “I’m happy to pay”.


Regards Shirley

P.S. Save the Date: It’s next Friday, 17th September and I’m looking for a room to hire. I am happy to pay so I can provide our next free online training session. We’ll be going deeper with last month’s topic How Your Personality Affects How Well You Lead. Register now for 11:00am Sydney time. There’s always something more you can learn. https://shirleydalton.convertri.com/how-your-personality-affects-how-well-you-lead

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.       

Try Something New (WT584)

Try Something New (WT584)

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by Shirley Dalton | 3 Sep, 2021 | Blog, Mindset

WT 584 Try something new

Last week we had a bit of fun talking about bathroom etiquette.

This week I want to follow on with another bathroom story, although there is a bigger message within.

Although we have bathroom facilities in our motorhome, Ross and I choose to use the park amenities in most of the places we stay.

This particular week, “my” shower cubicle was taken when I went to have a shower.

“What to do?”

I could choose one that had little pressure or try out the one with the big shower head. The rain heads which I don’t particularly like.

I wanted the pressure of the hot water on my back so I went for the rain head and to my surprise it was soft with plenty of water and it didn’t flow over my head and down across my face.

How often do we go for the same thing, time after time after time?

What’s interesting to me is that on the first visit to any bathroom, every shower option is new. I don’t know what the showers are like until I have one.

When I find one I like, that’s the one I stick to, even though there might be something better in the very next cubicle.

How about you?

Do you like to try new things and meet new people or do you prefer to stick with what you know?

I’ve set myself a challenge now to test out all the showers when we arrive at different parks, (well for the number of nights we are there). That’s the only way I will know for sure which is the best one for me.

Try something new. You just might enjoy it.

Regards Shirley

P.S. Save the Date: Friday 17th September 2021, for our next free online training. We’ll be going deeper with last month’s topic How Your Personality Affects How Well You Lead. Register now for 11:00am Sydney time. There’s always something more you can learn. https://shirleydalton.convertri.com/how-your-personality-affects-how-well-you-lead

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

Do You Know the Rules? (WT583)

Do You Know the Rules? (WT583)

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by Shirley Dalton | 27 Aug, 2021 | Blog, Mindset

WT 583 Do you know the rules?

With Covid hanging around I thought I’d make this week’s thought a bit lighter.

You know we’ve been travelling and living in the motorhome for the past two and a half years.

What you may not know is that Ross and I have rules or rather etiquette for the shared bathrooms we’ve used in our travels.

The problem is, I don’t think anyone else knows the rules or the etiquette.

In fact, I’m keen to hear if you know the rules.

In most amenities blocks in the caravan parks there are a number of showers and toilets.

According to Ross and I, if you need to go to the toilet and one of the toilets is already taken, the polite thing to do is to leave a toilet between you and take the next one.

That’s our rule. That’s how we’d like things to be.

Unfortunately, not all travellers seem to know this rule.

Just this week I had occasion to go to the bathroom. There were 5 toilets in the ladies block. One of the toilets on the end was occupied, so I did the polite thing and left a vacant toilet in between.

I heard the outside door open. I expected the lady to follow suit and leave a vacant toilet between her and I.

And did she?

No, she did not.

She broke the rules (amongst other things).

She chose the toilet in between my toilet and the lady on the end. That meant there were three occupied toilets together and 2 vacant on the end.

I was not happy. That is not toilet etiquette, according to me.

It’s a bit like having a “shout” at the bar. There are rules and etiquette that you somehow must learn.

Nobody quite teaches you, but you learn never the less.

It’s the same with showers, especially the ones where the walls don’t meet the floor or worse, there is a shared drain where everyone else’s waste water passes by, to the drain at the end of the line. (Tip: Avoid that shower and head upstream.)

So, do you know the rules?

If you do, do you follow them or are you a rule breaker?

And if you’ve got any tips on sharing the rules and the etiquette with others I’d love to know.

Regards Shirley

P.S. Save the Date: Friday 17th September for our next free online training. We’ll be going deeper with last month’s topic How Your Personality Affects How Well You Lead. Register now for 11:00am Sydney time. There’s always something more you can learn. https://shirleydalton.convertri.com/how-your-personality-affects-how-well-you-lead

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.       

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