Stop Looking For The Wrong Evidence (WT532)

Stop Looking For The Wrong Evidence (WT532)

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by Shirley Dalton | 4 Sep, 2020 | Blog, Mindset

stop looking for the wrong evidence

You know that your brain is a goal achieving machine. Right! It’s going to go and find you the answers to the questions you give it. It’s also going to go and find you the evidence for whatever it is you are focusing on.

Stop looking for the wrong evidence.

Here’s what I mean:

Say you decide that your work colleague or your partner or your friend or a relative doesn’t like you anymore. You decide that they are upset with you for something that you did or didn’t do. They haven’t said anything to you. (Of course they wouldn’t, nobody likes confrontation.) Your brain starts looking for evidence to back up what you’ve decided. This is how the brain works.

I’m writing about it this week because so many of my legends (clients) and colleagues have been telling me about their woes and sharing with me all the evidence they have backed up to prove they are right.

Stop looking for the wrong evidence.

You get what you focus on, so focus on what you want; not what you don’t want.

In essence you are creating or manifesting the scenarios. You know you are.

Stop looking for the wrong evidence.

Instead start looking for the evidence for the things that you want and are grateful for. This will ensure you get more of that.

And if there really is a problem between you and someone else, go and talk to them about it.

Often times I’ve accused Ross of being in a mood or being cranky with me because I’ve interpreted his facial expression or manner and decided how he’s feeling and what’s going on. When I do confront him he gives it straight back to me with a “That’s your xxit. Deal with it.”

“Ouch!” He is right though. I’m reacting to the story I’ve told myself and then looking for evidence to back it up.

Have I made myself clear for this week?

Stop looking for the wrong evidence.

Go look for the evidence for what you want. It’s there. You’ve just been filtering it out.

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Hi Ho It’s Off to Work We Go (WT531)

Hi Ho It’s Off to Work We Go (WT531)

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by Shirley Dalton | 28 Aug, 2020 | Blog, Mindset

off to work we go

It’s been miserable in Tasmania the past few days. The weather has been wild. Lots of wind and rain and snow in the mountain areas.

“So what?” you might think.

Well it doesn’t stop the penguins, plovers or pademelons from their daily routine.

I’ve been so impressed watching the wildlife as we travel around. It doesn’t matter what the weather conditions are, they’re out fishing and foraging for food.

They don’t complain. They don’t wake up and moan, “Oh, I don’t feel like it today. I think I’ll have a doona day. I think I’ll stay in bed. I’ll ring in sick.”

Nope! That doesn’t happen.

Hi Ho it’s off to work they go.

David Bayer often references nature when talking about mindset. He’s on a mission to end all suffering. Now that doesn’t mean physical suffering; he’s talking about our psychological suffering, which of course comes from our thinking.

If you look to nature, there is no (psychological) suffering.

Watching the animals has made me aware of how much I look for excuses to not do things. It’s also made me away of how much my “stinking thinking” causes my misery.

As I sit here getting buffeted from side to side in the motorhome, the wind seems to be getting stronger and stronger. I am grateful. I am grateful I have you to write to and I’m grateful to be inside, out of the weather, even though I now have to go out because the motorbike just blew over and hit the motorhome. OMG!

How about you?

Are you causing yourself misery?

What can you be grateful for?

Next time you find yourself in a less than optimal state, how about you remember the animals. Don’t dwell on your thinking and just get yourself into action.

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I’m Fine (WT530)

I’m Fine (WT530)

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by Shirley Dalton | 21 Aug, 2020 | Blog, Leadership

I'm fine

I was talking with a colleague this week and as we often do, we got into a deep and meaningful conversation about leadership.

We discussed the saying, “If you don’t want the answer, don’t ask the question” and the ramifications of not asking, or worse, asking and then accepting the answer, even if you don’t believe the answer.

As an example, (we’ll call him Ted), explained how his kids will sense that his energy is off or his demeanour is rather gruff and they’ll ask him, “Are you angry daddy?”. His response is usually “No, I’m not angry”, hoping they will leave it at that.

Of course, kids being kids, they don’t leave it at that and they persist, “Are you sure?”. They keep going until he either admits what he is feeling or he changes his demeanour to match what he is saying.

How often do you simply accept the answer someone gives you, even though you have an innate sense that what they are saying is not true, just because it is easier to accept than to question?

Good leaders know their people and they know when what they are saying and what they are doing or how they are showing up is out of alignment.

Good leaders are present; not distracted. They are aware. They see, they listen and they enquire.

Good leaders have taken the journey from being totally unaware to becoming aware of themselves and their team.

They give themselves permission to ask and to follow up. They don’t take the easy road to simply accept an answer at face value.

Are you a good leader or do you aspire to be? If so, you won’t accept “I’m fine” for an answer when your senses tell you, they are not fine.

Remember, it takes courage to not leave it alone. It takes courage to ask and it takes courage to confront.

What will you do next time you ask and the answer you get is “I’m fine”?

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It’s the Same Old Same Old (WT529)

It’s the Same Old Same Old (WT529)

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by Shirley Dalton | 14 Aug, 2020 | Blog, Mindset

It’s the Same Old Same Old

Have you ever found yourself saying, “it’s the same old, same old”?

According to Dictionary.Cambridge.org, it’s a phrase that’s “used to say that a situation or someone’s behaviour remains the same, especially when it is boring or annoying: Most people just keep on doing the same old same old every day.” 

Doing the same old same old behaviour concerns me when we apply it to work that we don’t want to be doing and in some cases, work that we “shouldn’t” be doing.

Another of my favourite phrases that is relevant to our discussion this week can be abbreviated to “HABU”.  “HABU” stands for “Highest And Best Use”. Of course, we’re talking about your genius, your skills, your contribution and your time.

As I’ve been working with members in our Leading Yourself and Leading Others membership and fellow travellers on this journey of life, I’ve observed a common theme over the past few weeks.

Many have been lapsing back into old habits. They’ve been seduced back into doing tasks that they don’t want to and isn’t their highest and best use.

How about you, does this apply to you, too?

It’s something I have to watch for myself as well. Making a decision and sticking to the plan tests us all.

The way forward is to look at our beliefs. If our beliefs are not in alignment with the results we want to achieve; we simply won’t achieve them. We can’t. It’s not possible because our beliefs dictate our destiny and they generate our thoughts. 

We might think that we’ve made a decision and are actually taking action, however, we often find that we can sabotage ourselves and not stick to the decision or commit to the discipline of the action and thus find ourselves back doing the same old same old.

For example, you can’t decide to start delegating and then continue to do the tasks yourself. If your beliefs are not in alignment with delegating, you’ll find all sorts of reasons and excuses as to why you must keep doing the tasks. Your vibration will also ensure that you attract people or situations into your life that prevent you from moving forward. 

This is a very serious topic. I want for you, what you want for you. Maybe it’s time to change those beliefs; make some new decisions and start looking for the evidence to support your new decisions. This is Mindset 2.0; stacking the evidence to prune your old neuro pathways and rewire your brain so you can stop doing the same old same old and start doing the things that you say you want to do.

I’m Leaving (WT528)

I’m Leaving (WT528)

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by Shirley Dalton | 7 Aug, 2020 | Blog, Leadership

WT 528 I'm Leaving

When you’ve got good people, the last thing you want to hear is “I’m leaving”. 

Talking with one of my rockstars this week, we discussed the importance of knowing your people so you don’t get blindsided when they give their notice.

“The more I know about the people I lead, the easier it is for me”, she said.

Knowing your people is the second milestone on our Blueprint for Business Freedom. 

When you know your people, you know what motivates them. You know what they want and don’t want. You understand what’s going on for them out of work. You know what’s important to them.

Think about your team. What do you know about them? 

Are they in a relationship?  

Do they have kids? 

What do they do for fun? 

What are their goals; at work and out of work? 

What is their Love Language; how do they like to be appreciated? 

How do they like to learn? 

How do they like to be managed? 

What do they like about the work they do? 

What don’t they like? 

What are they good at? 

What are they not good at? 

Are they ambitious? 

The more you know about your people, the more you’ll understand them and the more you understand them, the easier it will be to look for a win win situation to help them get what they want, so you can get what you want. 

One of my former bosses, Kip McGrath, was a master at knowing his people. I started working with him in August 2000. By December 2000, he gave me a $5000 pay increase. He also knew I was ambitious and I loved to learn and grow and develop.

A few months later, he came to me with a proposal. “I’ll give you 3 years of management training if you give me 5 years of service.”

There was no written agreement. It was a handshake. We agreed on a number of 6 monthly milestones and each time I met them, my pay and responsibility increased.

Within 3 years, I was a senior member of the executive team and had tripled my income.

Kip was such an amazing boss and mentor. He knew his people and he always found ways to create a win win situation for his employees and the business.

Back to you. How well do you know your people?

Would you see it coming before they announce “I’m leaving”?

The Power of Intention (WT527)

The Power of Intention (WT527)

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by Shirley Dalton | 31 Jul, 2020 | Blog, Mindset

WT527 The Power of Intention

Over the past few weeks I’ve been playing The Cashflow Game online, from Rich Dad Poor Dad author, Robert Kiyosaki, with a couple of my colleagues.

I’ve really enjoyed playing and have learned so much. I’ve learned lots of lessons about dealing with financial crises, like when you land on the divorce card and lose all your money or you find yourself redundant or the value of your shares gets halved and let’s not even mention the cost of having children when you land on that one.

There are plenty of positive scenarios as well, like when your shares double or you get to sell a condo or house for a big profit or your business brings in lots of extra monthly revenue.

It’s a great game and it’s free. I’ve included a link at the bottom of the thought.

The reason I’m sharing this is to also share a major lesson I learned from one of my game partners and that is, “To be intentional”.

In a couple of the games I was losing big time. I was getting annoyed and wanted to just quit and give up (life lesson number 1). My colleague, who is an Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) master coached me, “Power of intention, Shirley,” she said. 

“What do you mean?” I asked. 

“Have a look at where you are on the board and see how many moves you need to make to land on the opportunity you want.”

I still didn’t understand.

“When you click to roll the dice, be intentional about the number you want to roll.”

“Oh, okay”, and so I did.

In this week’s game, I won twice because I was intentional. I worked out the number I needed to roll on the dice to land on my dream and I was intentional about having enough money to buy it and I did.

I loved the reminder to be intentional. My partner also reminded me, “Be intentional in life. too.” It doesn’t only work in the game. The power of intention can bring you extraordinary results.

It was such a great reminder; such a great lesson. I am so grateful and wanted to share with you.

Here’s the link if you’re interested. You can play by yourself or with others: https://bit.ly/shirleycashflow. Let me know what you learn (about yourself and about managing your finances).

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