Get a Mirror (WT587)

Get a Mirror (WT587)

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by Shirley Dalton | 24 Sep, 2021 | Blog, Leadership

WT 587 Get a mirror

I fell off my pushbike today.

I was following Ross and he navigated a tricky pedestrian crossing at the lights.

A car stopped for him and the driver waved him on.

I was happy to stop and wait, however the driver waved me on too.

I felt pressured to keep going, although I’m not as proficient at riding as Ross.

Of course I fell over.

Right in the middle of the road.

Right in front of the driver.

Right in front of all the other cars that were stopped at the lights.

I was embarrassed.

I was hurt and Ross was nowhere to be seen.

The young driver called out to see if I was ok.

I had somehow landed on my backside with both legs in the air and I managed to roll over and found myself laying there with hands, palms facing down on the road, for what seemed like minutes before I gathered myself and untwisted the bike and walked to the other side of the road.

Where was Ross?

All I wanted to do was cry and melt into his arms.

He had ridden up the road and was waiting; sitting on a seat outside our destination.

Now I was mad.

Instead of melting into his arms, I wanted to punch him.

“Get a mirror”, I screamed

“Get a mirror on that damn bike so you can see what’s happening behind you.”

Of course, this outburst came because of an earlier frustration I had had with him not hearing me call out when we were riding in Darwin.

And to my point, no matter what we are doing, we need to be present and remain alert and of course, not pressure ourselves when we’re in situations that are uncomfortable.

What will you do?

Will you get a mirror?


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Yes I Did and I’m Sorry (WT586)

Yes I Did and I’m Sorry (WT586)

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by Shirley Dalton | 17 Sep, 2021 | Blog, Leadership

WT 586 Yes I Did and I'm Sorry

Our theme this week is taking responsibility.

It always amazes me how themes arise.

I often hear stories from different people around the same topic.

Here’s a couple of examples:

  1. A worker isn’t performing. The worker fails to produce an expected outcome on time. The supervisor calls a meeting. The worker offers excuses as to why it wasn’t his fault. The supervisor asks, “What’s your 50% in this?” The worker continues blaming circumstances and others. The worker doesn’t seem to understand, that we are all co-creators and that if it’s happening and you’re involved, then you too are responsible.
  2. Watching the TV show, SAS Australia, celebrities are tasked with completing 30 rounds of a number of activities. The staff are not physically watching, however the celebrities do not know that they are being filmed. One of the celebrities only completes 15 rounds instead of 30 for one activity. The Leader asks for anyone who didn’t complete all rounds to step forward. A couple of people step forward. They may have completed 27, 28 or 29 rounds. They can step back. The “cheat” did not own up. The “cheat” did not take responsibility for his actions and made excuses. His actions did not help to create good trusting relationships with the other “team members”.
  3. Elizabeth vents loudly to Cassandra. Elizabeth complains about Margaret not pulling her weight. Cassandra encourages her to confront Margaret. “Oh no, I couldn’t do that. I don’t want to hurt her feelings. I was rather hoping you could have a word to her for me”, replies Elizabeth.

In all three situations, no-one is taking responsibility for their actions. No-one is taking ownership of what needs to be done.

Years ago some friends of ours shared a story about their three sons. They were laughing as they told us about their middle son, we’ll call him Mark. Mark was always up to no good. He would borrow things from his brothers without asking. He crashed his bike. He broke things, however, unlike his brothers, when asked if he was responsible or whether it was he who had done “the thing”, he always answered, “Yes, I did and I’m sorry”. 

“How can you get angry at that?” our friends asked. “At least he is taking responsibility and apologising, unlike his brothers who would look to blame or give excuses.” As it turned out, his brothers got into more trouble for blaming and lying to get out of trouble than Mark did for actually doing the wrong thing.

When it comes to working with people and interacting with your family and friends, who would you rather hang out with; someone who gets into BED with Blame, Excuses and Denial or someone who takes responsibility and says, “Yes I did and I’m sorry?”


P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

I’m Happy to Pay (WT585)

I’m Happy to Pay (WT585)

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by Shirley Dalton | 10 Sep, 2021 | Blog, Mindset

WT 585 I'm happy to pay

Today’s thought is about what we value and how those values show up in our every day interactions and affect others, whether we’re aware of it or not.

Here’s what happened:

I had been working from the tiny table in our motorhome and was looking to rent a room at a library or community centre so Ross could take the motorhome for a service.

I called the local libraries; no joy there.

I emailed the room coordinators at the libraries; no joy here either.

I was getting fairly desperate to be able to do my work and present my online training.

I needed a room.

On a return visit from the amenities block Ross mentioned that he had walked past a room near the lounge area in the camp kitchen.

“Fantastic! I wonder if I can hire the room?”, I said to Ross.

Ross went to the reception area to ask.

“There’s normally a fee to use the room”, said the Receptionist.

“We’re happy to pay”, answered Ross.

The Receptionist gave Ross the key and said he didn’t have to pay.

Over the next few days he went back to borrow the key so I could continue to use the room.

He came back after one visit and said the Receptionist was scowling at him when he asked for the key.

After a few hours of using the room, I locked up and took the key back.

I mentioned how grateful I was to be able to use the room.

The Receptionist scowled again.

“It’s a bit tricky”, she said.

“What do you mean by tricky?” I asked.

“Well we’re supposed to charge for the hire of the room”, she said.

“I’m happy to pay”, I answered.

“We can’t keep giving you the key and having to spend time cleaning the room and you’re using the electricity”.

Well this was news to me. I’d be using electricity whether I was in my motorhome or the room, so that didn’t make sense and as for the room needing to be cleaned, I didn’t use anything except a chair and table and I put those back when I finished.

“But I’m happy to pay” I repeated.

“I appreciate being able to use the room.”

“It was built for the kids to do activities”, she informed me. There’s supposed to be a hire fee payable if we’re not using it.”

By this time I was getting annoyed.

How many times did Ross and I have to say “we’re happy to pay”?

Clearly, hiring the room and paying for it wasn’t part of her value set.

Not once did we ask for the room without offering to pay.

“I’ll have to talk to the manager”, she said.

I would have been happy for her to talk to the manager, because “I was happy to pay”.

In the end, I felt so uncomfortable going over to ask for the key that I gave up.

I could have just as easily sat outside in the kitchen camp area and sat at a table and chair and used the electricity – the same electricity I would have plugged into in my motorhome.

Wow! I’m constantly amazed at how we act according to our values and how our values impact on other people.

How about you? What values are you demonstrating to others and how might they be affecting others?

And, just for the record, if I need a room and I often do, “I’m happy to pay”.


Regards Shirley

P.S. Save the Date: It’s next Friday, 17th September and I’m looking for a room to hire. I am happy to pay so I can provide our next free online training session. We’ll be going deeper with last month’s topic How Your Personality Affects How Well You Lead. Register now for 11:00am Sydney time. There’s always something more you can learn. https://shirleydalton.convertri.com/how-your-personality-affects-how-well-you-lead

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.       

Try Something New (WT584)

Try Something New (WT584)

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by Shirley Dalton | 3 Sep, 2021 | Blog, Mindset

WT 584 Try something new

Last week we had a bit of fun talking about bathroom etiquette.

This week I want to follow on with another bathroom story, although there is a bigger message within.

Although we have bathroom facilities in our motorhome, Ross and I choose to use the park amenities in most of the places we stay.

This particular week, “my” shower cubicle was taken when I went to have a shower.

“What to do?”

I could choose one that had little pressure or try out the one with the big shower head. The rain heads which I don’t particularly like.

I wanted the pressure of the hot water on my back so I went for the rain head and to my surprise it was soft with plenty of water and it didn’t flow over my head and down across my face.

How often do we go for the same thing, time after time after time?

What’s interesting to me is that on the first visit to any bathroom, every shower option is new. I don’t know what the showers are like until I have one.

When I find one I like, that’s the one I stick to, even though there might be something better in the very next cubicle.

How about you?

Do you like to try new things and meet new people or do you prefer to stick with what you know?

I’ve set myself a challenge now to test out all the showers when we arrive at different parks, (well for the number of nights we are there). That’s the only way I will know for sure which is the best one for me.

Try something new. You just might enjoy it.

Regards Shirley

P.S. Save the Date: Friday 17th September 2021, for our next free online training. We’ll be going deeper with last month’s topic How Your Personality Affects How Well You Lead. Register now for 11:00am Sydney time. There’s always something more you can learn. https://shirleydalton.convertri.com/how-your-personality-affects-how-well-you-lead

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

Do You Know the Rules? (WT583)

Do You Know the Rules? (WT583)

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by Shirley Dalton | 27 Aug, 2021 | Blog, Mindset

WT 583 Do you know the rules?

With Covid hanging around I thought I’d make this week’s thought a bit lighter.

You know we’ve been travelling and living in the motorhome for the past two and a half years.

What you may not know is that Ross and I have rules or rather etiquette for the shared bathrooms we’ve used in our travels.

The problem is, I don’t think anyone else knows the rules or the etiquette.

In fact, I’m keen to hear if you know the rules.

In most amenities blocks in the caravan parks there are a number of showers and toilets.

According to Ross and I, if you need to go to the toilet and one of the toilets is already taken, the polite thing to do is to leave a toilet between you and take the next one.

That’s our rule. That’s how we’d like things to be.

Unfortunately, not all travellers seem to know this rule.

Just this week I had occasion to go to the bathroom. There were 5 toilets in the ladies block. One of the toilets on the end was occupied, so I did the polite thing and left a vacant toilet in between.

I heard the outside door open. I expected the lady to follow suit and leave a vacant toilet between her and I.

And did she?

No, she did not.

She broke the rules (amongst other things).

She chose the toilet in between my toilet and the lady on the end. That meant there were three occupied toilets together and 2 vacant on the end.

I was not happy. That is not toilet etiquette, according to me.

It’s a bit like having a “shout” at the bar. There are rules and etiquette that you somehow must learn.

Nobody quite teaches you, but you learn never the less.

It’s the same with showers, especially the ones where the walls don’t meet the floor or worse, there is a shared drain where everyone else’s waste water passes by, to the drain at the end of the line. (Tip: Avoid that shower and head upstream.)

So, do you know the rules?

If you do, do you follow them or are you a rule breaker?

And if you’ve got any tips on sharing the rules and the etiquette with others I’d love to know.

Regards Shirley

P.S. Save the Date: Friday 17th September for our next free online training. We’ll be going deeper with last month’s topic How Your Personality Affects How Well You Lead. Register now for 11:00am Sydney time. There’s always something more you can learn. https://shirleydalton.convertri.com/how-your-personality-affects-how-well-you-lead

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.       

You Find What You Look For (WT582)

You Find What You Look For (WT582)

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by Shirley Dalton | 20 Aug, 2021 | Blog, Mindset

WT 582 You find what you look for

Years ago I read a book by Wayne Dyer called “You’ll See It When You Believe It”.

This fascinated me because it was totally opposite to what most people say and that is “I’ll believe it when I see it”.

Dyer was talking about our beliefs and how they colour what we look for. They are the lens through which we see the world.

Over the past few weeks so many of my clients have shown up with stories that demonstrate this concept.

David Bayer explains our brains are a goal achieving machine. If you ask your brain something, it simply must find you an answer.

Indeed, one of my very great mentors Lou Heckler taught me this concept many years ago – “Your brain must answer any question you ask it”.

These days, if I have a dilemma I need to ponder, I often hand it over to the “Committee of Sleep” and let them deal with it overnight. They then give me the answer the following morning.

The reason we’re talking about this is because the majority of us look for the negative and ask crappy questions.

For example, “Why does this <insert negative thing> always happen to me?” “How come there are no decent men or women out there?”

Your brain must find you an answer.

You find what you look for.

Let’s use this information to create good things. Let’s expect the best and get it.

Let’s ask better questions or “Afformations” as Noah St John calls them.

“How come I’m so wealthy?” “How come I have such great relationships?” “Why do I love my work so much?”

You find what you look for, or rather your brain does, so look for the good things you want.

Regards Shirley

P.S. Today’s the day: Friday 20th August 2021 for our next free online training. We’ll be doing a LIVE re-run of How Your Personality Affects How Well You Lead. Register now for 11:00am Sydney time. There’s always something more you can learn. https://shirleydalton.convertri.com/how-your-personality-affects-how-well-you-lead

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.       

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