It’s Just Data (WT619)

It’s Just Data (WT619)

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by Shirley Dalton | 6 May, 2022 | Blog, Mindset

WT 619 It's just data

When things happen, do you get emotional?

I do!

Although these days I can usually calm myself down fairly quickly and coach myself out of a full blown tizzy or an unthoughtful reaction.

I thought it might be a useful discussion this week.

When I worked for Kip McGrath Education Centres I really appreciated working with Storm McGrath because he had the ability to be detached.

If something happened (and keep in mind, this was 20 odd years ago), and I got emotional, I knew my logic went out the window.  You may know the saying, “When emotion is high, intelligence is low”.

Well fortunately for me, Storm was always logical and calm. I would go to him for counsel and he would listen, process the information and then share a logical considered response with me which I was able to action. In what we call the Primal state, I would never have been able to come up with the solution.

This week, one of my colleagues, Mark Kentwell, used a phrase which explained how Storm had been able to process my reaction all those years ago.

According to Mark, “It’s just data”.

When we receive feedback, it’s just data. It’s only information.

There is no need to get plugged into the information. That’s all it is.

As David Bayer says, “There is no suffering in the experience. It’s just an experience. The suffering comes from the meaning we give it.”

So, if you’ve found yourself suffering recently; becoming emotional when you needn’t be or losing it when you really need to keep it together, keep in mind Mark’s mantra, “It’s just data”.

Give it a go.

See if it makes a difference and helps you to get out of the Primal and into the Powerful state more quickly.

And if you’ve received some feedback that has caused you to react, remember, it’s just data. It’s only information. You can decide how you deal with it.

P.S. Are you in Newcastle, NSW?  Are you interested to learn How Your Personality Affects How Well You Lead? If so, please join me on Wed 8th June 11:30am for lunch. I’ll be presenting an interactive session at The Lake Macquarie Business Women’s Network. I’d love you to join me.
https://businessgrowthcentre.org.au/networking-and-events/

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

The Happiest People (WT618)

The Happiest People (WT618)

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by Shirley Dalton | 29 Apr, 2022 | Blog, Mindset

WT 618 The Happiest People

You’ve probably heard of Anh Do. He’s a TV presenter, comedian and author.

He wrote a book called “The Happiest Refugee” based on his experience as a Vietnamese refugee.

From what I have seen of him, he is a great role model for someone who is grateful.

His book title was the inspiration for this week’s thought – The Happiest People.

In my experience, the happiest people are those that are grateful.

They are the ones who gush praise and thanks when someone does something for them.

They are the ones who see the job completed and are so happy that it has been done. They are not the ones who see the bits that were missed or the mistakes that were made.

This is relevant both at home and at work.

When I was a young girl and living at home with mum and dad, I would often offer to hang the clothes on the line for mum.

Instead of being grateful and appreciative of the help, mum would stand on the back verandah and correct my technique – same with the ironing.

The end result – she was never happy with what I did and I wasn’t encouraged to want to help.

The happiest people are those that are thankful for the work or the effort and they express their gratitude, which encourages us to want to do more.

So, which category are you? 

Are you grateful for the help and the work that your team or colleagues do? Do you thank them and praise them or do you often find fault with what they do and let them know how they could have done it better or different?

Next time you might be tempted to become a forensic investigator, put away the magnifying glass and look at the big picture.

The happiest people are those that are grateful.

P.S. The Loyal Lieutenant – How The Second-in-Command Brings The CEO’s Vision To Life. Order your copy here, https://shirleydalton.com/books

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

The Value Is In The Offer (WT617)

The Value Is In The Offer (WT617)

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by Shirley Dalton | 22 Apr, 2022 | Blog, Customer Service

WT 617 The value is in the offer

This week’s thought comes as a result of an Easter catch up with a long time friend and business colleague of mine – Libby Cornish.

I don’t recall how the conversation got here, however I think it’s a great point to note, especially if you’re in business or a customer service role or you’re dedicated to your customers.

Libby said, “The value is in the offer, Shirl”.

“What does that mean?” I asked.

Libby explained with a little story, “Years ago when I had my hair salons, I used to send welcome offers to new clients and also birthday offers. When we analysed the results, only about 20% of our clients presented the birthday offer so we decided to discontinue it. I didn’t think much more about it, until one day, one of my long term clients mentioned it. ‘You don’t send the birthday offers anymore’. That’s right. Not many people took advantage of the offer so we didn’t think it was valuable to our clients. ‘I would never take up the offer’, said the client, ‘However, I used to look forward to it because it was the only acknowledgement of my birthday that I got each year’, she continued.  Ouch. You never know the value you are providing Shirl. The value is in the offer.”

I don’t know about you, but this story really resonated with me. Thank you Libby.

We used to send birthday cards to our clients. Not just any birthday cards. These were cards that were handmade by Ross and which included one of Ross’ landscape photos on the front.

Not many people mentioned them, although I did notice a stack of them on people’s bookshelves when I visited offices etc. so we discontinued sending them.

I’m wondering now about the importance of the value those cards provided.

What are you doing in your business for your clients that you are questioning whether it provides value or not?

I guess you could ask your clients or just continue to do it or even start doing something, because the value is in the offer.

And for fun, not that I am really considering it, what would happen if I stopped sending the Weekly Thought because I perceive there is no value?

P.S. The Loyal Lieutenant – How The Second-in-Command Brings The CEO’s Vision To Life. Order your copy here, https://shirleydalton.com/books

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

Almost a Blotched Record (WT616)

Almost a Blotched Record (WT616)

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by Shirley Dalton | 15 Apr, 2022 | Blog, Mindset

WT 616 OMG! Almost a Bloctched Record

It’s Good Friday. I was at the sink washing up, preparing for family to come to lunch.

“OMG! I forgot the Weekly Thought”, I screamed to Ross.

With 10 minutes before our guests arrived, I’m sitting here writing to you because I don’t want to ruin my record of not having missed a week in almost 12 years.

It’s an important goal and commitment of mine – to be consistent.

I’ve been working really long hours the past few weeks and I set another goal that I would finish work last night at 5pm and have 4 days off over Easter.

Well, I finished at 6pm, so an hour later than I planned.

Still, I was determined to set boundaries for myself and not do any work.

I completely forgot that I hadn’t organised the Weekly Thought until just now.

You know that feeling, when you remember, remember someone’s birthday right up until the day and then you forget.

“Doh! How painful is that? How much do you bash yourself up, wishing you had remembered on the day?”

So far, I’m not late and my record is intact because the Thoughts are due each Friday.

Phew!

For me there are a couple of morals to this story.

  1. It’s not too late to go for and meet your goals and commitments.
  2. When you forget, let it go and get on with it.  Carrying negative energy over something you can’t change doesn’t serve anyone.
  3. Set your boundaries and stick to them.

So I wish you a very happy Easter break and I trust you’ll set yourself some boundaries and allow yourself some downtime.

Downtime is important. We need to rest and recharge and the only person who can ensure that happens is yourself.

No need to be guilty.  You do need to take some time for yourself.

Okay – record intact. Guests just arrived.

What will you do next time you almost miss a goal/commitment?

P.S. The Loyal Lieutenant – How The Second-in-Command Brings The CEO’s Vision To Life. Order your copy here, https://shirleydalton.com/books

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

There’s No Need To Point The Finger (WT615)

There’s No Need To Point The Finger (WT615)

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by Shirley Dalton | 8 Apr, 2022 | Blog, Leadership

WT 615 There is no need to point the finger

One of the profiles I use in my coaching and leadership experiences gives us a score between 1 and 10 for what we call “Impression Management”.

Impression Management is the degree to which we want others to see us in a favourable light.

It’s our lie detector.

It shows us whether you’re a people pleaser or not.

The higher the number, the more it matters to you that people like you and/or that you are concerned to do the right thing by others.

The lower the score, the less you care what others think of you and the more critical you are – critical of yourself and others.

When I first completed the profile many years ago, my Impression Management score was as low as you could score. It was one out of ten.

I didn’t know how difficult it was to be around me, criticising the work or finding fault in things people did or didn’t do, until a coach of mine blurted it out one day. “You’re just so damn hard” she said, “It’s difficult to be around when you always find fault in things”. 

Ouch and true.

From that moment of transformation I did my best to work on being less critical and more grateful for the effort and support people gave. I still have an eye for detail, however I have learned to keep my mouth shut and say “Thank you”.

For the record, I increased my score from one to three and still working on it.

Why are we talking about this? Because this past week I’ve cringed as I’ve observed others behaving like I used to.

There’s no need to point the finger.

We don’t make ourselves bigger by making someone else smaller.

Stop looking for the mistakes that others make.

We all make plenty of mistakes ourselves.

Be grateful for the contribution others are making. They’re not all as smart and efficient as you.

Rant over!

Have a great week.

P.S. The Loyal Lieutenant – How The Second-in-Command Brings The CEO’s Vision To Life. Order your copy here, https://shirleydalton.com/books

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

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