I Can Hear You (WT558)

I Can Hear You (WT558)


WT 558 I Can Hear You

When you’re having a conversation with people, do you listen to what they are saying or are you waiting to speak?

In our Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience we dedicate an entire day to developing our listening skills. It’s amazing to me how most people’s listening skills are so poor.

The first micro-skill we teach for listening is to be quiet; to not interrupt and to show attending behaviours of nodding your head etc. to show that you are actually hearing and listening to what the other is saying.

This skill is so important because it enables you to really understand what the other is saying and that is my point for today.

When I listen to you, I can hear your beliefs; your limiting beliefs and your empowering beliefs.

When I hear your beliefs, I can predict the results or lack of, that you will achieve.

I find this fascinating. People always tell you what’s going on for them, if you listen.

In other words, our beliefs are like biases that we have. We make a decision about something then we look for the evidence to prove ourselves right.

Here’s a couple of limiting beliefs, see if you can relate to any of them:

  1. Nobody at work listens to what I have to say
  2. I’ll never get a pay rise.

With these limiting beliefs I can predict your results:

  1. You won’t speak up and therefore others won’t get to hear what you have to say.
  2. You won’t do what’s required in order to get the pay rise, and therefore won’t be offered more money.

I can hear you. I listen to what you say and I can predict your results. By the same token, I can look at your results and predict your beliefs and my own.

How about you? Are you really listening to what others are telling you? Do you know what they’re thinking or what they believe? Often they aren’t even aware of their beliefs. Are you?

Let Me Finish (WT541)

Let Me Finish (WT541)


Let me finish WT 541

This week we’ve been driving back up the coast of New South Wales and celebrating having the borders reopen.

As I was driving, I received a call from a representative of a hotel group who was keen to reinstate my membership.

(Hands free), I complimented him on his opening script. It was very well crafted, even though I knew what was coming.

“Hear me out”, he said. “I want to let you know about all the new properties and brands we have added to our group.”

He then went on to list a heap of hotel chains that I have no interest in or intention of staying at. When I politely told him I was travelling and working my way round Australia in a motorhome, he then changed tack and started to tell me all about the restaurants I could visit.

He asked me where I was right now. I told him.

He then proceeded to tell me how much I could benefit from the offers in Sydney.

I told him I wasn’t interested in going to Sydney and staying in a hotel.

Then he attacked. “You stayed at x hotel on x date. Isn’t that right?”

It was right. However, I also enlightened him on the reason. We stayed there because we had to use up a free night’s accommodation before the membership expired, not because we particularly wanted to go to Sydney.

“Hear me out”, he repeated, with a slightly raised voice.

“No thank you”, I said. “I have no interest in continuing the conversation.”

He continued to talk over the top of me, demanding that I hear him out.

By this stage I was out of patience. This was not the way to get me to renew my membership.

“I’ve been polite. I’ve told you my circumstances and I have no interest in continuing the conversation. I’m hanging up now.”

He was still talking and doing his best to engage and convince me when I hung up.

Wow! There’s a Weekly Thought. Let your customers finish what they are saying. You might have a better chance of engaging them if you listen to what they say and ask questions relating to their circumstances, rather than talking over the top of them and making them wrong.

And, this message isn’t just for customer service. It applies EVERY TIME you are engaged in a conversation with another. Let them finish.

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Understand the “No” (WT539)

Understand the “No” (WT539)


If you’re like me, I’m guessing you don’t like to hear the word “No” when you make a request.

In fact, I don’t know too many people who do, unless of course, they have read “Go For No” by Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz, but that’s a whole other Weekly Thought.

Today, I want to focus on understanding what’s behind the “No”.

Salespeople are taught to keep questioning until they understand the reason for the “No” and then, if they can, help the prospective customer overcome their objection, to make the sale.

I’m intrigued that we don’t do this with our employees.

For most of us, we simply get frustrated and do our best to either convince our employees or worse, order them to do what we want.

This week I had the opportunity to observe an employee’s reaction to a request to hire more people.


“Why not?”

“If we do, they won’t stay.”

“Why won’t they stay?”

“They want a permanent position.”

The penny dropped for me when I heard this. The employer was offering to hire a “casual” employee. I knew that the employer wasn’t attached to having a “casual” employee, rather they were looking to find the best solution to ensure that clients were being looked after without overworking or overwhelming the current employees.

“What if we offered permanent part-time, instead of casual?”

Now we got an entirely different response.

Name, I can’t stress enough how important it is to listen, really listen to understand what people are telling you.

The misunderstanding here, like most misunderstandings, occurred because we hold a different perception.

Your job this week is to understand the “No”.

What’s really behind the “No”?

I encourage you to put your “Patient Hat” on (patient as in giving someone time, not seeing a doctor – just so we’re clear) and take the time to really listen and understand the “No”.

You might be surprised at how quickly you get to a “Yes”.

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