2022 What A Year (WT653)

2022 What A Year (WT653)


WT 653 What a year

If you’re feeling like me, and I’ve spoken to a lot of people who are feeling the same, 2022 was a big big year.

Many of us were feeling totally exhausted coming up to the Christmas break.

I’ve had a few days off now and feeling less exhausted, although still sleeping in and looking for a nanna nap in the middle of the day.

How about you?

One of the things I’ve learned over the years is to listen to my body. In days gone past I would have pushed and pushed and pushed and kept going until my body would say “Enough!” and send me to bed for rest with a wicked cold or flu or a bad back; just enough to be annoying and stop me working.

As recently as a week or two ago, Ross challenged me with his comment, “You’re a workaholic!”.


Like I mentioned though, I am learning to listen to my body and to not push push push (as much).

Mentor, David Bayer talks about the paradox of overwhelm and one way to let go of that feeling is to recognise that everything that needs to get done in a day, gets done. That which doesn’t need to get done, doesn’t get done.

I’ve adopted this mantra and it helps.

I get done what needs to be done and allow myself to say “tomorrow” for the things that don’t need to be done that day.

Perhaps you too could adopt this mantra if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed.

Back to how I started this week’s thought with the feelings of exhaustion. If you look back at the past 3 years, starting January 2020, January 2021, January 2022 up to now, we’ve been dealing with what management consultants call “V.U.C.A.” (Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity and Ambiguity).

According to  Nate Bennett and G. James Lemoine in Harvard Business Review, the characteristics of Volatility include the challenge being unexpected or unstable and of unknown duration (think Covid). Uncertainty – despite a lack of other information, an event’s basic cause and effect are known (e.g Covid). Complexity describes a situation that has many variables and interconnected parts. (Again Covid). Ambiguity – no precedents exist. You face “unknown unknowns” (you guessed it. Covid.)

The past 3 years have provided plenty of V.U.C.A. However, according to Bennett and Lemoine, V.U.C.A. can be misleading, so they suggest that strategy and planning can help to prepare for a V.U.C.A. world.

What will 2023 bring for you? Will you end up exhausted again because you don’t listen to your body, you continue to live in overwhelm and you fail to plan and develop a strategy for predicting and coping with V.U.C.A. or will change your responses throughout the year, anticipate V.U.C.A. and end 2023 feeling full of energy and vitality?

Wishing you a fabulous 2023. May it bring you all that you desire.

P.S. EARLY BIRD DISCOUNT for our February 2023 Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience ends tomorrow.  Save yourself up to $1500. If you’re thinking about enrolling, do it before the 31st December, 2022. Click the link for more information https://shirleydalton.com/leading-yourself-leading-others-may2020/

Overwhelm is a State of Mind (WT620)

Overwhelm is a State of Mind (WT620)


WT 620 Overwhelm is a state of mind

This week I’ve been hearing myself and many others describe their feelings of overwhelm.

“I can’t get it all done.”

“There’s not enough time.”

“There’s too much to do.”

And my favourite, “I’ve got a To Do List as long as a toilet roll”.

It’s time to reveal the truth about overwhelm. Overwhelm is a state of mind.

It describes how we are allowing ourselves to feel.

Thanks to David Bayer, I discovered the unintelligent thinking around overwhelm.

When we’re feeling overwhelmed, we are in what Bayer calls, the “Primal State” where we experience stress, anxiety, indecision and procrastination.

Think about it. When was the last time you felt overwhelmed and in that state, how productive or creative were you?

So how do we get out of overwhelm?

Firstly, by recognising that it is a state of mind and that we can easily change our state.

The number of tasks on your list and the available time isn’t going to change until you change your state of mind.

My best mantra when I find myself in this state is to quote Bayer, “What’s really true is that which didn’t get done yesterday, didn’t need to get done and how do I know that, because it didn’t get done.”

If you take notice, you’ll find the things you need to get done, do get done. In my experience, I somehow find the time or reprioritise if it absolutely has to be done. I expect you are the same.

So let’s drop this word from our vocabulary.

Let’s take charge of our state of mind.

Let’s reconnect with that state of being where we are creative problem solvers and open to allowing the universe to correspond with us.

Take action on the things that must be done.

Choose to live in ease and flow. Relax. You’ll be far more productive. You don’t have to get it all done today. You can still succeed.

Overwhelm is a state of mind.

Trust that if you stay committed to action, while living in what Bayer calls the “Powerful State” (of rest, relaxation and ease), everything you desire will come to you in due time.

Let go of overwhelm. It’s just a state of mind.

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Put It In An Envelope (WT589)

Put It In An Envelope (WT589)


WT 589 Put it in an envelope

It was 4:30pm and we were on our way to the next location.

We were about 45 minutes away.

We had planned to pick up a script from the local doctors on our way.

I thought they closed at 5:00pm but thought I’d ring and see if I might be able to collect it.

“Could I please check what time you finish please?” I asked.

“5:00pm”, said the receptionist.

“I have to pick up a script and we’ve been travelling and I don’t think I’ll get there by 5:00pm”, I shared.

“You can pick it up tomorrow”, she said.

Oh well. It was worth an ask. I was no worse off.

That night we decided to get up early the next day and head to our next location, en-route to Kangaroo Island via ferry.

“I won’t be able to pick up the script”, I said to Ross.

“Oh well, it’s not urgent. It can wait for another week or so”, I thought to myself.

As I started to pack up, the thought struck me that I could have asked the receptionist to put it in an envelope and leave it at the pharmacy next door.

The pharmacy and surgery were joined via a connecting door internally.

“You know there’s always a solution to a problem, if you’re looking for one”, I said to Ross.

“I could have asked them last night.”

Our brains are goal achieving machines and they must find you an answer.

But and the but is, you need to be in the right state of being to be open to creative solutions.

Clearly, I was not in that state when I spoke to the receptionist.

I’ve mentioned it before that our goal each day is to be in, what David Bayer calls “The Powerful State” every day, for as long as we can.

It’s from this state of being, that our creativity and problem solving ability flows. It’s from this state of being that magic happens. It’s from this state of being that we come up with different thoughts and ideas.

I really wished I had been in this state the night before and asked the receptionist if she could put it in an envelope. If so, it would have saved me a whole lot of time and effort.

What state are you in right now?

If you’re in the state of anxiety, anger, frustration or sadness, you’re in the Primal State. This is not a good state to be. It’s not helpful for solving problems.

Do what you can to get back into the Powerful State. Simply becoming aware of the fact that you’re in Primal can help change it.

If that doesn’t do the trick, go and do something that makes you feel happy or that you enjoy. 

Remember, everything you want comes from the Powerful State.

P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

You Find What You Look For (WT582)

You Find What You Look For (WT582)


WT 582 You find what you look for

Years ago I read a book by Wayne Dyer called “You’ll See It When You Believe It”.

This fascinated me because it was totally opposite to what most people say and that is “I’ll believe it when I see it”.

Dyer was talking about our beliefs and how they colour what we look for. They are the lens through which we see the world.

Over the past few weeks so many of my clients have shown up with stories that demonstrate this concept.

David Bayer explains our brains are a goal achieving machine. If you ask your brain something, it simply must find you an answer.

Indeed, one of my very great mentors Lou Heckler taught me this concept many years ago – “Your brain must answer any question you ask it”.

These days, if I have a dilemma I need to ponder, I often hand it over to the “Committee of Sleep” and let them deal with it overnight. They then give me the answer the following morning.

The reason we’re talking about this is because the majority of us look for the negative and ask crappy questions.

For example, “Why does this <insert negative thing> always happen to me?” “How come there are no decent men or women out there?”

Your brain must find you an answer.

You find what you look for.

Let’s use this information to create good things. Let’s expect the best and get it.

Let’s ask better questions or “Afformations” as Noah St John calls them.

“How come I’m so wealthy?” “How come I have such great relationships?” “Why do I love my work so much?”

You find what you look for, or rather your brain does, so look for the good things you want.

Regards Shirley

P.S. Today’s the day: Friday 20th August 2021 for our next free online training. We’ll be doing a LIVE re-run of How Your Personality Affects How Well You Lead. Register now for 11:00am Sydney time. There’s always something more you can learn. https://shirleydalton.convertri.com/how-your-personality-affects-how-well-you-lead

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.       

Phenomenal Coaching (WT562)

Phenomenal Coaching (WT562)


WT 562 Phenomenal Coaching

One of my clients was sharing a coaching experience they had recently. It unnerved me a little because if she was talking about them, it’s most likely only a matter of time before she starts talking about me.

On a tangent here, I remember confronting a coaching client about the same thing. He was complaining about all of his suppliers. After he stopped ranting, I looked him in the eye and said “I’m just wondering when it will be my turn.”

“Your turn for what?” he asked.

“My turn for you to p..s all over me”, I answered and continued, “You’ve just sat there for 20 minutes and told me all the things your suppliers have done wrong and haven’t taken responsibility for any part of it, so I can only imagine that you’ll be saying something about my work at some stage.”

Not exactly what he was expecting to hear and it was true and he needed to hear it. He didn’t continue coaching after his initial commitment was completed. No real surprises there.

Back to this week’s thought.

So my client was talking about a previous coaching experience.

“The coach kept telling me what to do. That doesn’t work for me. Giving me strategies doesn’t work. All that does is make the coach feel good and superior because they think they have solved my problem, when they haven’t.”

“Did you speak up?” I asked.

“No, because it’s no use arguing with them, because they’ve decided what you need and will argue the solution. It’s easier to say nothing and do what I want anyway.”

“And you’re paying for the coaching” I stated, yet it was really a question.

Hearing this reminded me of what David Bayer calls “Ordinary Coaching” and I’m sad to say, I used to be guilty of that myself.

Until I learned about what he calls “Phenomenal Coaching”.

In Phenomenal Coaching we invite what David calls The Phenomenon into the conversation. The Phenomenon is Infinite Intelligence. David sees it like an old friend.

It’s also the part of us that knows what we want and how to solve our problems. In my Lifeline Telephone Counsellor’s training, I learned that the person with the problem is the best person to solve the problem because they know all the reasons why your solutions won’t work. They may also have a different set of beliefs and without the belief being in alignment with the strategy the coach or the counsellor is giving them, it simply won’t work.

Stop making yourself feel good by solving others’ problems.

Listen to them, ask them questions and invite The Phenomenon to help them find the answers that are already inside of them. That’s Phenomenal Coaching!

Regards Shirley

P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

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