Be Assertive – Ask For What You Want (WT667)

Be Assertive – Ask For What You Want (WT667)


WT 667 Be assertive, ask for what you want

The past few weeks I’ve been working with my editor, Kellie O’Brien, to write my second and third books on Knowing Yourself, Knowing Others and Developing Communication Skills to help you become a better leader.

I was explaining some of the activities in the Leading Yourself and Leading Others experience to Kellie as we considered what to include and not include.

“It’s like buying a record and wanting to go see the artist in concert”, I explained.

I read Jack Canfield’s book, “The Success Principles – How to Get From Where You Are Now To Where You Want To Be” and couldn’t wait to sign up to attend his “Breakthrough to Success” event the following year because I wanted to experience the activities for myself, rather than read about them.

So this week I thought I would share one activity because it’s so relevant to ALL of us.

Be Assertive – Ask For What You Want.

I first experienced this myself when I was training to become a Lifeline Telephone Counsellor.

“Divide yourselves into pairs”, instructed the facilitator.

“Decide that the other person has something you want. It could be a watch, pendant, hat, blouse, phone, sunglasses. It doesn’t matter. Simply decide on something you want from them.”

“I’ll give you 5 minutes to see if you can get it from them, WITHOUT PHYSICALLY TAKING IT.”

Five minutes elapsed.

“Who managed to get what they wanted?” asked the facilitator.

A few hands went up, most didn’t.

“What happened?” she asked.

“Who simply asked for what they wanted?” she continued.

Ouch. I didn’t manage to get what I wanted but even more distressing for me at the time was the realisation about the way I went about attempting to get it. 

I praised. I manipulated. I bullied. I threatened. I offered to trade. In fact, I did everything except simply ask for what I want.

This is a very simple, yet powerful exercise.

The majority of us feel uncomfortable asking for what we want and we resort to manipulative and other tactics.

These days I am much more assertive and I’ve learned to ask for what I want.

Another concept I learned from Lisa Sasevich is, “Leaders go first”.

Let me go first.

I’d like to have more people in my next Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience. The early bird discount finishes on Monday, saving participants $1,000.

I’d like to be able to help more people. We have a few places left in this intimate group setting. Here’s my ask:

I’m very grateful if you could please let your network know about the Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience by sharing the link in the P.S. If someone you share it with enrols for the May experience, starting 10th May, I will extend the Early Bird Discount for them until the 17th April.

Thank you so much for considering my ask.

Now your turn, be assertive – choose something you want and go ask for it.

You’ve got a 50/50 chance of getting it and if you don’t ask, you’ve got 100% chance of not getting it.

You don’t need to manipulate, bully, threaten or sweet talk. Simply be assertive and ask for what you want.

P.S. Our next Leading Yourself and Leading Others experience starts Wednesday 10th May in Newcastle. For more info go to

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to

The Goldilocks Zone (WT665)

The Goldilocks Zone (WT665)


WT 665 The Goldilocks Zone

I love it when my peeps embody what they have learned.

By embody, I mean they live it; they act it as opposed to having what we call “propositional” knowledge, where we think we “know” something but aren’t yet doing it. They actually do something with the knowledge.

For the sake of privacy, we’ll use the names Jim and Jane.

Jim and Jane work together. Both are leaders and managers.

Jim is an Advisor personality. Jim is a great risk mitigator because he considers all the information and ramifications of different scenarios.

He needs to research and think about things before making a decision.

The root meaning of decide is to “cut off all options”. It’s not until we move or take action that we have actually decided, so Jim can be a little slow to act.

Jane on the other hand is right on the line between Driver and Coach personality. In the REACH profiling system, Drivers and Coaches are on the action side of the matrix.

Jane wants action. “Come on, let’s go. What’s the hold up?”

Their basic differences in personality, which remember, is simply a habit of how we think, feel and act, can cause frustration between them.

One pushes, one pushes back.

Here’s the gold – pardon the pun.

Jim, being aware of his personality style sought Jane’s assistance to help keep him accountable and get into action.

Jim calls it “The Goldilocks Zone”. I love it. He said, “Working together with Jane should produce the sweet spot, in other words the happy medium between Jane pushing too much and me not taking action quick enough.”

Oh, music to my ears.

Someone who gets it.

Someone who embraces the learning.

Someone who can see how different personalities can actually work together for greater results.

We call this “synergy”, where the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

Thank you Jim, for sharing this insight.

Now it’s your turn.

What’s your personality type?

What are the personality types that press your buttons and how can you find a way to use the differences to help you achieve better results?

Let me know. I’d love to see how you are embodying the knowledge you have.

P.S. Our next Loyal Lieutenant Masterclass Series starts next week, Thursday 30th March 9:30am-11:00am. For more information or to enrol go to

P.P.S. Our next Leading Yourself and Leading Others experience starts Wednesday 10th May in Newcastle. Early Bird Discount ends 10th April, saving $1000. If you’re looking for leadership skills and personal growth and development, then this is the experience for you. It’s practical. No academic assignments. What you learn will last a lifetime and can be used in all situations with all people. For more info go to

P.P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to

SD #062 – Reinventing Yourself After Falling Down | Damion Lupo

SD #062 – Reinventing Yourself After Falling Down | Damion Lupo


We all make mistakes but not all of us recover. Today’s guest, Damion Lupo shares how you can reInvent yourself after falling down. He shares how he was able to release the fail, re-imagine and rewire himself from the inside out. Damion shares his process of growing from the mistake, of learning from it and keeping moving so that the fail doesn’t become your identity as a person. Damion candidly shares the fear of what happens when we fall and he fell in a massive way as well as the lessons and wisdom of going through that process and how to leverage those experiences instead of getting scared into paralysis to avoid them.

Pin It on Pinterest