I Don’t Even Know What to Ask (WT534)

I Don’t Even Know What to Ask (WT534)

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by Shirley Dalton | 18 Sep, 2020 | Blog, Mindset

WT534 I Don't Even Know What to Ask

During the week one of my friends rang me out of the blue.

She lives in Queensland and it was lovely to hear from her.

She’s normally jetsetting around the globe running events, which have all been put on hold, of course, until we can travel again.

“Shirley, it’s the school holidays in a few weeks and we just need to get away, so I’m looking at hiring a motorhome”, she said.

“Wonderful! Where are you planning to go?”

“We want to go to Airlie Beach and up and down the coast. The thing is I’ve never done this before so I thought I would ask you for some advice. I don’t even know what to ask”, Sandra replied.

I’m not going to bore you with the details of the conversation and the questions she didn’t have or the advice we gave. That’s not the point of the thought.

The point is, I am always so impressed with Sandra’s openness to ask for help. She is a very smart woman and understands the power of having people in her network.

She doesn’t have any limiting beliefs about having to do it all herself. She doesn’t have any limiting beliefs about asking questions or what people might think of her when she does ask. She simply calls and asks.

How about you?

Do you understand the power of your network?

Are you open to asking for help, even when you don’t know what you don’t know?

More importantly, do you take the advice and act on it?

In fact, I had another conversation with a colleague today who also mentioned how supported she felt these past few weeks, as she realised the power of her network and the willingness of the people in her network to help her as she and her family navigated the purchase of a house in a different state to her home state.

When you’re doing something new or going somewhere you’ve never been before, it’s okay to ask for help and advice. This is something that Ross and I have learned over the past 18 months as we’ve travelled around.

We’d never driven or camped in a motorhome before. Heck, we left the tap fittings on the tap at the first caravan park we stayed at and didn’t realise until we got to Canberra and had no pipe fittings. Luckily for us, the chap in the van next to us had a spare and loaned us one until we purchased one and a spare the following day.

It’s okay to ask, even when you don’t know what to ask. Go ahead and ask anyway. You might be surprised at how much joy your network actually gets from helping you.

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Stop Looking For The Wrong Evidence (WT532)

Stop Looking For The Wrong Evidence (WT532)

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by Shirley Dalton | 4 Sep, 2020 | Blog, Mindset

stop looking for the wrong evidence

You know that your brain is a goal achieving machine. Right! It’s going to go and find you the answers to the questions you give it. It’s also going to go and find you the evidence for whatever it is you are focusing on.

Stop looking for the wrong evidence.

Here’s what I mean:

Say you decide that your work colleague or your partner or your friend or a relative doesn’t like you anymore. You decide that they are upset with you for something that you did or didn’t do. They haven’t said anything to you. (Of course they wouldn’t, nobody likes confrontation.) Your brain starts looking for evidence to back up what you’ve decided. This is how the brain works.

I’m writing about it this week because so many of my legends (clients) and colleagues have been telling me about their woes and sharing with me all the evidence they have backed up to prove they are right.

Stop looking for the wrong evidence.

You get what you focus on, so focus on what you want; not what you don’t want.

In essence you are creating or manifesting the scenarios. You know you are.

Stop looking for the wrong evidence.

Instead start looking for the evidence for the things that you want and are grateful for. This will ensure you get more of that.

And if there really is a problem between you and someone else, go and talk to them about it.

Often times I’ve accused Ross of being in a mood or being cranky with me because I’ve interpreted his facial expression or manner and decided how he’s feeling and what’s going on. When I do confront him he gives it straight back to me with a “That’s your xxit. Deal with it.”

“Ouch!” He is right though. I’m reacting to the story I’ve told myself and then looking for evidence to back it up.

Have I made myself clear for this week?

Stop looking for the wrong evidence.

Go look for the evidence for what you want. It’s there. You’ve just been filtering it out.

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Hi Ho It’s Off to Work We Go (WT531)

Hi Ho It’s Off to Work We Go (WT531)

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by Shirley Dalton | 28 Aug, 2020 | Blog, Mindset

off to work we go

It’s been miserable in Tasmania the past few days. The weather has been wild. Lots of wind and rain and snow in the mountain areas.

“So what?” you might think.

Well it doesn’t stop the penguins, plovers or pademelons from their daily routine.

I’ve been so impressed watching the wildlife as we travel around. It doesn’t matter what the weather conditions are, they’re out fishing and foraging for food.

They don’t complain. They don’t wake up and moan, “Oh, I don’t feel like it today. I think I’ll have a doona day. I think I’ll stay in bed. I’ll ring in sick.”

Nope! That doesn’t happen.

Hi Ho it’s off to work they go.

David Bayer often references nature when talking about mindset. He’s on a mission to end all suffering. Now that doesn’t mean physical suffering; he’s talking about our psychological suffering, which of course comes from our thinking.

If you look to nature, there is no (psychological) suffering.

Watching the animals has made me aware of how much I look for excuses to not do things. It’s also made me away of how much my “stinking thinking” causes my misery.

As I sit here getting buffeted from side to side in the motorhome, the wind seems to be getting stronger and stronger. I am grateful. I am grateful I have you to write to and I’m grateful to be inside, out of the weather, even though I now have to go out because the motorbike just blew over and hit the motorhome. OMG!

How about you?

Are you causing yourself misery?

What can you be grateful for?

Next time you find yourself in a less than optimal state, how about you remember the animals. Don’t dwell on your thinking and just get yourself into action.

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It’s the Same Old Same Old (WT529)

It’s the Same Old Same Old (WT529)

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by Shirley Dalton | 14 Aug, 2020 | Blog, Mindset

It’s the Same Old Same Old

Have you ever found yourself saying, “it’s the same old, same old”?

According to Dictionary.Cambridge.org, it’s a phrase that’s “used to say that a situation or someone’s behaviour remains the same, especially when it is boring or annoying: Most people just keep on doing the same old same old every day.” 

Doing the same old same old behaviour concerns me when we apply it to work that we don’t want to be doing and in some cases, work that we “shouldn’t” be doing.

Another of my favourite phrases that is relevant to our discussion this week can be abbreviated to “HABU”.  “HABU” stands for “Highest And Best Use”. Of course, we’re talking about your genius, your skills, your contribution and your time.

As I’ve been working with members in our Leading Yourself and Leading Others membership and fellow travellers on this journey of life, I’ve observed a common theme over the past few weeks.

Many have been lapsing back into old habits. They’ve been seduced back into doing tasks that they don’t want to and isn’t their highest and best use.

How about you, does this apply to you, too?

It’s something I have to watch for myself as well. Making a decision and sticking to the plan tests us all.

The way forward is to look at our beliefs. If our beliefs are not in alignment with the results we want to achieve; we simply won’t achieve them. We can’t. It’s not possible because our beliefs dictate our destiny and they generate our thoughts. 

We might think that we’ve made a decision and are actually taking action, however, we often find that we can sabotage ourselves and not stick to the decision or commit to the discipline of the action and thus find ourselves back doing the same old same old.

For example, you can’t decide to start delegating and then continue to do the tasks yourself. If your beliefs are not in alignment with delegating, you’ll find all sorts of reasons and excuses as to why you must keep doing the tasks. Your vibration will also ensure that you attract people or situations into your life that prevent you from moving forward. 

This is a very serious topic. I want for you, what you want for you. Maybe it’s time to change those beliefs; make some new decisions and start looking for the evidence to support your new decisions. This is Mindset 2.0; stacking the evidence to prune your old neuro pathways and rewire your brain so you can stop doing the same old same old and start doing the things that you say you want to do.

The Power of Intention (WT527)

The Power of Intention (WT527)

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by Shirley Dalton | 31 Jul, 2020 | Blog, Mindset

WT527 The Power of Intention

Over the past few weeks I’ve been playing The Cashflow Game online, from Rich Dad Poor Dad author, Robert Kiyosaki, with a couple of my colleagues.

I’ve really enjoyed playing and have learned so much. I’ve learned lots of lessons about dealing with financial crises, like when you land on the divorce card and lose all your money or you find yourself redundant or the value of your shares gets halved and let’s not even mention the cost of having children when you land on that one.

There are plenty of positive scenarios as well, like when your shares double or you get to sell a condo or house for a big profit or your business brings in lots of extra monthly revenue.

It’s a great game and it’s free. I’ve included a link at the bottom of the thought.

The reason I’m sharing this is to also share a major lesson I learned from one of my game partners and that is, “To be intentional”.

In a couple of the games I was losing big time. I was getting annoyed and wanted to just quit and give up (life lesson number 1). My colleague, who is an Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) master coached me, “Power of intention, Shirley,” she said. 

“What do you mean?” I asked. 

“Have a look at where you are on the board and see how many moves you need to make to land on the opportunity you want.”

I still didn’t understand.

“When you click to roll the dice, be intentional about the number you want to roll.”

“Oh, okay”, and so I did.

In this week’s game, I won twice because I was intentional. I worked out the number I needed to roll on the dice to land on my dream and I was intentional about having enough money to buy it and I did.

I loved the reminder to be intentional. My partner also reminded me, “Be intentional in life. too.” It doesn’t only work in the game. The power of intention can bring you extraordinary results.

It was such a great reminder; such a great lesson. I am so grateful and wanted to share with you.

Here’s the link if you’re interested. You can play by yourself or with others: https://bit.ly/shirleycashflow. Let me know what you learn (about yourself and about managing your finances).

Don’t Give Up Give Over (WT524)

Don’t Give Up Give Over (WT524)

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by Shirley Dalton | 10 Jul, 2020 | Blog, Mindset

WT524 Don’t Give Up Give Over

Twenty plus years ago, when Ross and I were in America for a training course, we went to a special spiritual type of shop where I purchased a tiny set of Indian American Oracle cards.

The cards have beautiful artwork of American animals and their Indian totems. One of the cards that often seems to show up for me is a picture of a graceful white swan swimming on calm waters. The words on the card read, “Don’t Give Up, Give Over”.

I love this card because it reminds me to give up the fight; to let go of the stress; in other words to surrender, and the past few weeks that’s exactly what I’ve done.

I was talking to a colleague of mine who has developed some great document management software, so you might think he is quite analytical. During the conversation, I expressed how I had to surrender to the Universe.

“That’s really interesting that you use the words Universe and surrender, Shirley”, he said.

“Why is that?” I asked.

“I’ve just finished reading a book by Michael Singer. He’s a billionaire and the book is called ‘The Surrender Experiment; My Journey into Life’s Perfection’.”

I was hooked immediately. It turns out that Singer also wrote “The Untethered Soul” and whilst I haven’t started to read his book yet, my colleague was telling me that Singer wanted to be a hippy and live in the woods but so many people kept asking him for his expertise in IT. So he started a company that has grown to become one of the biggest in America – all because he surrendered.

As I heard the story, I wondered about my own journey. Every time I aim to move away from the systems work I’ve done with clients for the past 14+ years, the Universe sends me another project. Rather than fighting it, I surrender!

I’ve now found a way to incorporate the parts of the systems work that I do like into my offering and delegate the parts I don’t. I’ve renamed my success path to “The Blueprint for Business Freedom” because ultimately that’s what my clients get. They get the freedom because we focus on the 3 P’s – People, Processes and Possibility. This encompasses all of my passions.

So my message to you today is, “Don’t Give Up, Give Over”. What is it that you are resisting? I encourage you to surrender and see what the Universe has in store for you. I’ll bet it’s even better than you can imagine.

Let me know. I’d love to hear your journey and story.

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