Information or Transformation (WT451)

Information or Transformation (WT451)

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by Shirley Dalton | 15 Feb, 2019 | Blog, Business

WT 451 Information or Transformation

This week I contracted to another training company to deliver a course on Business Etiquette. 

The course was written by the training company and was to be delivered to government employees. 

It was a fantastic opportunity for me because it helped me to understand that my calling in life, my passion, is to help those who want transformation, not simply information. 

My leadership experience, Leading Yourself and Leading Others, provides numerous opportunities for participants to become more self aware as well as gain skills to improve communication and understand people. 

At times some of the activities can feel confronting and participants don’t always “like” me or the feedback they are exposed to. 

At the end of the experience though, most participants express their gratitude for the transformation. To be clear, transformation in this context is what happens in the gap between where you are now and where you want to be. It’s the process of change and the outcome. 

Transformation is different to information. “Information applies to facts told, read, or communicated that may be unorganized and even unrelated. Knowledge is an organized body of information.” (www.Dictionary.com) 

I can give you information such as The ABC of Business Etiquette: Appearance, Behaviour and Communication, but it’s up to you to do something with that information. 

For me the greatest joy is working with people who want to learn and grow; people who are open and willing to change; people who want the feedback. Remember, you can’t see the label from inside the jar. 

Teaching Business Etiquette using a powerpoint presentation instead of my standard colourful flipcharts was difficult for me. I was also limited in the number of activities I could do and the room was arranged differently to the format I like to use and not all of the participants were excited to be there. 

Doing the training according to someone else’s rules afforded me the opportunity to reflect on what it is I do and how much I love working with those who keen and interested and excited to learn and grow. 

Ah. It feels so good to be so clear about my mission. 

How about you?  Are you clear or do you need to do something else to find out exactly what it is you do and don’t want to do. 

If you’re up for the challenge and want to step up to lead yourself and others, I’ll be holding a second program in Newcastle in April. The early bird price finishes on 21st February. For more information go to https://shirleydalton.com/leading-yourself-leading-others-2019-2.

Is it Lack of Care or Lack of Training (WT450)

Is it Lack of Care or Lack of Training (WT450)

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by Shirley Dalton | 8 Feb, 2019 | Blog, Business

WT500 Make Me Feel Welcome

How we communicate in business and in life determines the results we get.

As leaders, it’s our job to ensure that we train our teams to support them to do their work.

This week I found myself reflecting on some communication I experienced with a property officer. 

As we prepare to move out, ready for our next big adventure in our motorhome, I asked if we needed to do anything to apply for our bond. We had been leasing premises in Newcastle since our return from the USA because we still had a goal of travelling.

I was stunned at the response I received. “No, we will release the bond to you once we are happy with the property.”

Wow! I reacted to this. Am I being too sensitive?  

On another occasion she informed me that I had to ensure that when she came to do the final inspection, that the property had to be brought back to the condition that it was in when we moved in.

“Really. Excuse me.”

I couldn’t believe I was hearing this.

I felt like I was being treated like someone who had trashed the house.

Was it lack of care on her part, or lack of training?

Her communication did nothing to foster a good relationship with me and I certainly wouldn’t recommend that company.

As it turns out, her boss, a director of the company will be conducting the final inspection which will give me the opportunity to provide feedback.

Thinking about your workplace, are you aware of the communication between your people and your customers? Are you confident that the communication follows your policies and procedures? Have you trained your people? What would your customers say about their interaction with your people?

Would they be wondering if it’s lack of care or lack of training?

It’s All in the Asking (WT449)

It’s All in the Asking (WT449)

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by Shirley Dalton | 1 Feb, 2019 | Blog, Mindset

WT 449 It's all in the asking

I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m not the best negotiator when it comes to getting a “good deal”. 

I tend to accept the price that I’ve been given when I want to purchase or sell something. 

I expect and believe that the person I am buying from or selling to, has the same values as me, which tends to make me quite naïve at times. 

At the end of February we will be taking possession of our Motorhome, affectionately named Contessa, to start our journey to live and work around Australia for the next few years. 

This meant we had to say goodbye to Connie, my beloved Lexus E350. 

It was a tearful day for me as I left Connie with her new owner. 

Here’s what I learned: 

I had an amount in my mind that I wanted to get for Connie. 

The offer I received was lower than this, not by much, but still lower.

My experience has also shown me that the first offer you get, whether that be for a car or house, etc. is often the best offer, so I was conflicted about what to do.

I shared the offer with Ross who immediately suggested I ask for more.

I didn’t know how to. I didn’t know the words to use. I didn’t know what to say.

Eventually I crafted an email and asked if we could agree on the revised figure, and if so, I would arrange to deliver Connie. 

To my surprise and delight they agreed.

Wow! It’s all in the asking. 

Lesson number 1 – be okay with asking. 

Lesson number 2 – be mindful of the language you use to ask. 

This little experience has motivated and inspired me and given me confidence. 

I still have a lot to learn and practice and I share this story with you to encourage you, if you need it, to be ok with asking. 

After all, if the answer is “No’, you are no worse off.

You Gotta Name the Baby (WT448)

You Gotta Name the Baby (WT448)

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by Shirley Dalton | 25 Jan, 2019 | Blog, Business

WT 448 You gotta name the baby

Years ago, I remember watching an episode of Jerry Seinfeld. One of his friends had just had a baby and in that strong New York accent she kept nagging at him, “You gotta see the baby”.

In a similar vein, a mentor of mine, Lisa Sasevich used to nag us, “You gotta name the baby”.

What Lisa was referring to was our products and services and this week I found myself encouraging one of my clients to “Name the Baby”. In his case it was a project rather than a product or service.

When you name something, it makes it easy for everyone to be on the same page.

It makes it easy for your team or customers to know what you are talking about.

It makes it easy for people to be able to refer to it and refer it on.

Here are a few examples of some of my products – Leading Yourself and Leading Others, Intuitive Mastermind, People and Process Fundamentals. Now I’m not saying all the names are fantastic, some could be better; the point is they have a name and we can refer to them.

Think about the Police force. They have names for their operations. In some cases these are also code names. 

Whatever it is you are doing, you need to give it a name.

When you name it, it becomes real.

And don’t underestimate the power of a name. If you’re into numerology, you know the power of the numbers and of course all the letters have a corresponding number. Take my name as an example S1, h8, i9, r9, l3, e5, y7. “Shirley” adds up to 42, reduced to 6 (4+2).  Six is all about service. It’s the counsellor. It’s concerned about family and nurturing people. The Affinity Numerology website explains it this way “A number’s meaning can be thought of as the number’s basic tone or vibration”.

Your mission this week is to do an audit of your projects, products and services.  Have you named them? Do people refer to them by name?  If not, you know what to do.

You can also look at the numerology of your name. This can make a huge difference to the tone or vibration of your product, service or project.

Remember, you gotta name the baby.

You Are Allowed to Change (WT447)

You Are Allowed to Change (WT447)

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by Shirley Dalton | 18 Jan, 2019 | Blog, Mindset

WT 447 You are allowed to change

Today I interviewed Susan Hart and Kerrie Hourigan for our TV show. The topic was really interesting, and yet for some it might be considered taboo to talk about.

Susan and Kerrie have a podcast called “The Moon in You” where they talk about two subjects:

  1. The New Moon and the Full Moon Energies together with their associated zodiac signs, and
  1. The Menstrual Cycle, in particular the psychological aspect of the female cycle and how this affects EVERYONE, especially if you live and work with women.

Why am I mentioning this?

I want you to know you are allowed to change what you do.

Susan has owned and run a very successful bookkeeping business for the past 20 years as well as co-founded the Uniting Bookkeepers Association.

If we are not allowed to change, then Susan would be stuck doing that, even though her passion has moved towards educating and empowering women and men about the psychological and hormonal effects of the moon and the menstrual cycle.

Kerrie has also made a transition to become an authority on soul and personality astrology.

If I look at my own career history, I’ve made numerous transitions over the past 40 years and just about to embark on another.  

If you’re struggling with changing what you do, think of it this way. If you wanted to buy a new car or a new house, would you deny yourself, telling yourself that you can only have one house or car in your lifetime?  Of course you wouldn’t.

When asked what they want to do when they leave school, the majority of people don’t know. It’s often not until we experience something that we find out whether we like it or not.

I remember Ross crying to me one night after having been at university all day studying Macro Economics. “I can’t do it. I hate it,” he said. “I read the book and fall asleep but I don’t want to waste the time I’ve invested, not to mention the expense.” 

You can imagine my response. “Just quit”. Ross is a creative. He loves to take photos and is very artistic. It was no surprise to me that economics wasn’t for him.

I am in no position to make anyone stick at something they hate. I left a good government job to go to university for 4 years to become a school teacher, only to teach for 6 months and hate it. I didn’t hate the kids and I loved teaching. The bureaucracy was too stifling for me. It was not the right environment for me.  I still love to teach; I can’t help myself and over the years I have evolved and found my calling.

The same is true for you. If you’re doing something you love. Fantastic. Keep doing that.

If you’re not doing something you love, then listen very carefully, “You are Allowed to Change”. You can go for what you want and if you think about it, the happier you are, the happier everyone around you will be.

It’s the start of a new year. Don’t waste another year doing something you don’t want to do.

You are allowed to change.

We’ll Talk About That Later (WT446)

We’ll Talk About That Later (WT446)

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by Shirley Dalton | 11 Jan, 2019 | Blog, Business

WT 446 We'll talk about that later

It took me a long time to figure out that when I made a request of my mother and her reply was, “We’ll talk about that later,” it was code for “No, that’s not happening. Definitely not.”

Why she couldn’t just say “No”, always intrigued me and then I found out that she wasn’t the only one who used codes.

One of my former boss used to say, “I’ll consider it”.

My friend’s mum says, “I’ll have a little think”.

What does your boss or mother or father or partner say?

Why do we seem to find it so hard to say, “No”?

Gordon Training International answers with the following:

  1. Desire to please. “What will she think of me?”
  1. Fear of hurting someone. “I don’t want to disappoint her.”
  1. Guilt. “How could I turn them down?”
  1. Surprise. “Well, I guess I could do it.”
  1. Deference to authority. “Yes, sir!”
  1. Reciprocation. “She’d do it for me.”
  1. Duty. “I owe it to them.”
  1. Need for power. “If I say ‘No’, they’ll think I can’t handle it.”

I’m curious. How many of the above apply to you?

I’m fascinated by how many of us, me included at times, will shy away from simply saying, “No thank you.”

In fact, when we don’t speak our truth, we are actually lying by omission.

Ouch!

How many of you in sales would much prefer to hear “No”, as quickly as possible, so you can move on and not harass people who aren’t interested in what you have to offer, as well as not waste yours or their time?

In fact, Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz wrote a book, titled “Go for No” to explain why it’s so important (if counter intuitive) to “Go for No”, rather than chasing a “Yes”.

They get excited when they hear “No” because it means they are closer to a “Yes”. For example, one of my clients wanted to find a girlfriend so he set himself a task of getting 100 “No’s”. The rationale behind this is that the 100 “No’s” meant that he would keep asking ladies out on a date, and not be upset if they said “No” because he simply crossed that one off the list and moved to the next. Consequently, he gave more invitations, and therefore actually got more dates.

So the moral to the story this week is two fold.

  1. It’s ok, in fact it’s preferable, for you to say “No”, when it’s a “No”. No more hiding behind codes or keeping people hanging on.
  1. If you are in sales, Go for No. It will increase the number of calls you make, which in turn will increase the number of “Yeses” you receive.

Give it a go and let me “No” the outcome!

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