Should I Say Something? (WT556)

Should I Say Something? (WT556)

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by Shirley Dalton | 19 Feb, 2021 | Blog, Leadership

DISCRETION

Should I Say Something? WT556

Sean had a dilemma. His teammates had confided in him.

They shared information with him that affected the business.

He didn’t know what to do.

“Shirl, I am in a real pickle here. I want to maintain confidentiality, but I feel really strongly about what they told me. I don’t know what to do. What would you do?”

Now anyone who has worked with me knows that it’s not for me to answer that question.

We know that the person with the problem is the best person to solve the problem.

The best way to help is to listen (actively) and to ask the questions that they need to hear, not questions to satisfy our curiosity.

“Why do you think they confided in you?” I asked.

“Well, they know I can keep stuff to myself.”

“Yes, why else did they tell you and not someone else?”

“Well, I don’t know that they haven’t told someone else.”

“Ok. Let’s look at it another way. Do you think they were venting, or do you think they told you because they wanted you to do something about it?”

“I think a bit of both. I think they needed to download and share and I also think they were wondering what they should do with the information.”

“So what they shared wasn’t necessarily about them, rather it was what someone else had shared with them?” I continued to clarify.

“Yes, I think so.”

“In essence, they were having the same conversation with you that we are having now?” I reflected back.

“Yes, I suppose they were. You know, I really don’t have to do anything with that information, other than have listened to them. They are the ones who need to take action to change it, if they want to.”

“That sounds like you’ve worked out what you want to do?” I reflected.

“Yes. Thanks so much for the advice. It was really helpful.”

That comment always intrigues me because I didn’t give any advice. I merely asked questions to help Sean clarify for himself what was going on. At the end of the conversation he decided what he wanted to do and in this case, he decided he didn’t need to do anything.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, where you’re not sure if you should speak up, you can coach yourself, by asking yourself some simple questions:

  1. What was the motivation for them sharing the information with me?
  2. Is this something that has the potential to harm others?
  3. Is this a legal issue, such as child protection information or a non-compliance behaviour etc.?
  4. What is to be gained by me breaking the confidentiality and sharing the information or what are the likely consequences?
  5. If I was to break confidentiality, who would need to know and what would their likely reaction be?
  6. And finally, what are my real reasons for wanting to say something?

It’s a tricky situation to be in and every situation is different. At the end of the day, only you can really decide whether you should say something.

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What Are You Going To Do About It? (WT555)

What Are You Going To Do About It? (WT555)

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by Shirley Dalton | 12 Feb, 2021 | Blog, Customer Service, Mindset

WT 555 What are you going to do about it

This was the question the guy at the counter asked Ross when Ross pointed out the damage to the bumper bar on our motorhome.

“What am I going to do about it? Ross repeated the question.

“I’m not going to do anything. You’re going to get it fixed. It was you (as in their company) who damaged it”, Ross continued.

We had taken the motorhome to get its yearly service on the truck and engine. It was also due for registration, so we needed a roadworthy certificate.

We had only recently had the bumper bar replaced after waiting almost 12 months.

“How about you get it fixed and we’ll waive the invoice for today?” the assistant offered.

“Do you know how much these are worth?” asked Ross, who was totally flabbergasted at the offer.

Ross answered for him, “We got a quote for $7,000 from company X and we ended up getting another repairer to fix it for $4,000.

Blood drained from the assistant’s face.

“I’m not leaving here until I have it in writing that you are going to fix it”, demanded Ross.

After some lengthy negotiations and still no apology, Ross finally left after having waited 5 hours for the service because they had failed to update their booking system when the date had been changed, nor had they confirmed it. From a business and customer service point of view, they score 1/10.

Apart from a rant, here’s the point.

Both Ross and I went into the primal state over this. Ross was so rattled he missed a turn and we ended up 40km out of our way when we didn’t have the luxury of time.

As soon as we arrived at our destination, Ross jumped out of the van and apologised. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

I had been following in Harry Hilux and had been fuming at how late I was for an appointment.

My mood only got worse when he told me about the damage.

Fortunately, I remembered my training. There is no suffering in any experience. The only cause of our suffering is our own thoughts, or what we think about the experience.

I started to calm down. The facts were: the motorhome got damaged and I was late for a meeting. That’s it. No suffering in the experience, only my thoughts, so I focussed on it being an experience and let it go. (A ride on my new ebike also helped.)

So, please remember this story and training for the next time things don’t go according to how you want or expect.

There is no suffering in the experience. The only cause of your suffering is your own thinking.

I trust this is helpful. Thanks for listening.

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When You Can’t Decide (WT554)

When You Can’t Decide (WT554)

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by Shirley Dalton | 5 Feb, 2021 | Blog, Mindset

WT 554 When You Can't Decide

I don’t have any trouble making a decision, unless I can’t make a decision.

That sounds odd, don’t you think.

Here’s what I mean.

Ross and I had wanted to get e-bikes for about a year now.

About a month ago we decided to purchase them. (As a side note, you haven’t made a decision until you take action.)

Ross did the initial research to get a ballpark figure for what the bikes might cost. There was a huge variation in price.

We narrowed it down to a couple of brands.

Ross researched the distributors and stockists (many of whom had none in stock).

Finally he found a business that specialised in e-bikes and which had a number in store that we could test ride.

We both test rode a couple of the bikes. I liked some of the features of them, but there wasn’t one bike that stood out.

“I don’t know. I’m not quite sure”, I said to Ross as we drove off.

What I did know was that I was getting desperate to buy one.

I couldn’t decide.

We went back the following week and test rode the same two bikes. Nothing had changed. I still couldn’t decide.

A new bike had arrived at the shop and the assistant had only assembled it that morning. Ross rode it and liked it.

I rode my 2 bikes again, doing my best to decide which one to buy.

I looked at the new bike and just as we were about to leave, I asked to ride it.

As soon as I took off, I knew it was the one.

It was comfortable. It had power and it was manageable. The strange thing for me was that this bike was the same as one I had ridden the week before and dismissed. What was different this time?

It had different brakes, but that didn’t make a difference to how it handled or how it felt.

Ross had changed the seat and handlebar settings.

Wow, I loved this bike.

As I rode back to the shop, I smiled and said, “We have a Winner”.

I felt the assistant’s relief.

All that had to be done was to pay for the bikes and organise for a new sturdy bike rack for the motorhome.

I can’t wait to go riding this weekend.

Now to the point of the story. I don’t have any trouble making a decision, unless I can’t make a decision.

Ross and I have learned over the years to trust my intuition. If it’s an “I don’t know”, it’s a “No”.

There is always something better to come.

How about you?

What sort of decision maker are you?

What do you do when you can’t decide?

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She Covered It Up (WT553)

She Covered It Up (WT553)

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by Shirley Dalton | 29 Jan, 2021 | Blog, Leadership

WT 553 She Covered It Up

It was a beautiful sunny morning with a gentle breeze blowing as Ross and I walked along the beach, simply enjoying each other’s company and the coolness of the water as it teased us washing over our toes.

I was in absolute heaven.

As we walked, we came towards a woman with a dog.

“Oh God!” I nudged Ross.

There, right next to the lifesaver’s flag pole, a large dog squatted and hunched its back.

“It’s doing a pooh”, I explained.

I looked at the woman.

She was looking around to see if anyone saw it.

Yes, we saw it.

And then ….

She covered it up with sand.

She kicked sand over it.

I was incredulous.

She walked off, leaving a big dog turd covered up with sand right where kids would be expected to play.

“Yuk, yuk and yuk”.

And then I started to think about what she did in terms of “how we do anything is how we do everything”.

Covering things up is not helpful.

It’s not helpful if you don’t take responsibility and it’s certainly not helpful for other people.

Don’t kick sand over it. Don’t cover it up.

Take responsibility and clean up your mess.

We continued walking and upon our return, the tide had come in and the water now reached the pooh and it was exposed. At least it could be seen and avoided.

And just like the water exposing the pooh, the problem with covering things up, is that eventually someone uncovers them and we get found out.

It’s far better to take responsibility, own up to it and clean up your mess.

Is there anything you’ve been covering up lately that you need to address?

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Developing Your Team’s Potential (WT552)

Developing Your Team’s Potential (WT552)

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by Shirley Dalton | 22 Jan, 2021 | Blog, Leadership

WT 552 Developing Your Team's Potential

Let me ask you a question.

Do you know what people think of you and how highly they regard you?

This week I was talking with one of my legends; we’ll call her Vanessa, about an Introduction to Management workshop that I’ll be presenting on Tuesday 2nd February in Gosford, NSW.

I was explaining why I was invited to run the workshop at Realtair Academy by Lee Woodward, Creative Director for Realtair.

Lee has trained thousands of real estate agents over the past 20 years and has been instrumental in the growth and development of some of the most successful real estate businesses. He mentioned to me that he sees great potential in many of the employees he works with throughout the real estate industry and the sad fact is that many of those he sees potential in, especially women, sadly do not see how talented they are nor what’s possible for them.

As I was telling Vanessa, she shared her story which is exactly what we’re talking about.

“I think back to as a journalist, and I had one particular editor who clearly saw me as a leader and pushed me because he saw the previous editor hadn’t or didn’t develop people particularly well. But this guy really pinpointed particular people and we all had to go through this big leadership program through Fairfax.”

“I was petrified to start with, absolutely petrified. I went through it and kept thinking, I don’t know this stuff. Who am I to be doing this sort of stuff? And in the end, as an example, the guy who is currently very high up and working for one of the country’s leaders, is a guy that I trained as a journalist in our newsroom and who was petrified as a journalist and now look where he is.”

She continued, “You never know where somebody is going to end up. I ended up thriving on that whole nurturing the next generation of journalists that come through, I loved it. My boss made me the chief copy editor so that I could sit down with a cadet journalist and work through the copy and share because he was a highly Directive personality. He couldn’t teach the young journalists who were petrified of him because he was so scary.”

“He saw that I was very nurturing and that I would guide people through and be patient with their learning and so I ended up becoming the only copy editor and no one else could touch copy except for me or him. In fact, he would often say, Vanessa is not editor material, she will become a general manager, that’s where she’s destined to go.”

If you’re a team leader or manager, are you resonating with this? Is there someone on your team that doesn’t see their potential? As their leader or manager, like Vanessa, you don’t know what impact you could have on someone or where they could end up.

So if you have a team member that can’t see the potential you see for them, consider sending them to the workshop. It’ll be a unique experience designed to increase confidence and help your team members see what you see in them. It’s not only an investment in them, it’s an investment in the future success of your business.

The same goes for you, if you ARE THAT TEAM MEMBER who doesn’t see in yourself what others see in you. If you are petrified and don’t see that you could be the manager or leader making a difference to the people you’ll be managing or maybe you’re just curious to discover the difference between leadership and management. I invite you to attend the workshop. We’ll be discussing the Top 10 Skills you need as a leader and you might be surprised to see that you already have some, if not, most of them.

If you’re reading this and you are a manager/leader, I invite you to do a quick self-assessment and ask yourself, what are you currently doing to ensure that the people in your team grow and develop. In other words, what is your succession plan? Do you have one? If not, maybe now would be a good time to do something about that.

Click here to hear my interview with Lee Woodward about what it takes to be a successful manager and to find out more about the workshop. It’s not just for people in the real estate industry, anyone is welcome.

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Notify Your Face (WT551)

Notify Your Face (WT551)

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by Shirley Dalton | 15 Jan, 2021 | Blog, Leadership

WT 551 Notify your face

Have you ever witnessed someone say and do something that just made you cringe?

For me, it was about 13 years ago, whilst I was a participant in a training program.

The presenter was proudly telling her story about how she confronted a local checkout operator.

“Are you happy?” she asked the checkout operator.

“Yes”, replied the young girl.

“Well, notify your face”, boomed the presenter and laughed heartily.

Wow! I didn’t think that was funny. I didn’t laugh.

I thought it was cruel and righteous, which brings me to my point this week.

We all have different personalities; some are gregarious and outgoing and funny and loud and others are the exact opposite.

Because we’re different doesn’t mean we’re bad or that there is something wrong with us.

This presenter showed a complete lack of understanding of the differences and individuality in people.

I’m fascinated by people and I’ve been studying people all my life. I love people. I don’t always like them, nor they me and that’s okay because it would be a dull old world if we were all the same.

We need our differences. We need people to see things differently to us. We need people to do things differently to us, especially if we’re on a team.

We need the Drivers, the Coaches, the Advisors and the Counsellors. Each personality type has strengths and weaknesses and together they compliment each other and create a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts (that’s the definition of “Synergy”).

If I take my own advice, I need to accept that the presenter has different views and ways of showing up than I do and I shall stop being judgmental and righteous myself.

I’m absolutely passionate about understanding our differences and making the most of them.

Today I’m hosting a free online training “How Your Personality Affects How Well You Lead”.

It’s on Friday 15th January at 11:00am AEST (Sydney time).

Don’t worry if you can’t make it. Simply register for the training and we’ll send you a link to the replay.

Let’s start the year with tolerance and understanding – that is, of others and ourselves.

Click Here to register for the training.

And it’s okay with me if you’re happy and you’re the quiet type. I’m not going to demand that you Notify Your Face.

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