Today, I’m feeling sad.

I’m sad for Brad.

Brad is overwhelmed with his business.

He doesn’t have time.

He’s doing everything, even though he has people on his team.

He doesn’t know which way is up or down at the moment.

He’s tired, cranky and emotional.

His wife reached out to me to help him. (We worked together a few years ago.)

She introduced us via email.

I offered to call him if he would reply with his phone number

No reply.

A few weeks passed.

I called his wife.

“He needs you”, she cried.

She too was feeling the effects of living with her stressed out husband.

“I’ll remind him again”, she said.

Another few weeks passed.

I called again and left a message.

A few days later I got an email from his wife.

I talked to him and he said he’s just not in the right headspace.”

This is the part that makes me very sad.

It’s a Catch 22!

I’m too busy and stressed to find the time to get the help yet getting the help will relieve the stress and busyness and improve the headspace.

Knowing I can help just by listening and providing a safe place for people to share what’s going on and then develop a plan and provide support for things to change – emotionally, mentally, physically, strategically really upsets me when I see people in pain.

I can’t force people to help themselves.

Why is it that so often we won’t ask for or accept help?

If you’re in the same situation as Brad, please don’t prolong it.

Do yourself and your family a favour. Accept the help when it’s offered.

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This week’s thought is for all the learners.

If you’re learning something new at the moment and feeling frustrated or beating yourself up because you’re not nailing it as quickly as you would like or you’re losing your confidence and starting to feel hopeless and incompetent, maybe even worthless, then read on.

Rather than getting annoyed at yourself and focusing on all the things you can’t do yet or calling yourself all kinds of negative names, instead think of what you are learning as if you were learning to cook a new recipe.

A friend recommends a recipe. You taste the food at their place and it is delicious.

You decide to have a go at making the dish.

You buy the ingredients.

You follow the recipe.

Ugh! It doesn’t quite turn out the same.

Do you give up?

No. You analyse what you can do to improve it and you try again.

Here’s an example.

I was making an omelette. I haven’t cooked an omelette for a long time and the first omelette was burnt on the bottom and burnt on the top but not quite cooked in the middle.  (I put the pan under the grill to cook the top.)

Anyway, I didn’t throw a fit. I didn’t yell and scream and curse and throw myself on the floor (which I have done when I haven’t quite nailed technology the first time or learned a new script).

I started thinking about how I could improve the recipe, or more particularly, my method.

I experimented.

I used a bigger frypan the next time.

This spread the egg over a greater distance and the result was a perfectly cooked omelette.

Next time you don’t quite nail what you are learning and practising, please think of the omelette.

Look to see what is working and what you have learned and then without emotion, look to see what you could do to improve.

Become curious and enjoy the learning process.

When you do, not only will you learn faster, you’ll get a better result.

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As I was preparing for the first session of the current Loyal Lieutenant online experience, I was speaking with a client whom I’ve been working with for over 15 years.

Our very first project was a 10 week coaching course for him as he stepped into the role of General Manager.

He had been promoted because the owner of the company observed that any time there was a problem, (and particularly when the owner was away), this employee sorted it out.

He was a natural problem solver.

We chatted about the mindset it requires to solve problems and to step into that 2IC role.

When I first started at Kip McGrath, I made a lot of changes to the systems, simply to make my job easier.

I too am a natural problem solver.

And I also believe this is both a skill and a mindset that can be learned and improved.

This is something pay particular attention to in The Loyal Lieutenant.

Problem solvers ask questions.

They look for easier ways to do things.

They don’t just accept “this is the way we do it around here” without questioning the efficiency of the way it’s done.

Problem solvers don’t ask for permission to fix things. They just fix them.

One skill problem solvers can improve though, is their ability to promote themselves.  Not in an arrogant or brash way, neither in a coercive or controlling way, but to let the boss know what has been fixed.

For example, “The franchisees were complaining that we were sending their materials to the wrong address. I talked with the dispatch manager to understand how this could happen and as a result, we now ask the franchisees what their preferred postal and delivery addresses are for letters and parcels. We haven’t had any complaints about delivery in the past few weeks.”

If you don’t tell them, they won’t know. Promoting yourself is also a key skill.

If you’re a natural problem solver, please embrace this. Continue to fix thing and make sure to let those in charge know what you’ve fixed.

If you’re not a natural problem solver, don’t despair. You can develop the mindset of a problem solver. Give yourself permission to become a problem solver and set about finding better ways to do things. The choice is up to you.

You can learn to be a problem solver. It’s a skill and a mindset that is very valuable and in high demand. Your boss will love you for it.

P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thought delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/Weekly-Thoughts.