Not Every Kid Gets a Trophy (WT605)

Not Every Kid Gets a Trophy (WT605)

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by Shirley Dalton | 28 Jan, 2022 | Blog, Mindset

WT 605 Not every kid gets a trophy

When I was growing up I had a friend who was very athletic. She always seemed to get out of school by going to the regional, zone and state athletic carnivals and she would come back with a fistful of medals and trophies.

I was very envious. The best I could do was come last in a three-legged race.

I wasn’t athletic, but I was smart.

I learned that not every kid gets a trophy and this helped me to understand my strengths and weaknesses.

This memory came to the fore recently when one of my clients was telling me about some of his team members whom he had to let go. “Shirl, they just couldn’t do the job. They just couldn’t seem to learn it. I really started questioning myself and whether it was the way I was training them and you know the really interesting thing, was that they didn’t see it. They really thought their skills and ability were much higher than I did.”

This also reminded me of the research conducted by Carol Dweck. According to Dweck, there are two basic mindsets: fixed and growth. If you have a fixed mindset, you believe your abilities are fixed traits and therefore can’t be changed. You may also believe that your talent and intelligence alone leads to success, and effort is not required.

In my client’s case, the team members seemed to have a fixed mindset albeit an inflated picture of their real abilities.

Dweck worked with children in school and found that some would not even try because they had decided they couldn’t learn or that they were stupid etc.   They blamed themselves and circumstances and believed nothing could or would change. This is a Fixed mindset.

With one 3 letter word, Dweck was able to help them change their mindset to that of a Growth mindset, where they were able to believe that effort and practice over time could make a meaningful difference. A fixed mindset contributes to limiting beliefs whereas a growth mindset empowers beliefs.

Would you like to know what the three letter word is?

It’s “Yet”.   When children said they couldn’t do something, Dweck encouraged them by adding the word “yet” to the end of their sentence.

Give it a go.  Next time you find yourself limiting what you think you can achieve, insert the word “yet” when you hear yourself say, I can’t …………yet.

And as for the kids with a fixed mindset that they can’t be beaten or no-one else is as good as them, a timely reminder that not every kid gets a trophy.

If you’re interested to see whether you’ve got a fixed or growth mindset click on the link to complete the quiz.

https://blog.mindsetworks.com/what-s-my-mindset

Regards Shirley

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The Second in Command (WT604)

The Second in Command (WT604)

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by Shirley Dalton | 21 Jan, 2022 | Blog, Leadership

WT 604 The Second in Command

This week I thought we’d talk about leadership and what it means to be the Second in Command (2IC).

In a few weeks I’ll be launching my new book called The Loyal Lieutenant: How the Second in Command Brings the CEO’s Vision to Life.

Before we look at the role of the person in your organisation who supports the boss, let’s look at the boss’ role.

The CEO, Managing Director, CVO (Chief Vision Officer) or whatever title the head person goes by, has the responsibility of creating the vision and direction for the organisation.

Being able to see what the majority cannot see is a true gift. That’s what makes them so valuable. They see possibility where the rest of us see darkness.

But – the majority of visionaries lack the ability to clearly articulate their vision in a way that others can see.

This is where the 2IC shines.

The 2IC is an interpreter. The 2IC gets the vision and is able to explain that to the team in a way they can understand.

The 2IC is responsible for bringing the vision to life; for developing the strategy and the plan and the actions that need to be completed by the team.

The 2IC is there to guide and support the team; to provide the resources and to solve problems.

The 2IC is the conduit between the team and the visionary.

The visionary wants to know where the projects are up to and the 2IC is the person who provides the progress updates. Communication is key.

Have a look in your organisation, even if your organisation is your family unit. There will be one person on your team who has the vision. There will be another who interprets and communicates this to the rest of the team, who will get stuff done.

Here’s an example that can be applied at both the workplace and at home.

Visionary decides to take the team to Disneyland. This is the destination.

The 2IC questions and clarifies what the visionary sees and shares this with the team and comes up with the strategy and the plan and then assigns the tasks to the team:

  1. Someone to arrange flights and accommodation
  2. Someone to arrange meals
  3. Someone to arrange insurances
  4. Someone to create an itinerary of activities
  5. Someone to organise transport in America

Every single person on the team contributes to the end goal in some way. Think of it like an orchestra with many different instruments, all led by the conductor. The 2IC is the conductor, guiding and mentoring the team.

Question: if you have a team to complete the tasks, should the 2IC be doing the tasks?

No. The role of the 2IC is coordinate and make it happen.

Who is that person in your organisation or family?

If it’s not you, are you supporting them by doing the tasks or are you standing back and letting them do your job?

The role of the 2IC is to bring the vision to life.

What’s your role?

P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

It’s Not Okay (WT603)

It’s Not Okay (WT603)

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by Shirley Dalton | 14 Jan, 2022 | Blog, Leadership

WT 603 It's not Okay

Mostly, I love humans.

Every now and again though, some do some things that really challenge my value system.

We visited a friend for dinner and had parked Harry Hilux in the street. We enjoyed a lovely dinner and were feeling very relaxed and happy when we left (no not drunk, just happy).

We walked up to the car.

Harry Hilux has a tray back and when we got to him there on his back was a half full carton of chocolate milk.

“Really!” Someone had left their rubbish sitting there.

We looked around for a bin. No bins.

We didn’t want to leave it in the street, so I ended up carrying it home in my hands whilst Ross drove and threw it in the bin when we arrived home.

In these days of Covid, I was also a little anxious about touching the rubbish.

What goes on in people’s brains that they think that sort of behaviour is okay?

It’s not okay.

Even if there wasn’t a bin in sight, please take your rubbish with you until you find one.

Okay, rant over.

What would you have done?

Would you have left it in the street or found a bin?

Let’s not litter Australia.

Let’s take responsibility for our actions and look after this amazing country and planet we call home.

P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

Bye Bye Contessa (WT602)

Bye Bye Contessa (WT602)

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by Shirley Dalton | 7 Jan, 2022 | Blog, Mindset

WT 602 Bye Bye Contessa

Yesterday was a day of mixed emotions for Ross and I.

It was the day we said goodbye to our beautiful Contessa, our home for almost 3 years as we travelled around Australia.

It was sad to see her for the last time as she sat in the dealer’s yard, knowing that this was the end of another chapter and adventure for us.

And we are also extremely grateful for such an easy sale.

Life is always working for you, even though at times it may not be to your preference.

Having returned to Newcastle to run a leadership experience in November/December, we had initially planned to return to South Australia. We figured we had another 2 years before construction on our apartment would be completed.

As it turned out, we were extremely lucky that Contessa had been booked in for a service and was still under warranty (by 3 months). The service centre found that there had been water damage from a fault in the plumbing design and if out of warranty could have cost some tens of thousands of dollars to fix.

The service centre was also completely booked out for about 6 months so we would have had to have found alternate accommodation.

Fortunately, we had made the decision to stay in Newcastle for the 2 years and had found somewhere to live. The dealership also offered to buy Contessa provided the repairs would be covered by warranty.

Wow! Who could have known that?

Indeed, on the morning of the day Ross was taking her to Sydney for her service, I felt an overwhelming sadness as I emptied our contents. “Say goodbye to Contessa Ross”, I said. “She’s not coming back.”

“What do you mean she’s not coming back?” asked Ross. “Of course she is, she’ll be back in a few weeks.”

“No she won’t” I continued. “She’s going to be sold, so say goodbye.”

Little did we know that morning that that was exactly what was going to happen.

She didn’t come home and she was sold and today I took one last look and one last photo of our amazing girl who sheltered us and shared our wonderful adventure for the past few years.

Life is always working for you, even if at times, it’s not to your preference.

What’s happening for you?

Have you noticed lately that you “know” things before they occur?

What preferences are not pleasing you at the moment, that could ultimately turn out to be for your best?

I’m so very thankful for the time we had with Contessa and the travels and adventures and I trust her new owners will love her as much as we did.

P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

Time for a Rest (WT601)

Time for a Rest (WT601)

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by Shirley Dalton | 31 Dec, 2021 | Blog, Mindset

WT 601 Time for a rest

The week between Christmas and New Year is traditionally a time that many businesses close.

When I worked in the tutoring franchise, it was company policy to shut down for a few weeks from the week before Christmas to the week after new year, (whether we liked it or not).

Kip’s philosophy was that “we work for the clients and since our clients are school teachers running tutoring centres, school holidays are the only times we can go on leave”.

Not having kids of our own, Ross and I would have preferred to have saved our holidays and enjoyed time off out of school holidays, however it was not to be whilst I worked there.

Still, the point of today’s Weekly Thought is that whether it’s this time of year or any other time throughout the year, you need to have some down time. You need to take time for a rest.

Your health depends on it. Your mental health; your physical health; your spiritual health and your emotional health. Not to mention the health of your family, friends and work colleagues.

Even Weight Watchers encourages people on their program to make sure they get at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night. Lack of sleep can interfere with your weight.

Today I ran over time on a meeting. I simply got lost in the conversation and didn’t realise that we had gone 30 minutes past finishing time. What concerned me more was that I knew the person I met with wouldn’t log off when we finished. We’ll call her Julia.

“Julia, please promise me you will log off now and go and enjoy dinner with your family”, I suggested.

“I’ll just check in with Rose and see if she needs anything, then I’ll log off”, she replied.

“Send me a text message when you log off please”, I asked, in order to encourage her to log off sooner than I thought she would as well as to act as an accountability buddy.

One and half hours later, I had not received the SMS.

As any good accountability buddy would do, I sent Julia an SMS. “Time for a Rest.”

Julia’s reply – “Logging out now.”

It’s very important to rest. As Kip told me when I first started with him, “We don’t pay overtime. What I want you to do is to work efficiently during your work hours and then go home and enjoy your time with your husband; rest and come back tomorrow refreshed and ready for another productive day.”

Kip was right. We do need to rest.

I know you work hard when you need to. I also want you to rest when you can and take advantage of when things are a bit slower, like the holiday season so that you can rest, relax and refresh.

Taking time for a rest is the smart thing to do. It will ensure you don’t burn out and will also assist you to be able to creatively solve problems because you will be in what David Bayer calls the “Powerful State”.

On the eve of the new year, I wish you all the best for a very happy new year. May 2022 be the year you decide to work productively AND make time to rest.

P.S. Today is the last day to save $1,000 with the Early Bird Bonus for our next Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience. There are limited places left. For more information check out https://shirleydalton.com/leading-yourself-leading-others-may2020/. Experience starts Thursday 10th February.

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

So This is Christmas (WT600)

So This is Christmas (WT600)

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by Shirley Dalton | 24 Dec, 2021 | Blog, Mindset

From John Lennon’s song,

WT 600 So this is Christmas

“So this is Christmas and what have you done?

Another year over, a new one just begun.”

What a year we’ve all had.

For this 600th weekly thought, I simply want to wish you and yours a very happy and healthy and safe Christmas.

My heart goes out to those who are ill and those who are isolating over the Christmas period. I’ve got the healing fairies on high alert and ready to fly wherever needed.

There have been many challenges this year which have also brought many insights and appreciation for the simple things like being able to hang out with your family; being able to hug someone and shake hands; being able to travel and eat out; being able to work and being able to learn.

As we head into a couple of weeks of rest and relaxation, I encourage you to take a few moments to reflect on the year that’s been and as challenging as it has been, note the things that you are grateful for and the things that you would have previously taken for granted.

I’m grateful for you, showing up every week to read my thoughts.

I’m grateful for my work and my clients. I love both dearly.

I’m grateful for Ross, my lifetime adventure partner and biggest supporter.

I’m grateful for my friends and for my family.

I’m grateful for my health.

I’m grateful for the bountiful food we enjoy and the water we have on tap.

I’m grateful for my car and for having easily sold Contessa.

How about you, what are you grateful for?

What have you done this year?

So this is Christmas….. Another Year Over

Wishing you the best of everything.

Can’t help myself – remember Life is always working for you, even if at times, it’s not to your preference.

Happy Holidays!

P.S. Only a week to register if you want to save $1,000 on our next Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience. There are limited places left. For more information check out https://shirleydalton.com/leading-yourself-leading-others-may2020/. Experience starts Thursday 10th February and Early Bird Discount ends 31st December.

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

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