Should I Smile? (WT710)

Should I Smile? (WT710)

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by Shirley Dalton | 2 Feb, 2024 | Blog, Mindset

WT 710 Should I Smile

You might think that’s a bit of a silly question.

Should I smile?

You might be thinking, “Yes, of course, you should smile”.

And I agree. It’s nice when people smile at us first or return a smile.

What do you do at the gym and other similar places where people are doing their own thing and sometimes your eyes happen to meet?

Do you smile?

I’m usually the first one to smile or wave.

In fact, years ago, Ross and I were driving home one afternoon, and as we came around a corner, I waved at some of the neighbours on their veranda.

“Do you know them?” he asked.

“No.”

“Then why are you waving?”

“Because I’m having a game. Every time I drive past and see them, I wave. I’m waiting to see how long it takes them to wave back.”

“Whatever”, he sighed.

It took a couple of weeks but they did eventually wave and smile. I didn’t get to speak to them, ever, but we had a good waving and smiling relationship.

So, back to the gym.

I don’t know what to do.

Sometimes I smile at people and they seem to look right through me and that triggers my fear of rejection, so then I look down and tell myself not to smile at anyone.

And I can’t help it.

I smile or at least I want to. My mouth sort of half turns up, as if I’m going to smile but I can’t give a full smile though, until I get some sort of sign that it might be welcome. So I suppose I end up looking a bit goofy.

Occasionally someone smiles back, but not very often.

What do you do?

In situations like this, it can become awkward.

And to get more complicated, some days people return a smile and on other days they do not.

I find it really uncomfortable to not smile.

For me, smiling and saying “hello” is a friendly gesture.

I like to acknowledge people; let them know I’ve seen them, they’re important.

When we travelled in the motorhome, we were surprised and delighted at how “friendly” people from Tasmania were; even the young kids would walk past, look up at us, smile and say “hello”.

When we travelled back and stayed on the south coast of NSW, it was a totally different experience. We kept looking at people to smile and say “hello” but the majority of people just looked away before our eyes could meet.

So back to my question, should I smile?

Do you smile or are you the type of person who prefers not to make eye contact?

What are your thoughts on the topic?

P. S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

Let’s Talk About Systems (WT709)

Let’s Talk About Systems (WT709)

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by Shirley Dalton | 26 Jan, 2024 | Blog, Systems and Processes

WT 709 Let's talk about systems

The past few Weekly Thoughts have focused on mindset and leadership.

This week we need to talk about systems.

I’ve been working with a couple of clients the past few weeks, helping with recruitment and creating new finance systems. It’s been a big reminder to me of the value of having systems and processes that others can follow when key people are absent.

Let me give you some examples.

Client #1 – a key support team member resigned after having worked with the company for 3 years. A team of sales professionals relied on the support and whilst they are actively recruiting for a replacement, the sales team now find themselves having to complete the administrative tasks as well as focus on sales.

Client #2 – it’s the end of the school holidays and a long term employee wanted to take a week’s leave to enjoy with her children. The employee works in the finance team. Obviously not everyone in the team has the same permissions to access the company finances so the employee ended up logging in just about every day to complete some tasks.

These companies represent most of the companies I work with.

Most are small, family owned businesses, unlike the then NSW Department of Motor Transport, where I was employed as a 17 year old typist.

After a few years working in the one motor registry, I transferred to what was known as “Relief Staff”. This meant that I travelled around NSW, relieving workers who were on holiday or sick leave.

Every motor registry had the same systems and processes so I could turn up at any registry and do the work.

I was shocked when I left the government to work in small business.  “Where’s the relief staff?” I would ask. “What do you mean my work will be waiting for me when I get back?”

This never happened in the motor registry.  The relief staff did the work and for the most part, when we finished each day and balanced the cash register, we went home and forgot about work until it was time to do it all over again the next day.

This doesn’t happen in small business.

There isn’t the luxury of extra staff because there aren’t enough offices or roles to keep someone employed relieving for 11 months of the year.

So, talking systems, processes and procedures, the best ones are those that are documented in such a way that anyone could follow the procedure and get the desired outcome, even if they have never done it before. They might be slower at first, but at least they could finish the task.

What are your systems, processes and procedures like?

Are you using looms or other screen capture applications to show people what they need to do?

Are you using programs like otter.ai to transcribe an audio or video recording?

Are you using document management systems like TKO to keep all of your procedures in one place, that’s available 24×7?

Are you automating your processes or still wasting time doing things manually?

It’s time to talk systems and if you’re interested to follow the method I use when I consult with systems clients, you can purchase a copy of my book The Loyal Lieutenant: How The Second-In-
Command Brings The CEO’s Vision To Life by going to https://shirleydalton.com/books or you can search Amazon for an electronic copy.

It’s time to talk to systems.

Let 2024 be the year you get yourself, your team, your work and your business systemised, so you too can go on leave and fully rest and recharge without thinking about work.

P. S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

The Trick Is Not To Resist (WT708)

The Trick Is Not To Resist (WT708)

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by Shirley Dalton | 19 Jan, 2024 | Blog, Mindset

WT708 The Trick Is Not To Resist

OMG! I’m SUPER excited.

I got up early this week to join a webinar training with David and Carol Bayer talking about Imagination, Visualisation and Actualisation (IVA).

I want to share the most important point I took away from the training, “the trick is not to resist”.

What this means, is that when we are imagining and visualising the things we want, in what David and Carol refer to as the 4th dimension, we often start comparing that to our current 3rd dimension reality of the 5-senses and therefore we start “resisting” what we want to manifest.

Resistance can take the form of “control”.  We can’t see “how” it can happen, so we don’t believe or have faith and therefore we actively work against ourselves and stop it from actualising.

Another form of resistance comes in our feelings of not being worthy or deserving. As David says, “everyone has the right to imagine” and Carol says, “there are no rules in the 4th dimension”, so our lack of self worth actually prevents us from creating what we want.

Today’s message was a powerful one for me and I trust it will be for you too.

Carol gave examples of people whose “situations” included being homeless for a period of time but that didn’t stop them from creating what they wanted.  If you’re current situation doesn’t match what you desire, no problem. Simply say to yourself and anyone who asks what you are doing, “I’m in the process of building my ……….”(fill in the blank for whatever it is you want).

For example, Jennifer Lopez slept on the couch in her studio after leaving home because she didn’t want to go to college. She wanted to be a dancer. Paul Mitchell was homeless while he was building his shampoo business (in his mind) until the 4th dimension rearranged things for him to string things together and manifest.

It’s one thing to imagine and visualise and feel what you want to create, the trick is not to resist what you are creating.

As Carol and David say, we are constantly creating because we are constantly thinking, speaking, feeling and imagining.  Most of us however, are usually imagining the things we don’t want or speaking about the things we don’t want and therefore that’s exactly what we create.

It’s time to understand how the world works. It’s time to understand how our bodies and minds work and how we are vibrational beings.

The trick is not to resist.

Goosebumps.  How about you?

What are you currently building? What are you currently working on?

P. S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

The Inspiration Call (WT707)

The Inspiration Call (WT707)

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by Shirley Dalton | 12 Jan, 2024 | Blog, Mindset

WT 707 The Inspiration Call

I was coaching with one of my fabulous clients this week. We’ll call her Paris.

Paris had booked in for a coaching session around November last year but rescheduled until early January.

She had a lot going on with work, kids, extended family and Christmas.

As it turns out, there was a bit more going on and Paris admitted that she had decided she wanted to take action from our previous coaching session and then update me with the progress she had made.

An Advisor personality, Paris likes to research and analyse all the data. It can sometimes take her (and most Advisors) a while before she swings into action.

I was super impressed with the action she had taken in such a short time.

It was inspiring.

Paris mentioned that she appreciated the feeling of being held accountable and at times how forthright my feedback could be.

“I seem to respond well to being told the truth and challenged”, she reflected.

As we neared the end of the session, Paris shared that she will book in again when she has made further progress. She didn’t want to use the word ‘brag’, but that’s exactly what she wants to do.

She wants to be able to share what action and achievements she has made between sessions.

I love this spirit and this attitude. Rather than a coaching session or accountability call, I suggested we call our sessions “Inspiration Calls” because that’s what they are.

The sessions inspire Paris to take the action she needs and when she does and gets the results, it inspires me too. Win Win.

So, how about you?

Have you got someone who is willing to call you on your behaviour or mindset when you need it?

Have you got someone who can hold you accountable, even if for the little things you want to achieve?

As an example, Ross and I hold each other accountable to go to the gym.  If either of us doesn’t go, the other one feels vindicated to not go either. As a result, we encourage ourselves to go.

Having someone in your corner is critical. I don’t know many people who have the discipline, drive and perseverance to do it all alone.

This week, I’d like you to really think about who supports you and cheers you on and tells you the truth. Who inspires you? Whether it’s a family member, friend, colleague or professional, when you know who it is, heap gratitude on them. Show them how much you appreciate who they are and what they do for you.  Odds are, if you don’t tell them or show them, they won’t know.

P. S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

The Rider and The Elephant (WT706)

The Rider and The Elephant (WT706)

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by Shirley Dalton | 5 Jan, 2024 | Blog, Mindset

WT 706 The Rider and the Elephant

It’s the start of a new year and most of us find ourselves looking forward to a bright sunny year ahead.

Consciously we set intentions or goals for the year ahead and for many of us, soon become disappointed as the year progresses and we have not achieved what we wanted and we give up.

For some, they know this is going to happen so they go straight past the disappointment stage and refuse to set goals, a.k.a. “new year’s resolutions”.

So what does “the rider and the elephant” have to do with setting goals?

As it turns out, everything.

The rider and the elephant is a metaphor used in the book, “Switch” by Dan and Chip Heath. It’s an amazing book that explains the obstacles to and strategies for change.

Imagine a rider sitting on top of the elephant.  The rider guides the elephant in the direction he or she wants to go. Everything goes smoothly, as long as that is the direction the elephant wants to go. If not, the rider does not have enough strength to overpower the elephant and is at the mercy of the elephant.

In their book, Dan and Chip explain that the rider is our willpower and the elephant our emotions/motivation and I’m suggesting, also our unconscious mind.

This helps to explain how come we consciously set goals and yet fail to achieve them. The reason is because our unconscious mind is not in alignment with the goal.

This is really tricky, because by its very nature, unconscious means just that. We are not conscious of what’s going on inside and as Silva Method Facilitator, Jeanine Sciacca says, “our brains are self-correcting machines”.

As an example, say you want to double your current salary. You set the goal. You devise a plan. You start to take action. Your income hasn’t increased. You get discouraged. The reason is because your unconscious wants to keep you safe and protected at your current salary. It self corrects.

In other words, for things to change, they must change in your unconscious first. You must be able to see, hear, feel and act as if the change has already occurred. Personal development guru, Jim Rohn used to say, you need to “become” the type of person that has what you want. He is often quoted as saying, “If someone hands you a million dollars, best you become a millionaire”.

You might have heard, “fake it til you make it” or for children, “play make believe”.

This is exactly what we need to do if we want to achieve what we consciously desire. And just to ram it home, David Bayer explains that most of us think we need a strategy to achieve our goals, but if our beliefs are not in alignment with our goals, we won’t execute properly on the strategy.

If there is something you want to achieve this year, please invest some time to check in with your unconscious and start “acting as if”, so you can rewire your brain so that it is in alignment with what you want.

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