Imagine this. It is made up, by the way.
You’ve just received an unexpected phone call from a supplier and they launch into a tirade about how you haven’t paid your last three invoices.
You know you have.
They are questioning your integrity.
You have a policy of paying suppliers on time.
You start to explain. They cut you off and talk over the top of you.
They are not listening.
They are accusing you of trying to rip them off.
They start yelling at you and abusing you, calling you all sorts of names. (Very unprofessional.)
You reach the point where you’re about to lose it.
And then you remember the Weekly Thought, “The Best Response …. is No Response”.
I admit, sometimes it can be difficult to keep your cool, but keep it you must.
Do not allow yourself to get plugged into their drama.
Active Listening won’t help you in these situations.
You are best to walk away, calm yourself down and then respond when your emotions have subsided.
David Bayer calls it the Primal State when you’re in that fight or flight mode. You can’t think straight. All you are interested in is surviving.
You need to wait until you can get yourself back into what he calls the Powerful State. The state of relaxation and calm. This is the state where you can be creative with your problem solving. You can work through what has happened and come up with a reasonable plan to go back and address it, without getting plugged back in.
Whilst it was a made up example, it applies to any situation where you find yourself getting emotional, angry or frustrated. Give yourself some time.
The best response, at this time, is no response.
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