I’m Fine (WT530)

I’m Fine (WT530)


I'm fine

I was talking with a colleague this week and as we often do, we got into a deep and meaningful conversation about leadership.

We discussed the saying, “If you don’t want the answer, don’t ask the question” and the ramifications of not asking, or worse, asking and then accepting the answer, even if you don’t believe the answer.

As an example, (we’ll call him Ted), explained how his kids will sense that his energy is off or his demeanour is rather gruff and they’ll ask him, “Are you angry daddy?”. His response is usually “No, I’m not angry”, hoping they will leave it at that.

Of course, kids being kids, they don’t leave it at that and they persist, “Are you sure?”. They keep going until he either admits what he is feeling or he changes his demeanour to match what he is saying.

How often do you simply accept the answer someone gives you, even though you have an innate sense that what they are saying is not true, just because it is easier to accept than to question?

Good leaders know their people and they know when what they are saying and what they are doing or how they are showing up is out of alignment.

Good leaders are present; not distracted. They are aware. They see, they listen and they enquire.

Good leaders have taken the journey from being totally unaware to becoming aware of themselves and their team.

They give themselves permission to ask and to follow up. They don’t take the easy road to simply accept an answer at face value.

Are you a good leader or do you aspire to be? If so, you won’t accept “I’m fine” for an answer when your senses tell you, they are not fine.

Remember, it takes courage to not leave it alone. It takes courage to ask and it takes courage to confront.

What will you do next time you ask and the answer you get is “I’m fine”?

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I’m Leaving (WT528)

I’m Leaving (WT528)


WT 528 I'm Leaving

When you’ve got good people, the last thing you want to hear is “I’m leaving”. 

Talking with one of my rockstars this week, we discussed the importance of knowing your people so you don’t get blindsided when they give their notice.

“The more I know about the people I lead, the easier it is for me”, she said.

Knowing your people is the second milestone on our Blueprint for Business Freedom. 

When you know your people, you know what motivates them. You know what they want and don’t want. You understand what’s going on for them out of work. You know what’s important to them.

Think about your team. What do you know about them? 

Are they in a relationship?  

Do they have kids? 

What do they do for fun? 

What are their goals; at work and out of work? 

What is their Love Language; how do they like to be appreciated? 

How do they like to learn? 

How do they like to be managed? 

What do they like about the work they do? 

What don’t they like? 

What are they good at? 

What are they not good at? 

Are they ambitious? 

The more you know about your people, the more you’ll understand them and the more you understand them, the easier it will be to look for a win win situation to help them get what they want, so you can get what you want. 

One of my former bosses, Kip McGrath, was a master at knowing his people. I started working with him in August 2000. By December 2000, he gave me a $5000 pay increase. He also knew I was ambitious and I loved to learn and grow and develop.

A few months later, he came to me with a proposal. “I’ll give you 3 years of management training if you give me 5 years of service.”

There was no written agreement. It was a handshake. We agreed on a number of 6 monthly milestones and each time I met them, my pay and responsibility increased.

Within 3 years, I was a senior member of the executive team and had tripled my income.

Kip was such an amazing boss and mentor. He knew his people and he always found ways to create a win win situation for his employees and the business.

Back to you. How well do you know your people?

Would you see it coming before they announce “I’m leaving”?

Stop Pushing Me (WT403)

Stop Pushing Me (WT403)


WT 403 Stop pushing me

When I started High School, it was “cool” for girls to shave their legs. It was a long time ago before waxing became the norm. 

I asked my mum if I could borrow her razor. 

“What do you want that for?” she asked. 

“To shave my legs of course”, expecting that she should have known that all the cool girls shave their legs. 

“No! You’re not shaving your legs,” she almost screamed at me. 

“Why not? Everybody else is,” I cried. 

“You’re not and that’s all there is to it,” and with that I was dismissed. 

Now being the strong willed, pig headed and rebellious character that I can be, what do you think I did? 

You guessed it. I went into the bathroom and I shaved my legs. 

Not content to just silently call victory to myself, I flaunted the act by going and standing next to my mother who was on her hands and knees cleaning up a spill on the floor. 

I simply stood there until she figured something was up. Without looking up at me, she turned to face my legs, ran her hand up my leg to make sure she wasn’t just seeing things and then slapped my leg so hard that it stung and repeated, “I told you not to shave your legs”. 

Mission accomplished, I grinned and walked off. 

And I’ve been regretting that decision for over 40 years.  

So what has this story got to do with “Stop Pushing Me”? 

For me, it’s about knowing myself and being able to respond rather than react. 

My rebellious streak has gotten me into trouble (a lot). 

If I feel pushed to do something or am told I am not allowed to do something, my rebellious nature will arc up. 

Thankfully, over the years I have come to recognise it and have learned to manage myself with awareness and self talk, although the initial feelings can still be quite strong. 

And why is this the topic for this week’s thought? 

Following on from last week’s thought, “Every team needs a leader”, it’s important for you to know your people and to know when to encourage, push or support. 

It can be tricky to know the difference and timing is everything. The last thing you want to do is push someone when they are at breaking point and needing some care and attention and by the same token, neither do you want to let them off the hook when they do need to step up and take responsibility and do the work. 

You’ll know which way to go if you tune in to your people and listen to what they are telling you, both verbally and non-verbally. 

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go shave my legs.

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