Don’t Let Your G.O.A.L Become Your G.A.O.L (WT732)

Don’t Let Your G.O.A.L Become Your G.A.O.L (WT732)


WT 732 Don't let your Goal becone your Gaol

This week’s topic might be a little thought provoking.

I hope so.

I received a link from my colleague Lee Woodward to listen to an interview he did with Charles Tarbey. Lee is widely known in the real estate industry and has been training principals and sales people for over 30 years. Charles is the Century 21 Australasia Chairman.

Charles explained to Lee how destructive goals can be and how goals are really short term objectives on the way to achieving our dreams.   Link below if you’d like to listen to the interview.

As it turns out, I was coaching with a client, we’ll call him Barry, a couple of days later who was concerned he didn’t have goals. He was questioning whether he wasn’t allowing himself to have goals or maybe he wasn’t destined to achieve them.

This led to a very robust conversation about goals, goal setting and mindset.

In fact, it was Barry who said, your goals can become your gaol.

I thought this was very profound and the reason I put dots in between the letters in the heading is to distinguish between the spelling of goals and gaols.

At times we can become so fixated on the goal and how it is meant to be achieved that we lose sight of the fact that goals are there to propel us forward on our journey.

Goals set the destination, however it’s the journey to the destination that we remember. If you’re like most people, as soon as you have achieved something you wanted, you quickly reach for something else.

So here’s another concept to add to the mix, that of “precession”.

Buckminster Fuller defined precession as “the effect of bodies in motion on other bodies in motion”.

Precession is the action that occurs at ninety degrees to bodies in motion.

When applied to goals, the concept of precession means that we can set out to achieve a goal and find that we achieve it in a totally different way to what we expected (i.e. ninety degrees).

For example, a young man decides to go to Europe to find a girlfriend. He applies for a job as a tour guide. About a month before he is due to leave, he meets a girl and then has a dilemma.  Does he go to Europe to find a girlfriend, or has the goal been achieved already and he doesn’t need to go?

This is precession. We set a goal. We set the direction. We decide the how and start taking action and then somehow, miraculously, the goal is achieved, in a completely different way to what we expected.

What are your thoughts?

What do you think a goal is?

Do you believe it can become a gaol for you?

For me, I like what Charles Tarbey had to say.  Keep dreaming and set short term objectives to get into action.

Here’s the link to listen to the interview:

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Put Your Big Girl Pants On (WT439)

Put Your Big Girl Pants On (WT439)


WT 439 Put your big girl pants on

Years ago, I was mentored by the fabulous Mitch Axelrod. Mitch wrote the book, “The New Game of Selling” and was teaching me how to conduct a sales call. 

He had an amazing philosophy and system that completely resonated with me; “look for the highest and best outcome for all,” he said, including me. 

As all great coaches and mentors, Mitch wasn’t just interested in teaching me the information. He wanted to see me put it into action.

I had a sales call booked that very day.

Mitch made me practice asking the questions.

I could do it with Mitch but I was terrified to put it into action with “real live people” (not that Mitch was a blow up doll).

Frustrated with me, Mitch challenged me and to this day I can hear his words. In fact, I’ve even used them myself with my own coaching clients.

“Shirley, put your big girl panties on and go and have the conversation,” he demanded.

I gulped. I knew what he was saying was right and yet I was terrified.

What if I stuffed it up?

What if I said the wrong thing?

What if they didn’t like me?

What if they said “No” and rejected me?

What if they said “Yes” and I got the job?

Oh my! The dialogue that went through my head.

Knees knocking, I did put my big girl pants on and showed up for the appointment.

They said, “Yes”.

I was so grateful; grateful to Mitch, grateful to my new clients and grateful for the work.

It truly was the highest and best outcome for all.

And so you might be wondering why I am writing about this today.

Well, guess who got to coach and mentor and share Mitch’s famous words?

I can’t wait to hear the outcome for my client.

And I’m now realising that the universe uses me to talk to you. Is this the message you need to hear today?

How about you?  Do you need to step up and put on your big girl or big boy pants?

We can’t stay little forever.

A New Way to Look at Goal Setting (WT440)

A New Way to Look at Goal Setting (WT440)


WT 440 A new way to look at Goal setting

Do you find that you set a goal and then seem to procrastinate on taking the action to actually achieve the goal? 

Have you ever felt overwhelmed when setting goals because you think you have to set 3 goals for every area of your life and then find you’ve got 15-21 goals in front of you? 

And remember the SMART acronym for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timeframe? 

I do. 

This week I learned a new technique from Coach Mary Ayers and I thought I’d share it with you. 

Mary came up with an acronym for GOALS: 






If you’re like me, when I set a goal, I often go to my head and “try” to work out “how” it’s going to happen.  Mary’s way is much easier and much more fun. 

Think about how you feel when you love someone or something? 

Don’t you want to spend time with that special person or doing the thing you love? 

Katrina, my hair stylist has recently fallen in love with bare foot skiing. She can’t get enough of it. Her goal is to qualify for the nationals in early 2019.  

Because she loves it, she doesn’t complain about getting up at 5:00am to practice. She doesn’t complain about the bruises on her body from all the stacks. 

She’s doing what she loves. 

Think about yourself, when you love something you can’t wait to spend time doing it. It makes you feel good. Now compare this to the traditional way of setting goals and ask yourself whether the goals make you feel good. Here’s the “aha” for me; we don’t like doing things that don’t make us feel good, ie. for me, that means procrastination and no action, means no achievement. 

According to Mary, if you Go Out and Love Something, you will want to do it and of course the measurement or achievement of the goal comes from the action. 

Think about someone you love. On some level, you’ll be asking yourself, “How can I express my love?” Mary gives the example of taking someone out for a special evening. To do this, you have to decide where to go, what time, make a reservation, determine how you will get there and get home. These are all action steps you need to take to achieve the goal and here’s the magic, when you love something, you enjoy and often get excited about taking the action – it’s not a chore and it doesn’t make you feel bad. 

This week I’m looking at my goals and culling them down to just two and then I’m going to reassess the action steps I can take to achieve them and make sure that these steps are things I love to do. 

How about you?  Do you love your current goals? Are you happily taking action? If not, how about resetting them so you can Go Out And Love Something.

What Do You Need to Measure? (WT423)

What Do You Need to Measure? (WT423)


WT 423 What do you need to measure?

You’ve heard the saying, “What gets measured, gets managed”. 

I confess I didn’t quite understand the impact of this statement until recently. 

I set myself a goal of doing exercise at least 4 times each week. 

Of course I never feel like doing exercise; it’s very easy for me to make something else more important. Consequently I wasn’t meeting my goal. 

I decided to use the calendar on the wall and simply place a “tick” on the days I did exercise. 

It soon became very obvious how many days I was wimping out. 

Being able to see the ticks (or lack of) actually started to motivate me and soon it became a game between Ross and me, as to which one of us got to place the tick on the calendar. 

Last month I met my goal and exercised 4 times every week, even 5 times on some weeks. 

I was astounded at how simple this was. 

I have now added a few more things to the calendar to remind me to do them. 

How about you? 

What do you need to measure? 

What’s your system and if you need to, who can you ask to hold you accountable?

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