He’s Not Getting The Job (WT768)

He’s Not Getting The Job (WT768)

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by Shirley Dalton | 14 Mar, 2025 | Blog, Business, Communication Skills

WT 768 He's not getting the job

Recently we had some storm damage, nothing like Cyclone Alfred up north, but enough to have to get the bay windows resealed and fixed.

We used Hipages to request quotes from qualified tradespeople.

One man called straight away on the Friday. We’ll call him Jack. Jack quoted $850 to come and do the work the next day, (Saturday) which was forecast to be raining.

We were a little surprised that:

  1. He quoted without looking at the job
  2. He could get there the next day.

What thoughts would you have about a tradesperson who isn’t booked out weeks or months in advance?

Anyway, Ross told him another person was coming to look at the job on Monday and that he would let him know.

Jack called again on the Saturday to see if he could come and do the job.

Ross reminded him that he had organised another quote for Monday.

Jack called again Monday morning.

He either didn’t hear or didn’t listen.

When Ross told me about Jack, I responded with, “Well he’s not getting the job.”

Jack might have been a good tradesperson.

Jack’s quote might have been fair and reasonable. It was actually half of what we ended up paying.

Jack didn’t get the job because he didn’t listen.

Ross also had a similar experience with another supplier.

Frustrated at the end of a phone call, he said, “I still haven’t finished a sentence”.

Listening is different to hearing.

You use your ears to hear. You use all of you to listen and best of all, your relationships will improve out of sight if you learn to Actively Listen.

Active Listening is a skill and a skill I wish everyone would learn.

When you Active Listen to others you are demonstrating that you heard and understood what they said. This means you repeat back to them what you think they said.
It doesn’t mean you are agreeing with what they say.

When people know that you heard and understood them they can move on and share more with you. They also trust that you did in fact hear them, listen to them and take in what they were telling you.

Your mission this week is to check yourself.

Are you behaving like Jack or the other supplier and not letting your clients, colleagues or family members finish their sentences?

Are you waiting to speak rather than listening?

Are you talking over them?

I sincerely hope not, because you may find that you too are frustrating others and therefore don’t get the job.

P.S.  Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thought delivered directly to their inbox.

Go to https://shirleydalton.com/Weekly-Thoughts.

A Hug and An Ear (WT747)

A Hug and An Ear (WT747)

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by Shirley Dalton | 18 Oct, 2024 | Blog, Communication Skills, Leadership

WT 747 A hug and an ear

Every now and then we need a little reminder of the skills we’ve learnt that we’ve forgotten.

I was talking with a past Leading Yourself and Leading Others graduate this week.

We’ll call him Max.

Max was sharing some challenges that he and his family were experiencing.

Max is a “Driver” personality, so I know he’s focused on what he can “do”.

I asked him, “How do you think you can support your family?”

He replied, “I think I’m fairly supportive. I’m doing what I can to help relieve the burden (of tasks).”

He then shared a story with me about how he had done his best to encourage one of his family members with an upbeat pep talk.

Max has a huge heart and he loves his family very much.

“Are your family members huggers?” I asked.

“Yes, they are”, he said.

“Hmmm”, I replied. “You know, sometimes we just need a hug and an ear.”

I remembered the day I left the hospital after visiting my dad at lunch time (whom had had a car accident) and the head nurse called me into her office and basically told me he was going to die.

I was in total shock and when I eventually finished work for the day and went home, I drove the car into the garage. I barely made it up the stairs and when I got to the top of the stairs, I burst into tears.

Seeing the state I was in, Ross quickly came over. I collapsed into his arms and sobbed.

He didn’t need to say anything.

He didn’t ask any questions.

The hug and his ear was enough.

Learning to listen, really listen, what we call Active Listening is something participants learn in the Leading Yourself and Leading Others experience.

When you actively listen to someone, you are demonstrating that you heard and understood their message.  You don’t have to agree with it.  Your job is simply to give them feedback on what it is you think you understood.

When I say “simply”, this is a skill and it is not so simple to master. It takes concentration and patience and practise. Participants have to learn not to jump in with solutions. Often that’s about them feeling good about themselves that they have solved your problem.

If you’d like to improve your listening and communication skills, consider registering for the next Leading Yourself and Leading Others experience which starts Friday 22nd November. (See link below.)

You’ll be amazed at how much better your relationships will be when you have the awareness that sometimes all you need to do is share a hug and an ear.

P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thought delivered directly to their inbox.

Go to https://shirleydalton.com/Weekly-Thoughts.

I Can Hear You (WT558)

I Can Hear You (WT558)

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by Shirley Dalton | 5 Mar, 2021 | Blog, Mindset

WT 558 I Can Hear You

When you’re having a conversation with people, do you listen to what they are saying or are you waiting to speak?

In our Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience we dedicate an entire day to developing our listening skills. It’s amazing to me how most people’s listening skills are so poor.

The first micro-skill we teach for listening is to be quiet; to not interrupt and to show attending behaviours of nodding your head etc. to show that you are actually hearing and listening to what the other is saying.

This skill is so important because it enables you to really understand what the other is saying and that is my point for today.

When I listen to you, I can hear your beliefs; your limiting beliefs and your empowering beliefs.

When I hear your beliefs, I can predict the results or lack of, that you will achieve.

I find this fascinating. People always tell you what’s going on for them, if you listen.

In other words, our beliefs are like biases that we have. We make a decision about something then we look for the evidence to prove ourselves right.

Here’s a couple of limiting beliefs, see if you can relate to any of them:

  1. Nobody at work listens to what I have to say
  2. I’ll never get a pay rise.

With these limiting beliefs I can predict your results:

  1. You won’t speak up and therefore others won’t get to hear what you have to say.
  2. You won’t do what’s required in order to get the pay rise, and therefore won’t be offered more money.

I can hear you. I listen to what you say and I can predict your results. By the same token, I can look at your results and predict your beliefs and my own.

How about you? Are you really listening to what others are telling you? Do you know what they’re thinking or what they believe? Often they aren’t even aware of their beliefs. Are you?

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