As humans, we need to make sense of our world and what happens to us.

In order to close the loops in our minds we tend to make up stories to explain what’s happening to us.

Let me give you an example:

Ross and went to the gym and later, over coffee, Ross asked me how I felt on a particular machine at the gym that morning.

“Ok”, I said. “Why do you ask?”

“You know the settings were different on each side of the machine?” he sort of asked but really told me.

“Oh. I just thought my left arm was weaker than my right.”

He laughed. “No, the settings were completely different, which caused one arm to work harder than the other.”

One thing led to another and we found ourselves discussing how much we make up in our own minds to explain events.

The conversation then moved to the work by Michael A. Singer from his book “The Untethered Soul” where Michael explains how our minds work and how it is futile to fight with our mind.

Essentially, we are asking our minds to make us feel okay; to make it so that everyone likes us and so the mind has to think about this constantly. It argues with itself and according to Singer, “If you fight with your mind, you lose.”

You might try suppressing the thoughts, but that only works for a little while and eventually the thoughts surface and come back at you at a later time.

The way to resolve the issue is to observe your mind. Become the one who watches. When you observe you can see that your mind is working overtime to make everything ok.

The trick is to gently disengage from it. Separate yourself from your thinking mind, because it is not you. You are the one who watches the mind.

You won’t quiet the mind, so don’t try. Rather, don’t listen. Relax and simply observe.

Your mission this week is to observe the stories your mind is making up.

Observe the fights that occur in your mind and simply let go.

Let me know how you go.

P.S. Our next Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience and Loyal Lieutenant Masterclass Series will both start in February 2024. Early bird discounts apply, so keep an eye out for more information to come.

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

How did you wake up today?

How do you feel?

Thinking I was being funny, when a yoga teacher asked me one time, (very early in the morning), how I felt, I answered that “I didn’t know yet”. I now realise the folly of this type of comment. It’s not funny.

I can’t remember which book or program I’ve been working on lately, (I often have multiple going at the same time) but one of them gave me a real wake up call about my language when I start the day.

 According to the teachings, most of us depend on external cues to decide how the day is going to go for us.

Ouch!

As an example, say you get on the scales. Depending on the number you are looking at, you may feel happy, sad, angry or indifferent.

Your emotions are being dictated by external factors.

Instead, how about we decide how we’re going to feel when we wake up and how the day will go from there.

Ross and I have just completed Louise Hay’s 21 Day Mirror Work Challenge. The objective is to get ourselves to love ourselves more; to be less critical and judgemental because if we criticise ourselves, we’re more likely to be criticising and judging others.

When we criticise and judge others, we’re not happy and grateful and when we’re not happy and grateful, we attract shitty things into our lives.

So, in this short but very very powerful thought this week, I want to you to start to notice a couple of things:

1. Are you choosing internal or external factors to determine how your day goes?
2. Are you being kind to yourself and loving yourself when you look in the mirror or are you criticising and judging yourself?
3. Are you choosing to be grateful for what you have and what you expect to come or are you pushing it away by being critical and judgemental?

That’s it.  A week of awareness and if you find you’re on the critical and ungrateful side, simply be aware and change your thoughts and focus.  This will change your feelings and your feelings and thoughts together will change what you experience.

P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

Last week I shared that I was anxious about going to the gym.

I also mentioned that I had been waiting for over a week for someone to call me to book in a training session.

Here’s the rest of the story.

If you’re in business or customer service, don’t do this:

On the day we joined, I asked if someone could show me how to use the equipment.

The lady on reception said to go on to the website and book in a session.

A few days later I went to the website.

I couldn’t see where to book it in.

I sent a message through the contact page.

I got an automatic reply and a personal reply from the lady on reception.

“Someone would call me within 3 business days.”

It was Thursday, so I figured Monday or Tuesday at the latest.

Monday and Tuesday came and went.

I had been holding off going to the gym, waiting to be shown how to safely use the equipment.

I couldn’t wait any longer, so I went on the Thursday. It was now a week since I had submitted my request.

I mentioned this to the lady on reception.

“I’ll follow it up”, she said.

The next day we went back to the gym.

We were heading out the door and the receptionist called to us, “I followed up your request”, she said.

“Oh good, thank you”, I replied.

During my workout I had noticed signs with contact details and information about the trainers.

I told the receptionist I had noted the numbers.

“I got in touch with Mary (not her real name)”, she said.

“She’s full up and can’t take on any more clients, so James (not his real name), will hopefully give you a call today.”

“Ok, thanks.”

The day came and went and James didn’t call.

Finally on Saturday, I got an sms message from James.

Using SMS is not my ideal form of communication, however James is young and that seems to be the way they communicate, so we organised to meet the following Monday.

James showed me through the equipment and was quite patient as I wrote my notes in an old fashioned exercise book with a pen.

Now that you have the background information, the point I want to make is “don’t do that”. Don’t do what Mary did.

Even though she was fully booked, the courteous thing to do would have been to contact me, even by SMS and say, “I’m sorry I can’t help you. I am fully booked. I’ll organise for another trainer to help you.”

Communication is key. Even if it’s bad news, it’s better than no news.

Don’t do that.

Don’t leave your potential clients waiting.

Mary might be the best trainer in the world and based on that, I wouldn’t recommend her. In fact, I’d share my negative experience, (as I am now).

It doesn’t take much to communicate with people, especially potential clients.

Look after people. Help people.

When I was working at the tutoring organisation we trained the franchisees to be honest in their assessments of the children. If the children didn’t need tutoring, to say so. One franchisee did this and told us that as a result of being honest, his potential client (who did not sign up) referred 5 others who did enrol.

Don’t ignore your potential customers or current customers.

Honest and timely communication goes a long long way.

Don’t do what Mary did.

P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

Maybe this resonates with you.

The alarm went off and I hit the snooze button.

I was reluctant to get out of bed.

“I’m nervous”, I turned to Ross.

“How come?” he asked.

Today was the day I was to start going to a new gym.

Ross had been going to another one for about a year. I hadn’t been to a gym since we started travelling in the motorhome back in 2019.

I was anxious.

I had been waiting for a week for a personal trainer to get back to me because I wanted a program and to be shown how to use the equipment. I’m still waiting (that’s another business story).

I shared all my insecurities with Ross.

“Don’t overthink it, Shirl”, he said.

He was right. I was in my head, imagining all sorts of negative scenarios.

“I am old. I’m fat. I’m unfit. I don’t know how to use the equipment. I don’t want to hurt myself”, the list went on.

“You’re overthinking it.”

“Just get ready and we’ll go”, encouraged Ross.

I was surprised that a pair of my old gym pants actually fit. Well that was a positive.

I was still anxious as we entered the gym.

I got on the walker. At least I could manage that.

As I walked, I paid attention to the others in the gym, more to see what equipment they were using and how to use it.

I was encouraged. There were a number of people in Ross’ and my age group and they were doing their own thing.

They weren’t looking at me. They were more interested in their own workout and many had earphones in.

I started to relax.

I got on the elliptical and managed not to fall off.

I had a go at using some of the equipment, being mindful not to overdo it.

I started to enjoy it.

I could feel my body respond.

This isn’t so bad.

This is actually ok.

I’m happy to come back again.

How often do we psych ourselves out of something through fear and negative imagination?

How often do the things we worry about not even come to pass?

It’s a reminder to all of us to heed Ross’ advice – “don’t overthink it”.

If you find yourself in this situation, let go of the negative thoughts and just start.

Like me, you might find it’s actually pretty good and you wasted your time and valuable creative energy overthinking the negative.

P. S. This month we celebrated 17 years in business, so be on the lookout for a celebratory message in the next few days. There might just be something for you to celebrate too.

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

Have you ever bought an online program and then done nothing with it?

I have.

Plenty of them.

Over the past few weeks I’ve been focussing on growing the coaching side of my business. It’s a real passion of mine.

I love to see the transformation in people as they grow and evolve and move towards what they want.

Years ago, I purchased a program to help me grow my coaching business.

I listened to a few of the lessons but couldn’t bring myself to take action.

I forgot about the program and thought that my membership had lapsed. That was until, seemingly out of the blue, I started getting reminder emails for the group coaching calls.

What?

Wow!

I am so appreciative and grateful for how the universe, infinite intelligence, God, whatever you want to call it, seems to show up at just the right time.

I opened up my membership. There seemed to be even more programs there than I thought I had signed up for.

Thank you!

And now I’m ready.  I’m diving into the program like there’s no tomorrow.

Have you ever noticed that for most, it’s not until we’re in enough pain that we start to take action?

And when we do take action, the universe delivers.

This week, your mission is to take action.

Acknowledge the pain you’re feeling and decide to do something about it.

Don’t prolong the negative feelings that are holding you back.

Use the pain as your motivator and get going.

And if you think I might be able to help you with some coaching, then please connect with me.

My mission is to inspire, educate and support you to be, do, have and feel what you want.

Don’t waste another minute missing out on what you want.

P. S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.