It’s Boring (WT712)

It’s Boring (WT712)

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by Shirley Dalton | 16 Feb, 2024 | Blog, Mindset

WT 712 It's boring

I was talking with a friend this week.

She asked how I was going at the gym.

“OK”, I said.

“Only just OK?” she asked.

“It’s boring”, I blurted out.

“Boring?”

“Yes, I do the same exercises every time and I find it boring. It’s the same with some yoga classes I’ve attended as well. The same thing week after week after week.”

“Hmmm.  Do you think that some people might like that? They might like the security of knowing what they will be doing each time and also improving as they practise and repeat?” she enquired.

“I suppose so, but that’s not me. I need variety. In one way, that’s why I like yoga because you can do so many different poses, depending on what you feel like at the time.”

I’m the same with breakfast. I can only eat the same thing so many days in a week before I get bored and have to change that too.  Ross is happy to eat cereal every day of the week.

The conversation moved on.

We’re all different. We all have different personalities and different needs and wants.

I remember doing a systems project one time with a finance team in real estate. They loved the fact that they knew what they were doing at any minute of the day on any given day. For example, at 9:00am they started the bank downloads. At 9:30am they started reconciling the entries. At 11:00am they stopped for morning tea. Every second Thursday the processed the pays etc. etc. etc.

I was impressed with how much they liked their structure and routine.

I couldn’t bear it.

How about you?

Are you a routine sort of person?

Do you like knowing what’s coming next? (The Counsellors and Advisors in the REACH profiling system.)

Or, are you like me, a Coach or a Driver, who loves spontaneity, variety and change?

Either answer is ok.

It’s about knowing yourself and the people around you and finding ways to satisfy those needs.

I realise now why I loved being on Relief Staff, 40 odd years ago. I travelled around the region and relieved in various motor registries when the permanent staff were on leave. I loved meeting new people. I loved learning about new locations and I wasn’t there long enough to get involved in the office politics and I didn’t know from one month to the next where I would be working. It could all change in an instant. (It’s also where I got a lot of my systems training and mindset from because I could go into any motor registry in New South Wales and do the job. No training required because they were all the same.)

How about you? What is your preference and what ways have you found to satisfy yourself?

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Should I Smile? (WT710)

Should I Smile? (WT710)

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by Shirley Dalton | 2 Feb, 2024 | Blog, Mindset

WT 710 Should I Smile

You might think that’s a bit of a silly question.

Should I smile?

You might be thinking, “Yes, of course, you should smile”.

And I agree. It’s nice when people smile at us first or return a smile.

What do you do at the gym and other similar places where people are doing their own thing and sometimes your eyes happen to meet?

Do you smile?

I’m usually the first one to smile or wave.

In fact, years ago, Ross and I were driving home one afternoon, and as we came around a corner, I waved at some of the neighbours on their veranda.

“Do you know them?” he asked.

“No.”

“Then why are you waving?”

“Because I’m having a game. Every time I drive past and see them, I wave. I’m waiting to see how long it takes them to wave back.”

“Whatever”, he sighed.

It took a couple of weeks but they did eventually wave and smile. I didn’t get to speak to them, ever, but we had a good waving and smiling relationship.

So, back to the gym.

I don’t know what to do.

Sometimes I smile at people and they seem to look right through me and that triggers my fear of rejection, so then I look down and tell myself not to smile at anyone.

And I can’t help it.

I smile or at least I want to. My mouth sort of half turns up, as if I’m going to smile but I can’t give a full smile though, until I get some sort of sign that it might be welcome. So I suppose I end up looking a bit goofy.

Occasionally someone smiles back, but not very often.

What do you do?

In situations like this, it can become awkward.

And to get more complicated, some days people return a smile and on other days they do not.

I find it really uncomfortable to not smile.

For me, smiling and saying “hello” is a friendly gesture.

I like to acknowledge people; let them know I’ve seen them, they’re important.

When we travelled in the motorhome, we were surprised and delighted at how “friendly” people from Tasmania were; even the young kids would walk past, look up at us, smile and say “hello”.

When we travelled back and stayed on the south coast of NSW, it was a totally different experience. We kept looking at people to smile and say “hello” but the majority of people just looked away before our eyes could meet.

So back to my question, should I smile?

Do you smile or are you the type of person who prefers not to make eye contact?

What are your thoughts on the topic?

P. S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

The Trick Is Not To Resist (WT708)

The Trick Is Not To Resist (WT708)

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by Shirley Dalton | 19 Jan, 2024 | Blog, Mindset

WT708 The Trick Is Not To Resist

OMG! I’m SUPER excited.

I got up early this week to join a webinar training with David and Carol Bayer talking about Imagination, Visualisation and Actualisation (IVA).

I want to share the most important point I took away from the training, “the trick is not to resist”.

What this means, is that when we are imagining and visualising the things we want, in what David and Carol refer to as the 4th dimension, we often start comparing that to our current 3rd dimension reality of the 5-senses and therefore we start “resisting” what we want to manifest.

Resistance can take the form of “control”.  We can’t see “how” it can happen, so we don’t believe or have faith and therefore we actively work against ourselves and stop it from actualising.

Another form of resistance comes in our feelings of not being worthy or deserving. As David says, “everyone has the right to imagine” and Carol says, “there are no rules in the 4th dimension”, so our lack of self worth actually prevents us from creating what we want.

Today’s message was a powerful one for me and I trust it will be for you too.

Carol gave examples of people whose “situations” included being homeless for a period of time but that didn’t stop them from creating what they wanted.  If you’re current situation doesn’t match what you desire, no problem. Simply say to yourself and anyone who asks what you are doing, “I’m in the process of building my ……….”(fill in the blank for whatever it is you want).

For example, Jennifer Lopez slept on the couch in her studio after leaving home because she didn’t want to go to college. She wanted to be a dancer. Paul Mitchell was homeless while he was building his shampoo business (in his mind) until the 4th dimension rearranged things for him to string things together and manifest.

It’s one thing to imagine and visualise and feel what you want to create, the trick is not to resist what you are creating.

As Carol and David say, we are constantly creating because we are constantly thinking, speaking, feeling and imagining.  Most of us however, are usually imagining the things we don’t want or speaking about the things we don’t want and therefore that’s exactly what we create.

It’s time to understand how the world works. It’s time to understand how our bodies and minds work and how we are vibrational beings.

The trick is not to resist.

Goosebumps.  How about you?

What are you currently building? What are you currently working on?

P. S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

The Inspiration Call (WT707)

The Inspiration Call (WT707)

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by Shirley Dalton | 12 Jan, 2024 | Blog, Mindset

WT 707 The Inspiration Call

I was coaching with one of my fabulous clients this week. We’ll call her Paris.

Paris had booked in for a coaching session around November last year but rescheduled until early January.

She had a lot going on with work, kids, extended family and Christmas.

As it turns out, there was a bit more going on and Paris admitted that she had decided she wanted to take action from our previous coaching session and then update me with the progress she had made.

An Advisor personality, Paris likes to research and analyse all the data. It can sometimes take her (and most Advisors) a while before she swings into action.

I was super impressed with the action she had taken in such a short time.

It was inspiring.

Paris mentioned that she appreciated the feeling of being held accountable and at times how forthright my feedback could be.

“I seem to respond well to being told the truth and challenged”, she reflected.

As we neared the end of the session, Paris shared that she will book in again when she has made further progress. She didn’t want to use the word ‘brag’, but that’s exactly what she wants to do.

She wants to be able to share what action and achievements she has made between sessions.

I love this spirit and this attitude. Rather than a coaching session or accountability call, I suggested we call our sessions “Inspiration Calls” because that’s what they are.

The sessions inspire Paris to take the action she needs and when she does and gets the results, it inspires me too. Win Win.

So, how about you?

Have you got someone who is willing to call you on your behaviour or mindset when you need it?

Have you got someone who can hold you accountable, even if for the little things you want to achieve?

As an example, Ross and I hold each other accountable to go to the gym.  If either of us doesn’t go, the other one feels vindicated to not go either. As a result, we encourage ourselves to go.

Having someone in your corner is critical. I don’t know many people who have the discipline, drive and perseverance to do it all alone.

This week, I’d like you to really think about who supports you and cheers you on and tells you the truth. Who inspires you? Whether it’s a family member, friend, colleague or professional, when you know who it is, heap gratitude on them. Show them how much you appreciate who they are and what they do for you.  Odds are, if you don’t tell them or show them, they won’t know.

P. S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

The Rider and The Elephant (WT706)

The Rider and The Elephant (WT706)

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by Shirley Dalton | 5 Jan, 2024 | Blog, Mindset

WT 706 The Rider and the Elephant

It’s the start of a new year and most of us find ourselves looking forward to a bright sunny year ahead.

Consciously we set intentions or goals for the year ahead and for many of us, soon become disappointed as the year progresses and we have not achieved what we wanted and we give up.

For some, they know this is going to happen so they go straight past the disappointment stage and refuse to set goals, a.k.a. “new year’s resolutions”.

So what does “the rider and the elephant” have to do with setting goals?

As it turns out, everything.

The rider and the elephant is a metaphor used in the book, “Switch” by Dan and Chip Heath. It’s an amazing book that explains the obstacles to and strategies for change.

Imagine a rider sitting on top of the elephant.  The rider guides the elephant in the direction he or she wants to go. Everything goes smoothly, as long as that is the direction the elephant wants to go. If not, the rider does not have enough strength to overpower the elephant and is at the mercy of the elephant.

In their book, Dan and Chip explain that the rider is our willpower and the elephant our emotions/motivation and I’m suggesting, also our unconscious mind.

This helps to explain how come we consciously set goals and yet fail to achieve them. The reason is because our unconscious mind is not in alignment with the goal.

This is really tricky, because by its very nature, unconscious means just that. We are not conscious of what’s going on inside and as Silva Method Facilitator, Jeanine Sciacca says, “our brains are self-correcting machines”.

As an example, say you want to double your current salary. You set the goal. You devise a plan. You start to take action. Your income hasn’t increased. You get discouraged. The reason is because your unconscious wants to keep you safe and protected at your current salary. It self corrects.

In other words, for things to change, they must change in your unconscious first. You must be able to see, hear, feel and act as if the change has already occurred. Personal development guru, Jim Rohn used to say, you need to “become” the type of person that has what you want. He is often quoted as saying, “If someone hands you a million dollars, best you become a millionaire”.

You might have heard, “fake it til you make it” or for children, “play make believe”.

This is exactly what we need to do if we want to achieve what we consciously desire. And just to ram it home, David Bayer explains that most of us think we need a strategy to achieve our goals, but if our beliefs are not in alignment with our goals, we won’t execute properly on the strategy.

If there is something you want to achieve this year, please invest some time to check in with your unconscious and start “acting as if”, so you can rewire your brain so that it is in alignment with what you want.

Another Year – It’s a Wrap (WT705)

Another Year – It’s a Wrap (WT705)

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by Shirley Dalton | 29 Dec, 2023 | Blog, Leadership, Mindset

WT 705 Another Year - It's a Wrap

Well, here we are again at the end of another year.

As we look back over the year, I encourage you to focus on the good and positive and be grateful for all that 2023 brought you.

Even the things that were not to your preference.

As David Bayer says, “Life is always working for us, even if at times, it is not to our preference”.

When I think about this mantra, I’m reminded that the Universe or God or Infinite Intelligence (whatever name you prefer) is working tirelessly to bring us what we want. 

From our perspective here on earth, we can’t see all the moving parts that have to be organised in order for us to get what we want.

In fact, just a couple of weeks ago, I sternly reminded Mary (not her real name) to “shut up and let the universe do its job”.

Mary is a great student who actions the feedback. She’s not one to blame or argue, rather she acknowledges her role in co-creating what happens in her life and within a few weeks she rang me to tell me all her good news and how the Universe had delivered.

Remember, our job is to know the what and the why and take inspired action. Our job is not to know the how.

We simply can’t know all the moving parts, let alone control them, so as Esther Hicks says, “Hand it over to the General Manager”.

If you’re up for another great read along these lines and looking to increase your prosperity in 2024, then I highly recommend “The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity” by Edwene Gaines or even better, it’s a great listen on Audible or other similar program.

As you close 2023 and look to 2024, invest some time to write down what you want for 2024 and then close your eyes and imagine receiving what you want. As you close your eyes, feel what you’ll feel when you have it. Hear what you’ll hear when you have it as well as see it.

The quickest way to bring what you want is to feel as if you already have it (because you do) and be grateful for the gift that’s on its way.

Let me know what’s on your bucket list and let’s cross them off at the end of 2024.

As an example, Ross and I have booked a trip to South Africa in April 2024. So far I’ve registered for a 4 day course and booked the airfare.  I can’t wait to see how the Universe delivers an amazing trip for us as we cross off our bucket list item to visit a game park and see the animals up close.

Thanks so much for being part of my community this year. I look forward to continuing the journey with you in 2024.

Happy new year!

P. S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

P.P.S.  START 2024 BY DEVELOPING YOURSELF AND GROWING

BRAND NEW 10 Week online Leadership Fundamentals experience starts Tuesday 16th January 2024. Sessions are LIVE and led by myself. There’s absolutely no reason why you can’t find 90 minutes a week to improve yourself and your leadership skills.  You don’t have to be in a formal leadership position at work. These skills are life skills.  If you’re interested, contact me and let me know and we’ll organise a time to chat. Be part of another great team and get the results you want.

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