I Just Want A Cuddle (WT624)

I Just Want A Cuddle (WT624)

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by Shirley Dalton | 10 Jun, 2022 | Blog, Mindset

WT 624 I just want a cuddle

This past week or so has been tough.

I woke up with a sore throat. Ross teased me and said it was because I snored all night.

Very funny!

The next day I had to cancel a lunch. I rang my friend and as soon as I spoke she started to laugh.

“Cancelling lunch today Shirl?”

I thought I had what people were calling the “Superflu”, so I went to get a PCR test to confirm.

I was totally shocked when the results came back to say I tested positive for Covid-19.

Oh boy! Seven days in isolation. Now that was going to be tricky.

We don’t have a spare bed and I wasn’t going to sleep on the lounge. I social distanced myself from Ross and wore a mask, even to bed.

The hardest thing for me was not having my daily morning kitchen cuddle. I also missed holding hands whilst watching TV and generally having a touch here and there.

“I just want a cuddle”, I cried.

It was horrible. No touch for 7 days.

Author and family therapist Virginia Satir once said, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth”.

After 7 long days without any touch, not even a handshake from a colleague (obviously in isolation), all I wanted was a cuddle.

How about you?  Even if “Touch” isn’t your love language. I’m guessing that you too don’t mind a hug when needed.

Oh and by the way, this week we celebrate 12 years of Weekly Thoughts and still haven’t missed one week.  If I wasn’t so sick I’d be doing cartwheels over this.

This year we’re giving away a copy of my book The Loyal Lieutenant as well as a REACH personality profile to 12 lucky subscribers. (You have to be subscribed to receive the thoughts via email to be eligible to go in the draw.)

P.S.  Early Bird Discount, (saving up to $1500) for our August Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience ends on 30th June. More info here:https://shirleydalton.com/leading-yourself-leading-others-may2020/

P.P.S.  Buy the Book – The Loyal Lieutenant – How The Second-in-Command Brings The CEO’s Vision To Life. Order your copy here, https://shirleydalton.com/books

P.P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

Say “No” – Get Your Time Back (WT622)

Say “No” – Get Your Time Back (WT622)

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by Shirley Dalton | 27 May, 2022 | Blog, Mindset

WT 622 Say no, get your time back

This concept comes up time and time again. Pardon the pun.

It’s so important to be able to say “No” to things that don’t serve you or move you towards your goals and outcomes.

Here’s an example. I have to say, I’m feeling very proud of myself right at this minute because I said “No” and I now have extra time to write to you as well as a topic to discuss with you.

Since launching my book, The Loyal Lieutenant, Kellie O’Brien, my marketing lady, has been looking for opportunities for me to be a guest on podcasts etc.

She’s put an enormous amount of effort into finding the right hosts and audiences.

This morning I had a zoom meeting with a potential host.

The host mentioned to me that she was intrigued about my story, not of being the Second-in-Command, rather what tools and tips and strategies her audience might be able to use to ensure success.

I shared a little of my own story of being employed in the franchise organisation without anyone to help me figure out the job.

When I finished, she said it was a good story, however she wanted to be able to provide real value – more meat for her audience. Essentially, she was after the How and tips to help her audience think about what they need and what internal and external resources are available to them.

It was at this point that I realised that I was not a good fit for her show or audience.

The answer for me and my message is more about mindset. It’s about dealing with the situation and having the confidence to move forward and figure it out. It’s about understanding the value you bring as someone who can solve problems.  I might be wrong, however that’s the message for me.

I’d love to know your thoughts.

Anyway, I called it. I thanked her for the opportunity. I acknowledged that as a former radio and TV show host myself, that I understood she has her audience and how she wants to help them and the fact that I struggled to answer the question the way she wanted, I didn’t think I was a good match.

With that, we politely ended the conversation.

I got an extra 40 minutes back. I felt so relieved to be able to say “No”.

This is my message to you today.  Look at your To Do List.  Are the things on your To Do List, things you want to do? Are they things that are the best use of your time, energy, skills and expertise?  If not, say “No”. It’s okay to decline. It’s okay to delegate.

Say “No” and get your time back for the things that add the most value to you, your family, your business, your clients, your colleagues and your life.

P.S.  Buy the Book – The Loyal Lieutenant – How The Second-in-Command Brings The CEO’s Vision To Life. Order your copy here, https://shirleydalton.com/books

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

Overwhelm is a State of Mind (WT620)

Overwhelm is a State of Mind (WT620)

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by Shirley Dalton | 13 May, 2022 | Blog, Mindset

WT 620 Overwhelm is a state of mind

This week I’ve been hearing myself and many others describe their feelings of overwhelm.

“I can’t get it all done.”

“There’s not enough time.”

“There’s too much to do.”

And my favourite, “I’ve got a To Do List as long as a toilet roll”.

It’s time to reveal the truth about overwhelm. Overwhelm is a state of mind.

It describes how we are allowing ourselves to feel.

Thanks to David Bayer, I discovered the unintelligent thinking around overwhelm.

When we’re feeling overwhelmed, we are in what Bayer calls, the “Primal State” where we experience stress, anxiety, indecision and procrastination.

Think about it. When was the last time you felt overwhelmed and in that state, how productive or creative were you?

So how do we get out of overwhelm?

Firstly, by recognising that it is a state of mind and that we can easily change our state.

The number of tasks on your list and the available time isn’t going to change until you change your state of mind.

My best mantra when I find myself in this state is to quote Bayer, “What’s really true is that which didn’t get done yesterday, didn’t need to get done and how do I know that, because it didn’t get done.”

If you take notice, you’ll find the things you need to get done, do get done. In my experience, I somehow find the time or reprioritise if it absolutely has to be done. I expect you are the same.

So let’s drop this word from our vocabulary.

Let’s take charge of our state of mind.

Let’s reconnect with that state of being where we are creative problem solvers and open to allowing the universe to correspond with us.

Take action on the things that must be done.

Choose to live in ease and flow. Relax. You’ll be far more productive. You don’t have to get it all done today. You can still succeed.

Overwhelm is a state of mind.

Trust that if you stay committed to action, while living in what Bayer calls the “Powerful State” (of rest, relaxation and ease), everything you desire will come to you in due time.

Let go of overwhelm. It’s just a state of mind.

P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

It’s Just Data (WT619)

It’s Just Data (WT619)

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by Shirley Dalton | 6 May, 2022 | Blog, Mindset

WT 619 It's just data

When things happen, do you get emotional?

I do!

Although these days I can usually calm myself down fairly quickly and coach myself out of a full blown tizzy or an unthoughtful reaction.

I thought it might be a useful discussion this week.

When I worked for Kip McGrath Education Centres I really appreciated working with Storm McGrath because he had the ability to be detached.

If something happened (and keep in mind, this was 20 odd years ago), and I got emotional, I knew my logic went out the window.  You may know the saying, “When emotion is high, intelligence is low”.

Well fortunately for me, Storm was always logical and calm. I would go to him for counsel and he would listen, process the information and then share a logical considered response with me which I was able to action. In what we call the Primal state, I would never have been able to come up with the solution.

This week, one of my colleagues, Mark Kentwell, used a phrase which explained how Storm had been able to process my reaction all those years ago.

According to Mark, “It’s just data”.

When we receive feedback, it’s just data. It’s only information.

There is no need to get plugged into the information. That’s all it is.

As David Bayer says, “There is no suffering in the experience. It’s just an experience. The suffering comes from the meaning we give it.”

So, if you’ve found yourself suffering recently; becoming emotional when you needn’t be or losing it when you really need to keep it together, keep in mind Mark’s mantra, “It’s just data”.

Give it a go.

See if it makes a difference and helps you to get out of the Primal and into the Powerful state more quickly.

And if you’ve received some feedback that has caused you to react, remember, it’s just data. It’s only information. You can decide how you deal with it.

P.S. Are you in Newcastle, NSW?  Are you interested to learn How Your Personality Affects How Well You Lead? If so, please join me on Wed 8th June 11:30am for lunch. I’ll be presenting an interactive session at The Lake Macquarie Business Women’s Network. I’d love you to join me.
https://businessgrowthcentre.org.au/networking-and-events/

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

The Happiest People (WT618)

The Happiest People (WT618)

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by Shirley Dalton | 29 Apr, 2022 | Blog, Mindset

WT 618 The Happiest People

You’ve probably heard of Anh Do. He’s a TV presenter, comedian and author.

He wrote a book called “The Happiest Refugee” based on his experience as a Vietnamese refugee.

From what I have seen of him, he is a great role model for someone who is grateful.

His book title was the inspiration for this week’s thought – The Happiest People.

In my experience, the happiest people are those that are grateful.

They are the ones who gush praise and thanks when someone does something for them.

They are the ones who see the job completed and are so happy that it has been done. They are not the ones who see the bits that were missed or the mistakes that were made.

This is relevant both at home and at work.

When I was a young girl and living at home with mum and dad, I would often offer to hang the clothes on the line for mum.

Instead of being grateful and appreciative of the help, mum would stand on the back verandah and correct my technique – same with the ironing.

The end result – she was never happy with what I did and I wasn’t encouraged to want to help.

The happiest people are those that are thankful for the work or the effort and they express their gratitude, which encourages us to want to do more.

So, which category are you? 

Are you grateful for the help and the work that your team or colleagues do? Do you thank them and praise them or do you often find fault with what they do and let them know how they could have done it better or different?

Next time you might be tempted to become a forensic investigator, put away the magnifying glass and look at the big picture.

The happiest people are those that are grateful.

P.S. The Loyal Lieutenant – How The Second-in-Command Brings The CEO’s Vision To Life. Order your copy here, https://shirleydalton.com/books

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

Almost a Blotched Record (WT616)

Almost a Blotched Record (WT616)

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by Shirley Dalton | 15 Apr, 2022 | Blog, Mindset

WT 616 OMG! Almost a Bloctched Record

It’s Good Friday. I was at the sink washing up, preparing for family to come to lunch.

“OMG! I forgot the Weekly Thought”, I screamed to Ross.

With 10 minutes before our guests arrived, I’m sitting here writing to you because I don’t want to ruin my record of not having missed a week in almost 12 years.

It’s an important goal and commitment of mine – to be consistent.

I’ve been working really long hours the past few weeks and I set another goal that I would finish work last night at 5pm and have 4 days off over Easter.

Well, I finished at 6pm, so an hour later than I planned.

Still, I was determined to set boundaries for myself and not do any work.

I completely forgot that I hadn’t organised the Weekly Thought until just now.

You know that feeling, when you remember, remember someone’s birthday right up until the day and then you forget.

“Doh! How painful is that? How much do you bash yourself up, wishing you had remembered on the day?”

So far, I’m not late and my record is intact because the Thoughts are due each Friday.

Phew!

For me there are a couple of morals to this story.

  1. It’s not too late to go for and meet your goals and commitments.
  2. When you forget, let it go and get on with it.  Carrying negative energy over something you can’t change doesn’t serve anyone.
  3. Set your boundaries and stick to them.

So I wish you a very happy Easter break and I trust you’ll set yourself some boundaries and allow yourself some downtime.

Downtime is important. We need to rest and recharge and the only person who can ensure that happens is yourself.

No need to be guilty.  You do need to take some time for yourself.

Okay – record intact. Guests just arrived.

What will you do next time you almost miss a goal/commitment?

P.S. The Loyal Lieutenant – How The Second-in-Command Brings The CEO’s Vision To Life. Order your copy here, https://shirleydalton.com/books

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

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