If I asked you what you want, could you tell me?

Could you tell me in great detail or would you be vague?

Would you say something like, “I don’t really know”?

Or would you start to tell me what you don’t want?

This is very common. Most people cannot say exactly what they want however most can say what they don’t want. It makes it hard for people to give you want you want or help you get what you want, if:

1. You don’t really know, or
2. You can’t articulate it clearly.

So here’s a little exercise you can do, for yourself and/or with others:

1. Take out a piece of paper or ipad or something to write on.
2. Have a pen or texta or electronic writing thingame…
3. Turn your page to landscape.
4. Draw 3 columns.
5. In the first column heading write the words “Don’t Want”.
6. In the second/middle column, write the words “Why not?”
7. Go to the first column.
8. List all the things you don’t want, e.g. I don’t want to start work at 6:30am.
9. Go to the second column.
10. List the reasons “why not”, e.g. I want to do yoga, meditation, tapping, journaling etc. before I go to work.
11. Now for the third column heading, write the words “Do Want”.
12. Look at your list in column 2 and use that to help you get clear about what you do want, e.g. I want to start work at 10:30am so I can get up each morning and do my yoga, meditation, tapping and journaling.

Using the above example, without this exercise, you may have had difficulty saying you want to start work at 10:30am because:

1. You might feel judged by others for saying so
2. You might know you want to start at that time and yet not have been clear on exactly why
3. You just may not have known that the later starting time was important to you, until you discovered the reasons for what you don’t want.

Give it a go.

Tell me what you don’t want and see if that helps you discover what you do want.

Remember, that’s my mission in life – to inspire, educate and support you to be, do, have and feel what you want.

P.S.  Early Bird Discount, (saving up to $1500) for our August Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience ends on 30^th June. More info here:https://shirleydalton.com/leading-yourself-leading-others-may2020/

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

When things happen, do you get emotional?

I do!

Although these days I can usually calm myself down fairly quickly and coach myself out of a full blown tizzy or an unthoughtful reaction.

I thought it might be a useful discussion this week.

When I worked for Kip McGrath Education Centres I really appreciated working with Storm McGrath because he had the ability to be detached.

If something happened (and keep in mind, this was 20 odd years ago), and I got emotional, I knew my logic went out the window.  You may know the saying, “When emotion is high, intelligence is low”.

Well fortunately for me, Storm was always logical and calm. I would go to him for counsel and he would listen, process the information and then share a logical considered response with me which I was able to action. In what we call the Primal state, I would never have been able to come up with the solution.

This week, one of my colleagues, Mark Kentwell, used a phrase which explained how Storm had been able to process my reaction all those years ago.

According to Mark, “It’s just data”.

When we receive feedback, it’s just data. It’s only information.

There is no need to get plugged into the information. That’s all it is.

As David Bayer says, “There is no suffering in the experience. It’s just an experience. The suffering comes from the meaning we give it.”

So, if you’ve found yourself suffering recently; becoming emotional when you needn’t be or losing it when you really need to keep it together, keep in mind Mark’s mantra, “It’s just data”.

Give it a go.

See if it makes a difference and helps you to get out of the Primal and into the Powerful state more quickly.

And if you’ve received some feedback that has caused you to react, remember, it’s just data. It’s only information. You can decide how you deal with it.

P.S. Are you in Newcastle, NSW?  Are you interested to learn How Your Personality Affects How Well You Lead? If so, please join me on Wed 8^th June 11:30am for lunch. I’ll be presenting an interactive session at The Lake Macquarie Business Women’s Network. I’d love you to join me.
https://businessgrowthcentre.org.au/networking-and-events/

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.