When Someone Else Believes in You (WT514)

When Someone Else Believes in You (WT514)

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by Shirley Dalton | 1 May, 2020 | Blog, Leadership

WT514 When Someone Else Believes in You

At times, we don’t always believe in ourselves and this can hold us back from achieving our full potential. 

I remember years ago, when Ross’ supervisor was promoted, he wanted to nominate Ross to take over his position. At first Ross was hesitant.

“No thanks. I just want to do my work. I don’t want to supervise anyone. I’m not management material,” he protested.

With a little encouragement from me, he reluctantly took the role. 

When he began, he had few leadership skills and zero experience. He joined one of my Leading Yourself and Leading Others experiences and immediately started applying what he learned and within a short time, became an exceptionally good leader.

The guys he supervised complimented him and remarked how much they appreciated his loyalty to them. 

A few years later, it was Ross’ turn to nominate someone to take over his position. Sadly, his choice didn’t believe in himself and wouldn’t borrow Ross’ belief, so he turned down the opportunity. Six month’s later, at a work reunion, he shared how much he regretted that decision.

In the past few weeks, I’ve witnessed a similar scenario where upper management have offered the opportunity to participate in our Leadership experience to some of their middle managers who disappointingly declined the opportunity.

Upper management believed in their people and were happy to invest in them. They were shocked when one employee attempted to negotiate for the training investment to be spent on technical training which would have benefitted the employee, not necessarily the company or the team they lead. 

If you find a similar thing happening in your workplace, ask yourself whether you need to give your people the benefit of the doubt and teach them the rules of the game or encourage them or find out whether they fit the category of those who really do not wish to be managers.

It’s been an interesting couple of weeks.

When you have someone who believes in you, say ‘Thank You’ and accept the opportunity. 

In the meantime, know that I believe in you.

The Unassuming Leader (WT505)

The Unassuming Leader (WT505)

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by Shirley Dalton | 28 Feb, 2020 | Blog, Leadership

WT505 The Unassuming Leader

This week’s thought is truly inspirational.

It’s the story of one of my clients.

I won’t name names because she would hate that.

She was sharing with me how surprised she was at the reaction of some of her work colleagues in relation to a health goal she had set for herself a few months back.

To achieve the goal takes courage, commitment and dedication, all of which she has in spades.

Unwavering in her actions and commitment over the past few months, she is making real progress towards her goal. 

“It’s more than a goal”, I remarked. “What you have is a vision and your workmates can clearly see the vision, and they have all jumped on board with you.”

She sat with that for a moment.

“I guess you are right”, she said. “I’ve never really thought about it like that.”

True leadership is about appealing to people’s emotions. It’s about getting them on board with your vision. When they are on board, they will do whatever they can to fulfill the vision.

In my client’s case, the entire company has jumped on board with her vision. They see her as a role model and they are inspired by her. Even her family members are on board as well.

She is what I call, The Unassuming Leader. She hasn’t broadcast her vision/goal. She hasn’t cajoled people into helping and supporting her. She hasn’t offered wild incentives to motivate people nor has she threatened harsh consequences.

Rather, she has quietly gotten on with the job. She’s shared her vision when asked and has simply shown up and shown the way.

Leaders are found in all walks of life and in all positions.

As John Maxwell says, “Leadership is about becoming the type of person others trust to take them where they want to go.”

In this case, they are being inspired on a daily basis without a big fan fare and they are all quietly working towards the same goal and it’s impressive to observe.

Show Them the Big Picture (WT493)

Show Them the Big Picture (WT493)

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by Shirley Dalton | 6 Dec, 2019 | Blog, Leadership

WT493 Show Them the Big Picture

This week, I’ve been focussing on leadership. I’ve been creating training videos for the next launch of our membership site as well as the quiz I invited you to take.

It’s amazing to me how things show up at exactly the right time.

Leadership is about knowing yourself and knowing your people. It also requires you to develop great people skills so you can communicate well and influence your team so that they can cooperate and achieve the outcomes.

As I was talking with one of my colleagues recently, I mentioned how important it is to share the big picture with the team.  Some will call this “vision”, however that’s not exactly what I’m referring to.

What I mean by this is to help your team understand how what they do is important to the success of the business. Show them where they fit in to the workflow. Point out the critical tasks and measures they need to achieve for the overall outcome. 

It occurred to me that often the team are taught to focus on the tasks they have to do and they may not understand why the tasks are important. 

If we don’t show them, how can we expect them to think and to problem solve if they can’t see the big picture. 

So, something to think about this week.

Have you shown your team the big picture?

Have you taught them how to think?

What Can a Dog Teach You about Leadership (WT485)

What Can a Dog Teach You about Leadership (WT485)

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by Shirley Dalton | 11 Oct, 2019 | Blog, Leadership

WT485 What Can a Dog Teach You About Leadership

The past few weeks, we have had the opportunity to “dog sit”. It has been a fantastic experience, especially when it comes to implementing the leadership training I provide for others.

The first night was a bit rough. I am assuming the dog was missing its owners. He didn’t understand where they were and who these two new people were, so he did his best to assert himself as the leader of the pack. 

The next morning, Ross and I decided that one of us had to assume the leadership role.

Here’s some leadership principles that the dog taught us:

  1. There can only be one leader.
  1. Consistency is key, especially if you make new rules.
  1. Praise and reward go a long way.
  1. You must be present and give people (and dogs) attention, lest they start looking for it in ways you would prefer they didn’t.
  1. Adaptability and flexibility are also key skills for success (survival).
  1. Gestures work better than yelling.
  1. Teaching new skills requires patience and good communication skills. Not everyone speaks your language.
  1. If somebody does something wrong, it’s best to discipline them straight away, in a firm and caring way.
  1. You must plan for and allow time for fun.
  1. Systems and routines help to maintain order and increase efficiency.
  1. Clean up your mess as you go.
  1. It’s ok for the leader to learn new skills as well.
  1. Sometimes you have to change the environment to change behaviour.
  1. How you structure your teams and choose your personnel can have a huge impact on the results. (The dog next door influenced our dog to dig holes so they could socialise together, and get up to all sorts of mischief, not to mention the possibility of truanting.)
  1. Your team know when you’re out of sorts. (I was sick with a cold over the weekend and he sat by my side the entire time, giving me great comfort and support.)

Who says an old dog can’t learn new tricks? I certainly did.

The dog we looked after was an 11 month old puppy, full of beans and energy and lots and lots of love.  The more attention he got, the more pats (Touch love language) and belly scratches, the better he behaved and the more fun we had.

Makes you think, who really was the leader and who learnt the tricks?

Clean Up Your Mess (WT480)

Clean Up Your Mess (WT480)

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by Shirley Dalton | 6 Sep, 2019 | Blog, Leadership

WT480 Clean Up Your Mess

Years ago, Ross and I attended a week long conference with Jack Canfield, best selling author of The Chicken Soup for the Soul series of books in Scottsdale, Arizona. The conference was called “Breakthrough to Success” and was based on one of his other best selling books “The Success Principles – How to Get from Where You are Now to Where You Want to Be”.

One of the lessons Jack taught us was to take 100% Responsibility for ourselves and our actions.

It was confronting at the time and yet so liberating.

This week in our leadership experience, I shared a similar exercise with participants.

We were discussing how it is never too late to clean up your mess. In other words, you can always say sorry or assert yourself, even if you think the moment has passed.

Here’s a couple of questions from the exercise.

Starting with “If I were to take just 10% more responsibility for ………. I would ………..”

What are you doing that is not working that you need to do less of?

What are you doing that is working that you need to do more of?

What are you not doing that you could try on to see if it works?

What will you commit to doing as a result of this exercise?

In other words, what mess are you responsible for and what can and will you do to clean it up?

When will you do that?

Let me know what your commitment is by commenting on this post.

It’s amazing how much we can achieve when we know we are being held accountable.

Are you willing to clean up your mess this week?

Chicken and Chips (WT479)

Chicken and Chips (WT479)

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by Shirley Dalton | 30 Aug, 2019 | Blog, Leadership

WT479 Chicken and Chips

This week, I facilitated Days 1 and 2 of the Leading Yourself and Leading Others experience. One of the topics is an Introduction to the Assertiveness Model. 

There is a big difference between being Assertive and being Aggressive. Sadly, a lot of people confuse the two. 

If you’re acting in an Assertive manner it means you get your needs met but not at the expense of others (win-win). Whereas if you act in an Aggressive manner, you get your needs met and you don’t really give a continental about others’ needs (win-lose). 

I was horrified whilst waiting in a shopping centre car park this week, having just taught this concept,  to hear a woman screaming abuse at an elderly man, “Chicken and chips! I told you. Chicken and chips, not f……..ng fish and chips.” 

“Wow!” I thought to myself, “If only someone had taught you the difference, there would be no need for this drama and angst and upset. That sort of behaviour does no one any good.”

The man was doing his best to run away and she kept running after him, screaming at the top of her voice.

I cringe when I witness this sort of behaviour because it is so unnecessary and really, chicken and chips is not the end of the world.  

If she had learned how to assert herself she might have been able to calmly express her disappointment, anger or annoyance. For example, a three part Confronting I Message describing the unacceptable behaviour, how it makes you feel and the tangible concrete effects is often enough for people to change their behaviour. In this instance, the woman could have said something like, “I’m really disappointed. I ordered chicken and chips, not fish and chips. I don’t like fish and I don’t want to eat this.” She could also add, “Are there other options?” 

Whilst I cringe, I also can’t blame the woman because most of us have not been exposed to better ways of communicating – me included. I too was a hot head until I learned these skills in my early 20’s. 

How about you? 

Do you think you act in an assertive or aggressive manner?  Perhaps you err on the side of Passive or Passive Aggressive.    

The way you communicate with people really does a make a difference to your relationships and results.

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