Perfectionism or Procrastination (WT415)

Perfectionism or Procrastination (WT415)

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WT 415 Perfectionism or Procrastination

I’ve mentioned many times before that there seems to be a theme emerge for the Weekly Thought. 

This week’s theme is perfectionism or procrastination. 

On three separate occasions the past few weeks, I was reminded of the difference and how perfectionism can stop us in our tracks. 

Scene 1: A coaching client gave me all sorts of excuses as to why he needed to get his website organised and his advertising schedule done before he could promote a workshop.  

“How many people do you need to run the workshop?” I asked.  

“About 10”, he answered.   

“Do you really need a website and advertising to invite 10 people to a workshop?”  

Point taken. All he needed to do was set the date and book a venue. Once that was done, it was a simple matter of inviting people from his network.  

Scene 2: A colleague had an idea for writing a series of books. He explained in great detail how he was going to spend the weekend planning and strategizing for the books and develop the formula and then he could start to write.  

“Do you know what the books are about?” I asked.  

“Of course”, he replied and then proceeded to tell me all these wonderful adventures the main character would experience. He came alive talking about it.  

I challenged him, “If you’re up for it, forget the planning this weekend and simply write the first book.” He looked at me like I had just punched him.  

“No, I can’t do that. I have to plan it all out.”  

I challenged again. Finally he agreed.  

“Oh alright, I’ll write the first one on Sunday.”  

A few weeks later I saw him again and he had in fact written the first book, well with one paragraph to go.  

“Did you enjoy it?”  

“Yes”, he said and his face lit up. He had started. He had fun and totally enjoyed the writing process. 

Scene 3: My turn to take my own advice. I was sharing with the same colleague a few weeks later about revamping my website and my brand. I went into great detail explaining the strategy I needed to implement to generate more sales. He looked at me and grinned.  

“A wise person once told me”, he began.  

“Uh Oh”, I knew what was coming. I had recently engaged some services and he knew it.  

He asked me, “Did you go to a website for that?”  

“No.” 

“Did you find it through advertising?” 

“No.” 

“Oh, how did you hear about it then?” he asked. 

“I knew the people and they knew what I needed and they made an offer and it made sense so I engaged them.” 

Now he was grinning like a Cheshire cat. He had just caught the mouse. 

“So you don’t need to have a fancy website, or even do advertising”, he continued. “You just need to talk to people and let them know how you can help.” 

“Ouch.” You know those times when you just want to reach across the table and smack them. 

He was right. I had to take my own medicine. 

And as always, I share with you because I now know from almost 8 years of Weekly Thoughts (that’s next week), that someone reading this needs to hear this message today. 

“It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be done.” This comes from a great mentor of mine, Kip McGrath.  He realised very early that I was prone to perfectionism; that my perfectionism was a great excuse for procrastination. 

He managed me very well. He would give me a time limit to do a job and whether it was complete or not (of course I generally got it done), I was to return to his office at the appointed time with the job, regardless of progress. 

Your action this week is to notice how often you or people close to you use perfectionism as a means of avoiding tasks or procrastinating in general.

The first step to change is to become aware of it.

Your second task is to gently share the feedback. “C’mon. You can do it. No need to procrastinate on that too.”

Would You Walk Past It? (WT414)

Would You Walk Past It? (WT414)

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WT 414 Would you walk past it

Today’s thought might seem a bit bland at first read. Hang in there, there’s an important message from this story. 

Following the garbage collection this week, our neighbour’s bin was left in front of his yard. The lid was open. 

Generally, he takes it inside as soon as it’s emptied. 

I was curious and as we are prone to make up answers to our questions, I decided he had washed the bin and was leaving it to dry in the sun. 

The next day the bin was still outside with the lid open. 

The third day the bin had been put away, however there was a pile of rubbish left on the grass outside his home. 

“This is odd,” I thought to myself. 

The next day the rubbish was still lying on the grass. 

We’re now at day 5 and as Ross and I drive up to our place past the rubbish, Ross says to me, “Well I’m not picking it up.”  

I looked at him in astonishment. 

“Well, I will,” I said. 

“I’ll get some gloves and a bag and go and pick it up. If I’m going to complain about the rubbish I see on the side of the road and I want to do something about that, I can’t walk past rubbish at the front of my place either. (We live at the back of a group of townhouses.) 

With that, he shrugged and went inside. 

I followed, got some gloves and a bag and walked back down to the front to pick up the rubbish. It was wet and yukky. It had rained the past few days and the McDonald’s bag was wet and open. The McDonald’s drink container was split apart as was the McDonald’s salad bowl; with salad strewn across the grass. And the winner, a little blue bag tied neatly containing dog pooh. “Lovely!” 

I tied the bag and placed the rubbish in our bin for collection this week. 

I don’t know where the rubbish came from. I could guess someone placed it in the neighbour’s bin and he took it out and left it on the yard, but that wouldn’t make sense to leave rubbish in front of your own place. 

Regardless of what happened, here’s the point. In business and in life, our actions are determined by our values. You can’t say you value one thing and then not act in accordance with it. If you’re the CEO or leader, your actions absolutely MUST be in alignment with your company values. If you don’t act accordingly, how can you expect your team to. 

For me, picking up the rubbish was a no brainer. I value cleanliness. I don’t like rubbish being strewn around the place. I have pride in where I live and work and so to leave the rubbish for who knows who to pick it up, (or not) would have been totally out of alignment with my values. I would have been totally out of integrity. 

What would you have done? Would you have walked past it? And at work, what are you willing to walk past?

When You Need Reassurance (WT413)

When You Need Reassurance (WT413)

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WT 413 When you need reassurance

It was 2 hours after the flight was scheduled to depart. I was flying from Fort Lauderdale to Freeport in Grand Bahama.

Firstly. we started to board then got called back to the departure lounge as new flight crew were called in. 

We departed only to have to turn around because of a medical emergency for one of the passengers. 

Without knowing what was happening, I sat in my seat sending love and light; pink for love and white light to keep the passenger safe and blue and green for healing. 

I sent it to the sick passenger and the flight attendant – a young girl in her mid twenties who went white herself when informed of the passenger’s situation. 

What was impressive as I sat waiting to take off for the 3rd time was the support and reassurance the Captain gave his flight attendant. Clearly she was upset about the ordeal and whilst I couldn’t hear or understand what he was saying to her, I was watching his body language as his eyes focussed intently on her and he reassured her that she had done everything correctly or so I imagined because she nodded and responded with a flicker of a smile. He nodded and shook his head this way and that as he stressed his points. She seemed to become calmer and he smiled – a genuine smile nodding as he re-entered the cockpit. 

Leadership is an interesting thing to watch. Without words you can see leadership in action. You can tell when your leader cares about you and when they have your back. 

I believe the passenger will be alright, it seems she suffered a tonic clonic seizure (previously known as a grand mal seizure) and was able to walk off the plane assisted. 

The Captain kept us informed of what was happening and also interacted with the young children in the plane with much patience. 

Whilst it was inconvenient for me and the other passengers it was a fantastic case study of leadership, reassurance and teamwork. 

And to you, as a leader what would you have done? How would you have reacted and what words would you have said to your crew? 

And if someone like me was watching you, what do you think they would be thinking about your leadership style and feelings toward your team?

My Money Supports the Web of Life (WT412)

My Money Supports the Web of Life (WT412)

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WT 412 My money supports the web of life

Tomorrow I am heading to the Grand Bahama – one of 700 islands in the Bahamas. 

“Cool. Sweet. Awesome”, you might say. 

And yes it is all those things and more and I’m only going because I was fortunate enough to win a magical consultation with 2 world class marketing consultants. 

How did I do that? 

Simple – I played the game. 

I submitted a video. I did my homework and I put my hand up and showed up. 

And what has this got to do with this week’s thought on money? 

Before the competition, a trip to the Bahamas had not been added to my budget, so whilst I won the consultation, I still have to fund my airfare and accommodation, etc. 

Looking for inspiration this morning for the Weekly Thought, I picked out a card from Deepak Chopras’ Success Cards, “My Money Supports the Web of Life”.  The picture on the card was of 7 fish in a circle, facing inward. 

The back of the card read, “When I use my money to nourish the web of life, I create true happiness and fulfilment. I am successful.” 

This was one message I needed to hear as I juggled the accounts to make this happen.

Life is a series of priorities and choices.  

I remember a talk by Dr. John DeMartini, in Sydney years ago, where he explained how much our values determine what we do with our time and money. He gave the example of inviting his girlfriend to a science lecture on a particular day. She agreed to go, then her girlfriend invited her to go shopping on the same day. She changed plans, then DeMartini told her it was a decoy because he was actually flying her to Venice where they could enjoy a romantic weekend. Of course she changed plans again. 

One of my highest values is personal and professional development. Winning this trip is a gift from the universe and so I will take on board Chopra’s advice and use my money to nourish the web of life, knowing that this will create true happiness, fulfilment and success. 

What will you do this week? 

How will you nourish the web of life?

Live By Your Values (WT411)

Live By Your Values (WT411)

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WT 411 Live by your values

You’ve most likely heard the term “Vision and Values” in reference to business. For years this term remained a mystery to me. I just didn’t get it. 

I couldn’t see what the big deal was about having a list of words on a wall that we could point to and say, “These are our values”. 

That was until I read or heard, (I can’t remember the source) of the question, “Would you rather read it on the walls or see it in the halls?” 

Seeing it in the halls means we behave in line with what we say is important to us, i.e. our values – what we value. 

This week I was having a conversation with my hair stylist who mentioned that whilst she was away recently, her team did an excellent job of looking after clients, however, they forgot to look after each other. 

This sparked a great conversation about what she values in behaviour and attitude for her business, team and customers. One of the things she values is authenticity. It’s important to her that people are genuine; that includes staff and customers. Playing around with words and phrases, draft one included “Authenticity of People and Service.” 

As we were talking, I shared with her another of my colleague’s values for his bakeries. Each and every day he and his team live by these values. They determine the behaviour and the attitude of the baking teams in his business. 

Thanks to Tony Kaye for allowing me to share his core values with you: 

  1. Pay It Forward 
  1. Quality over Quantity 
  1. Forever and Constant Improvement 
  1. Help Everyone Learn New Skills 

“Pay it Forward” means that when you’ve finished your work, you help the next shift. This could include weighing ingredients and having them ready for the next shift to bake.  

“Quality over Quantity” means we bake well. We don’t strive for a huge production run, rather we bake products of good quality. 

Tony finds that having these values and referring to them on a daily basis helps him to ensure his team know what is expected and as a result they can come to work and succeed in their roles.  

Your values guide your behaviour. 

Having your values also makes it easy for you to hold people accountable and have “those conversations” because you have a reference point. 

Your task this week is to think about your values. What’s important to you? Do you have these written down? Are your team aware of them? If not, I encourage you to work with your team to determine the values that will guide the behaviours and attitudes of your workplace. 

And let’s not stop there. How do you want to live at home?

When You’re Feeling Down (WT410)

When You’re Feeling Down (WT410)

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WT 410 When you're feeling down

I don’t know about you; for the past few months many of my clients and friends have been experiencing many obstacles, set-backs and challenges and as a result have been feeling very low, depressed, frustrated and/or angry. I include myself in this list so this week I thought I would talk about it because it’s normal to feel like this from time to time.

At times we can feel like there is no hope; no way out; no way through or no solution. At times like this it can be tempting to want to end our pain. I know first-hand how this feels and I’ve had it confirmed lately from many in my network.

Spiritual teachers tell us that the world/planet is shifting and changing so it’s natural that we would feel out of sync. It’s to be expected that we will experience challenges and feel like we are out of flow.

It’s one thing to know that we are normal but what do we do to help ourselves navigate through this choppy uncomfortable time?

For me, it was keeping a promise. Ross and I promised each other 50 years of happy marriage. We’re just over half way and no matter how bad I thought things were or how anxious I felt about the future, I committed to my promise.

What’s your reason? What’s your why that will pull you through? What have you committed to? What could you commit to if you haven’t yet done so?

Another thing that gets in our way is our insistence on knowing and controlling the “How”. This always intrigues me because we know from neuroscience and spirituality that our job is to focus on the “what” and the “why” and leave the “how” to the universe or God or spirit or a higher consciousness (whatever term you use). Too often we get stuck in having to know the details. This only serves to frustrate us and prolong the pain.

I understand that at times it can be challenging to have faith and belief and yet that’s exactly what we must have if we are to move forward. Dr. Wayne Dyer wrote a book about it titled “You’ll See it When You Believe It”. Recently I read another of his books, “Wishes Fulfilled; Mastering the Art of Manifesting”.

One of the most important points I took from the book was the fact that our subconscious mind handles about 96% of all that we undertake in life and that the last 5 minutes before you go to sleep are the most important 5 minutes of our day. Dyer writes, “In this brief portion of your day, you are going to tell your subconscious mind how you feel and what wishes God is to fulfill upon awakening from your deep slumber. This five-minute segment of time in your bed, about to enter into your subconscious and marinate for the next eight hours or so, is the most crucial segment of your entire 24 hour day”.

He continues by instructing us that there is one question we must ask ourselves as we get closer and closer to dropping off into the unconsciousness of sleep – “If my wishes were realized, how would it feel right here right now in my body? Stay with that thought until you begin to feel your body shift into what that feels like. This is not an empty exercise – it is a programming tool for reteaching your subconscious mind to act on what you intend to manifest, rather than on what you are worried, angry, or fearful about.”

If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or lost or without hope, do your best to implement the two strategies above: reconnecting to your why and asking yourself how it would feel when you have manifested whatever it is that you want.

Let go of the “how” and know that feeling less than positive from time to time is both natural and normal.

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