Put Your Big Girl Pants On (WT439)

Put Your Big Girl Pants On (WT439)

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WT 439 Put your big girl pants on

Years ago, I was mentored by the fabulous Mitch Axelrod. Mitch wrote the book, “The New Game of Selling” and was teaching me how to conduct a sales call. 

He had an amazing philosophy and system that completely resonated with me; “look for the highest and best outcome for all,” he said, including me. 

As all great coaches and mentors, Mitch wasn’t just interested in teaching me the information. He wanted to see me put it into action.

I had a sales call booked that very day.

Mitch made me practice asking the questions.

I could do it with Mitch but I was terrified to put it into action with “real live people” (not that Mitch was a blow up doll).

Frustrated with me, Mitch challenged me and to this day I can hear his words. In fact, I’ve even used them myself with my own coaching clients.

“Shirley, put your big girl panties on and go and have the conversation,” he demanded.

I gulped. I knew what he was saying was right and yet I was terrified.

What if I stuffed it up?

What if I said the wrong thing?

What if they didn’t like me?

What if they said “No” and rejected me?

What if they said “Yes” and I got the job?

Oh my! The dialogue that went through my head.

Knees knocking, I did put my big girl pants on and showed up for the appointment.

They said, “Yes”.

I was so grateful; grateful to Mitch, grateful to my new clients and grateful for the work.

It truly was the highest and best outcome for all.

And so you might be wondering why I am writing about this today.

Well, guess who got to coach and mentor and share Mitch’s famous words?

I can’t wait to hear the outcome for my client.

And I’m now realising that the universe uses me to talk to you. Is this the message you need to hear today?

How about you?  Do you need to step up and put on your big girl or big boy pants?

We can’t stay little forever.

Let Me Finish (WT541)

Let Me Finish (WT541)

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Let me finish WT 541

This week we’ve been driving back up the coast of New South Wales and celebrating having the borders reopen.

As I was driving, I received a call from a representative of a hotel group who was keen to reinstate my membership.

(Hands free), I complimented him on his opening script. It was very well crafted, even though I knew what was coming.

“Hear me out”, he said. “I want to let you know about all the new properties and brands we have added to our group.”

He then went on to list a heap of hotel chains that I have no interest in or intention of staying at. When I politely told him I was travelling and working my way round Australia in a motorhome, he then changed tack and started to tell me all about the restaurants I could visit.

He asked me where I was right now. I told him.

He then proceeded to tell me how much I could benefit from the offers in Sydney.

I told him I wasn’t interested in going to Sydney and staying in a hotel.

Then he attacked. “You stayed at x hotel on x date. Isn’t that right?”

It was right. However, I also enlightened him on the reason. We stayed there because we had to use up a free night’s accommodation before the membership expired, not because we particularly wanted to go to Sydney.

“Hear me out”, he repeated, with a slightly raised voice.

“No thank you”, I said. “I have no interest in continuing the conversation.”

He continued to talk over the top of me, demanding that I hear him out.

By this stage I was out of patience. This was not the way to get me to renew my membership.

“I’ve been polite. I’ve told you my circumstances and I have no interest in continuing the conversation. I’m hanging up now.”

He was still talking and doing his best to engage and convince me when I hung up.

Wow! There’s a Weekly Thought. Let your customers finish what they are saying. You might have a better chance of engaging them if you listen to what they say and ask questions relating to their circumstances, rather than talking over the top of them and making them wrong.

And, this message isn’t just for customer service. It applies EVERY TIME you are engaged in a conversation with another. Let them finish.

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Let Them Fight (WT540)

Let Them Fight (WT540)

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Let Them Fight WT540

I find it really interesting that themes seem to emerge from time to time.

The past few weeks I have had discussions with my legends about the challenging times they are experiencing with their management teams.

“We are not aligned Shirl.” “We’re not on the same page.” “All we seem to do is fight.”

My reaction is to get excited.

“Let them fight.” “Get excited when your teams are fighting.”

“Why?”

“Because, number one, it means they are engaged and number two, you can’t get to be a high performing team unless you go through what we call The Team Development Wheel.”

The Team Development Wheel is based on a model that was originally put forward by Psychologist Bruce Tuckman, in 1965, as the 4 Stages of Team Formation. You might know the stages as “Forming, Storming, Norming and Performing”. Later he added a 5th stage called “Adjourning or Mourning”.

We use a sailing analogy with 4 quadrants in a circle. The first quadrant is “Becalmed”. In this stage, the team is just forming or you have new members joining. At this stage people are polite and minding their manners. They are watching and waiting. They are working out who’s in charge and where are we going.

The second stage is “Squalling”. To get the boat sailing you need to have wind and harness it. This is the “fighting” stage, where team members start to fight over roles, different personalities and different ways of doing things. They can also fight because they are feeling overwhelmed or they may be engaged in power plays for the leadership position. The most important thing you can do here is to “let them fight”.  Rather than stopping your team members from asserting themselves, encourage them, however give them the tools to fight clean. Teach them how to construct a Confronting I Message and Conflict Resolution skills as well as Active Listening. It’s so important to help the team move through this stage because you can’t get to the third and fourth stages without going through this stage.

Stage three is “Sailing”. In this stage, team members are working together and working on refining and improving systems and processes. They are getting to know each other better and finding ways to resolve their differences.

The fourth stage is the “Spinnaker Run”. In this stage team members become what we call “interdependent”. This means they can rely on you to do your job and do it well; they trust you. They also trust you that if they fall overboard, you will bring the boat around to save them. In other words, you have each other’s backs. There is mutual support and respect and productivity is high.

The fifth stage, “Adjourning or Mourning” is when the team disbands. This could be because a project has completed or the team is no longer needed or team members leave. There is usually a period of adjustment at this time.

The important thing to take away from this week’s thought is to not get upset when team members are fighting (not physically fighting, of course). Rather, give them the skills to fight fair and to fight clean. One of my beliefs is that “there is nothing that can’t be cleared up in conversation”. If you won’t have the conversation, you’ve got no hope of resolving the conflict.

If you’re up for it, this week I encourage you to share the model of Team Development and ask your team members where they would place your team on The Team Development Wheel. Draw a circle. Divide it into 4 sections and, like a clock face, ask them to write their initials on the outside of the wheel for where they think the team sits and then discuss the differences in scores.

You might be surprised at what you all learn about each other.

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Sharpen Your Brain (WT512)

Sharpen Your Brain (WT512)

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WT512 Sharpen Your Brain

You might be familiar with Steven Covey’s book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People”. In the book, he talks about the concept of “Sharpening the Saw”. His metaphor is that if you were to spend 8 hours cutting down trees, he invest 6 hours sharpening the saw. Don’t quote me on the exact numbers, it has been a while since I read the book.

The point is, he would invest the time in making sure his tools were in tip top condition to be able to do the job easily, quickly and efficiently which would ultimately produce more result.

The same can be said for us. We need to make sure our equipment is in tip top condition. I am referring to your brain and your mind of course.

With the current isolation, I’ve noticed that many people are starting to struggle mentally and emotionally from not being connected to their workmates and family members.

We can alleviate some of the struggle if we “sharpen our brain”.

Here are a couple of quick tips to help you do that:

  1. A couple of times a day, stop and think about all the things you can be grateful for right now. According to David Bayer, gratitude is your credit line to the universe. It will help you raise your energy.
  1. Do some exercise, even if it’s only a walk outside. Do something and get your body moving.
  1. Do something you enjoy. When you feel good, you raise your vibration and when you raise your vibration and get into the Powerful State, more ideas and inspiration will come to solve problems.
  1. Be aware of your thinking. If it doesn’t feel good, it’s not true. Look for the opposite of what you are thinking and find the evidence for how that is true.
  1. Visualise the outcome you want. Your brain is a goal achieving machine. It will bring you what you focus on, so focus on what you want, and finally, 
  1. Maybe the most important, ask yourself better questions. Instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” “Why aren’t I coping with this?” Ask a better question, “What can I do to cope better?” “How can I make the most of this situation?”

If we look after our equipment, if we maintain it, we will be able to get the most out of it. 

Are you looking after your equipment?

Understand the “No” (WT539)

Understand the “No” (WT539)

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If you’re like me, I’m guessing you don’t like to hear the word “No” when you make a request.

In fact, I don’t know too many people who do, unless of course, they have read “Go For No” by Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz, but that’s a whole other Weekly Thought.

Today, I want to focus on understanding what’s behind the “No”.

Salespeople are taught to keep questioning until they understand the reason for the “No” and then, if they can, help the prospective customer overcome their objection, to make the sale.

I’m intrigued that we don’t do this with our employees.

For most of us, we simply get frustrated and do our best to either convince our employees or worse, order them to do what we want.

This week I had the opportunity to observe an employee’s reaction to a request to hire more people.

“No!”

“Why not?”

“If we do, they won’t stay.”

“Why won’t they stay?”

“They want a permanent position.”

The penny dropped for me when I heard this. The employer was offering to hire a “casual” employee. I knew that the employer wasn’t attached to having a “casual” employee, rather they were looking to find the best solution to ensure that clients were being looked after without overworking or overwhelming the current employees.

“What if we offered permanent part-time, instead of casual?”

Now we got an entirely different response.

Name, I can’t stress enough how important it is to listen, really listen to understand what people are telling you.

The misunderstanding here, like most misunderstandings, occurred because we hold a different perception.

Your job this week is to understand the “No”.

What’s really behind the “No”?

I encourage you to put your “Patient Hat” on (patient as in giving someone time, not seeing a doctor – just so we’re clear) and take the time to really listen and understand the “No”.

You might be surprised at how quickly you get to a “Yes”.

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You Don’t Have to Do It – Why Do You Do It? (WT538)

You Don’t Have to Do It – Why Do You Do It? (WT538)

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WT-538-Why-Do-You-Do-It-

Sitting at my computer, on a deadline to write this week’s thought, I looked to Ross for inspiration.

“What can I write about this week?” I asked.

“Why don’t you write about the Weekly Thoughts”, he replied.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you don’t have to do them, you know.”

I was aghast.

“Of course, I have to do them.”

“Why? Nobody is making you.”

Whoa! That was confronting.

It is true. Nobody is making me write these thoughts nor have they for the past 10 years.

“Why do I do it?” I wondered to myself, which then led to even deeper questions, “Why do we do anything?” “What motivates us to do the things we do, especially when no-one is holding us accountable?”

Now they’re questions worth pondering.

Dan Pink, in his book, “Drive” talks about “AMP”; Autonomy, Mastery and Purpose.

He explains the difference between carrots and sticks to motivate us to do things that are repetitive as opposed to tasks that require creativity and problem solving.

Writing the Weekly Thoughts certainly requires creativity. It also gives me a sense of purpose because I love writing for you and giving you something to think about. I am also my own master. Ross is right. I don’t have to do them if I don’t want to. I have complete autonomy about what I write about and when (as long as they are delivered on time) and finally, they require some sort of skill or mastery.

Pink explains that we experience deep satisfaction in our work and will do things, even when we don’t get paid, if we experience Autonomy, Mastery and Purpose. As an example, he cites Wikipedia. Here is a knowledge base, freely available to anyone with the internet updated by volunteers. Think back to the days when door to door salespeople did their very best to sell World Book Encyclopaedia and Encyclopaedia Britannica containing volumes and volumes of information that quickly became outdated and which employed many many experts to compile the volumes.

Pink also goes on to say that when you include Autonomy, Mastery and Purpose in your work environment, “Across the board, productivity goes up, worker engagement goes up, worker satisfaction goes up, turnover goes down.” 

That’s why I write the Weekly Thoughts.

How about you?

Why do you do what you do?

What things do you do, even if you don’t get paid? Why?

If you’re interested to learn more about “Drive” and motivation, especially if you lead a team, here’s a link to an 18 minute Ted Talk by Dan Pink.

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