The Truth About Loyalty (WT764)

The Truth About Loyalty (WT764)

Blog

WT 764 Loyalty

I’m ever surprised at where the inspiration for the Weekly Thoughts come from.

This week Ross and I were watching a series called “Shantaram” on Apple TV. It was based on the book by the same name and means “Man of Peace”.

There was a scene where two very powerful women were testing each other out with their words.

Asking about a man that one of the women was close to, the other asked, “Are you in love with him?”

To which, she replied, “No, but I am loyal to him.”

“Ah,” replied the questioner.

“There are only 3 reasons why people are loyal:

  1. They are in love
  2. They are afraid
  3. They feel obligated, so, if you are not in love, then you must be afraid or obligated?”

Dictionary.com defines Loyalty as, “the state or quality of being loyal; faithfulness to commitments or obligations. faithful adherence to a sovereign, government, leader, cause, etc.”

I don’t know about you, but I’ve not thought about this before and the exchange got me thinking.

Many of my clients view loyalty as a very important trait in employees.

In fact, we can measure a person’s loyalty with the Integrity and Values profile that I use for recruitment and/or coaching purposes.

The description for someone who is loyal according to Integrity and Values is, “Committed to the organisation; prepared to put personal needs or goals to one side; does what is required of them – not just what they want to do or what will be good for their career.”

According to Integrity and Values research, Loyalty is one of the 5 most important values both employers and employees want to see in the workplace.

It goes both ways. Employers want loyal employees and employees want leaders who are loyal to them and “have their backs”.

Based on this little exchange in the TV show, I’m now looking more deeply at the concept of loyalty because it would distress me to think that employees, in particular, say they are loyal and yet are really afraid.

What do you think?

Is this something worth discussing with your team?

What is your definition of loyalty and is it an important trait for you?

P.S.  Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thought delivered directly to their inbox.

Go to https://shirleydalton.com/Weekly-Thoughts.

In Perfect Time (WT763)

In Perfect Time (WT763)

Blog

WT 763 In perfect time

Do you get yourself in a tizzy when things don’t go according to plan?

Are you a bit of a control freak; wanting things to be done the way you want them done, when you want them done?

I used to be like that.

I’ve mellowed over the years. I’ve come to realise and accept that things happen In Perfect Time.

Last week our air conditioner stopped working.

We called a few people. One person had a look at it and said, “That’s a warranty job. I can fix it, but it will cost you thousands because I am not an authorised warranty repairer.”

He told us who to contact, which proved challenging because we couldn’t speak to a person. Ross spent 90 minutes typing via a Chat Bot.

The Chat Bot would pass on the particulars.

Ross asked for the next steps and when these would happen, to which the Chat Box replied, “We’ll let you know.”

A week passed.

The temperature and humidity increased.

We were getting testy.

Ross followed up again with the Chat Bot.

Success! He was given a case number and the name and contact details of the authorised repairer – a real person.

To cut a long story short, the repairer came to inspect. “Yes, it’s a warranty issue. I’ve ordered the parts but don’t hold your breath. They are taking a lot longer than you might expect to get the parts.”

Not exactly the news we wanted to hear.

I sighed, smiled and thanked him.

I’ve learned that everything happens In Perfect Time.

If I get upset, it’s only me who is suffering.  Being anxious, angry or stressed only puts me in the Primal State (sympathetic nervous system) and in this state I cannot be resourceful.

It will get fixed when it gets fixed.

There is nothing I can do about it at the moment.

If you find yourself in a situation that isn’t going how you want, please consider surrendering. You’ll feel a lot better, and the irony is, that when you feel better, you’re more in tune with universal energy and as a result, things often start going your way a lot quicker.

Everything happens In Perfect Time.

P.S.  Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thought delivered directly to their inbox.

Go to https://shirleydalton.com/Weekly-Thoughts.

You’ll Get Used To It (WT762)

You’ll Get Used To It (WT762)

Blog

WT 762 You'll get used to it

It’s a sad fact that a lot of people do not like change, even though most of the time, change can be positive.

This week, I’m going to share my understanding of how the brain works and how we can hack the system to speed up learning and change habits.

First, a disclaimer. I am not a neuroscientist, so my understanding may not be 100% textbook correct.

This week I bought a new computer and 2 new monitors and what feels like a very large keyboard.

For the past 6 years I’ve been working with a HP laptop.

I bought the new computer and monitors to make it easier to present my webinars and group coaching.

Anyway, I struggled to find the keys on the keyboard. It’s not what I’m used to. I’m a touch typist, having learnt to type on typewriters when I was 14, so I know where the keys are, but the format is different.

I asked myself, “How can I speed up the process of learning and getting used to my new equipment?”

I remembered some training around this from Benjamin J. Harvey at Authentic Education.

According to Harvey, “Your habitual behaviours are nothing other than actualised neural networks. If you want to change your habits you must first seek to change the way your neurons are wired together. Think of it like a series of roads inside your mind. If you want to end up in a different location you must take different roads to get there.”

The weakest points in the roads are where one habit finishes and another starts. This is important to know because it’s at this junction that we can insert a new habit or behaviour.

When we practise or repeat actions over and over, cells called “Oligodendrocytes” start to wrap axons with myelin. The myelin sheath insulates the axon so the electrical impulses can travel faster with less effort (wiring the brain).

Here’s an example. Say you want to start adding “sit ups” to your morning routine. Your current routine includes:

  • waking
  • going to the bathroom
  • cleaning your teeth, and
  • making a coffee.

You’d like to do your sit ups after you clean your teeth, before you make your coffee.

The way to activate your oligodendrocytes to start adding myelin to the new neural pathway is to practise adding the sit up after you put your toothbrush away (the end of cleaning your teeth habit).

Now, here’s the interesting point. You DON’T have to wait for the next morning to get started.  

The hack to the system is to practise over and over in one to three sessions to master the new habit or learning. This is known as “Deliberate Practice”.

In your practise session, you’re going to practise putting the toothbrush away, then practise doing ONE sit up, then practise walking to the kitchen and pretend to make your coffee.

Rinse and repeat. Do it again and again and again.  

Continue practising these three things over and over and over for about 20-30 minutes or more. This rapidly increases the myelination of the axon, which effectively rewires your brain, so when morning comes, guess what you want to do after you’ve put your toothbrush away.

This is an amazing hack for creating new habits.

I’ve been sitting at my new computer and practising using the keyboard. I’ve been getting used to it.

Harvey says, Practise makes myelin, and myelin makes perfect”.

Your mission this week is to set aside some time to practise your new habit.

Let me know how you go.

P.S.  Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thought delivered directly to their inbox.

Go to https://shirleydalton.com/Weekly-Thoughts.

What Are You Thinking? (WT761)

What Are You Thinking? (WT761)

Blog

WT 761 What are you thinking

I’ve been reading “Unlimited Abundance: Align Your Life with the Unseen Forces of Success” by Sandra Anne Taylor.

We’re talking quantum science principles, energy, 7 universal laws, including the Law of Manifestation and the Law of Magnetism and I just love what she has to say.

On pages 74-75, Taylor says “So many people go through their days – even their entire lives – simply reacting, without any conscious awareness of what their thoughts are or what effects they may be having. But to change your energy and your consciousness, you need to be aware of the clues of negative thinking.”

According to Taylor, there are 7 major negative thought patterns and if we’re going to change our thoughts, we must first become aware of and identify the source of the negative thought energy.

The biggest hint to identify this is through your emotions.

Identify what you are feeling and then ask yourself, “What am I thinking that is causing this feeling?”

It reminds me of David Bayer’s mantra, “If it doesn’t feel good, then what I’m thinking isn’t true.”

And Abraham Hicks teaches us that we have the power to choose what we think and to simply say, “I’m not thinking that right now” and wave the thought away.

Similarly, the Silva Method teaches us to say, “Cancel Cancel” when we become aware of a negative thought, to stop the negative energy spreading.

Mike Dooley wrote an entire book called “Choose Then Wisely: Thoughts Become Things” as well a movie called “Thoughts Become Things”.

So, it’s up to you, what you to choose to believe.

I prefer to believe that I can change my thoughts and therefore change my energy and my life.

If you choose to believe this too, then this week, be mindful of your thoughts.

What are you thinking? Take note this week and see which of the 7 Toxic Thought Patterns you may be unconsciously engaging in.

  1. Devaluing (yourself or others)
  2. Catastrophic Thinking (anticipating negative outcomes for future events)
  3. Urgency (long To Do Lists and hurrying to and through activities)
  4. Comparing and Competing
  5. Victimisation and Blame
  6. Absolutes and All-or-Nothing (Always, Never, Everyone, Nobody)
  7. Time Warping (rehashing old experiences, reliving shame, replaying mistakes)

For more information check out www.sandrataylor.net or www.starbringerassociates.com.

Let me know which of the 7 you have been unconsciously thinking and what you are choosing to think instead.

P.S.  Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thought delivered directly to their inbox.

Go to https://shirleydalton.com/Weekly-Thoughts.

When The Universe Speaks (WT760)

When The Universe Speaks (WT760)

Blog

WT 760 When the Universe speaks

This week I was talking to a former boss of mine, Sue Schmotz.

Sue was my supervisor when I worked for the Southern Queensland Institute of TAFE, around 1997.

When I became a manager, Sue shared lots of little gems with me. One of the best lessons she taught me was, “The first rule of management – It’s not a popularity contest”.

There are times when we do need to have those difficult conversations and I am so pleased that since 2000, I’ve been an accredited instructor for Thomas Gordon’s Effectiveness Training and more recently Leader Effectiveness Training, which teaches us how to have those difficult conversations.

Anyhoo, I digress.

As I was talking to Sue, I mentioned my interest in all things “Woo Woo”. By “Woo Woo”, I mean the metaphysical; the things we can’t seem to explain.

Sue’s reaction was priceless.  “I would never, in a million years, have pictured you being interested in woo woo”.

It’s true! I look and act “straighty one eighty”, meaning people perceive me as conservative.

At heart, I am a big hippy.

I prefer not to wear makeup and I can’t stand tight clothes.  I’m happiest in shorts and a T-Shirt with no shoes.   Of course, this doesn’t fit the corporate business consultant persona.

So, the past few weeks when the universe spoke, I was forced to listen.

I no longer want to hide my interest in the metaphysical or the occult.  It’s part of who I am, and I am sharing this with you, to encourage you to “come out of the closet” and admit who you really are as well.

If my mission is to “inspire, educate and support you to be, do, have and feel what you want” then I need to walk my talk.

In the past I’ve studied numerology, astrology and the tarot. I consult the runes. I consult spiritual advisors and more recently engaged a lady to channel my business guides.

Often when I am the coach, I too am channelling. This could be images I see, questions I hear, thoughts or a knowingness of what to say and when. Often, I am instructed to “Wait”, to “Listen” before speaking.

I’m fascinated by how the universe works. I’m fascinated by how our brains work and the messages we receive when we’re open to them.

As we move into a new year, let this year be your year to be “YOU”.  Embrace yourself. Embrace all of you.  Let go of any shame or guilt you may have. 

The world I want to live in is one where we all feel confident to share what we want and those around us respond with “That’s great! How can I help you become that, do that or get that?”

Imagine that, a world where we’re all on point to live the lives we want to live.

This year, I encourage you to listen and take action when the universe speaks.

P.S.  Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thought delivered directly to their inbox.

Go to https://shirleydalton.com/Weekly-Thoughts.

What Is Your Body Telling You? (WT759)

What Is Your Body Telling You? (WT759)

Blog

WT 759 What is your body telling you?

Well this year didn’t start out how I intended.

Against some advice from friends and family, about 5 weeks ago, I started injecting myself with the so-called weight loss wonder drug, Mounjaro.

I was looking for an easy way to shed some kilos and others I knew were getting great results.

On Sunday I ended up in hospital with faecal compaction.

Did you know that our small intestines range from 3metres to 5 metres in length and are called the small intestine because of the size of the diameter?

The large intestine is about 1.5 metres, so there’s a heck a lot of piping to clear if you find yourself compacted.

Rather than focus on the gruesome details, I’d rather refer to Louise Hay’s work and in particular her book, “Heal Your Body: The Mental Causes for Physical Illness and the Metaphysical Way to Overcome Them”.

Under the heading of “Constipation”, she says the probable cause is “Refusing to release old ideas. Stuck in the past. Sometimes stinginess.”

The new thought pattern to override this is, “As I release the past, the new and fresh and vital enter. I allow life to flow through me.”

And for “Cramps”, the probable cause is “Tension. Fear. Gripping. Holding on.”

All of these resonate with me.

I’ve been feeling a bit lost lately and wanting to change some of my offers, not in the way I deliver my services, but the topics and I’ve kept going back to what I know.

So it seems my body is giving me a very big message, one that I’m not likely to ignore.

How about you?

What ailments have you been experiencing lately?

It might just be worth looking at what Louise Hay has to say about the mental cause and metaphysical way to overcome them.

P.S.  Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thought delivered directly to their inbox.

Go to https://shirleydalton.com/Weekly-Thoughts.

Pin It on Pinterest