You’ve Got to Be In It to Win It (WT521)

You’ve Got to Be In It to Win It (WT521)

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by Shirley Dalton | 19 Jun, 2020 | Blog, Mindset

WT521 You’ve Got to Be In It to Win It

Firstly, I want to thank everyone for entering to win 12 months access to our Leading Yourself and Leading Others Online Membership, as a way of celebrating 10 years of Weekly Thoughts.

When it comes to life and winning, you have to be in it to win it.

Congratulations to our 7 winners:

  1. Annie
  1. Luke 
  1. Lynda
  1. Corrine 
  1. Ryan 
  1. Anne 
  1. Michael 

In case you are interested in how we chose the winners, we actually didn’t. The universe chose for us. 

We simply assigned a number to each entry and then each day, Ross loaded the numbers into a random number generator on the computer and the number generated became that day’s winner. I trusted totally in the process. Remember, life is always working for you.

And speaking of life always working for you, about 25 years ago, Ross and I sold our house and headed to Western Australia for a big adventure. What we didn’t know was that the mining bust that had caused Ross to lose his job in New South Wales was also happening in Western Australia. We looked everywhere for work and eventually had to ask our family for help.

Ross’ brother was working in a mine in Queensland and was able to get Ross an interview. By the time we drove back across the Nullabor to Dalby in Queensland, not only was there no job interview, but Ross’ brother and his wife were packing up and heading to Mackay. He too had been made redundant. 

How could life be working for us? We decided to buy a business. The local accountant advised us against it. The bank wouldn’t lend the money. We were desperate to buy the business and no matter what we did, it just didn’t happen. And aren’t we grateful we weren’t able to buy it. If we did, we would have still been living there, eeking a modest living or bankrupt because we wouldn’t have been able to sell it.

Life is always working for you. As it turned out, I got a job with the Queensland Department of TAFE as a Marketing Officer in Toowoomba and within a few months I got a job and a promotion with a different Government department in Brisbane. Life is always working for you.

So here we are, living the dream, travelling and working around Australia.

How is life working for you? Are you looking for clues or are you focusing on all the negative things that didn’t go your way?

We’re Celebrating 10 Years of Weekly Thoughts (WT520)

We’re Celebrating 10 Years of Weekly Thoughts (WT520)

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by Shirley Dalton | 12 Jun, 2020 | Blog, Business

WT520 We’re Celebrating 10 Years of Weekly Thoughts

Do you ever surprise yourself?

Wow! This week I’m celebrating. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I could commit to writing a Weekly Thought, EVERY WEEK FOR 10 YEARS.

I have to say I’ve surprised myself.

I’m also really happy with myself and I’m proud of my achievement, and more importantly, I am GRATEFUL. 

I am grateful that you have been on this journey with me, whether we’ve just met or you’ve been here since the beginning.

THANK YOU for being there.

I love receiving your feedback, especially when a thought resonates with you.

I love my community and I just love sharing what I learn.

You see, I can’t help myself.

Years ago, I studied with Cristi Cooke who developed The Pillars of Genius program to help entrepreneurs look at marketing from a different perspective. Cristi helped us to identify what it is that is unique about us; the things that we cannot not do and to use this to help potential customers decide if we’re the person or company they want to work with. In essence, you attract customers who are the same as you or completely opposite and therefore needing what you have to offer or anywhere in between. The point being, you get to choose who you want to work with and the customer gets to choose based on who you or your company are in addition to the services you offer.

My 4 Pillars are:

1. Learn Learn Learn | Teach Teach Teach (I can’t help myself. I’m always learning and growing and recently, I added up how much I have invested in my own personal growth, business training, leadership training and the like and it was over $500,000. What that means for you is that you don’t have to invest the time, the travel costs or the program expenses to get exactly what you need at the right time. That’s what I can offer you.)

2. Systems Set You Free (I love designing and developing systems to take away the stress of being in chaos and disarray. Over the past 14 years I’ve developed my own 5 Step System to help business owners streamline their operations. It’s part of my DNA. It’s something that comes easily to me. My clients tell me I make the complex simple.) 

3. Don’t Tell Me. (I have to admit, I’m a bit of a rebel. I hate being told what to do. I don’t mind asking for help, but please don’t assume you know what I want and tell me how to do something or what I should do. That’s why I won’t tell you what you should do. You know you best, and you know what you want and why you want it. My job is simply to help you get it and support you along the way.) 

4. Fascinated by How People Tick. (I think this is fairly obvious from my Weekly Thoughts. I’m always watching and analysing and doing my best to understand people and then help others to understand their people. I find myself constantly working with leaders and business owners helping them to understand themselves and their people and how best to communicate with them.) 

So how about you? What are your Pillars of Genius?

What are the things you cannot NOT do?

As Cristi says, “What are things that you would be confident to stand in front of a judge and jury and show all the evidence from your life and work?”

And of course, this week I learned something new from Gretchen Rubin. Gretchen created The 4 Tendencies. According to Gretchen, one of the daily challenges of life is: “How do I get people—including myself—to do what I want?” The Four Tendencies framework makes this task much easier by revealing whether a person is an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel.

You can find out here. It’s a free Quiz and will take you less than 5 minutes.

The Four Tendencies Quiz

Let me know what you are.

No surprises for me, I’m an Obliger. I’ll do things for you before I’ll do them for myself.

10 GLORIOUS YEARS. WOW! WOW! WOW! I’m excited.

I invite you to celebrate with me.

Two Types of Trust (WT519)

Two Types of Trust (WT519)

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by Shirley Dalton | 5 Jun, 2020 | Blog, Business

WT519 Two Types of Trust

This week, I was talking with a colleague and he asked me a rather unusual and interesting question.

“Shirley, do your clients have to trust you before they engage you?”

I didn’t have an answer for that straight away, so I “percolated” on it for a day or two and then shared the following with my colleague:

There are two types of trust that are needed: 

  1. Clients have to be able to trust that you can help them achieve the outcomes they want. This means they have to trust that you have the experience and training, etc. plus previous examples of how you have helped other clients, and 
  1. They have to be able to trust you with their secrets and their situation. They need to feel safe and not judged as they share their vulnerability and what’s really going on for them. I think this is the most important aspect of trust.

It’s not easy for many people, especially in business, to put their hand up and ask for help. This takes courage and so they want to feel safe and secure with the person they are opening up to.

I’m sure there are many more types of trust. What do you think?

What does trust mean to you?

It’s an interesting question, don’t you think?

P.S. Be sure to check out next week’s thought – number 520. We’re celebrating 10 years of thoughts!

Look at Me Look at Me (WT518)

Look at Me Look at Me (WT518)

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by Shirley Dalton | 29 May, 2020 | Blog, Mindset

WT518 Look at Me Look at Me

Most days Ross and I enjoy a walk together, usually in the morning or middle of the day. Today was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and although the temperature was only 13 degrees Celsius, we felt warm with the heat of the sun. 

We came upon a bridge over the Lachlan River in New Norfolk, Tasmania. The bridge was just wide enough for two people to walk side by side. As we neared the bridge we saw a young man walking towards us. He was a large man. In fact, he took up most of the width of the bridge, leaving no room to pass. 

We waited politely for him to cross. Both Ross and I looked up and smiled at him. He stared at the sky to avoid eye contact as he walked past us.  

I find this sort of behavior both intriguing and annoying. I say annoying because I was brought up to “Be Sociable”; to always acknowledge people and smile and say “Hello”. For someone to walk past me without acknowledging me goes against my value set. I also find it intriguing for the same reason. Obviously, people have a different set of values and of course, they are entitled to do whatever they want. There is no law that says you must look at me and smile when you walk past me. 

So why am I sharing this story with you? It’s an opportunity to talk about Values and Values Collisions. A Values Collision occurs when we perceive someone’s behavior as unacceptable to us, yet there is no tangible concrete effect on us as a result of the behavior. Here’s another example: Let’s say you smoke cigarettes and I don’t. It’s your right to choose to smoke. I can’t force you to stop simply because I don’t like it and unless we are near each other, there is no tangible concrete effect on me. 

The next logical question then, is “How do you resolve a Values Collision”? 

Using the above smoking example, I’ll show you a couple of options: 

  1. I can change my value to be the same as yours. I might start smoking. 
  1. I can ask you to not smoke around me, whilst still respecting your decision to smoke. We call that “influencing the other’s behavior”. 
  1. I can attempt to influence your value by “modelling” the values I’d like you to adopt (ie not smoking) or “consulting” to you. I can provide you with information to see if that might influence you to change your value. 
  1. Finally, if we are not able to satisfactorily resolve our values differences, then we might need to alter the relationship. 

Values Collisions occur all the time. They are part of life. They occur in the family, in the workplace, almost anywhere you have people. We are not wrong because we have a different set of values.  

Following on from today’s message, what Values are important to you and how will you choose to resolve any Values Collisions?

Keeping Yourself Accountable (WT517)

Keeping Yourself Accountable (WT517)

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by Shirley Dalton | 22 May, 2020 | Blog, Leadership

WT517 Keeping Yourself Accountable

This week, we started our first virtual LIVE online Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience. I was so thrilled and delighted that the group passed their very first homework assignment.

“Big Deal”, you might be thinking.

Yes it is a big deal. It’s a very big deal. In over 10 years of facilitating this experience, there have only been about 3 or 4 groups that have actually passed some of the homework and only one group that passed ALL of the homework activities.

By doing the homework, participants learn what it means to be both a member of a team and to lead a team. One of the key lessons is Accountability.

What I’ve found is that there are very few people who can hold themselves accountable to finish tasks or projects, or at times even start projects. 

It seems we need to check in with someone else BUT not just anyone.

Ross and I find it very difficult to keep each other accountable. We may decide we want to do something or stop doing something and then when we falter, we let each other off the hook. We are not holding each other accountable. 

This is the reason why people join gym groups or have personal trainers. It’s what they need to make sure they show up and do the work. 

It’s what your team members require from you, the Leader. They want to know you have their back and will keep them accountable to complete their tasks or work according to the procedures.

Even your kids want to know you are watching and will hold them accountable.

Having to share your progress with another person is the best way I know to help you get something done.

Who is your accountability buddy?

Who can you ask if you don’t currently have someone?

What is it you want to achieve or complete?

How can your accountability buddy help you?

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