Put It In An Envelope (WT589)

Put It In An Envelope (WT589)

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by Shirley Dalton | 8 Oct, 2021 | Blog, Mindset

WT 589 Put it in an envelope

It was 4:30pm and we were on our way to the next location.

We were about 45 minutes away.

We had planned to pick up a script from the local doctors on our way.

I thought they closed at 5:00pm but thought I’d ring and see if I might be able to collect it.

“Could I please check what time you finish please?” I asked.

“5:00pm”, said the receptionist.

“I have to pick up a script and we’ve been travelling and I don’t think I’ll get there by 5:00pm”, I shared.

“You can pick it up tomorrow”, she said.

Oh well. It was worth an ask. I was no worse off.

That night we decided to get up early the next day and head to our next location, en-route to Kangaroo Island via ferry.

“I won’t be able to pick up the script”, I said to Ross.

“Oh well, it’s not urgent. It can wait for another week or so”, I thought to myself.

As I started to pack up, the thought struck me that I could have asked the receptionist to put it in an envelope and leave it at the pharmacy next door.

The pharmacy and surgery were joined via a connecting door internally.

“You know there’s always a solution to a problem, if you’re looking for one”, I said to Ross.

“I could have asked them last night.”

Our brains are goal achieving machines and they must find you an answer.

But and the but is, you need to be in the right state of being to be open to creative solutions.

Clearly, I was not in that state when I spoke to the receptionist.

I’ve mentioned it before that our goal each day is to be in, what David Bayer calls “The Powerful State” every day, for as long as we can.

It’s from this state of being, that our creativity and problem solving ability flows. It’s from this state of being that magic happens. It’s from this state of being that we come up with different thoughts and ideas.

I really wished I had been in this state the night before and asked the receptionist if she could put it in an envelope. If so, it would have saved me a whole lot of time and effort.

What state are you in right now?

If you’re in the state of anxiety, anger, frustration or sadness, you’re in the Primal State. This is not a good state to be. It’s not helpful for solving problems.

Do what you can to get back into the Powerful State. Simply becoming aware of the fact that you’re in Primal can help change it.

If that doesn’t do the trick, go and do something that makes you feel happy or that you enjoy. 

Remember, everything you want comes from the Powerful State.


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Sorry We’re Full (WT588)

Sorry We’re Full (WT588)

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by Shirley Dalton | 1 Oct, 2021 | Blog, Mindset

WT 588 Sorry we're full

It’s school holidays and a long weekend and we didn’t realise until it was too late to book in to another location.

Ross kept ringing the caravan parks.

“Do you have any vacancy for the weekend ?” he asked.

“Hahahahahaha”, laughed the park managers, “Sorry, we’re full. We’ve been booked out for weeks.”

“No problems. I just thought I’d ask. You never know. With the weather turning cold and raining there might have been a cancellation. It doesn’t hurt to ask.” replied Ross.

Ross wasn’t attached to the outcome.

He thought it was a long shot, but asked anyway.

Thirty minutes later the phone rang.

It was a park manager, the one who laughed the loudest.

“Are you still looking for a site for the weekend?”

“Yes.”

“We’ve just had a cancellation.”

“Fantastic.”

“What’s your phone number?” asked the manager.

“Hahahahahaha”, laughed Ross. “The one you just rang.”

Apart from knowing we have a site for the weekend and it is in the Clare region in South Australia with all the fabulous vineyards to visit, what’s my point?

Actually, there are a few:

  1. Always ask for what you want
  2. Take action towards what you want
  3. Don’t be attached to the outcome
  4. Be determined to get what you want
  5. Be persistent

Your turn. When you want something, what do you do?

Do you give up when you’re told “No”?

Do you have a tanty?

Or do you generally get what you want because you expect it and follow the above points?

“Sorry we’re full” can change very quickly.

Have a wonderful weekend.


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Get a Mirror (WT587)

Get a Mirror (WT587)

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by Shirley Dalton | 24 Sep, 2021 | Blog, Leadership

WT 587 Get a mirror

I fell off my pushbike today.

I was following Ross and he navigated a tricky pedestrian crossing at the lights.

A car stopped for him and the driver waved him on.

I was happy to stop and wait, however the driver waved me on too.

I felt pressured to keep going, although I’m not as proficient at riding as Ross.

Of course I fell over.

Right in the middle of the road.

Right in front of the driver.

Right in front of all the other cars that were stopped at the lights.

I was embarrassed.

I was hurt and Ross was nowhere to be seen.

The young driver called out to see if I was ok.

I had somehow landed on my backside with both legs in the air and I managed to roll over and found myself laying there with hands, palms facing down on the road, for what seemed like minutes before I gathered myself and untwisted the bike and walked to the other side of the road.

Where was Ross?

All I wanted to do was cry and melt into his arms.

He had ridden up the road and was waiting; sitting on a seat outside our destination.

Now I was mad.

Instead of melting into his arms, I wanted to punch him.

“Get a mirror”, I screamed

“Get a mirror on that damn bike so you can see what’s happening behind you.”

Of course, this outburst came because of an earlier frustration I had had with him not hearing me call out when we were riding in Darwin.

And to my point, no matter what we are doing, we need to be present and remain alert and of course, not pressure ourselves when we’re in situations that are uncomfortable.

What will you do?

Will you get a mirror?


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Yes I Did and I’m Sorry (WT586)

Yes I Did and I’m Sorry (WT586)

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by Shirley Dalton | 17 Sep, 2021 | Blog, Leadership

WT 586 Yes I Did and I'm Sorry

Our theme this week is taking responsibility.

It always amazes me how themes arise.

I often hear stories from different people around the same topic.

Here’s a couple of examples:

  1. A worker isn’t performing. The worker fails to produce an expected outcome on time. The supervisor calls a meeting. The worker offers excuses as to why it wasn’t his fault. The supervisor asks, “What’s your 50% in this?” The worker continues blaming circumstances and others. The worker doesn’t seem to understand, that we are all co-creators and that if it’s happening and you’re involved, then you too are responsible.
  2. Watching the TV show, SAS Australia, celebrities are tasked with completing 30 rounds of a number of activities. The staff are not physically watching, however the celebrities do not know that they are being filmed. One of the celebrities only completes 15 rounds instead of 30 for one activity. The Leader asks for anyone who didn’t complete all rounds to step forward. A couple of people step forward. They may have completed 27, 28 or 29 rounds. They can step back. The “cheat” did not own up. The “cheat” did not take responsibility for his actions and made excuses. His actions did not help to create good trusting relationships with the other “team members”.
  3. Elizabeth vents loudly to Cassandra. Elizabeth complains about Margaret not pulling her weight. Cassandra encourages her to confront Margaret. “Oh no, I couldn’t do that. I don’t want to hurt her feelings. I was rather hoping you could have a word to her for me”, replies Elizabeth.

In all three situations, no-one is taking responsibility for their actions. No-one is taking ownership of what needs to be done.

Years ago some friends of ours shared a story about their three sons. They were laughing as they told us about their middle son, we’ll call him Mark. Mark was always up to no good. He would borrow things from his brothers without asking. He crashed his bike. He broke things, however, unlike his brothers, when asked if he was responsible or whether it was he who had done “the thing”, he always answered, “Yes, I did and I’m sorry”. 

“How can you get angry at that?” our friends asked. “At least he is taking responsibility and apologising, unlike his brothers who would look to blame or give excuses.” As it turned out, his brothers got into more trouble for blaming and lying to get out of trouble than Mark did for actually doing the wrong thing.

When it comes to working with people and interacting with your family and friends, who would you rather hang out with; someone who gets into BED with Blame, Excuses and Denial or someone who takes responsibility and says, “Yes I did and I’m sorry?”


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I’m Happy to Pay (WT585)

I’m Happy to Pay (WT585)

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by Shirley Dalton | 10 Sep, 2021 | Blog, Mindset

WT 585 I'm happy to pay

Today’s thought is about what we value and how those values show up in our every day interactions and affect others, whether we’re aware of it or not.

Here’s what happened:

I had been working from the tiny table in our motorhome and was looking to rent a room at a library or community centre so Ross could take the motorhome for a service.

I called the local libraries; no joy there.

I emailed the room coordinators at the libraries; no joy here either.

I was getting fairly desperate to be able to do my work and present my online training.

I needed a room.

On a return visit from the amenities block Ross mentioned that he had walked past a room near the lounge area in the camp kitchen.

“Fantastic! I wonder if I can hire the room?”, I said to Ross.

Ross went to the reception area to ask.

“There’s normally a fee to use the room”, said the Receptionist.

“We’re happy to pay”, answered Ross.

The Receptionist gave Ross the key and said he didn’t have to pay.

Over the next few days he went back to borrow the key so I could continue to use the room.

He came back after one visit and said the Receptionist was scowling at him when he asked for the key.

After a few hours of using the room, I locked up and took the key back.

I mentioned how grateful I was to be able to use the room.

The Receptionist scowled again.

“It’s a bit tricky”, she said.

“What do you mean by tricky?” I asked.

“Well we’re supposed to charge for the hire of the room”, she said.

“I’m happy to pay”, I answered.

“We can’t keep giving you the key and having to spend time cleaning the room and you’re using the electricity”.

Well this was news to me. I’d be using electricity whether I was in my motorhome or the room, so that didn’t make sense and as for the room needing to be cleaned, I didn’t use anything except a chair and table and I put those back when I finished.

“But I’m happy to pay” I repeated.

“I appreciate being able to use the room.”

“It was built for the kids to do activities”, she informed me. There’s supposed to be a hire fee payable if we’re not using it.”

By this time I was getting annoyed.

How many times did Ross and I have to say “we’re happy to pay”?

Clearly, hiring the room and paying for it wasn’t part of her value set.

Not once did we ask for the room without offering to pay.

“I’ll have to talk to the manager”, she said.

I would have been happy for her to talk to the manager, because “I was happy to pay”.

In the end, I felt so uncomfortable going over to ask for the key that I gave up.

I could have just as easily sat outside in the kitchen camp area and sat at a table and chair and used the electricity – the same electricity I would have plugged into in my motorhome.

Wow! I’m constantly amazed at how we act according to our values and how our values impact on other people.

How about you? What values are you demonstrating to others and how might they be affecting others?

And, just for the record, if I need a room and I often do, “I’m happy to pay”.


Regards Shirley

P.S. Save the Date: It’s next Friday, 17th September and I’m looking for a room to hire. I am happy to pay so I can provide our next free online training session. We’ll be going deeper with last month’s topic How Your Personality Affects How Well You Lead. Register now for 11:00am Sydney time. There’s always something more you can learn. https://shirleydalton.convertri.com/how-your-personality-affects-how-well-you-lead

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.       

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