Every now and then we need a little reminder of the skills we’ve learnt that we’ve forgotten.
I was talking with a past Leading Yourself and Leading Others graduate this week.
We’ll call him Max.
Max was sharing some challenges that he and his family were experiencing.
Max is a “Driver” personality, so I know he’s focused on what he can “do”.
I asked him, “How do you think you can support your family?”
He replied, “I think I’m fairly supportive. I’m doing what I can to help relieve the burden (of tasks).”
He then shared a story with me about how he had done his best to encourage one of his family members with an upbeat pep talk.
Max has a huge heart and he loves his family very much.
“Are your family members huggers?” I asked.
“Yes, they are”, he said.
“Hmmm”, I replied. “You know, sometimes we just need a hug and an ear.”
I remembered the day I left the hospital after visiting my dad at lunch time (whom had had a car accident) and the head nurse called me into her office and basically told me he was going to die.
I was in total shock and when I eventually finished work for the day and went home, I drove the car into the garage. I barely made it up the stairs and when I got to the top of the stairs, I burst into tears.
Seeing the state I was in, Ross quickly came over. I collapsed into his arms and sobbed.
He didn’t need to say anything.
He didn’t ask any questions.
The hug and his ear was enough.
Learning to listen, really listen, what we call Active Listening is something participants learn in the Leading Yourself and Leading Others experience.
When you actively listen to someone, you are demonstrating that you heard and understood their message. You don’t have to agree with it. Your job is simply to give them feedback on what it is you think you understood.
When I say “simply”, this is a skill and it is not so simple to master. It takes concentration and patience and practise. Participants have to learn not to jump in with solutions. Often that’s about them feeling good about themselves that they have solved your problem.
If you’d like to improve your listening and communication skills, consider registering for the next Leading Yourself and Leading Others experience which starts Friday 22nd November. (See link below.)
You’ll be amazed at how much better your relationships will be when you have the awareness that sometimes all you need to do is share a hug and an ear.
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