What Lesson Did I Just Teach? (WT566)

What Lesson Did I Just Teach? (WT566)

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by Shirley Dalton | 30 Apr, 2021 | Blog, Mindset

What Lesson Did I Just Teach (WT566)

One of my weaknesses is that I let everyone else go first and I put myself last. It’s not a great quality and for the most part it only affects me (and of course, Ross from time to time).

I was horrified the other day to realise that I may have taught this to my friend’s 2 year old child, unintentionally of course, but a life lesson, none the less.

Here’s what happened:

Magnus was climbing the slippery dip at a local café where we were having breakfast.

Another kid, possibly the same age and a bit bigger in size, height and weight started climbing too.

I was standing behind Magnus to make sure he didn’t fall backwards and the second kid pushed his way past and up to the top of the slippery dip and I let him.

This same kid also attempted to take Magnus’ water bottle off him in another section of the playground but Magnus fought back.

Wow! Such an innocent event and yet so powerful in what it teaches us as well as the beliefs it generates. Powerful also in that our beliefs dictate our destiny and our beliefs are often created at a very early age.

Whilst I’m working on my own limiting belief of letting others go first (which I learned from my dad), I apologise if I just taught that to Magnus.

Remember, what you tolerate you teach.

What are you unconsciously teaching your kids?

Regards Shirley

P.S. Our next free monthly webinar will be held on Friday 14th May at 11:00am Sydney (AEST) time. This month we’re focusing on improving team productivity through a secret system. Save the date and we’ll share more over the coming weeks.

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I Can Hear You (WT558)

I Can Hear You (WT558)

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by Shirley Dalton | 5 Mar, 2021 | Blog, Mindset

WT 558 I Can Hear You

When you’re having a conversation with people, do you listen to what they are saying or are you waiting to speak?

In our Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience we dedicate an entire day to developing our listening skills. It’s amazing to me how most people’s listening skills are so poor.

The first micro-skill we teach for listening is to be quiet; to not interrupt and to show attending behaviours of nodding your head etc. to show that you are actually hearing and listening to what the other is saying.

This skill is so important because it enables you to really understand what the other is saying and that is my point for today.

When I listen to you, I can hear your beliefs; your limiting beliefs and your empowering beliefs.

When I hear your beliefs, I can predict the results or lack of, that you will achieve.

I find this fascinating. People always tell you what’s going on for them, if you listen.

In other words, our beliefs are like biases that we have. We make a decision about something then we look for the evidence to prove ourselves right.

Here’s a couple of limiting beliefs, see if you can relate to any of them:

  1. Nobody at work listens to what I have to say
  2. I’ll never get a pay rise.

With these limiting beliefs I can predict your results:

  1. You won’t speak up and therefore others won’t get to hear what you have to say.
  2. You won’t do what’s required in order to get the pay rise, and therefore won’t be offered more money.

I can hear you. I listen to what you say and I can predict your results. By the same token, I can look at your results and predict your beliefs and my own.

How about you? Are you really listening to what others are telling you? Do you know what they’re thinking or what they believe? Often they aren’t even aware of their beliefs. Are you?

What Did You Used To Do? (WT 536)

What Did You Used To Do? (WT 536)

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by Shirley Dalton | 2 Oct, 2020 | Blog, Mindset

WT 536 What Did You Used to Do?

Catching up with one of my legends over the past couple of weeks, he was sharing what he did over the weekend.

Finding himself with some time to himself he decided to go for a drive and a bushwalk.

He ended up sitting by the ocean at the end of the walk and as he sat, almost meditatively looking out over the ocean towards the horizon, he became aware of all the things “he used to do”.

These were things that he used to enjoy, like bushwalking and playing sport.

As he sat and pondered on this, he wondered why he had stopped doing the things he loved to do.

It’s a great question.

What did you used to do that you enjoyed that you no longer do?

I used to enjoy sewing. When I was younger (a lot younger), I used to sew a new blouse or skirt or dress each week. I used to feel so good to have something new to wear each week, that hardly cost anything and that looked and felt great. I designed and made my wedding dress and my cousin’s bridesmaid outfit. You may not know this about me – I studied dressmaking at TAFE for about 4 years and completed a teaching degree to become a High School Home Economics teacher.

I used to love to cook and sew.

What happened?

Saying we have no time is no excuse. We always seem to find the time for the things we want to do and if we don’t then it could be a limiting belief that goes something like, (and remember it’s often unconscious), “I don’t deserve to enjoy myself.” “I feel guilty if I enjoy myself.”  “I own the business, I have to work hard. I have to be a role model.”

This week I invite you, on behalf of Mark, (thankyou Mark) to ask yourself the question and then to be open to exploring the answers.

Are you carrying around some limiting beliefs?

Will you allow yourself to do the things you used to do that you enjoyed?

Remember, everything we want comes from a powerful state and one of the best ways to get ourselves into a powerful state is to do things we enjoy.

It’s the weekend. Please do something you enjoy.

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Strategy Vs Belief (WT487)

Strategy Vs Belief (WT487)

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by Shirley Dalton | 25 Oct, 2019 | Blog, Mindset

WT487 Strategy vs Beliefs

Jordan was recounting a story where he had met with his mentor. 

His mentor had given him some advice about how to resolve a situation. 

As I listened to Jordan I couldn’t help but wonder about the success of the suggested strategy. 

You see, I knew Jordan quite well. 

I knew that he knew that the mentor’s advice was correct and that he should take the action as suggested. 

I also knew that Jordan had a few limiting beliefs that were in direct opposition to the advice. 

Here’s an example: Let’s say you want to increase your income by $10,000, $100,000 or $1,000,000. The amount is irrelevant. You learn some sales strategies. You learn how to advertise and market your business or yourself (if you’re employed) and after a while you start to get disappointed because nothing is working. You haven’t increased your income at all. You’ve taken the action as prescribed. You were given the strategy from someone who had successfully implemented it. Why then, didn’t it work for you? 

The reason is because you have a limiting belief (maybe an unconscious belief) that “Money is hard to make” or similar. 

Your beliefs trump any action you take. Your beliefs trump any strategy. 

In this example, if you believe money is hard to make, then money will be hard to make. In other words, you will likely sabotage yourself. You’re setting yourself up for failure before you even begin because you are not aware of the beliefs that are holding you back. 

This is why it so very important for you to discover your limiting beliefs so you can change them and use a technique known as neuro sculpting to rewire your brain so that your beliefs are in alignment with what you want to achieve. 

As for Jordan, the mentor’s advice and strategy were spot on, however they didn’t yield the results Jordan wanted because the real work Jordan needed to do was to discover and change the limiting beliefs. That’s another conversation and not one that everyone is open to. 

Speaking of which, if you would like to know more about discovering your limiting beliefs and why things may not be working out for you, reply to this email and we’ll set up a 15 minute complimentary call.

I’m Not a Bad Person (WT484)

I’m Not a Bad Person (WT484)

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by Shirley Dalton | 4 Oct, 2019 | Blog, Mindset

WT484 I'm Not a Bad Person

Sally was sitting in the waiting room of the Doctor’s surgery.

Across from her was an older woman who looked like she had experienced some hard times.

Her hair was dishevelled, long and grey. Her clothes were ill fitting and her shoes needed mending.

She was on the phone talking very loudly, with the phone on speaker.

Sally couldn’t help but hear the conversation:

“I’m not a bad person,” the lady said.

“Why me? I’m starting to lose my faith. All these things have happened to me and it’s been a tough year.”

Sally cringed as she listened to the woman’s conversation.

“You may not be a bad person,” she thought, “But you do have bad thoughts.”

If only the lady knew what Sally knew about how the brain works and how we are responsible for what happens in our lives.

If only she knew that it was her limiting beliefs that were causing the thoughts, the feelings and her action or inaction, which produces her results. If she knew that, she would look deep into her limiting beliefs and change her thoughts so she could create a better future.

It’s our neuroscience and our vibrational reality that dictates what happens to us in our lives.

Bad stuff happens to us when our beliefs are out of alignment with what we want to create. Dr. Raymond Charles Barker calls this “unintelligent thinking”; not because we are stupid, rather because we are not tapping into the amazing intelligence that is all around and part of every one of us. You can call the intelligence God, the Universe, Consciousness, whatever you like.

The facts are that we are not bad people, however on occasion we do have bad thoughts and it’s these bad thoughts that create our misery.

Likewise, when we have good thoughts and operate in alignment with our empowering beliefs, we create amazing things for ourselves.

Your mission this week is to check in with your thoughts and feelings. If you’re not in a good place, see if you can identify the thoughts that may be causing you to feel this way. I’ll wager that there is a limiting belief behind them and it’s the limiting beliefs that we want to work on.

If you’re interested in knowing more or want to get rid of these beliefs that are holding you back, reach out and we can chat some more.

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