If you’ve done any training with me, you’ll know that we teach you not to use the word “but” because it negates everything that goes before it.
For example, you wouldn’t say to your staff member, “I really like the work you’re doing, but I’d like you to improve here”. All they will hear is “I’d like you to improve”.
Instead of “but” use “and”.
“I really like the work you’re doing and I’d like you to improve here.”
Now, there is an exception.
The one time that it is okay and encouraged to say “but” is when you’ve just complained about something or you’ve been ungrateful about something.
In this instance, you can correct the complaint, with what Rhonda Byrne, author of “The Secret” and “The Magic” calls the Magic Lifeline.
As soon as you become aware you have been ungrateful or have complained, simply say, “But, I have to say, I’m truly grateful for <fill in the blank>”.
In this instance you are negating the thing that you’ve being complaining about, or that you’re being negative about.
Byrne explains in “The Magic” that gratitude is the magic and provides 28 days of activities to help us enjoy more magic in our lives. I highly recommend you get the book and go through the activities. It’s especially powerful if you do it with a group to keep you accountable.
So, to recap, the one and only time it’s okay to say “but” is when you use it to cancel out a negative comment or complaint.
Give it a go this week. It’s a good opportunity to notice how much you might be complaining or not showing gratitude.
And with that, thank you for being part of my community and reading the thought each week. It inspires me to keep going.
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