This week I was talking with a colleague about giving feedback to employees.
As he was telling me about his recent success with coaching an employee, I agreed it’s a thin line between feedback that feels like a threat and feedback that feels like support.
“Do this or you’re fired” shuts people down.
It triggers fear. It builds walls. It hurts trust.
Versus, “We’re investing in you because we see your potential.”
This opens people up. It builds confidence. It grows trust.
As we discussed the options, we agreed, both messages talk about change.
Both messages ask for improvement but they land very differently.
One creates resistance. The other creates possibility.
One says, “You have no power.”
The other says, “You have a choice.”
Leaders walk this thin line every day.
At the end of the conversation we both agreed it had been very productive and enlightening.
If you find yourself having to have those conversations, you don’t have to threaten, instead you can empower.
Invite people to step into their growth.
Let them know the decision is theirs.
Remind them that every choice has consequences.
Not punishment, rather consequences.
When people feel threatened, they protect themselves.
When people feel supported, they expand.
It’s a thin line.
I’m curious, which side of the line are you standing on?
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P.P.S. Our next Leading Yourself and Leading Others experience has been scheduled for February 2026. Thursdays 5th, 12th, 19th and 26th. Save the dates now.
