This week has been a doozy for interpersonal dramas; mine, my clients, my colleagues and friends and family.
It’s fascinating to me, how we interpret what people say according to our values, beliefs and expectations or what’s going on in our head at any given time.
My point this week is not to share gossip; quite the opposite. My point is that we get what we focus on, so let’s focus on what we want, rather than what we don’t want.
Let’s say you have a disagreement with your co-worker. Most people’s tendency is to seek support with other co-workers to sure up their position as being right or the victim. When this happens your co-workers become what we call “co-conspirators”. Time and energy is now directed to talking about the other person, sharing anecdotes of past wrongs and generally enlisting others into the cause.
This is drama.
It takes you away from the focus of your work. It reduces productivity and it’s toxic to those around.
Even worse than that, it stops you from achieving what you really want.
And you don’t even have to be engaging in gossip to be adding fuel to the fire. You could be going over and over the conversation in your head; analysing what he or she said over and over and thinking about your responses or potential responses.
Stop It.
Give up the drama.
As soon as you become aware that you are thinking about the situation and/or enlisting others or gossiping – just stop it.
This is draining your energy and only serving to bring you more of the same, just with different people.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to assert yourself and then either resolve it with the person or let it go. Do not give it any more attention. Rather focus on the outcomes you want – the income you want, the customers you want, the job you want, the partner you want, the travel you want to do.
Imagining the positive and feeling how you’ll feel when you’ve achieved it, is the quickest way to get what you want.
Go ahead and give up the drama.
