It Doesn’t Matter, We’re Just Practising (WT755)

It Doesn’t Matter, We’re Just Practising (WT755)

Blog

WT 755 It doesn't matter we are just practicing

Yesterday I commenced with a group of leaders to provide a series of inhouse leadership training for Community Therapy. Big shout out to Scott Lynch and Emily Steel for organising the training and for having such a “dream team”.

Because it was a new group to me and I hadn’t been to the venue before, I was feeling a bit nervous.

As I prepared, I remembered a mantra I’d learned from Benjamin J Harvey at Authentic Education.

“It doesn’t matter. We’re just practising.”

What this means is that sometimes we tie ourselves up in knots thinking that “we have to get it right”.

“This is it. If I make a mistake, it’s the worst thing ever”.

This type of thinking actually inhibits our performance. It puts us in the primal state of fight, flight or freeze.

When we’re in that state, we can’t think straight, let alone perform at our best.

So, this little mindset hack helps to take the pressure off.

As soon as you remind yourself that the next gig is the “real gig” and “this one is a practice for the next gig”, you’ll find you relax and of course, as a result perform better.

You can use this mantra for any situation where you are feeling the pressure.

Because you’re practising, you’re not concerned about getting it right. You’re practising. You’re improving.

By default, your performance or outcome will be achieved at a higher standard.

I’m curious, in what situations can you see yourself making use of the mantra?

Reply and let me know.

Keep in mind, (pardon the pun) that mindset is everything and you need to do whatever you can to ensure you manage your mindset.

Regards Shirley

P.S.  Early Bird Discount ends 31st December for the next public Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience. Held over 4 Tuesdays in February 2025.  Click on the link for more information:

https://shirleydalton.com/leading-yourself-leading-others-may2020/

P.P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thought delivered directly to their inbox.

Go to https://shirleydalton.com/Weekly-Thoughts.

Are You Delusional? (WT750)

Are You Delusional? (WT750)

Blog

WT 750 Are you delusional?

Before you answer that question, here’s the definition of “delusional” from Vocabulary.com.

“A delusional person believes things that couldn’t possibly be true. If you’re convinced that the microwave is attempting to control your thoughts, you are, sadly, delusional. Delusional comes from a Latin word meaning “deceiving”. So delusional thinking is kind of like deceiving yourself by believing outrageous things.”

And this week, this is exactly what we want.

I really love this concept from Nina Oberoi.

Nina explains that to create your reality, you need to become delusional in your thinking.

This has helped me enormously to have fun with expanding the vision of my future self. Because it’s delusional, I’m not attached to whether it will happen or not. I just have fun with creating outrageous goals and outcomes.

If you’re up for it, here’s what to do:

  1. Identify the delusions of your new reality (all the things you want to have happen, things you want to receive, achieve and the person you want to become)
  2. Write down everything as if it has already happened
  3. Record yourself reading everything, with plenty of positive emotion and energy
  4. Listen to your recording at least 3 times a day

Give yourself permission to be completely delusional because when you allow yourself to be delusional, and you know you are being delusional, then you can play a game with yourself.

You can have fun going into the delusion, getting that feeling of excitement, that energy, that is exactly what you need in order to create and manifest what you want.

Here’s a couple of mine to give you an example:

“People love to hear what I have to say. People look forward to my posts. I get hundreds of comments and hundreds of people sharing the work that I’m doing.”

What’s the delusion of your new reality that you want to create?

What’s the decision, the delusional decision that you’re making?

Will you allow yourself to be completely delusional in this sense? Give it a go and see what happens.

P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thought delivered directly to their inbox.

Go to https://shirleydalton.com/Weekly-Thoughts.

Feel The Fear (WT748)

Feel The Fear (WT748)

Blog

WT 748 Feel the Fear

Ever read the book, “Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers?

It’s a great book to get you into action.

Another book I’m listening to and reading is “Letting Go: The Pathway to Surrender” by David R. Hawkins.

Hawkins encourages us to simply acknowledge our feelings and let them go.

He also encourages us to let go of some limiting beliefs that may prevent us from doing just that, such as: “We only deserve things through hard work, struggle, sacrifice and effort” or “We don’t get anything for nothing”.

Hawkins tells us that “Letting go involves being aware of a feeling, letting it come up, staying with it, and letting it run its course without wanting to make it different or do anything about it. It means simply to let the feeling be there and to focus on letting out the energy behind it.” (pp19-20)

As you let go, ignore all thoughts and focus only on the feeling.

According to Hawkins, “it is the accumulated pressure of feelings that causes thoughts. One feeling, can create literally thousands of thoughts over a period of time.”

For example, think of a time from your past that was painful or something you did that you regret. How many times have you gone over and over that situation, thinking about it?

If you could surrender the underlying painful feeling, the thoughts would disappear and you would forget the event.

I don’t know about you but I find this fascinating.  It’s opposite to what I’ve learned previously where thoughts create feelings.

Right now, I’m willing to experiment. I’m willing to acknowledge that I am feeling a great deal of fear. Fear about the future as I transition and the business evolves. This feeling generates all sorts of thoughts, some positive and expectant, some negative and paralysing.

And the important thing to remember, according to Hawkins, is that we want to let go of all feelings, not just the negative ones. Similar to the Buddha’s teachings, it’s about becoming detached.

It also reminds me of a saying I learned when I attended the 10 day Vipassana meditation retreat, “Arises, passes away” in relation to body sensations (you could call feelings) as you observe them and let them go.

How about you? Are you willing to feel the fear (or whatever feeling you are currently experiencing) and let it go?

P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thought delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/Weekly-Thoughts.

I Can’t Do That Because … (WT746)

I Can’t Do That Because … (WT746)

Blog

WT 746 I can't do that because

Have you ever found yourself responding to a suggestion with “I can’t do that because …?”

It’s such a powerful phrase that stops us from moving forward.

One of my fabulous coaching clients, (we’ll call him Doug) had this incredible insight as we were discussing some potential actions he could take to grow his business.

As I reflected back the suggestions he gave, his internal response was “I can’t do that because …”

He was aware enough to mention it, so we had a juicy topic to coach around.

“Hmm,” he pondered.

“You know, this is something I do a lot.”

“I hold myself back by looking for reasons NOT to do something and then I validate myself and let myself off the hook.”

Doug isn’t alone in this department.

Most of us do this to some extent.

I do it with the gym.

“I can’t go today because I have to catch up on client work. I can’t go today because I have a meeting in town at 9:00am.”

Excuse after excuse after excuse.

So what can we do about it once we become aware of it?

Look to see the benefit or reward we are seeking from avoiding taking the action.

There is always a benefit to our behaviour.

Once we become aware of the benefit we are seeking, we can then look for ways that we can get that benefit by doing the things we say we want to do.

It’s a process of rewiring your brain.

Here’s an example: “I can’t go to the gym today because I’m running the leadership experience all day.” This is a valid reason not to go.  Or is it?

If I really wanted to go to the gym, I could get up earlier or go after the leadership experience finishes.

I don’t really enjoy the gym. I find it boring doing the same things and I get frustrated when others are using the equipment I want.

Going to the gym is not aligned with my values but yoga is.

I love doing yoga at home. I am in my own little world. I am not concerned about others and I can change up the poses from day to day.

If the goal is to move the body, I’m better off doing something that is aligned with my values and that gives me the benefit or reward I am seeking.

How about you?

Are there things you’re procrastinating on?

If so, perhaps take a look at your values and see if what you’re procrastinating about is aligned.

I’ll wager it’s not.

When we’re in alignment with our values, we do the work. We take the action, even if we don’t particularly like it because it’s a means to an end.

This week, take stock of the excuses you are making up, and if you find yourself saying, “I can’t do that because …” then ask yourself, what is the benefit I am getting by not doing the thing? How can I find a way to give myself the benefit and take the action I need to take?

 

P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thought delivered directly to their inbox.

Go to https://shirleydalton.com/Weekly-Thoughts.

Can You Coach Yourself (WT745)

Can You Coach Yourself (WT745)

Blog

WT 745 Can you coach yourself

I would love for you to be able to answer that question with “Yes”.

Being able to coach yourself is a such an important and necessary skill.

This week I’ve had a few challenges and I’ve had to dig deep to coach myself.

I’ve used “Ho’oponopono”. (I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank You, I Love You) to clear the energy.

I’ve tapped along with The Tapping Solution App.

I’ve meditated.

I’ve visualised.

I’ve journalled.

I’ve asked myself empowering questions; what Noah St John calls “Afformations”. Instead of asking why a negative thing is happening, ask a powerful question, such as “Why am I so fit and healthy?” instead of “Why am I so fat and unfit?” Our brain is a goal achieving machine. It must find an answer to the questions we ask, so ask good questions.

I’ve been grateful. Very very grateful. Thanking the universe for the love, abundance and health that we receive.

I’ve coached myself when I dropped the ball and wanted to beat myself up.

I’ve coached myself when I started to feel anxious or afraid.

How about you?

Can you coach yourself?

What are some of the techniques you use to change your mindset and manifest the things you want?

This is a “MUST HAVE SKILL”.

Being able to coach yourself is something you can learn.

There are so many techniques available. Generally, you only have to learn them once and then remember to use them

You might engage a coach to help you initially, and as needed, however if you learn some techniques and apply them, you don’t have to wait. You won’t be dependent on others.

You can change how you feel. You can change what you’re thinking and you can change what you say and ultimately change your outcomes.

Learning to coach yourself could mean the difference between curling up in the fetal position on the floor feeling hopeless and afraid or being able to cope with whatever life lemon comes your way.

It is my sincere desire that you can, in fact, coach yourself.

Practise every day.

You’ll feel better for it.

P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thought delivered directly to their inbox.

Go to https://shirleydalton.com/Weekly-Thoughts.

Today I’m Feeling Sad (WT744)

Today I’m Feeling Sad (WT744)

Blog

WT 744 Today I'm feeling sad

Today, I’m feeling sad.

I’m sad for Brad.

Brad is overwhelmed with his business.

He doesn’t have time.

He’s doing everything, even though he has people on his team.

He doesn’t know which way is up or down at the moment.

He’s tired, cranky and emotional.

His wife reached out to me to help him. (We worked together a few years ago.)

She introduced us via email.

I offered to call him if he would reply with his phone number

No reply.

A few weeks passed.

I called his wife.

“He needs you”, she cried.

She too was feeling the effects of living with her stressed out husband.

“I’ll remind him again”, she said.

Another few weeks passed.

I called again and left a message.

A few days later I got an email from his wife.

I talked to him and he said he’s just not in the right headspace.”

This is the part that makes me very sad.

It’s a Catch 22!

I’m too busy and stressed to find the time to get the help yet getting the help will relieve the stress and busyness and improve the headspace.

Knowing I can help just by listening and providing a safe place for people to share what’s going on and then develop a plan and provide support for things to change – emotionally, mentally, physically, strategically really upsets me when I see people in pain.

I can’t force people to help themselves.

Why is it that so often we won’t ask for or accept help?

If you’re in the same situation as Brad, please don’t prolong it.

Do yourself and your family a favour. Accept the help when it’s offered.

P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thought delivered directly to their inbox.

Go to https://shirleydalton.com/Weekly-Thoughts.

Pin It on Pinterest