Know What You are Competing For (WT478)

Know What You are Competing For (WT478)

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by Shirley Dalton | 23 Aug, 2019 | Blog, Mindset

WT478 Know what you are competing for

This week, I trialled a new activity for self-awareness with some participants for an in-house training session.

Participants had to share their preferences for how their colleagues could best work with them.

To make it fun, participants had to select some items without realising that the number of items they selected equalled the number of things they had to share about themselves.

The instructions were simple, “Take as many items as you like.” 

It was really interesting to see how the participants turned this into a competition. They competed for items which backfired on them when they realised the connection between the number of items and number of shares. 

Suddenly those who had not collected many items were now feeling relieved.

The competition that participants created wasn’t the aim of the activity, however, it did provide an opportunity to gain valuable insights into understanding that you need to know what you are competing for before committing. 

It also provided an opportunity for participants to realise that making assumptions (as in more items is better) can be risky.

What would you have done?  Would you have questioned whether the number of items was important or would you have gotten swept up in the competition, which turned out to not be something many wanted to win?

You’re Such an Idiot (WT474)

You’re Such an Idiot (WT474)

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by Shirley Dalton | 26 Jul, 2019 | Blog, Mindset

WT 474 You're such an idiot

Of course I’m not talking about you.

This is what I’ve been saying to myself the past few days; even though I know better than to do that. 

Sometimes my ability to criticise myself astounds me.

I’ve been working day and night to make sure I have everything ready for our launch today for the Leading Yourself and Leading Others Membership Site.

I have pushed myself to learn about 4 or 5 new software programs to make sure they all talk to each other.

I was setting up the member logins and wanted to simply add their details to the new site.

There was an action step that generated a Welcome email, which I did not want to send.

Without realising that I had duplicate automation sequences, of course I chose the one that included the Welcome email and away it went before I realised.

“Damn!” (Well I said worse than that.) 

“Quick, send another email to make sure the members don’t try and login with the details in that email.”

I quickly put together an explanation and again, hit Send, only to find, to my horror, that in my haste, I had forgotten to update the Subject Line which was announcing our next Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience in August in Newcastle.

“Damn!” (Again!)

There was nothing I could do.

My Inner Critic had a field day.

“You’re such an idiot.” “How embarrassing?” “How could you have been so stupid?” “What will people think?”

On and on and on it went, until I screamed “Enough!” “Stop it!”

“Yes, I made a mistake. In fact I made two mistakes in quick succession. That doesn’t mean I give up. I’m learning. People will forgive me. Let’s look at all the things I’ve done right over the past few weeks to get this ready.” 

Does this happen to you, too?  Is your Inner Critic quick to judge and call you names?

If so, here’s a tip I learned from Jack Canfield a long time ago. He taught us to turn our Inner Critic into an Inner Coach.  The critic is there to help us improve, so we can thank it and let it know we’re aware of what needs to be changed or improved and we’re working on it. The name calling can stop.

Understanding that the critic only wants the best for us and for us to do well and achieve our goals makes it a little easier to bear when they can be so detailed with their improvement list.

I’m curious. What strategies do you use to silence your Inner Critic?

Have Faith – Take Action (WT473)

Have Faith – Take Action (WT473)

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by Shirley Dalton | 19 Jul, 2019 | Blog, Mindset

WT 473 Have Faith - Take Action

It was 1am. We were sleeping in a paddock (a free camp), with only two other caravans nearby.

We had stayed there the night before with about 20 vans and motorhomes and it was quiet and peaceful. We felt safe.

But not the next night. 

The locals had been partying all night and were starting to get unruly. Walking through the paddock they were singing, dancing, fighting and swearing.

I woke Ross. “Do you hear that?”

“What?”

“There’s people outside and they sound like they’re drunk. I’m uncomfortable. I think we should go.”

“It’ll be fine. They’re just loud like Charlie used to be. They’re most likely harmless.” 

I did my best to go back to sleep without success.

“I can’t do it. We have to go.”

Ross sighed as he got out of bed and got dressed.

Within about 10 minutes we had elevated the bed, pulled the covers off the windows, packed up and were driving out of the paddock.

“I need to get fuel,” Ross reminded me.

We found a service station and the lady (who was working by herself) said we could have stayed across the road but there had been quite a lot of people walking around.

With nowhere to go, we just had to have faith and take action.

As Ross drove northward amidst the fog and B Double trucks carrying sugar cane, I checked the internet and we found another roadside camp about 40 kilometres away.

We arrived around 2:30am and just fitted into a spot off the road.

It was noisy and we didn’t care.

We were safe and our faith and taking action had paid off.

Your turn, what would you have done?

Would you have stayed or gone?

Can you remember a time when you had to act on faith and it worked out?

“Have faith” is something I constantly remind myself.

Stand Down Your Ego (WT465)

Stand Down Your Ego (WT465)

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by Shirley Dalton | 24 May, 2019 | Blog, Mindset

WT 465 Stand down your ego

I’m not sure if this week’s heading is grammatically correct. Maybe you can come up with a better heading. 

Here’s the message.

Since Ross and I have been travelling we’ve learned sooooooo much; so many things we didn’t know we didn’t know. 

This week I was listening to a presentation and the speaker mentioned how he had evolved his business once he was able to push his ego aside and take on the lessons.

This really resonated with me because I have had to do the same thing during the past few months.

I don’t know everything and certainly I am finding out, I know very little about travelling in a motorhome.

Standing at the counter at a pharmacy, I asked the assistant for some Bettamin (Vitamin B1). My sister-in-law told me about it the night before. It’s supposed to help prevent reactions to sandfly and mosquito bites. The assistant knew exactly what I was referring to.

I also asked her for some insect repellent. As she went to get it for me, an older man who was waiting on a script quietly advised me, “the bushies recipe works better than that and it’s much cheaper”.

“Oh. What is that?” I asked.

“Equal quantities of Dettol and Baby Oil. Mix it in a squirter bottle and it will keep all the insects away.” 

“Fantastic. Thank you so much. We are going to the supermarket now, so we can buy the stuff now, too.”

We still purchased the insect repellent from the pharmacy and made our way to the supermarket, only to run into the man again.

Holding up our ingredients, we were eager to show him we had listened to his advice.

Ross made up the recipe as soon as we got back to where we’re staying.

The next day I was working from my computer at the local library. (I needed to charge my computer, since we didn’t have electricity the night before.) A lady started chatting to me and we both admired and were thankful for the library resources. 

I mentioned the recipe, to which she added, “Oh, Dettol can be a bit hard on your skin. We also add Sorbolene to that. We even rub it on the horses at our property”, she replied.  (We were in a rural town.) She added, “We use 1/3 of each and it is so easy to rub on your skin.” 

“Thank you so much.”

Later that day we met our new neighbours in the caravan park and they added tea tree oil to the recipe.

So far I have used the initial recipe of half Dettol and half Baby Oil and it has worked. We also bought some Sorbolene and will add that and test it and then after that will add the Tea Tree Oil.

It’s a long winded story to make the point about putting your ego to one side or demanding it to stand down long enough to accept that others may know more than you do about particular topics.

How healthy is your ego? Are you open to it standing down?

Follow the Path (WT464)

Follow the Path (WT464)

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by Shirley Dalton | 17 May, 2019 | Blog, Mindset

WT 464 Follow the path

Many times I’ve mentioned, “How we do anything is how we do everything.”

Whenever I am walking or driving somewhere I tend to follow the path. 

The other day we stopped in Coffs Harbour to get some chemicals for our bathroom. Ross reversed Contessa and I jumped out to run in to the shop and quickly buy what we needed. 

I scanned the carpark and found a path with hand rails. 

I headed for the path. 

As I walked up the path I realised that the shop entrance was directly opposite Ross and the motorhome. 

I turned the corner and walked the extra few metres to the entrance. 

Of course as I looked in Ross’ direction, he had been watching the whole thing and there he sat, laughing his head off. Typical of Ross, he doesn’t miss a thing, even when you wish he would. 

Embarrassed and red faced because I could have simply walked across the carpark straight to the entrance, I started to laugh myself, as I gestured my middle finger towards Ross. 

“How we do anything is how we do everything.” 

I always follow the path. 

I’m curious, what would you have done? 

Would you have noticed the quick and easy way or like me, would you follow the path, even if it takes longer?

Keep the Faith (WT463)

Keep the Faith (WT463)

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by Shirley Dalton | 10 May, 2019 | Blog, Mindset

WT463 Keep the Faith

 My vision for travelling and working around Australia was to be able to continue coaching and training with my clients. 

I have to say the first month or two was a bit rough, especially having to dress in my corporate clothes and apply make-up. This didn’t fit the vision and on a few occasions I cried to Ross, “This isn’t what I had in mind. I visualised being on the phone coaching and helping people, wearing my shorts and T-shirt and looking out over the ocean.”

This week the vision finally came to light. Situated overlooking the magnificent Number 1 Beach at Seal Rocks in New South Wales, I got to coach, even with poor network availability and phone coverage.

I smiled as I found myself encouraging one of my clients to “Keep the Faith”. Often as I coach, a little voice in my head asks me, “Are you listening to this? Are you hearing this advice?”

On many occasions I think the advice I give is really intended for me.

As it happened, my client was feeling down and almost ready to give in and give up. “You Can’t Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought”, I counselled.  This is actually the name of a book, a very big book by Peter McWilliams, which is definitely worth a read. Initially intended for people with life threatening illnesses (including life), the advice is relevant for all of us.

If I had given in or given up, we would not have Contessa; we would not be travelling and working from amazing places and meeting amazing people.

If you’re feeling down or feeling like what you want may not manifest, remind yourself, You Can’t Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought and you MUST, absolutely MUST Keep the Faith.

It is only your faith and determination and commitment that will see you through the hard times until you manifest what you want, be that health, wealth or relationships.

Until next week, Keep the Faith.

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