“I just feel like quitting Shirl,” she said, wiping the tears away.

“I’ve had enough. I’m over it.”

“I’ve put so much work into this and my creativity is being squashed. I’m at the point where I just can’t be bothered.”

Ever feel like this?

If so, here are a few mindset tips to help:

Remember, some days just feel heavier than others.

On those days, quitting can feel like the quickest way to stop the pain.

But most of the time, we don’t want to quit the goal.

We just want the negative feelings to go away.

Years ago, I attended a couple of Vipassana meditation retreats. One of the things we learned was, “This too shall pass”.

Keep that in mind. Our emotions don’t stay the same.

Here’s another great mantra, “Don’t quit when you’re tired. Quit when you’re done. And you’re not done yet”.

When it all feels too much, and you’re feeling overwhelmed, shrink it down.

Don’t look at the whole mountain. Just look at the next 10 minutes.

What can you do in the next 10 minutes to distract yourself?

I know it’s hard when you feel like this, however, please reach out before you walk away.

Hard moments soften when shared.

A breakdown isn’t failure. It’s feedback.

It’s a message that something needs rest, support or a reset.

You started for a reason. The reason hasn’t changed.

You are stronger than you feel today. Hold on. Pause if you need to.

Just don’t quit today.

P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thought delivered directly to their inbox.

Go to https://shirleydalton.com/Weekly-Thoughts.

When I’m running the Reset Your Mindset 2 hour presentation, I ask participants to imagine that their goal is to lose weight and then I say, “If I was to watch you eat for a week, do you think your eating habits would improve? If all I did was watch you?”

“Yes, of course”, they reply.

The reason for this is accountability.

It’s one of the reasons we work with coaches. Sometimes they don’t have to do anything other than observe us to make a difference.

So why am I telling you this?

Yesterday I went to see a dietitian.

I finally accepted the fact that I can’t do it by myself.  I have a goal to lose weight and I haven’t been able to keep myself accountable.

And let’s not even go there, if you think Ross might be able to hold me accountable.

So I’m sitting in the consultation room and we talk about what I eat and my diet is pretty good.

My water intake is bad.

I need to double the amount of water I’m consuming.

There’s no diet to follow (yay!).

There’s no calories to count.

I can eat breakfast, I don’t have to start intermittent fasting.

So what’s the catch?

“How is this going to work?” I think to myself, then she says “Before you come back again in a few months, I’d like you to take some photos of what you’re eating so I can see what you eat.”

Well, that’s it.  I started laughing.

She looked at me quizzically.

I explained I’m a mindset coach and shared the above example with her.

She laughed.

“I can already see my portion sizes will be smaller, if I have to take photos”, I said.

“Not yet”, she said.  “I want to see what you’re eating before we make changes.”

Now, you and I both know that I’m not taking photos of big plates of food.

It’s amazing how our brains work.

Just a little observation and accountability does wonders.

Is there something going on for you that you could use some help with?

Perhaps it’s time for you to admit you can’t do it by yourself.

There’s no shame in getting help when you need it.

P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thought delivered directly to their inbox.

Go to https://shirleydalton.com/Weekly-Thoughts.

Yesterday I presented a 2 hour free online training, “Systemise Your Business – Accelerate Your Success”.

One of the blockages leaders face is not having developed a leadership mindset, so we looked at how we can change this.

Question for you, have you ever wanted something and felt completely stuck because something felt like it was in the way?

Maybe you want to grow your business but not having enough people is in the way.
Maybe you want to earn more but not having enough time is in the way.

That’s a conflicted value — when you want something but you feel like something else is in the way.

When you experience this type of tug-of-war, you waste energy. But when you name it, you gain awareness — and that’s where change begins.

The key isn’t to pick one side and abandon the other.
It’s to use a neurological linking technique that links your desired outcome to your conflicted value.

All you need to do is get clear about the outcome you want and ask yourself whether you want more or less of the conflicted value.

For example, “I really want to scale my business but staff resistance is in the way”.

Do you want more or less staff resistance?

In this example, we’ll say less.

Now we can start the linking processes, “How will scaling my business give me even less staff resistance?”

It might be challenging at first to come up with some reasons because your brain doesn’t have a wired network for this – yet.  This is what you are creating.

If you ask yourself the question and then write out 100 reasons to answer it, you’ll start to rewire your brain and resolve the conflict.

No more tug of war.

Outcomes achieved.

This week your task is to identify where you have been torn?

What do you want and what do you think is in the way?

Do you want more or less of what is in the way?

Answer the question, “How will achieving my outcome give me more or less of the thing I think is in the way?

A big shout out to Benjamin J Harvey for his brilliance with this neurological linking technique.

Reply or contact me directly if you’d like to learn more or get some support to clear your conflicted values. You’ll be amazed at how quickly this technique works.

P.S.  Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thought delivered directly to their inbox.

Go to https://shirleydalton.com/Weekly-Thoughts.

This week I went for my regular mammogram.
The instructions were clear — no deodorant.

I knew this.
I showered, dried myself and then, without a single conscious thought, I reached for the deodorant and applied it.

“DOH!”
I had to wash it off again.

The force of habit took over.

It reminded me of something a long-term client said recently:

“It’s good to do a refresher with you, Shirley. It’s so easy to slip back into old habits, even though we know a better way.”

It’s true.  Neuroscience tells us that habits live deep in the brain’s basal ganglia, where automatic routines are stored. Once a behaviour is repeated often enough, it runs on autopilot.

Step out of the shower, apply deodorant.

Simple, predictable, efficient.

The brain loves efficiency.

It saves energy by running well-worn neural pathways rather than building new ones.

That’s why under stress or distraction, we default to the familiar, even when we know it’s not the best choice.

The good news is, we can rewire our brains.

Every time we replace an old routine with a new one and repeat it, we strengthen the new neural connection.

Over time, the new behaviour becomes just as automatic as the old one.

The first step is Awareness.
Second is to pause and notice the cue.
Third, choose a better response.

That’s how we build new habits in leadership, business, and life.

This week, I encourage you to take notice of one small habit you do automatically.
Ask yourself, “Does this still serve me?”

If not, what’s one new behaviour you could choose instead?

P.S.  Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thought delivered directly to their inbox.

Go to https://shirleydalton.com/Weekly-Thoughts.