I fell off my pushbike today.

I was following Ross and he navigated a tricky pedestrian crossing at the lights.

A car stopped for him and the driver waved him on.

I was happy to stop and wait, however the driver waved me on too.

I felt pressured to keep going, although I’m not as proficient at riding as Ross.

Of course I fell over.

Right in the middle of the road.

Right in front of the driver.

Right in front of all the other cars that were stopped at the lights.

I was embarrassed.

I was hurt and Ross was nowhere to be seen.

The young driver called out to see if I was ok.

I had somehow landed on my backside with both legs in the air and I managed to roll over and found myself laying there with hands, palms facing down on the road, for what seemed like minutes before I gathered myself and untwisted the bike and walked to the other side of the road.

Where was Ross?

All I wanted to do was cry and melt into his arms.

He had ridden up the road and was waiting; sitting on a seat outside our destination.

Now I was mad.

Instead of melting into his arms, I wanted to punch him.

“Get a mirror”, I screamed

“Get a mirror on that damn bike so you can see what’s happening behind you.”

Of course, this outburst came because of an earlier frustration I had had with him not hearing me call out when we were riding in Darwin.

And to my point, no matter what we are doing, we need to be present and remain alert and of course, not pressure ourselves when we’re in situations that are uncomfortable.

What will you do?

Will you get a mirror?

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We were stopped at the traffic lights on a hot and humid Friday afternoon in Darwin.

“OMG! Ross”, I yelled, “Nobody is helping” as I pointed to a young guy who was laying underneath his motorbike at the traffic lights on the side street to us.

As we were waiting for the lights to turn green I watched in horror as I saw the guy and the bike fall over.

I was stunned that nobody rushed to help.

There was a car in front of him and a car behind him and a long line of traffic.

Our lights turned green and we crossed the intersection and pulled up.

Without thinking, I jumped out of the van and ran to his aid.

Thankfully, by this time another man had appeared to help, amidst the women from the front car who only seemed interested in whether he had damaged their car before taking off.

We got the bike off him and picked the broken pieces up off the road and moved to the grass across the road.

He was shaken but okay.

He was more concerned that it wasn’t his bike.

He mentioned he was the apprentice and was able to call someone to come with a trailer to pick him up.

The other guy on the scene was able to wait with him.

I raced over to the motorhome and got him a bottle of water.

With that we got going.

“Wow, I can’t believe people didn’t rush to help”, I said to Ross.

It really upset me to see people just sitting in their car watching.

I know I’m not supposed to judge. Well that’s a judgement of myself, isn’t it?

It was another sad example of what psychologists call “The Bystander Effect”.

What this means is that if you’re in trouble, you’re better off to have just one other person around because if there are many, they will all stand back, thinking that someone else will help and of course, nobody does.

I’m curious. What would you have done?

Would you have sat in your car or would you have gone to his aid?

No judgement.

P.S. This month’s free online training is scheduled for Friday 16th July at 11:00am Sydney Time – Discover the Secrets to Finding, Hiring and Keeping the Right People. Click here to register.

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We’re talking about leadership and management of course.

It’s not for everyone. It’s not an easy role to have.

I remember when Ross was promoted to the Site Supervisor’s role. He had no idea how to lead and manage his team.

He did what most new leaders and managers do. He treated his team the way he had been treated in the past.

Working in male dominated heavy industry, he yelled a lot. He swore a lot and he was passive aggressive.

He hadn’t had any training and he would come home to me and tell me about his day.

I would cringe listening to him as he recounted the events of the day and how he treated his team.

I did my best to counsel him and mentor him.

I also strongly suggested that he join my next Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience, which to his credit, he did.

In fact, he has been a participant in 4 of the experiences as well as assisting me in many many more.

The change in him was amazing. He stopped swearing and yelling.

He invested the time to get to know his people. He stood up for them to higher management when needed.

The result. He created a very loyal, very productive and harmonious team.

At Christmas one year they had more work than they had workers and Ross facilitated a team meeting where they collectively created a plan for getting the work done. No surprises they all got to finish at midday Christmas Eve and got to enjoy the holiday period.

Being a leader isn’t easy and it doesn’t come naturally for most.

Leadership skills are skills you can learn and I’m excited to announce that the winner for our 11^th year of Weekly Thoughts, and a participant in our next Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience in Newcastle is Annie D.

Congratulations Annie and congratulations to all the entrants. It was a tough decision.

Remember, if it was easy, everyone would do it.

P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.