Persevere – It Will Get Better (WT459)

Persevere – It Will Get Better (WT459)

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by Shirley Dalton | 12 Apr, 2019 | Blog, Leadership

WT 459 Persevere - It will get better

It’s been just over a month since Ross and I started our journey in Contessa, (our motorhome).

We’ve been happily married for nearly 30 years and yet one month in Contessa nearly brought it all undone.

Living in such close quarters has required HUGE adjustments on both our parts.

As an only child and an introvert (i.e. I regenerate through solitude), I have struggled to find some time and space for myself.

Without periods of solitude I tend to get narky and cranky and passive aggressive.

Of course Ross reacts rather than responds and the whole situation just disintegrates.

I was doing my best to explain the situation to a colleague and I imagine that what we are going through is what many first time parents go through; waiting so long for the birth then realising how much work it is and not necessarily as much fun as expected, and hoping it will get better. As parents the realisation occurs that “This is it”. There is no going back.

Thankfully Ross and I remind ourselves of our commitment. We promised each other at least 50 years of happy healthy married life together. This keeps us going when times are tough.

In our leadership experience this past week, participants also learned the value of perseverance. Playing a game, one team were on the brink of giving up and changing things around. They persevered and came good at the end. It was a very valuable lesson for all of us.

This week, as I share our challenges with you and make the commitment to make it work, believing strongly that “It will get better” and therefore it will, I encourage you to notice any situations or relationships where your commitment might be needed to make it work.

Even though you may be thinking of giving up, ask yourself if you can stick it out for a little longer and make the commitment (if appropriate) to make it work.

Perseverance is a great quality to cultivate and certainly one I am improving on a daily basis.

Remember, persevere and it will get better.

So Much to Learn (WT455)

So Much to Learn (WT455)

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by Shirley Dalton | 15 Mar, 2019 | Blog, Leadership

WT 455 So much to learn

Do you remember a time when you were first learning something new?

Do you recall how frustrated you felt when you didn’t know something? 

Do you remember feeling useless, incompetent and stupid when you made mistakes? 

Well that’s exactly how Ross and I have felt this past week, as we learned to how live in an RV. 

We left a hose fitting on a tap in a caravan park which meant we couldn’t hook up to water in the next one. 

The water tap blew off a few times sending water everywhere. 

We didn’t realise we had to turn our water pump off when we were hooked up to water and so used our 100 litres in a day and a half. 

So many lessons, so much to learn; like the difference between grey and black water and where it can and can’t be dumped. 

On so many occasions both Ross and I started to beat up on ourselves for not knowing stuff and then we remember The 4 Stages or Steps to Learning: 

  1. Unconsciously Incompetent – You don’t know what you don’t know 
  1. Consciously Incompetent – Now I know I don’t know 
  1. Consciously Competent – Practising and thinking about what I am doing 
  1. Unconsciously Competent – I don’t have to think about it; it’s now become a habit or I do it unconsciously. 

We moved very quickly from Stage 1 to Stage 2. We now know how much we don’t know. Fortunately there are many experienced people who are happy to teach and share what they know and we are keen students. 

It has been a great reminder to be patient when learning something new. 

We will master this. 

This part of the learning process and it’s an adventure and like any journey, it’s not reaching the destination, but the journey to get there that we remember and recount. 

How about you? 

Can you relate to this at work or personally, or perhaps you’re training your team and you are all feeling frustrated. 

It’s all part of the journey and the process. 

Persevere and you will surely get there. 

There is always so much to learn.

Give Them a Project (WT452)

Give Them a Project (WT452)

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by Shirley Dalton | 22 Feb, 2019 | Blog, Leadership

WT 452 Give them a project

Many workplaces use the word “team” to describe their employees or various divisions within their companies and yet what they really have is a group of individuals.

A team works together to achieve a common goal. Individuals within a group work towards achieving their own results.

This week in our leadership experience, the participants experienced what it is like to become a team.

At the end of each session, participants are given homework to do; some complete the homework and some do not. Those who don’t complete the homework cause the group to “fail”.

In the initial stages, participants are concerned with their own success until they understand that their contribution or lack thereof affects everyone.

The way to move a group of individuals to become a team is to give them a project.

Years ago, a psychology experiment was conducted in America where school buddies were separated and placed into different groups at a summer camp. The groups were then manipulated and influenced to the point where the original school buddies no longer liked each other. The camp leaders and psychologists could not let the children return home with a dislike for their friends so they came up with a project which required ALL of the groups to participate to solve the problem.

As the groups worked with each other to solve the problem and complete the project, the relationships began to mend and the entire group became a team.

In our leadership experience, one person stepped up and took the lead, which the others were happy to follow. (As a sidebar, they learned that their people are looking for leadership and are happy to be led.)

There was a flurry of emails, phone calls and text messages as group members worked together to pass the assignment.

If you’re finding that your “team” is really operating as a group of individuals, reflect on the instructions you are giving, as well as the tasks.  Are the tasks set up for individual performance or is there a common goal the “team” are working towards?

If you want your people to work as a team, give them a common project or goal to achieve.

When You Have a Great Leader (WT442)

When You Have a Great Leader (WT442)

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by Shirley Dalton | 14 Dec, 2018 | Blog, Leadership

WT 442 When you have a great leader

Last week I became a Number 1 International Best Seller on Amazon with the book, “Empowering You Transforming Lives”. As a co-author, I contributed to the 365 daily inspirational quotes and messages that are designed to lift you up every day of the year. It was certainly a fantastic achievement and today I want to share with you, what for me, was the best part of being involved in the project – and that was being led by a great leader – Rebecca Hall Gruyter.

Thank you to everyone who supported me by purchasing the book. I am truly grateful. I appreciate you. 

Rebecca owns one of the networks that hosts my TV show “Business Life TV”, so when given the opportunity to be part of the book, of course I said “Yes”. 

That was lesson number 1 –  when you are given an opportunity say “Yes”.  

From the moment I leaned into the opportunity, I became part of the team. 

Rebecca held the vision for the book, the impact it would have in the world and for the authors.  

She consistently reminded and encouraged us towards the vision. 

She was clear with her communication and very timely. We knew exactly what we had to do, by when. Rebecca hosted regular online meetings to update everyone involved with each step of the project. 

When it came time to launch, I was given clear instructions and sample promotional posts for social media. I knew exactly what to expect. As an example, I was advised to allocate the day to engage and promote the launch and even though I didn’t really believe it at first, it proved correct. I started at 4am with a check in call, filmed a quick promotional video, launched on social media and the next time I looked at the clock it was 11am and I hadn’t had breakfast. 

It was amazing to see and be part of the collective efforts to reach the goal of No. 1 International Best Seller. 

During the day we received regular updates about sales. We received encouragement to continue to promote. We were given templates to use and we celebrated each and every little milestone. 

At the conclusion of the launch we had a special celebratory online meeting where we expressed our gratitude and truly celebrated the effort and success. How often do we achieve something and simply move on to the next? Celebration and acknowledgement is a critical part of the process. 

Can you recall a time when you felt that camaraderie? Can you recall working with a leader who has vision? Can you recall how you felt when the goal was achieved? Can you recall a time when you knew exactly what you had to do, why you had to do it and when? 

For me it was an amazing experience because I got to experience and remember what if feels like to be part of an amazing successful team being led by a great leader. 

How about you? If you’re a leader, would your team say the same?  If not, now might be a good time to step up. You can learn to improve your skills and awareness and become a great leader. 

My point today was to share what can be achieved and what it feels like when we experience great leadership. 

If you’d like to improve your skills, our next Leading Yourself and Leading Others experience is being held in Newcastle in February 2019.  Early Bird promo finishes on 31 December 2018. For more information go to https://shirleydalton.com/leading-yourself-leading-others-2019.

Anything is possible when you have a great leader!

Your People are Looking For Leadership (WT437)

Your People are Looking For Leadership (WT437)

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by Shirley Dalton | 9 Nov, 2018 | Blog, Leadership

WT 437 Your people are looking for leadership

Remember a few weeks ago, I mentioned I would ask for your opinion on leadership and management; well today is the day.

You can answer even if you don’t currently lead a team. Here’s the link for you to answer:  https://go.bucketforms.com/ds/23ea6bfb

“When it comes to leading and managing your team at work, what’s the single biggest challenge or frustration you’ve been struggling with? (Please be as detailed and specific as you can.)

Here’s why your people are looking for leadership:

“Leadership” is one of those words that many people find difficult to define. We all have our own perception and understanding of what it means to be a leader and to be led. Sadly, many of us have experienced poor role models and as a result, we perpetuate the problem because we don’t know any different. 

Leadership guru, John Maxwell, defines leadership as “becoming the type of person others trust to take them where they want to go”. Great leaders connect with their followers because the followers trust them. They trust the leader to look out for them and in return they are loyal and will do what’s necessary to get the job done. 

How do you become this type of person? Firstly, by knowing yourself and your people and secondly by learning skills such as; The Language of Leadership, The Art of Delegation, Giving Meaningful Feedback, Listening and Coaching and Mentoring. 

Good leaders connect emotionally and focus on doing the right things, whereas good managers focus on getting the tasks done and doing things right. There is a big difference between leadership and management and they are not mutually exclusive. 

Leadership and personal and professional development are topics I am extremely passionate about. The Return on Investment (ROI) for people who have the courage to look at themselves and how they show up in the world and how this affects their people is profound. Benefits include greater productivity, increased profitability, more harmony at work and at home, less complaints and conflict, better relationships, improved confidence and less stress.  

I’d love to know what your specific challenges are around leading and managing your teams at work. Please click on the link below to answer the question and I’ll share my findings with you when I have analysed them, in addition to sending you my Top 10 Leadership Skills series. 

Here’s the question again: “When it comes to leading and managing your team at work, what’s the single biggest challenge or frustration you’ve been struggling with?” Please be as detailed and specific as you can. Click on the link to answer.

https://go.bucketforms.com/ds/23ea6bfb

When You Need Reassurance (WT413)

When You Need Reassurance (WT413)

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by Shirley Dalton | 25 May, 2018 | Blog, Leadership

WT 413 When you need reassurance

It was 2 hours after the flight was scheduled to depart. I was flying from Fort Lauderdale to Freeport in Grand Bahama.

Firstly. we started to board then got called back to the departure lounge as new flight crew were called in. 

We departed only to have to turn around because of a medical emergency for one of the passengers. 

Without knowing what was happening, I sat in my seat sending love and light; pink for love and white light to keep the passenger safe and blue and green for healing. 

I sent it to the sick passenger and the flight attendant – a young girl in her mid twenties who went white herself when informed of the passenger’s situation. 

What was impressive as I sat waiting to take off for the 3rd time was the support and reassurance the Captain gave his flight attendant. Clearly she was upset about the ordeal and whilst I couldn’t hear or understand what he was saying to her, I was watching his body language as his eyes focussed intently on her and he reassured her that she had done everything correctly or so I imagined because she nodded and responded with a flicker of a smile. He nodded and shook his head this way and that as he stressed his points. She seemed to become calmer and he smiled – a genuine smile nodding as he re-entered the cockpit. 

Leadership is an interesting thing to watch. Without words you can see leadership in action. You can tell when your leader cares about you and when they have your back. 

I believe the passenger will be alright, it seems she suffered a tonic clonic seizure (previously known as a grand mal seizure) and was able to walk off the plane assisted. 

The Captain kept us informed of what was happening and also interacted with the young children in the plane with much patience. 

Whilst it was inconvenient for me and the other passengers it was a fantastic case study of leadership, reassurance and teamwork. 

And to you, as a leader what would you have done? How would you have reacted and what words would you have said to your crew? 

And if someone like me was watching you, what do you think they would be thinking about your leadership style and feelings toward your team?

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