I Wish I Hadn’t Said Anything (WT533)

I Wish I Hadn’t Said Anything (WT533)

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by Shirley Dalton | 11 Sep, 2020 | Blog, Leadership

WT533 I Wished I Hadn't Said Anything

How many times have you said that to yourself?

“I wish I hadn’t said anything.”

The other night Ross was watching some teenage boys who kept looking around to see if anyone was watching.

You know the look people get on their face when they know they are doing something wrong and they don’t want anyone to see.

I watched for a few minutes too. They were doing their best to break a pipe on the side of a community building opposite from where we were staying.

Knowing the story of Kitty Genovese, who was murdered in 1961 in New York and not one person even rang the Police to get help, even though there were hundreds of people who heard her screams. And knowing the psychology breakthroughs that the investigation inspired which led to what is known as “The Bystander Effect”, where you are better off if you find yourself in trouble to only have one other person around. They will most likely help you, whereas if there a number of people around, they will most likely stand back, thinking that someone else will help (and of course, nobody does).

And knowing the story of Victor Frankl whose family and himself were captured and put into Nazi prison camps and his words “Evil prospers when good men stand by and say nothing”, of course I poked my head out of the van and asked them, “What are you doing?”

They ignored me.

I was about to get on a call so I couldn’t follow it up but Ross did. He walked over to them, asked them what they were doing and was threatened by the older one “What are you coming over here for and getting in my face, do you want a punch in the “bcfing” head?”

They argued for a while. The teenager told Ross “it was public property and therefore he could do anything he liked to it”. The teenager continued working on extracting the pipe. Ross threatened to call the Police at which stage they ran off.

Then the doubt set in. “I wished I hadn’t said anything. What if they come back and slash the tyres? What if they bring their big brothers back? What if…. What if …..?”

For the rest of the night, I was uneasy. I wished I hadn’t said anything. I wished I had handled it differently and yet on a deeper level I knew better than to see something and ignore it.

What would you have done?

The question for all of us is, “Do you do the right thing or do you stand by and do nothing and let evil prosper?”

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I’m Fine (WT530)

I’m Fine (WT530)

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by Shirley Dalton | 21 Aug, 2020 | Blog, Leadership

I'm fine

I was talking with a colleague this week and as we often do, we got into a deep and meaningful conversation about leadership.

We discussed the saying, “If you don’t want the answer, don’t ask the question” and the ramifications of not asking, or worse, asking and then accepting the answer, even if you don’t believe the answer.

As an example, (we’ll call him Ted), explained how his kids will sense that his energy is off or his demeanour is rather gruff and they’ll ask him, “Are you angry daddy?”. His response is usually “No, I’m not angry”, hoping they will leave it at that.

Of course, kids being kids, they don’t leave it at that and they persist, “Are you sure?”. They keep going until he either admits what he is feeling or he changes his demeanour to match what he is saying.

How often do you simply accept the answer someone gives you, even though you have an innate sense that what they are saying is not true, just because it is easier to accept than to question?

Good leaders know their people and they know when what they are saying and what they are doing or how they are showing up is out of alignment.

Good leaders are present; not distracted. They are aware. They see, they listen and they enquire.

Good leaders have taken the journey from being totally unaware to becoming aware of themselves and their team.

They give themselves permission to ask and to follow up. They don’t take the easy road to simply accept an answer at face value.

Are you a good leader or do you aspire to be? If so, you won’t accept “I’m fine” for an answer when your senses tell you, they are not fine.

Remember, it takes courage to not leave it alone. It takes courage to ask and it takes courage to confront.

What will you do next time you ask and the answer you get is “I’m fine”?

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I’m Leaving (WT528)

I’m Leaving (WT528)

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by Shirley Dalton | 7 Aug, 2020 | Blog, Leadership

WT 528 I'm Leaving

When you’ve got good people, the last thing you want to hear is “I’m leaving”. 

Talking with one of my rockstars this week, we discussed the importance of knowing your people so you don’t get blindsided when they give their notice.

“The more I know about the people I lead, the easier it is for me”, she said.

Knowing your people is the second milestone on our Blueprint for Business Freedom. 

When you know your people, you know what motivates them. You know what they want and don’t want. You understand what’s going on for them out of work. You know what’s important to them.

Think about your team. What do you know about them? 

Are they in a relationship?  

Do they have kids? 

What do they do for fun? 

What are their goals; at work and out of work? 

What is their Love Language; how do they like to be appreciated? 

How do they like to learn? 

How do they like to be managed? 

What do they like about the work they do? 

What don’t they like? 

What are they good at? 

What are they not good at? 

Are they ambitious? 

The more you know about your people, the more you’ll understand them and the more you understand them, the easier it will be to look for a win win situation to help them get what they want, so you can get what you want. 

One of my former bosses, Kip McGrath, was a master at knowing his people. I started working with him in August 2000. By December 2000, he gave me a $5000 pay increase. He also knew I was ambitious and I loved to learn and grow and develop.

A few months later, he came to me with a proposal. “I’ll give you 3 years of management training if you give me 5 years of service.”

There was no written agreement. It was a handshake. We agreed on a number of 6 monthly milestones and each time I met them, my pay and responsibility increased.

Within 3 years, I was a senior member of the executive team and had tripled my income.

Kip was such an amazing boss and mentor. He knew his people and he always found ways to create a win win situation for his employees and the business.

Back to you. How well do you know your people?

Would you see it coming before they announce “I’m leaving”?

Keeping Yourself Accountable (WT517)

Keeping Yourself Accountable (WT517)

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by Shirley Dalton | 22 May, 2020 | Blog, Leadership

WT517 Keeping Yourself Accountable

This week, we started our first virtual LIVE online Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience. I was so thrilled and delighted that the group passed their very first homework assignment.

“Big Deal”, you might be thinking.

Yes it is a big deal. It’s a very big deal. In over 10 years of facilitating this experience, there have only been about 3 or 4 groups that have actually passed some of the homework and only one group that passed ALL of the homework activities.

By doing the homework, participants learn what it means to be both a member of a team and to lead a team. One of the key lessons is Accountability.

What I’ve found is that there are very few people who can hold themselves accountable to finish tasks or projects, or at times even start projects. 

It seems we need to check in with someone else BUT not just anyone.

Ross and I find it very difficult to keep each other accountable. We may decide we want to do something or stop doing something and then when we falter, we let each other off the hook. We are not holding each other accountable. 

This is the reason why people join gym groups or have personal trainers. It’s what they need to make sure they show up and do the work. 

It’s what your team members require from you, the Leader. They want to know you have their back and will keep them accountable to complete their tasks or work according to the procedures.

Even your kids want to know you are watching and will hold them accountable.

Having to share your progress with another person is the best way I know to help you get something done.

Who is your accountability buddy?

Who can you ask if you don’t currently have someone?

What is it you want to achieve or complete?

How can your accountability buddy help you?

When Someone Else Believes in You (WT514)

When Someone Else Believes in You (WT514)

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by Shirley Dalton | 1 May, 2020 | Blog, Leadership

WT514 When Someone Else Believes in You

At times, we don’t always believe in ourselves and this can hold us back from achieving our full potential. 

I remember years ago, when Ross’ supervisor was promoted, he wanted to nominate Ross to take over his position. At first Ross was hesitant.

“No thanks. I just want to do my work. I don’t want to supervise anyone. I’m not management material,” he protested.

With a little encouragement from me, he reluctantly took the role. 

When he began, he had few leadership skills and zero experience. He joined one of my Leading Yourself and Leading Others experiences and immediately started applying what he learned and within a short time, became an exceptionally good leader.

The guys he supervised complimented him and remarked how much they appreciated his loyalty to them. 

A few years later, it was Ross’ turn to nominate someone to take over his position. Sadly, his choice didn’t believe in himself and wouldn’t borrow Ross’ belief, so he turned down the opportunity. Six month’s later, at a work reunion, he shared how much he regretted that decision.

In the past few weeks, I’ve witnessed a similar scenario where upper management have offered the opportunity to participate in our Leadership experience to some of their middle managers who disappointingly declined the opportunity.

Upper management believed in their people and were happy to invest in them. They were shocked when one employee attempted to negotiate for the training investment to be spent on technical training which would have benefitted the employee, not necessarily the company or the team they lead. 

If you find a similar thing happening in your workplace, ask yourself whether you need to give your people the benefit of the doubt and teach them the rules of the game or encourage them or find out whether they fit the category of those who really do not wish to be managers.

It’s been an interesting couple of weeks.

When you have someone who believes in you, say ‘Thank You’ and accept the opportunity. 

In the meantime, know that I believe in you.

The Unassuming Leader (WT505)

The Unassuming Leader (WT505)

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by Shirley Dalton | 28 Feb, 2020 | Blog, Leadership

WT505 The Unassuming Leader

This week’s thought is truly inspirational.

It’s the story of one of my clients.

I won’t name names because she would hate that.

She was sharing with me how surprised she was at the reaction of some of her work colleagues in relation to a health goal she had set for herself a few months back.

To achieve the goal takes courage, commitment and dedication, all of which she has in spades.

Unwavering in her actions and commitment over the past few months, she is making real progress towards her goal. 

“It’s more than a goal”, I remarked. “What you have is a vision and your workmates can clearly see the vision, and they have all jumped on board with you.”

She sat with that for a moment.

“I guess you are right”, she said. “I’ve never really thought about it like that.”

True leadership is about appealing to people’s emotions. It’s about getting them on board with your vision. When they are on board, they will do whatever they can to fulfill the vision.

In my client’s case, the entire company has jumped on board with her vision. They see her as a role model and they are inspired by her. Even her family members are on board as well.

She is what I call, The Unassuming Leader. She hasn’t broadcast her vision/goal. She hasn’t cajoled people into helping and supporting her. She hasn’t offered wild incentives to motivate people nor has she threatened harsh consequences.

Rather, she has quietly gotten on with the job. She’s shared her vision when asked and has simply shown up and shown the way.

Leaders are found in all walks of life and in all positions.

As John Maxwell says, “Leadership is about becoming the type of person others trust to take them where they want to go.”

In this case, they are being inspired on a daily basis without a big fan fare and they are all quietly working towards the same goal and it’s impressive to observe.

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