Is it Lack of Care or Lack of Training (WT450)

Is it Lack of Care or Lack of Training (WT450)

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by Shirley Dalton | 8 Feb, 2019 | Blog, Business

WT500 Make Me Feel Welcome

How we communicate in business and in life determines the results we get.

As leaders, it’s our job to ensure that we train our teams to support them to do their work.

This week I found myself reflecting on some communication I experienced with a property officer. 

As we prepare to move out, ready for our next big adventure in our motorhome, I asked if we needed to do anything to apply for our bond. We had been leasing premises in Newcastle since our return from the USA because we still had a goal of travelling.

I was stunned at the response I received. “No, we will release the bond to you once we are happy with the property.”

Wow! I reacted to this. Am I being too sensitive?  

On another occasion she informed me that I had to ensure that when she came to do the final inspection, that the property had to be brought back to the condition that it was in when we moved in.

“Really. Excuse me.”

I couldn’t believe I was hearing this.

I felt like I was being treated like someone who had trashed the house.

Was it lack of care on her part, or lack of training?

Her communication did nothing to foster a good relationship with me and I certainly wouldn’t recommend that company.

As it turns out, her boss, a director of the company will be conducting the final inspection which will give me the opportunity to provide feedback.

Thinking about your workplace, are you aware of the communication between your people and your customers? Are you confident that the communication follows your policies and procedures? Have you trained your people? What would your customers say about their interaction with your people?

Would they be wondering if it’s lack of care or lack of training?

You Gotta Name the Baby (WT448)

You Gotta Name the Baby (WT448)

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by Shirley Dalton | 25 Jan, 2019 | Blog, Business

WT 448 You gotta name the baby

Years ago, I remember watching an episode of Jerry Seinfeld. One of his friends had just had a baby and in that strong New York accent she kept nagging at him, “You gotta see the baby”.

In a similar vein, a mentor of mine, Lisa Sasevich used to nag us, “You gotta name the baby”.

What Lisa was referring to was our products and services and this week I found myself encouraging one of my clients to “Name the Baby”. In his case it was a project rather than a product or service.

When you name something, it makes it easy for everyone to be on the same page.

It makes it easy for your team or customers to know what you are talking about.

It makes it easy for people to be able to refer to it and refer it on.

Here are a few examples of some of my products – Leading Yourself and Leading Others, Intuitive Mastermind, People and Process Fundamentals. Now I’m not saying all the names are fantastic, some could be better; the point is they have a name and we can refer to them.

Think about the Police force. They have names for their operations. In some cases these are also code names. 

Whatever it is you are doing, you need to give it a name.

When you name it, it becomes real.

And don’t underestimate the power of a name. If you’re into numerology, you know the power of the numbers and of course all the letters have a corresponding number. Take my name as an example S1, h8, i9, r9, l3, e5, y7. “Shirley” adds up to 42, reduced to 6 (4+2).  Six is all about service. It’s the counsellor. It’s concerned about family and nurturing people. The Affinity Numerology website explains it this way “A number’s meaning can be thought of as the number’s basic tone or vibration”.

Your mission this week is to do an audit of your projects, products and services.  Have you named them? Do people refer to them by name?  If not, you know what to do.

You can also look at the numerology of your name. This can make a huge difference to the tone or vibration of your product, service or project.

Remember, you gotta name the baby.

We’ll Talk About That Later (WT446)

We’ll Talk About That Later (WT446)

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by Shirley Dalton | 11 Jan, 2019 | Blog, Business

WT 446 We'll talk about that later

It took me a long time to figure out that when I made a request of my mother and her reply was, “We’ll talk about that later,” it was code for “No, that’s not happening. Definitely not.”

Why she couldn’t just say “No”, always intrigued me and then I found out that she wasn’t the only one who used codes.

One of my former boss used to say, “I’ll consider it”.

My friend’s mum says, “I’ll have a little think”.

What does your boss or mother or father or partner say?

Why do we seem to find it so hard to say, “No”?

Gordon Training International answers with the following:

  1. Desire to please. “What will she think of me?”
  1. Fear of hurting someone. “I don’t want to disappoint her.”
  1. Guilt. “How could I turn them down?”
  1. Surprise. “Well, I guess I could do it.”
  1. Deference to authority. “Yes, sir!”
  1. Reciprocation. “She’d do it for me.”
  1. Duty. “I owe it to them.”
  1. Need for power. “If I say ‘No’, they’ll think I can’t handle it.”

I’m curious. How many of the above apply to you?

I’m fascinated by how many of us, me included at times, will shy away from simply saying, “No thank you.”

In fact, when we don’t speak our truth, we are actually lying by omission.

Ouch!

How many of you in sales would much prefer to hear “No”, as quickly as possible, so you can move on and not harass people who aren’t interested in what you have to offer, as well as not waste yours or their time?

In fact, Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz wrote a book, titled “Go for No” to explain why it’s so important (if counter intuitive) to “Go for No”, rather than chasing a “Yes”.

They get excited when they hear “No” because it means they are closer to a “Yes”. For example, one of my clients wanted to find a girlfriend so he set himself a task of getting 100 “No’s”. The rationale behind this is that the 100 “No’s” meant that he would keep asking ladies out on a date, and not be upset if they said “No” because he simply crossed that one off the list and moved to the next. Consequently, he gave more invitations, and therefore actually got more dates.

So the moral to the story this week is two fold.

  1. It’s ok, in fact it’s preferable, for you to say “No”, when it’s a “No”. No more hiding behind codes or keeping people hanging on.
  1. If you are in sales, Go for No. It will increase the number of calls you make, which in turn will increase the number of “Yeses” you receive.

Give it a go and let me “No” the outcome!

You, Me and the Trojan Horse (WT445)

You, Me and the Trojan Horse (WT445)

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by Shirley Dalton | 4 Jan, 2019 | Blog, Business

WT 445 You, me and the Trojan Horse

Every now and then we get a wake up call.

As we step into 2019, I was fortunate enough to connect with a fabulous guide on LinkedIn and received such a wake up call. 

Here’s the back story:

All year I have been connecting with people all over the world on LinkedIn. One lady in particular, Kay Sanders, wrote to me and said she was making an effort to actually connect with people she had “met” via LinkedIn.

This sounded good to me, and you know I am always up for a chat and to meet people.

It turns out she’s a business intuitive in Texas and reads the Akashic Records. According to Kay, the Akashic Records are “your soul’s library of thoughts, events, and emotions from all life-times. Every soul has its own sacred Akashic Records containing information about the past, present, and future possibilities of that individual soul.”

I was fascinated to hear her journey and that of some of her clients. Here’s where the Trojan Horse comes in.

I was sharing how this year I would like to be more open about my spirituality and that in the past I had shared this with my clients once they knew me and trusted me and that I was afraid to lead with my gifts. 

Kay then tells me about a client of hers, an executive coach who is also very spiritual and who finds himself healing people with Reiki and all sorts of modalities, once they trust him. Sounds familiar! Then came the clanger. He referred to himself as a Trojan Horse. Kay wasn’t keen on this because it is not authentic. Well I was totally confronted.  

Is that how I had been behaving? Was I a Trojan Horse?

In that instant I decided I would be open to being more authentic; to sharing who I really am.

I am spiritual. I do have the gift of sight and I also hear things. It’s these gifts that help me when I am coaching, listening or teaching and (gulp), somehow I am going to find a way to be more comfortable to share my gifts and lead with them from now on.

Now, you don’t get out of this either.

Who are you?

Are you being authentic or are you a Trojan Horse?

What will you do in 2019?  Will you allow yourself to be yourself and express who you are, whomever that may be? 

Let’s make a pact – that starting this year, 2019, a universal number 3 year, full of creativity and self expression, that we will allow ourselves to be more of ourselves and share ourselves with others and support and encourage each other to do so. 

There! I went first. As Lisa Sasevich says, “Leaders go first.” Now it’s your turn.

Who will you be this year? How will you show up?

I wish you the happiest, healthiest, wealthiest and most of all – authentic years!

Happy New Year!

Find Another Way (WT443)

Find Another Way (WT443)

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by Shirley Dalton | 21 Dec, 2018 | Blog, Business

One of the things I love most about working with business owners and leaders is their ability to problem solve and innovate.

I remember feeling so constricted when I worked for the government. It seemed like everything needed a committee and no-one on the committee would commit to a decision, just in case they would be held responsible.

In private enterprise it is just the opposite. I remember my former boss telling me to “Lose that piece of paper that you cover your arse with; you’re not in the Government now”.  Today we might question the political correctness of the statement, however his advice served me well.

I did lose the piece of paper and I did learn to take responsibility and make decisions.

I found other ways to get things done.

Which brings me to Christmas.

There are no excuses. It’s nobody else’s fault. I am responsible. I did not organise myself to send cards; even though I think of people and want them to know how much I value them. 

I didn’t organise gifts, even though I would often envision a gift that would be well received. 

So I asked myself, the universe and the Committee of Sleep, “How can I express my gratitude and appreciation and wish everyone in my community a wonderful Christmas and New Year?” 

The answer – a video message. 

And here it is.  My Christmas wishes to you and your family. 

Please click on the link. It’s 50 seconds.

Wishing you the merriest of Christmas’ and a bright, happy, healthy and prosperous 2019.

Thank you for being on this journey with me. I appreciate you and I can’t wait to see what 2019 brings for all of us.

This Is How It Is For Me (WT441)

This Is How It Is For Me (WT441)

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by Shirley Dalton | 7 Dec, 2018 | Blog, Business

WT 441 This is how it is for me

It’s so interesting how each week seems to have its own theme. 

Generally, I find that more than one person appears to be dealing with the same issue, albeit in slightly different ways. 

This week’s theme relates to expressing how we feel. “This is how it is for me …” 

On a number of occasions this week I’ve listened as clients, colleagues and friends have expressed their frustration at situations in their lives and yet they have avoided having the one conversation they need to have. 

The following example was expressed by no less than five people this week, so I am not sharing one person’s dilemma, rather a sample. See if you can relate. 

Employees not wanting to do certain tasks that are in their job description, instead preferring to do the tasks they want to do. Employees not seeing the bigger picture and the ground work that needs to be done and the teamwork that needs to happen before the rewards can be shared. The boss feeling frightened that if they mention anything, the employee will leave. (Feeling like you are being held to ransom.) 

Here’s the thing; when asked if they had shared how they were feeling about the employees’ behaviour, the answer was “No”. 

Nothing can change if we are not willing to express how it is for us. 

I don’t know the statistics but in comparison to the general population, there are very few psychics. I’m being sarcastic. Your employees cannot read your mind. If you don’t tell them, they don’t know. 

They may be able to guess something is wrong, especially when you are barking orders at them or walking off in a huff. They will experience the energy, and yet most will not understand what’s causing your reaction. 

If you are not having the conversation, you are not being honest with yourself or your employees or colleagues or family members. 

A simple way to start is to ask for some time to discuss the situation and introduce the topic by saying, “I’d like to share how it is for me”.  Most people are open to listening to what is going on. 

From there, be open to how things can be resolved, rather than wanting to direct the conversation to the outcome you’ve already decided.  

Your mission this week is to be honest with yourself. Are you avoiding expressing how you are really feeling? If so, I encourage you to initiate the conversation. Even if it brings out defence from the other person (and it probably will), at least you will both know the truth of what is going on and you can both work towards resolving it. 

“This is how it is for me …..”

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