You, Me and the Trojan Horse (WT445)

You, Me and the Trojan Horse (WT445)

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WT 445 You, me and the Trojan Horse

Every now and then we get a wake up call.

As we step into 2019, I was fortunate enough to connect with a fabulous guide on LinkedIn and received such a wake up call. 

Here’s the back story:

All year I have been connecting with people all over the world on LinkedIn. One lady in particular, Kay Sanders, wrote to me and said she was making an effort to actually connect with people she had “met” via LinkedIn.

This sounded good to me, and you know I am always up for a chat and to meet people.

It turns out she’s a business intuitive in Texas and reads the Akashic Records. According to Kay, the Akashic Records are “your soul’s library of thoughts, events, and emotions from all life-times. Every soul has its own sacred Akashic Records containing information about the past, present, and future possibilities of that individual soul.”

I was fascinated to hear her journey and that of some of her clients. Here’s where the Trojan Horse comes in.

I was sharing how this year I would like to be more open about my spirituality and that in the past I had shared this with my clients once they knew me and trusted me and that I was afraid to lead with my gifts. 

Kay then tells me about a client of hers, an executive coach who is also very spiritual and who finds himself healing people with Reiki and all sorts of modalities, once they trust him. Sounds familiar! Then came the clanger. He referred to himself as a Trojan Horse. Kay wasn’t keen on this because it is not authentic. Well I was totally confronted.  

Is that how I had been behaving? Was I a Trojan Horse?

In that instant I decided I would be open to being more authentic; to sharing who I really am.

I am spiritual. I do have the gift of sight and I also hear things. It’s these gifts that help me when I am coaching, listening or teaching and (gulp), somehow I am going to find a way to be more comfortable to share my gifts and lead with them from now on.

Now, you don’t get out of this either.

Who are you?

Are you being authentic or are you a Trojan Horse?

What will you do in 2019?  Will you allow yourself to be yourself and express who you are, whomever that may be? 

Let’s make a pact – that starting this year, 2019, a universal number 3 year, full of creativity and self expression, that we will allow ourselves to be more of ourselves and share ourselves with others and support and encourage each other to do so. 

There! I went first. As Lisa Sasevich says, “Leaders go first.” Now it’s your turn.

Who will you be this year? How will you show up?

I wish you the happiest, healthiest, wealthiest and most of all – authentic years!

Happy New Year!

Find Another Way (WT443)

Find Another Way (WT443)

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One of the things I love most about working with business owners and leaders is their ability to problem solve and innovate.

I remember feeling so constricted when I worked for the government. It seemed like everything needed a committee and no-one on the committee would commit to a decision, just in case they would be held responsible.

In private enterprise it is just the opposite. I remember my former boss telling me to “Lose that piece of paper that you cover your arse with; you’re not in the Government now”.  Today we might question the political correctness of the statement, however his advice served me well.

I did lose the piece of paper and I did learn to take responsibility and make decisions.

I found other ways to get things done.

Which brings me to Christmas.

There are no excuses. It’s nobody else’s fault. I am responsible. I did not organise myself to send cards; even though I think of people and want them to know how much I value them. 

I didn’t organise gifts, even though I would often envision a gift that would be well received. 

So I asked myself, the universe and the Committee of Sleep, “How can I express my gratitude and appreciation and wish everyone in my community a wonderful Christmas and New Year?” 

The answer – a video message. 

And here it is.  My Christmas wishes to you and your family. 

Please click on the link. It’s 50 seconds.

Wishing you the merriest of Christmas’ and a bright, happy, healthy and prosperous 2019.

Thank you for being on this journey with me. I appreciate you and I can’t wait to see what 2019 brings for all of us.

This Is How It Is For Me (WT441)

This Is How It Is For Me (WT441)

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WT 441 This is how it is for me

It’s so interesting how each week seems to have its own theme. 

Generally, I find that more than one person appears to be dealing with the same issue, albeit in slightly different ways. 

This week’s theme relates to expressing how we feel. “This is how it is for me …” 

On a number of occasions this week I’ve listened as clients, colleagues and friends have expressed their frustration at situations in their lives and yet they have avoided having the one conversation they need to have. 

The following example was expressed by no less than five people this week, so I am not sharing one person’s dilemma, rather a sample. See if you can relate. 

Employees not wanting to do certain tasks that are in their job description, instead preferring to do the tasks they want to do. Employees not seeing the bigger picture and the ground work that needs to be done and the teamwork that needs to happen before the rewards can be shared. The boss feeling frightened that if they mention anything, the employee will leave. (Feeling like you are being held to ransom.) 

Here’s the thing; when asked if they had shared how they were feeling about the employees’ behaviour, the answer was “No”. 

Nothing can change if we are not willing to express how it is for us. 

I don’t know the statistics but in comparison to the general population, there are very few psychics. I’m being sarcastic. Your employees cannot read your mind. If you don’t tell them, they don’t know. 

They may be able to guess something is wrong, especially when you are barking orders at them or walking off in a huff. They will experience the energy, and yet most will not understand what’s causing your reaction. 

If you are not having the conversation, you are not being honest with yourself or your employees or colleagues or family members. 

A simple way to start is to ask for some time to discuss the situation and introduce the topic by saying, “I’d like to share how it is for me”.  Most people are open to listening to what is going on. 

From there, be open to how things can be resolved, rather than wanting to direct the conversation to the outcome you’ve already decided.  

Your mission this week is to be honest with yourself. Are you avoiding expressing how you are really feeling? If so, I encourage you to initiate the conversation. Even if it brings out defence from the other person (and it probably will), at least you will both know the truth of what is going on and you can both work towards resolving it. 

“This is how it is for me …..”

Just Tell The Truth (WT434)

Just Tell The Truth (WT434)

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WT 434 Just tell the truth

I was speaking with Nancy at the end of a conference; she shared with me a coaching moment she gave to one of her junior team members. We’ll call him Bob. 

In the real estate industry, Bob had made a mistake that was going to cost a property owner a few hundred dollars. 

Seeking guidance from Nancy, he asked, “What will I tell the owner?”

“Just tell the truth”, replied Nancy.

“What? What do you mean tell the truth?” he asked. “I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” asked Nancy.

“Well, I made a mistake, I can’t admit that.”

Nancy was shocked. This was way out of alignment with her values.

“Bob, we can spend the next 20 minutes making up a story that both of us will have trouble remembering or you can just tell the truth. It’s far easier and more productive to be honest.”

“Just tell the truth?” he repeated.

“Yes and the longer you stand here talking about it, the harder it’s going to be. Just go and make the call and let me know how it goes.”

Bob returned to Nancy’s office about 20 minutes later.

“How did you go?” she asked.

“The owner was quite understanding and agreed to my recommendation and thanked me for being honest.”

“That’s great. Remember, Bob, it’s so much easier if you just tell the truth.”

I’m curious. What advice would you have given Bob? 

What would your team members have done?

This little case study could be a great conversation starter to generate discussion amongst your team.

But I’m Here Now (WT433)

But I’m Here Now (WT433)

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WT 433 But i'm here now

Doug was looking for work. 

He noticed a sandwich board in front of a labour hire business. It listed some positions that could use his skills and experience.

He went inside.

He spoke to a young girl who was pleasant enough.

“I’m interested to know more about the positions and apply please”, he said.

“Have you got a resume?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“Just go online and you can apply there”, she answered.

“But, I’m here now”, he replied.

“Yes, but we process all the applications online. You have to apply online.”

Doug was dumbfounded.

“Why would they go to the trouble of advertising positions on a sandwich board, in front of their office?” he thought to himself.

He didn’t know what to say.

He tried again to tell her about his experience and what he was looking for, to which she replied, “Oh, we have those positions available, too. Just go online and you’ll find them and submit your application.”

And with that, Doug was dismissed.

Doug shared his story with Ross, who shared it with me, and I’m sharing it with you.

As I write this, I am shaking my head.

What happened to people communicating?

What happened to being interested in helping people?

I couldn’t help but think about the employer who had engaged the labour hire company to find people. One of the jobs supposedly had an immediate start.

How much longer will the process now take, assuming that Doug did actually go home and submit his application online? Or maybe he just decided to forget about it. After all, if he did get the position, how well would he be treated?

I wonder. Is it me? Am I just getting old and grumpy or is there something wrong with this process?

Let me know what you think and as always, I encourage you to look at your business and front of house operations. How are your customers and prospective customers being treated?

Is it time you did a secret audit to find out?

The Most Influential Word (WT431)

The Most Influential Word (WT431)

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WT 431 The most influential word

Would you like to know one of the most influential words in the English language?

I was shocked to learn this recently, yet it makes perfect sense. 

You might be surprised to learn the word is “Because”.

According to Robert Cialdini, in his classic book “Influence”, “A well-known principle of human behavior says that when we ask someone to do us a favor we will be more successful if we provide a reason. People simply like to have reasons for what they do.” 

In his book, Cialdini refers to a university study that tested people’s willingness to let others push in front of them in a line to photocopy. The results were astounding: 

  1. In the first experiment, about 60% of people agreed to let the person in. The stated request was “Excuse me, I have 5 pages. May I use the Xerox machine?”
  1. In the second experiment, the request was slightly changed to, “I have 5 pages. May I use the Xerox machine, because I am in a rush?”  Ninety four percent agreed to let the requestor go in front.
  1. In the third experiment, 93% allowed the requestor to push in, with the request “Excuse me, I have 5 pages. May I use the Xerox machine because I have to make copies?” 

The third reason was hardly a reason, yet it appears that we are more likely to agree when someone gives us a reason for their request.  

Something for you to think about. 

Similarly, we like to hear reasons when someone needs to break a commitment or change plans. I don’t know about you but I am much more accepting of someone rescheduling an appointment if they give me a reason, as opposed to simply communicating, “I can’t make it” or “I need to reschedule”.

Blogger, Gregory Ciotti, suggests that we flag features and product traits to create an incentive for customers to act, but to remember to use “because” when pointing out the compelling reasons. In other words, be sure to mention the benefits and the benefit of the benefit.

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