This Is How It Is For Me (WT441)

This Is How It Is For Me (WT441)

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WT 441 This is how it is for me

It’s so interesting how each week seems to have its own theme. 

Generally, I find that more than one person appears to be dealing with the same issue, albeit in slightly different ways. 

This week’s theme relates to expressing how we feel. “This is how it is for me …” 

On a number of occasions this week I’ve listened as clients, colleagues and friends have expressed their frustration at situations in their lives and yet they have avoided having the one conversation they need to have. 

The following example was expressed by no less than five people this week, so I am not sharing one person’s dilemma, rather a sample. See if you can relate. 

Employees not wanting to do certain tasks that are in their job description, instead preferring to do the tasks they want to do. Employees not seeing the bigger picture and the ground work that needs to be done and the teamwork that needs to happen before the rewards can be shared. The boss feeling frightened that if they mention anything, the employee will leave. (Feeling like you are being held to ransom.) 

Here’s the thing; when asked if they had shared how they were feeling about the employees’ behaviour, the answer was “No”. 

Nothing can change if we are not willing to express how it is for us. 

I don’t know the statistics but in comparison to the general population, there are very few psychics. I’m being sarcastic. Your employees cannot read your mind. If you don’t tell them, they don’t know. 

They may be able to guess something is wrong, especially when you are barking orders at them or walking off in a huff. They will experience the energy, and yet most will not understand what’s causing your reaction. 

If you are not having the conversation, you are not being honest with yourself or your employees or colleagues or family members. 

A simple way to start is to ask for some time to discuss the situation and introduce the topic by saying, “I’d like to share how it is for me”.  Most people are open to listening to what is going on. 

From there, be open to how things can be resolved, rather than wanting to direct the conversation to the outcome you’ve already decided.  

Your mission this week is to be honest with yourself. Are you avoiding expressing how you are really feeling? If so, I encourage you to initiate the conversation. Even if it brings out defence from the other person (and it probably will), at least you will both know the truth of what is going on and you can both work towards resolving it. 

“This is how it is for me …..”

Just Tell The Truth (WT434)

Just Tell The Truth (WT434)

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WT 434 Just tell the truth

I was speaking with Nancy at the end of a conference; she shared with me a coaching moment she gave to one of her junior team members. We’ll call him Bob. 

In the real estate industry, Bob had made a mistake that was going to cost a property owner a few hundred dollars. 

Seeking guidance from Nancy, he asked, “What will I tell the owner?”

“Just tell the truth”, replied Nancy.

“What? What do you mean tell the truth?” he asked. “I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” asked Nancy.

“Well, I made a mistake, I can’t admit that.”

Nancy was shocked. This was way out of alignment with her values.

“Bob, we can spend the next 20 minutes making up a story that both of us will have trouble remembering or you can just tell the truth. It’s far easier and more productive to be honest.”

“Just tell the truth?” he repeated.

“Yes and the longer you stand here talking about it, the harder it’s going to be. Just go and make the call and let me know how it goes.”

Bob returned to Nancy’s office about 20 minutes later.

“How did you go?” she asked.

“The owner was quite understanding and agreed to my recommendation and thanked me for being honest.”

“That’s great. Remember, Bob, it’s so much easier if you just tell the truth.”

I’m curious. What advice would you have given Bob? 

What would your team members have done?

This little case study could be a great conversation starter to generate discussion amongst your team.

But I’m Here Now (WT433)

But I’m Here Now (WT433)

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WT 433 But i'm here now

Doug was looking for work. 

He noticed a sandwich board in front of a labour hire business. It listed some positions that could use his skills and experience.

He went inside.

He spoke to a young girl who was pleasant enough.

“I’m interested to know more about the positions and apply please”, he said.

“Have you got a resume?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“Just go online and you can apply there”, she answered.

“But, I’m here now”, he replied.

“Yes, but we process all the applications online. You have to apply online.”

Doug was dumbfounded.

“Why would they go to the trouble of advertising positions on a sandwich board, in front of their office?” he thought to himself.

He didn’t know what to say.

He tried again to tell her about his experience and what he was looking for, to which she replied, “Oh, we have those positions available, too. Just go online and you’ll find them and submit your application.”

And with that, Doug was dismissed.

Doug shared his story with Ross, who shared it with me, and I’m sharing it with you.

As I write this, I am shaking my head.

What happened to people communicating?

What happened to being interested in helping people?

I couldn’t help but think about the employer who had engaged the labour hire company to find people. One of the jobs supposedly had an immediate start.

How much longer will the process now take, assuming that Doug did actually go home and submit his application online? Or maybe he just decided to forget about it. After all, if he did get the position, how well would he be treated?

I wonder. Is it me? Am I just getting old and grumpy or is there something wrong with this process?

Let me know what you think and as always, I encourage you to look at your business and front of house operations. How are your customers and prospective customers being treated?

Is it time you did a secret audit to find out?

The Most Influential Word (WT431)

The Most Influential Word (WT431)

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WT 431 The most influential word

Would you like to know one of the most influential words in the English language?

I was shocked to learn this recently, yet it makes perfect sense. 

You might be surprised to learn the word is “Because”.

According to Robert Cialdini, in his classic book “Influence”, “A well-known principle of human behavior says that when we ask someone to do us a favor we will be more successful if we provide a reason. People simply like to have reasons for what they do.” 

In his book, Cialdini refers to a university study that tested people’s willingness to let others push in front of them in a line to photocopy. The results were astounding: 

  1. In the first experiment, about 60% of people agreed to let the person in. The stated request was “Excuse me, I have 5 pages. May I use the Xerox machine?”
  1. In the second experiment, the request was slightly changed to, “I have 5 pages. May I use the Xerox machine, because I am in a rush?”  Ninety four percent agreed to let the requestor go in front.
  1. In the third experiment, 93% allowed the requestor to push in, with the request “Excuse me, I have 5 pages. May I use the Xerox machine because I have to make copies?” 

The third reason was hardly a reason, yet it appears that we are more likely to agree when someone gives us a reason for their request.  

Something for you to think about. 

Similarly, we like to hear reasons when someone needs to break a commitment or change plans. I don’t know about you but I am much more accepting of someone rescheduling an appointment if they give me a reason, as opposed to simply communicating, “I can’t make it” or “I need to reschedule”.

Blogger, Gregory Ciotti, suggests that we flag features and product traits to create an incentive for customers to act, but to remember to use “because” when pointing out the compelling reasons. In other words, be sure to mention the benefits and the benefit of the benefit.

You Have to Be Organised (WT429)

You Have to Be Organised (WT429)

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WT 429 You have to be organised

One of the analogies I use when training is that of a sailing boat. Unless you are Jessica Watson and sailing around the world by yourself, you need a crew or team to help you get where you are going.

Recently, I listened to an interview between Real Estate Director, Robert Sheahan and Lee Woodward of Real Estate Academy, where Robert shared his experience of growing a team.

“You have to be organised for them to be able to help you”, he said.

It reminded me of so many instances when I have been challenged to be organised in order for people to help me as well as those of my clients and their teams.

I recalled one such executive assistant who was in tears as she shared about the number of times her boss changed his mind and therefore the goal posts. It undermined her ability to succeed in the role and reduced her self-esteem and confidence.

This isn’t helpful for those who want to support us.

We need to remember that they need time to do their work and that whilst many of us fly by the seat of our pants, our support team need the time and resources to organise themselves to help us.

Recently, I added a virtual team to my organisation to implement campaigns for my customer relationship management (CRM) software program which also doubles as a marketing platform.

I pay a monthly fee and they complete tasks during the month according to my priorities.

They have been extremely efficient with their implementation and sadly I confess it is me who is holding up the projects with simple things like subscribing to plugins, or giving them the information they need to create campaigns.

This week’s topic is a really important topic. How often do we hear others complaining about the lack of support they receive and yet when you drill down on it, it’s not a lack of support, rather a lack of organisation, instruction and clear communication; all in a timely manner.

Here are a couple of tips to help you get organised:

  1. Have a plan for what you want to have done by when
  1. Make a list of all the tasks required to be completed by whom
  1. Allocate ENOUGH time for all parties to complete their tasks
  1. Schedule regular progress updates either in person, online or using a project management program such as Asana.
  1. Stick to the plan.

Sticking to the plan is the single most important thing you can do to alleviate stress and anxiety for your team.

You know you can’t do it alone. Please help your team to support you by getting yourself organised or at least, allowing them to organise you.

How Much Courage Does it Take? (WT428)

How Much Courage Does it Take? (WT428)

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WT 428 How much courage does it take?

You know from the past few weeks that Ross and I have been travelling throughout NSW on a roadshow with the Association of Consulting Surveyors.

We had some time before travelling to the next town so we decided to explore. 

I just love being able to be spontaneous. We passed a sign on the road that read, “Bonegilla Migrant Experience”. Having worked with the late Dagnija (pronounced Dugnea) McGrath, Co-Founder of Kip McGrath Education Centres, who as a child came to Australia from Latvia and found herself in a migrant camp, I was curious to see for myself. 

Wow! The courage the migrants must have had to take on the journey to another country they knew nothing about with no more than one suitcase for their worldly belongings, just blows my mind.

It’s true, fear also played a major role, motivating them to leave their war torn countries, but it took so much courage to survive and thrive.

Families lived in two rooms in the old army barracks at Bonegilla (on the NSW and Victorian border). The rooms were not clad until the 1950’s and there was no heating or air-conditioning. 

Each morning residents had to queue to get into the ablution block. Hot water often ran out. The food was different to what they were used to and the only sense of control the women had was doing the family washing. Their meals were prepared for them and as Mrs McGrath once told me, because of her experience she could not line up for food in a cafeteria, etc. 

As we walked around the camp and talked with Alice, our very passionate and knowledgeable guide, I was reminded of what it takes to succeed in business and in life.

Alice told us that the new arrivals were terrified when they arrived by boat and were placed on a train (the red rattler) thinking they were going off to their death as happened to so many family members in Europe, only to find themselves at the end of the train journey in the middle of a large paddock in what seemed like the middle of nowhere. 

They were known as “Reffos”, (slang for refugees) and often experienced discrimination because of their situation and yet they survived and many thrived, including Karl Kruszelnicki AM, often referred to as “Dr Karl”, an Australian science communicator and populariser, who is known as an author and science commentator on Australian radio and television. Dr Karl came to Australia as a refugee and lived in Bonegilla for 3 months. During an interview with Anh Do, he recalled how, as a “reffo”, he had to walk to school in the rain whilst the other local kids would be picked up and driven.

So what does that have to do with you and business and life?

Firstly, acknowledge yourself for the courage you have shown to get to where you are now. Wherever you are in life or business, you have survived to this point. At times you would have experienced fear and would have dug deep to find your courage to continue.

Be inspired by the fact that we can overcome obstacles and that if you’re “doing it tough at the moment”, that there is hope. This too will pass.

Just as the migrants were courageous and brave, so too are you.

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