Put Your Hand Up (WT591)

Put Your Hand Up (WT591)

Blog

WT 591 Put your hand up

This week’s theme is about “Independence”.

Years ago one of my bosses was telling me a story about his grandchildren.

He had three grandchildren – twins and an elder sister.

“The eldest is so independent. She will not accept help of any kind”, he said.

“When I offer her help (and she’s only 4 years old), she replies “My Can Do It”, he continued.

“The twins are completely different. Not only do they accept my help, they will often ask for it, “Grandpa, I need you to help me”, he added. (They were 3 years old at the time.)

I find this fascinating that right from the get-go, we are different in how we respond to accepting help.

This week I’ve been working with lots of clients who are similar to the elder sister.

“My can do it.”

Yes you can. And it’s ok to ask for and accept help. Afterall, aren’t the independent ones, the ones to be the first to offer help.

Imagine if we all said, “My can do it”. None of us would have the gift of being able to help.

Which of the grandkids are you most like?

If you’re like the eldest, could you please reframe your mindset and tone down your independence by asking for and accepting help?

We’re all in this life together.

It’s ok to put your hand up.

If you don’t put your hand up, consider yourself stingy.

What? Stingy?

Yes, stingy. Stingy because you are depriving others of the joy of helping or put another way, what if I said to you, “You can’t help anyone else until you accept help from another”. Would that encourage you to put your hand up.

This week, I encourage you to be open and honest with those who care about you. Putting your hand up and asking for or accepting help takes courage.

Be courageous and put your hand up.


P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

They Don’t Know if You Don’t Tell Them (WT590)

They Don’t Know if You Don’t Tell Them (WT590)

Blog

WT 590 They don't know if you don't tell them

This morning I finished re-fuelling the motorhome and was waiting for Ross to finish cleaning the windows before paying.

I noticed two flags that read “Car Wash”.

I looked around to see where the car wash was and wondered if it would be high enough for us to drive through.

“Hey Ross, can you please ask about the car wash when you go and pay?” I asked.

After what seemed like ages, Ross came back and said he and the attendant went and measured the height and width and we’d be able to use the machine.

“Fantastic.”

As we drove off I reminded Ross about our marketing training with Emerson Brantley many years ago. Emmerson taught us “they don’t know if you don’t tell them”.

If the flags weren’t out I wouldn’t have known we could get Contessa washed.

So, I have to ask, “What’s it like in your business?” “Are you letting people know what you have to offer and how you can help?”

As we’ve been travelling around Kangaroo Island this past week, I’ve noticed heaps of Welcome and Open signs and lots and lots of flags.

It’s important to let people know you’re open for business and what you can do.

Equally, it’s important for us as individuals to let people know what we can do and how we can help. That’s not bragging. That’s advertising.

Remember, they don’t know if you don’t tell them.

Do you want to be overlooked because someone else spoke up and you didn’t?

And one more tip. It includes letting people know about the positions you aspire to have, training you want to do and responsibilities you want to take on.

If you’re up for it, do a little audit for yourself (as an individual) and for your business.  What areas can you improve and what can you do to make sure management and your customers know what you have to offer.

Remember, they don’t know if you don’t tell them.


P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

Put It In An Envelope (WT589)

Put It In An Envelope (WT589)

Blog

WT 589 Put it in an envelope

It was 4:30pm and we were on our way to the next location.

We were about 45 minutes away.

We had planned to pick up a script from the local doctors on our way.

I thought they closed at 5:00pm but thought I’d ring and see if I might be able to collect it.

“Could I please check what time you finish please?” I asked.

“5:00pm”, said the receptionist.

“I have to pick up a script and we’ve been travelling and I don’t think I’ll get there by 5:00pm”, I shared.

“You can pick it up tomorrow”, she said.

Oh well. It was worth an ask. I was no worse off.

That night we decided to get up early the next day and head to our next location, en-route to Kangaroo Island via ferry.

“I won’t be able to pick up the script”, I said to Ross.

“Oh well, it’s not urgent. It can wait for another week or so”, I thought to myself.

As I started to pack up, the thought struck me that I could have asked the receptionist to put it in an envelope and leave it at the pharmacy next door.

The pharmacy and surgery were joined via a connecting door internally.

“You know there’s always a solution to a problem, if you’re looking for one”, I said to Ross.

“I could have asked them last night.”

Our brains are goal achieving machines and they must find you an answer.

But and the but is, you need to be in the right state of being to be open to creative solutions.

Clearly, I was not in that state when I spoke to the receptionist.

I’ve mentioned it before that our goal each day is to be in, what David Bayer calls “The Powerful State” every day, for as long as we can.

It’s from this state of being, that our creativity and problem solving ability flows. It’s from this state of being that magic happens. It’s from this state of being that we come up with different thoughts and ideas.

I really wished I had been in this state the night before and asked the receptionist if she could put it in an envelope. If so, it would have saved me a whole lot of time and effort.

What state are you in right now?

If you’re in the state of anxiety, anger, frustration or sadness, you’re in the Primal State. This is not a good state to be. It’s not helpful for solving problems.

Do what you can to get back into the Powerful State. Simply becoming aware of the fact that you’re in Primal can help change it.

If that doesn’t do the trick, go and do something that makes you feel happy or that you enjoy. 

Remember, everything you want comes from the Powerful State.


P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

Sorry We’re Full (WT588)

Sorry We’re Full (WT588)

Blog

WT 588 Sorry we're full

It’s school holidays and a long weekend and we didn’t realise until it was too late to book in to another location.

Ross kept ringing the caravan parks.

“Do you have any vacancy for the weekend ?” he asked.

“Hahahahahaha”, laughed the park managers, “Sorry, we’re full. We’ve been booked out for weeks.”

“No problems. I just thought I’d ask. You never know. With the weather turning cold and raining there might have been a cancellation. It doesn’t hurt to ask.” replied Ross.

Ross wasn’t attached to the outcome.

He thought it was a long shot, but asked anyway.

Thirty minutes later the phone rang.

It was a park manager, the one who laughed the loudest.

“Are you still looking for a site for the weekend?”

“Yes.”

“We’ve just had a cancellation.”

“Fantastic.”

“What’s your phone number?” asked the manager.

“Hahahahahaha”, laughed Ross. “The one you just rang.”

Apart from knowing we have a site for the weekend and it is in the Clare region in South Australia with all the fabulous vineyards to visit, what’s my point?

Actually, there are a few:

  1. Always ask for what you want
  2. Take action towards what you want
  3. Don’t be attached to the outcome
  4. Be determined to get what you want
  5. Be persistent

Your turn. When you want something, what do you do?

Do you give up when you’re told “No”?

Do you have a tanty?

Or do you generally get what you want because you expect it and follow the above points?

“Sorry we’re full” can change very quickly.

Have a wonderful weekend.


P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

Get a Mirror (WT587)

Get a Mirror (WT587)

Blog

WT 587 Get a mirror

I fell off my pushbike today.

I was following Ross and he navigated a tricky pedestrian crossing at the lights.

A car stopped for him and the driver waved him on.

I was happy to stop and wait, however the driver waved me on too.

I felt pressured to keep going, although I’m not as proficient at riding as Ross.

Of course I fell over.

Right in the middle of the road.

Right in front of the driver.

Right in front of all the other cars that were stopped at the lights.

I was embarrassed.

I was hurt and Ross was nowhere to be seen.

The young driver called out to see if I was ok.

I had somehow landed on my backside with both legs in the air and I managed to roll over and found myself laying there with hands, palms facing down on the road, for what seemed like minutes before I gathered myself and untwisted the bike and walked to the other side of the road.

Where was Ross?

All I wanted to do was cry and melt into his arms.

He had ridden up the road and was waiting; sitting on a seat outside our destination.

Now I was mad.

Instead of melting into his arms, I wanted to punch him.

“Get a mirror”, I screamed

“Get a mirror on that damn bike so you can see what’s happening behind you.”

Of course, this outburst came because of an earlier frustration I had had with him not hearing me call out when we were riding in Darwin.

And to my point, no matter what we are doing, we need to be present and remain alert and of course, not pressure ourselves when we’re in situations that are uncomfortable.

What will you do?

Will you get a mirror?


P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

Yes I Did and I’m Sorry (WT586)

Yes I Did and I’m Sorry (WT586)

Blog

WT 586 Yes I Did and I'm Sorry

Our theme this week is taking responsibility.

It always amazes me how themes arise.

I often hear stories from different people around the same topic.

Here’s a couple of examples:

  1. A worker isn’t performing. The worker fails to produce an expected outcome on time. The supervisor calls a meeting. The worker offers excuses as to why it wasn’t his fault. The supervisor asks, “What’s your 50% in this?” The worker continues blaming circumstances and others. The worker doesn’t seem to understand, that we are all co-creators and that if it’s happening and you’re involved, then you too are responsible.
  2. Watching the TV show, SAS Australia, celebrities are tasked with completing 30 rounds of a number of activities. The staff are not physically watching, however the celebrities do not know that they are being filmed. One of the celebrities only completes 15 rounds instead of 30 for one activity. The Leader asks for anyone who didn’t complete all rounds to step forward. A couple of people step forward. They may have completed 27, 28 or 29 rounds. They can step back. The “cheat” did not own up. The “cheat” did not take responsibility for his actions and made excuses. His actions did not help to create good trusting relationships with the other “team members”.
  3. Elizabeth vents loudly to Cassandra. Elizabeth complains about Margaret not pulling her weight. Cassandra encourages her to confront Margaret. “Oh no, I couldn’t do that. I don’t want to hurt her feelings. I was rather hoping you could have a word to her for me”, replies Elizabeth.

In all three situations, no-one is taking responsibility for their actions. No-one is taking ownership of what needs to be done.

Years ago some friends of ours shared a story about their three sons. They were laughing as they told us about their middle son, we’ll call him Mark. Mark was always up to no good. He would borrow things from his brothers without asking. He crashed his bike. He broke things, however, unlike his brothers, when asked if he was responsible or whether it was he who had done “the thing”, he always answered, “Yes, I did and I’m sorry”. 

“How can you get angry at that?” our friends asked. “At least he is taking responsibility and apologising, unlike his brothers who would look to blame or give excuses.” As it turned out, his brothers got into more trouble for blaming and lying to get out of trouble than Mark did for actually doing the wrong thing.

When it comes to working with people and interacting with your family and friends, who would you rather hang out with; someone who gets into BED with Blame, Excuses and Denial or someone who takes responsibility and says, “Yes I did and I’m sorry?”


P.S. Invite your friends to get the Weekly Thoughts delivered directly to their inbox. Go to https://shirleydalton.com/weekly-thoughts.

Pin It on Pinterest