You Have to See the Dirt (WT436)

You Have to See the Dirt (WT436)

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by Shirley Dalton | 2 Nov, 2018 | Blog, Mindset

WT 436 You have to see the Dirt

This week, I was watching an interview between Louise Hay, Founder of Hay House and absolute guru in the self-help and healing sector and Nick Ortner, Founder of The Tapping Solution.

“Tapping” is used to refer to Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT for short. It’s an ancient healing modality that uses the meridians of the body in conjunction with the amygdala in our brain. The amygdala is the part of the brain associated with fight, flight and freeze. 

The idea of tapping on the meridians with your fingertips whilst acknowledging what’s not working has been scientifically proven to help people release past unconscious memories and help them to move forward. 

Nick asked Louise what she thought about people who believed you shouldn’t acknowledge the negative things in your life when tapping.

Louise responded, “You have to see the dirt before you can clean it. If you want to clean an oven, you have to see how dirty it is.” 

This resonated with me because much of the recent self-help literature focuses on the Law of Attraction and only thinking good thoughts. 

Whilst I agree with thinking and speaking about the story we want to create, Louise’s comment also rang true for me, especially when I think of the work I do coaching clients and facilitating my Leading Yourself and Leading Others program.

We have to become self-aware before we can choose to change anything. Sometimes this awareness comes in the form of feedback from others. 

My message to you this week is to encourage you to be open to looking at the dirt in your life. Look at what’s not working and accept it. Take a really good look so you know and understand the extent of the job you have before you and then, if you choose, clean it up.

See It When You Believe It (WT435)

See It When You Believe It (WT435)

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by Shirley Dalton | 26 Oct, 2018 | Blog, Mindset

WT 435 See it when you believe it

Often when I am coaching with clients and sharing something I’ve learned or asking them a question to help them reflect on what’s going on for them, a little voice will speak to me inside my head.

It asks me, “Are you listening to this?”

They say (whomever “they” are), “We teach what we need to learn”.

If that’s true, I need to learn a heck of a lot.

Today’s thought is no exception.

I am the one who needs to hear this message the most.

I remember years ago, Wayne Dyer wrote a book called, “You’ll See it When You Believe It”. At the time it was a ground breaking book.

Most people wanted to correct the title, thinking it was a typo.

Turns out Dyer was correct. He was referring to manifestation; The Law of Attraction and any other words you want to use to describe our ability to create what we desire.

Now that sounds easy and this is what I’ve been struggling with for the past few months and why I need to write this thought for myself.

I’ve had difficulty believing that I can create what I want. I seem to have lost my way; lost my faith and I know that having faith is the most important thing I need. I often encourage my clients by reminding them, “It’s not our job to know the how, only to know the what and why”.

Lately I’ve been doubting. I’ve been wanting to control things.

I haven’t been able to see “how” things are going to work out the way I want them to.

I’ve been relapsing into my old pattern of wanting to control everything.

Today’s thought is a wake-up call and reminder; I’ll see it when I believe it.

So I made myself a list of just some of the techniques I know and use to restore my faith and get me back on track to believing in myself and the power of “The Great Something” as Dr Joe Vitale refers to God, the Universe, etc.

The point for today is this, “You’ll see it when you believe it”, so do what you can to believe it.

Here’s my list. Contact me if you’d like to know more about any or all of the below:

  1. Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique)
  1. Ho’oponopono
  1. Decision Matrix
  1. Visualisation
  1. Affirmations
  1. Afformations
  1. Meditation
  1. The One Command

Just quickly, I’ll share The One Command by Asara Lovejoy. Asara found herself in a similar situation, not believing and not manifesting, so she asked for guidance from spirit and received “The One Command”. In a nutshell (and there are a few steps to getting to this point), you simply take the pressure off from having to know the “How”, by commanding and visualising, “I don’t know how… (fill in the blank with what you want). All I know is… (I am now or I have now) and I am fulfilled.”

I love this strategy because it releases the pressure of having to know the “How” and restores faith in The Great Something.

Thanks for listening. I needed this little pep talk.

Just Tell The Truth (WT434)

Just Tell The Truth (WT434)

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by Shirley Dalton | 19 Oct, 2018 | Blog, Business

WT 434 Just tell the truth

I was speaking with Nancy at the end of a conference; she shared with me a coaching moment she gave to one of her junior team members. We’ll call him Bob. 

In the real estate industry, Bob had made a mistake that was going to cost a property owner a few hundred dollars. 

Seeking guidance from Nancy, he asked, “What will I tell the owner?”

“Just tell the truth”, replied Nancy.

“What? What do you mean tell the truth?” he asked. “I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” asked Nancy.

“Well, I made a mistake, I can’t admit that.”

Nancy was shocked. This was way out of alignment with her values.

“Bob, we can spend the next 20 minutes making up a story that both of us will have trouble remembering or you can just tell the truth. It’s far easier and more productive to be honest.”

“Just tell the truth?” he repeated.

“Yes and the longer you stand here talking about it, the harder it’s going to be. Just go and make the call and let me know how it goes.”

Bob returned to Nancy’s office about 20 minutes later.

“How did you go?” she asked.

“The owner was quite understanding and agreed to my recommendation and thanked me for being honest.”

“That’s great. Remember, Bob, it’s so much easier if you just tell the truth.”

I’m curious. What advice would you have given Bob? 

What would your team members have done?

This little case study could be a great conversation starter to generate discussion amongst your team.

But I’m Here Now (WT433)

But I’m Here Now (WT433)

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by Shirley Dalton | 12 Oct, 2018 | Blog, Business

WT 433 But i'm here now

Doug was looking for work. 

He noticed a sandwich board in front of a labour hire business. It listed some positions that could use his skills and experience.

He went inside.

He spoke to a young girl who was pleasant enough.

“I’m interested to know more about the positions and apply please”, he said.

“Have you got a resume?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“Just go online and you can apply there”, she answered.

“But, I’m here now”, he replied.

“Yes, but we process all the applications online. You have to apply online.”

Doug was dumbfounded.

“Why would they go to the trouble of advertising positions on a sandwich board, in front of their office?” he thought to himself.

He didn’t know what to say.

He tried again to tell her about his experience and what he was looking for, to which she replied, “Oh, we have those positions available, too. Just go online and you’ll find them and submit your application.”

And with that, Doug was dismissed.

Doug shared his story with Ross, who shared it with me, and I’m sharing it with you.

As I write this, I am shaking my head.

What happened to people communicating?

What happened to being interested in helping people?

I couldn’t help but think about the employer who had engaged the labour hire company to find people. One of the jobs supposedly had an immediate start.

How much longer will the process now take, assuming that Doug did actually go home and submit his application online? Or maybe he just decided to forget about it. After all, if he did get the position, how well would he be treated?

I wonder. Is it me? Am I just getting old and grumpy or is there something wrong with this process?

Let me know what you think and as always, I encourage you to look at your business and front of house operations. How are your customers and prospective customers being treated?

Is it time you did a secret audit to find out?

Make Yourself a Micro-Commitment (WT432)

Make Yourself a Micro-Commitment (WT432)

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by Shirley Dalton | 5 Oct, 2018 | Blog, Mindset

WT 432 Make yourself a Micro-commitment

This week I am celebrating. 

I passed my exam (100% and bragging) and am now an official graduate of the ASK Method Masterclass which is all about asking your market the RIGHT questions to figure out exactly WHAT they want to buy and exactly HOW to sell it to them in order to serve them and help them solve their problems. 

But that’s not the topic for this week.  

I wanted to share one of the concepts I learned, which helped me to get the work done so I could pass. 

It’s called a “micro-commitment”: 

  • A small incremental step to move you (or others) toward taking a specific action without scaring yourself (or them) off in the process 
  • Based on neuroscientific evidence that any sort of change, good or bad, is perceived as a threat by the brain which kicks off the fight, flight or freeze response. To avoid triggering that response you want to ask yourself “What is the next possible step I can ask myself or someone else to take, that is so small, it is literally impossible to fail?” 

For example, one small micro-commitment I made was to turn on the computer and open the lesson.  That’s not something I could fail and it was only a tiny commitment. Of course, once I had turned on the computer and opened the lesson, I completed it. 

By making micro-commitments we can avoid feeling overwhelmed which can lead us to procrastinate (freeze). 

Every time you move into action you move closer to your goal, so pick an action that you can start on today, no matter how small. Remember you can use the power of micro-commitments to hack your own progress  

What is something you could do right now, to take action towards a goal you have, that you could not fail? 

Whatever it is, make yourself a micro-commitment now. 

Keep up your momentum. 

Remember “Done is Better than Perfect”.  (It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be done.)

The Most Influential Word (WT431)

The Most Influential Word (WT431)

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by Shirley Dalton | 28 Sep, 2018 | Blog, Business

WT 431 The most influential word

Would you like to know one of the most influential words in the English language?

I was shocked to learn this recently, yet it makes perfect sense. 

You might be surprised to learn the word is “Because”.

According to Robert Cialdini, in his classic book “Influence”, “A well-known principle of human behavior says that when we ask someone to do us a favor we will be more successful if we provide a reason. People simply like to have reasons for what they do.” 

In his book, Cialdini refers to a university study that tested people’s willingness to let others push in front of them in a line to photocopy. The results were astounding: 

  1. In the first experiment, about 60% of people agreed to let the person in. The stated request was “Excuse me, I have 5 pages. May I use the Xerox machine?”
  1. In the second experiment, the request was slightly changed to, “I have 5 pages. May I use the Xerox machine, because I am in a rush?”  Ninety four percent agreed to let the requestor go in front.
  1. In the third experiment, 93% allowed the requestor to push in, with the request “Excuse me, I have 5 pages. May I use the Xerox machine because I have to make copies?” 

The third reason was hardly a reason, yet it appears that we are more likely to agree when someone gives us a reason for their request.  

Something for you to think about. 

Similarly, we like to hear reasons when someone needs to break a commitment or change plans. I don’t know about you but I am much more accepting of someone rescheduling an appointment if they give me a reason, as opposed to simply communicating, “I can’t make it” or “I need to reschedule”.

Blogger, Gregory Ciotti, suggests that we flag features and product traits to create an incentive for customers to act, but to remember to use “because” when pointing out the compelling reasons. In other words, be sure to mention the benefits and the benefit of the benefit.

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