This week we exchanged contracts on a house.
We’d been looking for a while and were initially looking for something to renovate as well as develop in a few years.
We hadn’t found anything that met our initial criteria, so we decided to change the criteria.
Within a few weeks, we found a number of properties which met the new criteria.
One property was a fully renovated property although the rooms were small.
Another property had an extra bedroom and bathroom and a better outlook, however it needed a complete renovation.
We were serious about purchasing the first property which was going to auction. Whilst the rooms were small we convinced ourselves it suited us. After all it was fully renovated and there was nothing to do but move in.
When we found the second property, we started to convince ourselves that the first property wasn’t suitable. “The rooms are small. The renovations cover up a lot things and we don’t know what’s under the renovations. The building inspection said there was rising damp in the rooms downstairs and on and on we went.”
Similarly with the second property, we convinced ourselves in favour of the renovations. “We can do what we want with the property. We have a clean slate to work with. The outlook is amazing, we can see the water. It’s on the high side of the street which is what we want.”
Or we could convince ourselves not to buy it. “The driveway is really steep. There’s a lot of work to do and it’s going to cost a lot of money. Trades are hard to get and building prices have gone up so much.”
Here’s my point – You can convince yourself of anything. We look for the evidence to support what we are thinking.
Michael Singer describes this beautifully in his book, “The Untethered Soul”. He demonstrates how we argue with ourselves (not others) and we convince ourselves for and against decisions we need to make, judgements about people, you name it. We convince ourselves.
Here’s your activity for this week. Take notice of how often you argue with yourself. Take notice of the debates you have when making a decision or passing judgement on a colleague, customer or family member.
In reality nothing external is changing. It’s all in our heads. We waste precious time and energy arguing with ourselves and convincing ourselves only to change our minds again and again.
Let me know what you find. See if you can convince me too.
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