Keep Your Head Clean (WT490)

Keep Your Head Clean (WT490)

Blog

by Shirley Dalton | 15 Nov, 2019 | Blog, Mindset

WT490 Keep Your Head Clean

I’m not talking about having a shower or washing your face when I say, “Keep Your Head Clean” but of course, knowing me, you know that.

Here’s an example to explain what I mean: Two people go for a promotion at work. Neither of them succeed. Max gets depressed and angry and full of negative self talk such as “I don’t know what I have to do to get ahead in this company. Why does this always happen to me? How come I never seem to get the promotion?” On the other hand, Wendy feels disappointed, however quickly shrugs it off and asks her supervisor, “What can I do to be promoted? What do you need to see in order for me to be recognised and promoted?”

Which of the two do you think has the best chance of being promoted in the future, Max or Wendy?

I trust you answered Wendy. Why?

It’s because Wendy kept her head clean. She stayed open to possibility and she asked empowering questions. 

Our brain is like a Google search engine. Its job is to find the answer to your questions, so it’s imperative that you ask empowering questions.

If you look at the questions Max asked, “Why does this always happen to me? How come I never seem to get a promotion?” It’s easy to see how his brain will come up with all sorts of reasons why it’s most likely not his fault; the supervisor doesn’t know what she’s doing, this company is hopeless, you have to suck up to the boss to get ahead; you can see where this line of thought will end up.

When you understand how the brain works and you understand that it is just another organ in the body, you can put it to work to find you the answers you need, to help you get what you want BUT you have to keep your head clean. You have to ask empowering questions. You have to notice when your thinking is off and correct it as soon as you notice it.

That is how you keep your head clean and create the life you want.

Strategy Vs Belief (WT487)

Strategy Vs Belief (WT487)

Blog

by Shirley Dalton | 25 Oct, 2019 | Blog, Mindset

WT487 Strategy vs Beliefs

Jordan was recounting a story where he had met with his mentor. 

His mentor had given him some advice about how to resolve a situation. 

As I listened to Jordan I couldn’t help but wonder about the success of the suggested strategy. 

You see, I knew Jordan quite well. 

I knew that he knew that the mentor’s advice was correct and that he should take the action as suggested. 

I also knew that Jordan had a few limiting beliefs that were in direct opposition to the advice. 

Here’s an example: Let’s say you want to increase your income by $10,000, $100,000 or $1,000,000. The amount is irrelevant. You learn some sales strategies. You learn how to advertise and market your business or yourself (if you’re employed) and after a while you start to get disappointed because nothing is working. You haven’t increased your income at all. You’ve taken the action as prescribed. You were given the strategy from someone who had successfully implemented it. Why then, didn’t it work for you? 

The reason is because you have a limiting belief (maybe an unconscious belief) that “Money is hard to make” or similar. 

Your beliefs trump any action you take. Your beliefs trump any strategy. 

In this example, if you believe money is hard to make, then money will be hard to make. In other words, you will likely sabotage yourself. You’re setting yourself up for failure before you even begin because you are not aware of the beliefs that are holding you back. 

This is why it so very important for you to discover your limiting beliefs so you can change them and use a technique known as neuro sculpting to rewire your brain so that your beliefs are in alignment with what you want to achieve. 

As for Jordan, the mentor’s advice and strategy were spot on, however they didn’t yield the results Jordan wanted because the real work Jordan needed to do was to discover and change the limiting beliefs. That’s another conversation and not one that everyone is open to. 

Speaking of which, if you would like to know more about discovering your limiting beliefs and why things may not be working out for you, reply to this email and we’ll set up a 15 minute complimentary call.

I’m Not a Bad Person (WT484)

I’m Not a Bad Person (WT484)

Blog

by Shirley Dalton | 4 Oct, 2019 | Blog, Mindset

WT484 I'm Not a Bad Person

Sally was sitting in the waiting room of the Doctor’s surgery.

Across from her was an older woman who looked like she had experienced some hard times.

Her hair was dishevelled, long and grey. Her clothes were ill fitting and her shoes needed mending.

She was on the phone talking very loudly, with the phone on speaker.

Sally couldn’t help but hear the conversation:

“I’m not a bad person,” the lady said.

“Why me? I’m starting to lose my faith. All these things have happened to me and it’s been a tough year.”

Sally cringed as she listened to the woman’s conversation.

“You may not be a bad person,” she thought, “But you do have bad thoughts.”

If only the lady knew what Sally knew about how the brain works and how we are responsible for what happens in our lives.

If only she knew that it was her limiting beliefs that were causing the thoughts, the feelings and her action or inaction, which produces her results. If she knew that, she would look deep into her limiting beliefs and change her thoughts so she could create a better future.

It’s our neuroscience and our vibrational reality that dictates what happens to us in our lives.

Bad stuff happens to us when our beliefs are out of alignment with what we want to create. Dr. Raymond Charles Barker calls this “unintelligent thinking”; not because we are stupid, rather because we are not tapping into the amazing intelligence that is all around and part of every one of us. You can call the intelligence God, the Universe, Consciousness, whatever you like.

The facts are that we are not bad people, however on occasion we do have bad thoughts and it’s these bad thoughts that create our misery.

Likewise, when we have good thoughts and operate in alignment with our empowering beliefs, we create amazing things for ourselves.

Your mission this week is to check in with your thoughts and feelings. If you’re not in a good place, see if you can identify the thoughts that may be causing you to feel this way. I’ll wager that there is a limiting belief behind them and it’s the limiting beliefs that we want to work on.

If you’re interested in knowing more or want to get rid of these beliefs that are holding you back, reach out and we can chat some more.

Dogs Don’t Discriminate (WT483)

Dogs Don’t Discriminate (WT483)

Blog

by Shirley Dalton | 27 Sep, 2019 | Blog, Mindset

WT483 Dogs Don't Discriminate

It was early morning and Ross was driving me to work with a client for the day.

I noticed a dog jumping all over a man who was sitting on the cold cement on a blanket.

The dog was on a leash and its owner was doing her best to pull the dog away, but it was having none of that. 

The dog clearly liked the man and continued to strain on its lead; tail wagging furiously and a big tongue doing its best to reach and lick the man’s face.

I was intrigued as I watched this and realised that the man appeared to be homeless, or at least he was begging.

Next to where he sat, he had two old crumpled cardboard boxes. I assumed they were to collect money or other donations.

He seemed to be enjoying the affections of the dog.

As we travelled past them, I couldn’t help but notice that dogs don’t discriminate.

They don’t know who is rich or poor. Who knows if they see fat or thin, big or small, different coloured skin and hair. They don’t know who is smart and who isn’t. They don’t know who works and who doesn’t. They mostly love and accept everyone.

Pity that the lady couldn’t allow the dog and the man to enjoy some affection.

What makes us discriminate?

How come we can’t behave more like dogs and be more accepting towards others?

Your action this week is to be mindful of your thoughts, feelings and actions and notice whether you find yourself discriminating or accepting others.

Know What You are Competing For (WT478)

Know What You are Competing For (WT478)

Blog

by Shirley Dalton | 23 Aug, 2019 | Blog, Mindset

WT478 Know what you are competing for

This week, I trialled a new activity for self-awareness with some participants for an in-house training session.

Participants had to share their preferences for how their colleagues could best work with them.

To make it fun, participants had to select some items without realising that the number of items they selected equalled the number of things they had to share about themselves.

The instructions were simple, “Take as many items as you like.” 

It was really interesting to see how the participants turned this into a competition. They competed for items which backfired on them when they realised the connection between the number of items and number of shares. 

Suddenly those who had not collected many items were now feeling relieved.

The competition that participants created wasn’t the aim of the activity, however, it did provide an opportunity to gain valuable insights into understanding that you need to know what you are competing for before committing. 

It also provided an opportunity for participants to realise that making assumptions (as in more items is better) can be risky.

What would you have done?  Would you have questioned whether the number of items was important or would you have gotten swept up in the competition, which turned out to not be something many wanted to win?

You’re Such an Idiot (WT474)

You’re Such an Idiot (WT474)

Blog

by Shirley Dalton | 26 Jul, 2019 | Blog, Mindset

WT 474 You're such an idiot

Of course I’m not talking about you.

This is what I’ve been saying to myself the past few days; even though I know better than to do that. 

Sometimes my ability to criticise myself astounds me.

I’ve been working day and night to make sure I have everything ready for our launch today for the Leading Yourself and Leading Others Membership Site.

I have pushed myself to learn about 4 or 5 new software programs to make sure they all talk to each other.

I was setting up the member logins and wanted to simply add their details to the new site.

There was an action step that generated a Welcome email, which I did not want to send.

Without realising that I had duplicate automation sequences, of course I chose the one that included the Welcome email and away it went before I realised.

“Damn!” (Well I said worse than that.) 

“Quick, send another email to make sure the members don’t try and login with the details in that email.”

I quickly put together an explanation and again, hit Send, only to find, to my horror, that in my haste, I had forgotten to update the Subject Line which was announcing our next Leading Yourself and Leading Others Experience in August in Newcastle.

“Damn!” (Again!)

There was nothing I could do.

My Inner Critic had a field day.

“You’re such an idiot.” “How embarrassing?” “How could you have been so stupid?” “What will people think?”

On and on and on it went, until I screamed “Enough!” “Stop it!”

“Yes, I made a mistake. In fact I made two mistakes in quick succession. That doesn’t mean I give up. I’m learning. People will forgive me. Let’s look at all the things I’ve done right over the past few weeks to get this ready.” 

Does this happen to you, too?  Is your Inner Critic quick to judge and call you names?

If so, here’s a tip I learned from Jack Canfield a long time ago. He taught us to turn our Inner Critic into an Inner Coach.  The critic is there to help us improve, so we can thank it and let it know we’re aware of what needs to be changed or improved and we’re working on it. The name calling can stop.

Understanding that the critic only wants the best for us and for us to do well and achieve our goals makes it a little easier to bear when they can be so detailed with their improvement list.

I’m curious. What strategies do you use to silence your Inner Critic?

Pin It on Pinterest